Breathe

a missing scene between A Christmas Carol and Emily

She stared at the phone for a long moment before she even dared to pick it up, then made three failed attempts to dial before she got his number right. It was not calling him that paralyzed her, but rather the content of the call. What was she going to say? How she was supposed to explain all this to him, when she could barely explain it to herself? She had a daughter she had known nothing about. Only a few months ago she was on the brink of death, and now this…?

Ever since she had received the results of the DNA test, she had been restless, unable to sit still. The date for the hearing at the Hall of Justice had been set, much to her brother's dismay. Bill was somewhat more supportive now that the results had been back, but she knew he had a hard time wrapping his head around the incredulity of the whole thing. Her mother did, too, and who could blame them, really? She was beginning to warm up toward the idea of this little girl being her niece, but her daughter? Somehow it was easier to believe the crazy scenario in which Melissa had run off to have a baby all those years ago.

There was no answer on the other end, and for a moment she was dizzy with relief. Now she wouldn't have to say things she wasn't ready to say. She'd be able to make sense of it all before –

"Hello?"

She gripped the phone, her hopes shattering. Her heart stopped, then started beating twice as fast.

"Hello, is there anyone there?" he asked, his voice a mix of suspicion and hostility.

She knew she was being silly. If anyone could make sense of all this crazy, he was the one. She shouldn't be afraid to tell him what happened. She should get over herself and speak up. "Hey, Mulder, it's me."

"Scully! Hey! Merry Christmas!" he greeted her, and for a moment she was taken aback by the warmth his tone carried. Sure, their partnership had never been stronger, and they were growing closer still following her recent ordeal at the hospital, but he sounded genuinely happy to hear her, as though he had missed her. From some reason, she hadn't expected him to.

"Scully? Are you there?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry, I was..."

"How are things? Is Bill driving you up the wall so much you needed to hear a friendly voice?" he quipped, but she was too tense to play along. Somehow he picked up on it, and cleared his throat. "Is something wrong, Scully?"

She was amazed at how attuned he was to her, even on long distance. She sighed. No going back now. "Mulder, I hate to do this on Christmas, but... do you think it will be possible for you to get over here?"

"To San Diego?" Her request clearly caught him off guard, but even if he recognized the urgency in her voice, he attempted to laugh it off one final time. "What's the matter, Scully? Are you out of options for a plus one dinner party?"

"Something happened a couple of days ago and I... I'm not really sure how to handle it," she said. It felt good to admit it. She felt slightly better already.

"What?" he asked, immediately on guard. "Scully, are you hurt?"

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that. I'm fine, it's just that..." Her voice trailed. She laughed somewhat desperately. "I don't even know how to begin telling you this."

"Just say it, Scully, it can't possibly be worse than the thoughts in my head just now." And he did sound alarmed now, as though he had expected her to tell him her cancer was back and that she had three months to live.

"I... got involved in a local murder investigation. A woman called my brother's house and told me someone needed my help."

She told him about the disembodied voice on the phone, and how the woman sounded just like Melissa. She spoke of Marshal and Roberta Sim; she spoke at length of their daughter, who turned out to be adopted. She pointed out the gnawing suspicion that began to grow with her upon seeing the little girl and comparing the PCRs. By the time she had mentioned the DNA test that had been done, she knew she had his undivided attention.

"And was it? Your sister's daughter?" he asked when she was finally finished.

"Well, no. Actually…" She closed her eyes and just said it. "She's my daughter."

"I beg your pardon?"

For all the times she had seen his face light up over one oddity or other; she would have loved to see his face just now. "Don't ask me how it's possible, Mulder, but I'm this little girl's mother."

There was silence on his end. Then he let out this astounded laugh. "I... did not see this one coming."

She chuckled, the sound an almost perfect echo of his own. "Yeah, tell me about it."

"What are you going to do?"

"Well, that why I'm calling you. I was hoping you could pull some strings to see if you could find her adoption records, something, anything that might shed some light on this thing. And I need you to get over here to be a witness on my behalf."

"A witness?"

She swallowed, hard. "In a custody hearing."

She had expected the silence on the other end. She knew that the words, but mostly their implications, would shock him. Then he said, somewhat hesitantly, "You know I'd do anything I can to help you out, Scully, but are you sure – "

"The way I see it, I don't have much choice one way or the other." she said quietly. "She's three years old. Both her parents are dead. She has no one else."

"It just…" He started, but faltered. "It sounds as if you've grown so attached to her already."

He said this somewhat fretfully, as though this was bad news and in a way she supposed it was. But there was nothing else she could possibly do. Fate had put this child in her path. Emily needed her. She squared her shoulders, ready for battle. "If this is indeed my child I'm not going to abandon her just to save my own ass, Mulder."

He sighed, but not in apprehension. She knew he would have acted just as adamantly, had the tables been turned. "When do you need me there?"

This was a different sort of relief, filling her to the core. Despite the grave situation, she found herself smiling. "As soon as possible. I know finding a flight might be trickier because of the holiday – "

"Leave it to me. I'll get right on it."

"Thank you," she said honestly. She knew he wouldn't let her down, but she appreciated his willingness all the same.

She gave him direction from the airport to her brother's house, then to the county children's center. He promised he would be there as soon as he could. Only upon hanging up, she realized her hands were shaking. She placed the phone back down, releasing a breath she didn't even realize she was holding.

"Dana?" She opened her eyes and turned to find Bill standing in front of her. "Are you alright?"

He was leaning against the banister, on his way downstairs apparently. His position on the stairs gave the illusion he was even taller than usual. Despite the concern reflected in his eyes, there was also discontent there. Although it was unclear how long he had been standing there, she knew he knew whom she was talking to. She knew he didn't like it.

And yet, at the moment, she couldn't care less. "I'm fine."

He frowned as though he knew he wouldn't be getting anything further from her, and walked passed her to the kitchen. She waited a few seconds, then entered the living room. She curled on the sofa and stared into the dancing flames at the fireplace. Although invisible to the eye, her smile lingered on her lips. She was suddenly able to breathe more easily. Despite the uncertainties, her trepidation, she was feeling new hope.

Mulder was on his way.