AN: I have decided to reformat this story and fix some little errors. This chapter combines chapters 2 and 3.
Today was Saturday, and I planned on sitting in bed and writing the Potions essay that I hadn't finished the night before. And when I finished said Potions essay, I planned on staying in bed and hiding from the world. Or at least from Sirius Black.
I was still so embarrassed about the way that I had acted. How could I have such a thick skull? I lost my only chance of having a friend for thinking that he wanted to shag me. Honestly, why would Sirius Black want to shag me? I'm no sight for sore eyes. Actually, I'm probably more of an eyesore. I'm not a thin little thing like the girls he is usually with. I'm a bit pudgy. I'm really paranoid about my figure and what everyone must think. Once in a while, I'll see someone looking over at me, and I'll think right away that they're probably thinking about how fat I am. Really, there is something wrong with me. I have problems talking to people, I can't open up, I don't think much of myself at all… You can see why I don't have any friends. I'm impossible. I really am. I really wish I could change that.
It was nearly lunch time, and my stomach was yelling at me to feed it. I put my completed Potions essay on the side and slid out of bed. After getting dressed and fixing my hair I slowly went downstairs, peering around to see if Sirius or his friends were around. When I realized they weren't around, I sighed in relief and walked across the Common Room and through the portrait hole. It must have been a Hogsmeade weekend. It didn't really bother me that I had missed it, although I did enjoy all of the shops and everything. I ate a sandwich in the Great Hall quickly, I wanted to eat before too many students came back. Or at least before he did.
Once I was finished, I went back up to my dormitory and got a cloak out of my trunk. It seemed like a nice day, and I could use the fresh air. As soon as I stepped outside and felt the cold wind in my face I smiled brightly to myself. I loved this time of year, when fall was slowly fading into winter. I quickly stepped down the stairs and walked down the worn path, a little bounce to my step as I did so. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, loving the smell of the world around me. I felt a tug on my cloak, and I gasped when my eyes fell upon the black dog looking up at me with the hem of my cloak in his mouth.
I scanned my eyes all around, looking for an owner, but not seeing anyone in sight. What was a dog doing at Hogwarts? The dog tugged on my cloak again, so I patted his head a bit. He let go of my cloak and wagged his tail. I couldn't help but laugh. This dog was the cutest thing I had seem, and all he wanted was someone to play with. A friend. I smiled down at him and noticed that he didn't have a collar.
"You don't have an owner, do you?" I said, kneeling down. As soon as I did, the dog jumped up, putting his front paws on my shoulders. This caused me to loose my balance and fall on my back, the very friendly dog laying on my stomach and licking my cheek. I started giggling and squirming while I tried to push his face away from me. The dog got off my stomach on sat beside me. I sat right up, laughing.
"You have to be the wackiest dog I know." When I said this, the dog seemed to grin! I laughed even more, petting the dog. Then, I actually started to talk to the dog! Can you believe it? I have problems talking to people, but I can spill my guts to a dog! I talked about how I love this time of year, how I wondered where the he came from and how a stray made his way to Hogwarts. It was as if he could actually understand me. It seemed as though he was listening to every word I was saying, his eyes staying on me the whole time.
Before I knew it, a lot of people were coming up the hill and toward the castle, they were back from Hogsmeade. I stood up and bushed the leaves off of my legs.
"I guess I should go now," I told the dog. He must have understood what I had said, for he turned and ran down the hill, going back to where ever he had come.
I turned and walked back up the path and up the stairs. I took one last breath of the fresh air before heading inside the warm castle.
I was making my way up the stairs, heading back to the Gryffindor Common Room, when something unusual occurred.
"Gabby! Aye, Gabby!" called a voice from behind me.
I jumped and my heart started racing. Who in Merlin's name was yelling for me of all people? I was already blushing wickedly when I slowly turned to face my pursuer. When I realized that it was Sirius Black who was running up the stairs toward me, shouting my name, I completely froze. My heart stopped beating. I was terribly embarrassed and nervous. He finally reached me. He bent over, panting and trying to catch his breath. He had just ran up three flights of stairs.
Three flights of stairs. Ran up them. For me. Sirius Black ran all the way up three flights of stairs just for me. Butterflies were fluttering wildly in my stomach. I believe I was shaking, that's how nervous I was that he was confronting me. Finally, when he had caught his breath, he stood up straight and smiled at me. I blushed even deeper, though I hadn't believed it to be possible.
"'Ello, Gabby," Sirius Black said cheerfully, still smiling brightly. He seemed so pleased with himself.
"H-Hi.." I said quietly, keeping my eyes on the floor.
"How are you on this fine Saturday?" He inquired.
"O-oh, er, Fine, thank you," I said even more quietly, still refusing to look up. I didn't want to look him in the eye. I was too nervous.
"Gabby?" he said, bending down so that he could catch my eye. My cheeks were on fire. "Are you alright, Gabby? You don't seem like you really want to–"
Before he could finish, I quickly turned around and headed off.
"Gabby, hold on just a tick," Sirius tried, but I didn't stop.
"I can't," I said, so softly that I doubt he even heard it. I barely heard it myself.
Once I got up to my dormitory, I shut the door and leaned my back against it, sliding down to the floor. I was so very embarrassed that I began to cry and sob softly. How could I have acted the way that I did? How could I have run away from Sirius Black yet again? He was only trying to talk to me. He was only being friendly. But for some reason, I couldn't let him be. I couldn't let Sirius Black become my friend. What in the bloody world is wrong with me? I have to be the most messed up person in the world. I have no social skills. I have no friends. I am incapable of even making small talk with a person, for Merlin's sake! They ought to go ahead and throw me in the looney bin already. That's where I belong. I can't talk to people, not at all. I sometimes even have a difficult time talking to my own parents. I don't know how I ever managed to become this way.
Monday morning I sat in my Potions class. I always sat in the back of the dark room, where no one would bother to look back at me. I sat alone, as per usual. I never socialized in class, and I thank the Holy Lord that none of my professors ever called on me for an answer, or to read a section of our text. The professors might have sensed that I did not want to participate. Maybe they thought there was something wrong with me.. Well, they weren't wrong if that's what they really did believe. None of my classmates ever really paid me any attention, and I was thankful for that as well. I was just unable to interact with others. I was just too nervous of a person to talk with my classmates.
As I sat in the back of the classroom, keeping to myself and listening to the professor lecture, I happened to glance up in time to notice one of Sirius Black's mates looking back at me. I wasn't sure what his name was, but he was the one that was always observing the action. He was the one who always seemed content sitting back and reading a book. The boy looked away, and then started saying something in private to James Potter, who sat next to him. I wondered if he had said something about me, or if it was only my paranoia striking up once again. Before I had a chance to let my thoughts wander any further, the bell sounded, interrupting my paranoid thoughts and wiping them away completely.