And now, Lucario would like to give his take on the Pokémon XY Anime Special Shorts: Hoopa's Operations

Lucario paced back in forth, looking downward in deep thought. He walked back and forth many times, clearly in deep concentration.

Eventually he stopped, and looked at the camera. He opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped himself and held up a paw as he closed his eyes again to think.

Then, he sighed, opened his eyes, and said, "Okay, so I find my two sons Riolu and Zorua in some kind of argument with an Enigma Berry. This Enigma Berry to be exact."

Lucario tossed the Enigma Berry up and caught it a few times in his other paw.

"Now, imagine my confusion when I saw that those two trying to force the Enigma Berry on each other while trying to outshout each other. Well, after breaking them up, I found out that the Enigma Berry was given to Zorua by Ryu Taylor the Ferret as a kind of payment to review a series of anime shorts starring a new Legendary Pokemon named Hoopa. Zorua didn't want to go through with it, and convinced Riolu to take over. But then Riolu didn't want to go through with it, and thus, they had a fight."

Lucario sighed and said, "Now, when I trained Riolu in the art of Aura Manipulation, I also instilled in him the standard statutes that all martial arts have. This includes, of course, honor. So, I told Riolu that he should honor the promise he made to his brother, and that Zorua should honor his own promise to Ryu Taylor, by reviewing the Hoopa shorts together as a team."

Lucario slumped, appearing to wilt as his ears drooped a bit, and he continued, "And then those two started crying and begging and pleading. . .and then Zoroark came in and saw them crying. . . then they ran over to her and started begging and pleading. . ."

Lucario shook it off and stood up straight again, "So. . . yes. . .Long story short, now I'm reviewing the shorts. . . Okay. . ."

Lucario tossed the Enigma Berry up into the air and caught it in his mouth. He chewed, swallowed, and said, "Let's get started."

"First of all, these six 40 second shorts are meant to get people excited for Hoopa's upcoming movie, Hoopa and the Clash of Ages. They feature the new Legendary Pokemon interacting with Ash and Pikachu, showing off his powers and personality. Sounds pretty harmless to me, so let's take a look."

"In the first short, entitled 'Fly,' Ash is wearing a Sky Battle flight-suit from XY036- Battles in the Sky. He wants to do some flying, but there's no wind. Hoopa decides to help Ash by using his magic ring to make a portal that summons three Fetchlings who use Gust to get Ash airborne. But then Hoopa summons a huge army of Flying-type Pokemon, including Therian Forme Tornadus, that send Ash, Pikachu, and Hoopa blasting off like Team Rocket. Then the short ends."

Lucario blinked, staring straight ahead, looking quite unhappy. "That's it? That was the short? Was that even a short? That felt like-"

Lucario's jaw suddenly dropped, "WAIT A MINUTE!? TORNADUS!? TORNADUS!? Where did he come from!? How can Hoopa summon Legendary Pokemon? What if he pulled Dialga somewhere right when he's trying to do some complex time manipulation? Or for that matter, what if any Pokemon he summoned was right in the middle of something important? How do these portals work? Do they go through time and pull Pokemon in from a time that's convenient? How do they know? Or do these portals create energy clones of Pokemon, which is very disturbing if those portals can bring in a clone of Arceus!"

Lucario glared and said, "And another thing, Hoopa is . . . he's . . . he's so. . .well. . . he laughs and chants 'did Hoopa startle you?!' as Ash is flailing around in mid air and being thrown around by the crazy wind he made! Is he sadistic? Is he a prankster? What?! And then when he gets caught in Tornadus' wind, he just gives the most arrogant sneaky smile and says, 'Hoopa startled you! Hee-hee-hee,' as if it's no concern of his!"

Lucario sighed, "Well, in the next short, entitled 'Alarm,' Ash and Pikachu are asleep in a tent with six alarm clocks shaped like Loudreds and Explouds going off all at ounce, but they still aren't waking up for some reason. Since when were they such heavy sleepers? So Hoopa summons a real Loudroud, Exploud, and Noivern to wake them both up, while he wears earplugs, of course. Ofcourse, this nearly sends them blasting off a second time and totally destroys their tent. After Hoopa taunts and bullies Ash, we see that Pikachu is somehow still asleep after a burst of sound that nearly caused Ash to go deaf, and then he Thunderbolts Ash and Hoopa while still alseep, and the short ends."

Lucario took in a sharp breath and said, "What the heck am I watching? Is this reality? Is this what the Pokemon Anime has come to? This is ridiculous! I'm only on the second short, and I already want to strangle this cocky, arrogant, jerk!"

"So. . . in the next. . . thing. . . called 'Ball Collecting,' Ash and Pikachu are helping Hawlucha train by tossing Pokeballs at him for him to. . . dodge? Block? Deflect? I don't know, I don't know!"

Lucario sighed, "Well, anyway, Hoopa then rips of Valve's Portal by using his rings to send the Pokeballs back to Ash, making things a lot easier."

Lucario raised an eyebrow and said, "Wow. Hoopa's actually being nice and helpful. Maybe he's not so bad after all?"

"Well, after a while, Hoopa gives this smug little smirk and summons a Voltorb to blow Ash and Pikachu up! Oh, but don't worry! Pikachu knocks the Voltorb back to Hoopa, so he gets blown up too! This would have been a happy ending, if it didn't end with Hoopa smirking anyway and saying how he 'got startled' in this sickeningly cute way."

Lucario roared, "WHAT IS THIS!? This is awful! I'm not kidding, this is absolutely painful! Is this all Hoopa is good for? Treating Ash Ketchum like a butt monkey?"

"Well, in the next. . . sin. . . called 'White-Hot Battles', Ash and Pikachu are in a boxing ring, probably the one from Super Smash Bros. 3DS, and we get a very disturbing image of them being fired up for a battle. Hoopa summons a Blaziken for them to battle, and the two of them are really excited, but then Hoopa summons an army of Fire-type Pokemon to brutally attack them, and he laughs smugly as Ash and Piakchu run around with their behinds on fire. Luckily, Moltress shows up and gives Hoopa third degree burns."

A joyful tear trickled down Lucario's left cheek as he smiled and nodded, saying with a genuine tone of gratitude, "Thank you so much for that, Moltress."

"So, in the next. . . TeenTitansGO! episode. . . called 'Shooting Stars,' Ash and Pikachu are stargazing, and they see a shooting star. Pikachu tries to wish on one, but the shooting star disappears before he can finish the wish. So Hoopa creates a huge meteor shower. . . okay, just how powerful is this Pokemon? Anyway, Ash wishes to become a Pokemon Master soon, ha-ha, but then it turns out that the stars are actaully. . . Staryu? That's actually kinda cruel for those poor Staryu. . . Falling through the atmosphere on fire like that. . . Well, anyway, one of them hits Ash and Pikachu, blows up? . . . and sends them blasting off like Team Rocket. . . again. Of course, since Hoopa is a sadistic jerk, he snickers his sickening snicker, but then another Staryu comes down and blasts him off too."

Lucario folded his arms and frowned, "Unfortunately, hurting Hoopa too isn't enough to curb my disgust for him anymore."

Lucario then sobbed loudly and said, "FINALLY! The last The Land Before Time sequel, called 'Darkness,' has Ash, Pikachu, and Hoopa going through a dark cave. Hoopa summons a small group Litwick to light the way, but then, because he's a jerk, he summons an army of Litwick which awakens another army of Noibat, Noivern, and Sableye that blast them all out of the cave. Hoopa then ends it by saying that you can leave anything to him."

Lucario smiled, "Well, fine. I'll leave you something, Hoopa. I'll leave you these six shorts. Do you now why I'm leaving them to you? BECAUSE THEY'RE TERRIBLE!"

Lucario held his head in his paws and shouted, "Oh my gosh, what were they thinking when they made these shorts! Have you ever heard of an advertising campaign that gave you every reason in the world not to like something? Who'd want to go see Hoopa's movie now? He's just a horrible Pokemon! The only way this could work is if he were the villain! But even then, it may not work. Mewtwo was the cold hearted, sadistic, arrogant villain in Pokemon: The First Movie, but we liked him because he had a deep, interesting backstory and wasn't cocky and annoying. Hoopa is just an annoying little brat that gets joy from causing innocent people physical pain. Someone needs to slap him in the mouth and teach him some manners, the little cretin. . ."

Lucario closed his eyes, took one last deep breath, opened his eyes slowly and said sternly and stiffly, "That's all I have to say."

Then he turned on his heels and walked away.

Thank You

(Zoroark here. Wow, Hoopa is really. . . unlikable. He's not cute, and he's certainly not nice. He's just annoying, and kinda ugly too. If he was just trying to be a helpful genie but his powers kept backfiring by accident, maybe that could work. But Hoopa is clearly deliberately making things harder, and painful, for Ash and Pikachu. This family does not like Hoopa one bit, but we're still going to see the movie anyway. Hopefully the other characters and other Legendary Pokemon that Hoopa will summon to fight in a hopefully epic battle will be enough to make the movie a tolerable experience. . . also, I feel really bad for making my love review those shorts. . . ('Z'))