Chapter Seven

Beca POV

I was dreaming, I knew it for sure. The vision was blurry and hard to follow - I was tired, and I was running. I couldn't tell if it was raining or if I was sweating out of sheer panic. Panic because I knew that Chloe was in front of me, but I could hardly see her and there was no way I was able to catch her... I had to keep trying.

"Beca, Beca..."

That was weird, it sounded like she was really close, but I could still hardly make out her figure in the murky distance in front of me.
"Beca..."

I could feel my eyes slowly start to seep open... They were stinging and extremely blurry; I must've been crying in my sleep.
"Hey there sleepy bear, it's time to wake up - you really need to get ready, we have to leave soon."

I tried to push my eyes open that little bit more, consciousness was starting to flow into my mind and my eyes were able to start taking in my surroundings.
Today we go and scout DSM - Das Sound Machine. What kind of wankey name even is that? Way to be up yourself.
I pushed myself up onto my elbows and took in my surroundings. The first thing that I noticed was that Chloe was sitting on my bed, right next to me, her hand gently resting on my knee, I could feel the soothing warmth even through the quilt.

So it was her voice that I could hear.

I stared up into her eyes, I could feel my breath catch in my throat and my heart skip a beat. It was the greatest feeling in the entire world.
When I finally was able to tear my eyes away from her own, I took in the rest of her appearance. As always she looked utterly impeccable. Her skin was soft and glowing, she was wearing a tight navy blue skirt, that was super classy but at the same time ultra sexy. She was also wearing a loose button-up shirt, that hung on all the right places... Not to mention the nice view it was giving me right now- Oh my gosh! Head back in the game Mitchell.

I looked back up to her, my face a little sheepish and drowsy. Wow, does she have a massive effect on me. I don't know how I was able to suppress it for so long.
Luckily I don't think she noticed where my eyes were just a moment ago.
I looked back down towards her hand that was resting on my knee, her thumb started to sub-consciously rub back and forth... I could feel my stomach clench and tighten. My face was going red, I could feel the heat travel up my neck and flush onto my cheeks.
God, I never wanted this moment to end. Before I knew it, Chloe's eyes followed mine and she quickly snapped her hand away. Whatever daze she was in before had completely vanished, and the oh-so professional Chloe I was starting to get to know lately, had returned.

Chloe hopped up off the bed,
"You two better get up, we have to leave in an hour." Chloe's eyes looked over to Fat Amy who was slowly starting to sit up, and then back to me. She stared into my eyes and I had no idea what she was feeling.
Chloe looked at me a second longer before disappearing out of the room.
Why was she so hard to read lately? I've never known Chloe to be like this. One minute she is so close and the next so very far away.

All I knew for sure was that I greatly missed the warmth of her hand. I felt so cold now that she had gone. How could a simple touch take hold of me so much?

A minute or so later Fat Amy awkwardly threw herself out of bed and drudged down the stairs and towards the bathroom. She was never a morning person, to be honest neither was I.
I grunted and sat up, I guess it was time to get ready.

The more I woke up, the more I began to think about last night with Jesse, and as I was standing there, alone in the shower, I cried. I cried because I lost a huge part of me. Even though Jesse wasn't the right one for me and I don't think we ever worked on a romantic level. He was still one of the only rock solids in my life, someone who I could always depend and rely on. Without him I was terrified. I was so vulnerable... Especially now that Chloe has been acting so weird.

The more I thought about all this, the more I realised how much of a wreck I was becoming. My back hit against the cold tiles of the shower wall, the contrast between that and the hot water sent shivers all through my skin.
I slid down and sat on the bathroom floor and continued to cry.
I was so insanely scared of everything.
Scared of stuffing up with the Bellas.
Scared of stuffing up my internship.
But most of all... I was terrified of losing Chloe.

I guess it takes someone to force you to see what is right in front of you, to realise just how much you love someone and that you would do anything to never hurt them, or lose them.
So, that's why, when it comes to Chloe I feel like I am stuck in the same spot, because going forwards means risking losing her forever and pushing her away.

A sharp wrap on the bathroom door broke me from my thoughts and stopped my tears.

"Yo B!" Stacie's voice came booming through the door.
"We're leaving in like 10 minutes!" There was a short pause, "I also have to pee like there is no tomorrow, so get a wriggle on would ya!"

"Yeah sure, just give me 2 minutes!"

I stood up and let the hot water rush over my face and wash all my tears away. I sighed and tried to gather my thoughts as much as possible. Let's put this mask on and get this day over with.

20 minutes later we were all sitting on the bus, Fat Amy was driving and everyone was chatting excitedly amongst themselves.
Without even meaning too, I found myself sitting next to Chloe. It was something that I both relished in, as well as absolutely hated.
She smelt incredible! It was a subtle and soft scent, I could never really put my finger on it, I just associated it with her and it made me feel warm and safe all at once.
I found myself gently taking in deep breaths.
Sitting this close to her I could almost feel the warmth from her skin, I craved to sit just that little bit closer before realising how ridiculous and creepy I was being.

I was sitting next to the window and found myself looking out at the surroundings, rather than engaging in conversation with the rest of the girls. My mind lingered on anything and everything, without really thinking about all the stuff I was worried about. I guess I was also trying to distract my mind from the close proximity at which Chloe was sitting from me.

Chloe was politely listening to Stacie talk about the hot guy she met at the party the other night. I knew she wasn't paying too much attention because I could feel her eyes fall on me from time to time and even without looking at her I could sense her concern. I knew that I had a few seconds to pull myself together and put on a front before she started asking questions. Questions that were bound to get really awkward.

But, alas, I was too late. Stacie had noticed Chloe's eyes wandering over to me again and again, before she too began to look at me with a bit of concern.

"Hey B, what's eating you up? You look like you've seen a ghost or something." Stacie asked, in a much gentler tone than how she was talking before.
I looked over to both of the girls and saw them looking at me with quiet intent. I could see Chloe's eyes doing a thorough analysis of my very soul, it sort of took my breath away.

"I- I guess I'm just not feeling too flash, I didn't get much sleep last night."
I saw something like anger and jealousy flash through Chloe's eyes, before she looked away. At first I couldn't understand it, and then I realised what I had said and how she left me last night. It began to make sense. But then again at the same time it didn't, why would she feel that way...?

Before I could think much more of it, Stacie interrupted once again.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with me seeing Jesse leave crying late last night?" Her eyes held mine in place and I knew I wasn't getting out of this conversation.

Chloe's eyes shot back over to me, filled with confusion.
"Are you okay? What happened Beca?" Chloe's voice was the gentlest I have ever heard it. Her eyes were completely filled with worry as I watched them run across my face, before stopping just below my eyes... She probably noticed the big panda circles that lined them; Chloe knew I only got those after I had been crying.
"Beca... did he hurt you?" Chloe's fingers gently traced the bags under my eyes as she looked over the rest of my face for any sign of distress.

"What?! If he hurt you! I swear to god I will kill the bastard!" Stacie yelled as she half stood up, before the movement of the bus knocked her back into her seat.

"No, no!" I quickly interrupted her before she did some serious damage. By this stage every one of the Bellas were looking at me with curiosity. I felt myself slip farther into my seat and hoped that it would eat me whole.
Lily's quiet voice, barely audible, stated,
"I can show you guys a dead body if you want?" Everyone slowly turned to her with a mixture of curiosity and concern... Before slowly sliding back to me.

Chloe gently grabbed onto my hand, I could feel electric shocks shoot up my arm, it made me flinch, she took it the wrong way and quickly dropped my hand. Her face looking guilty and apologetic.

"Honey, what happened?" Chloe looked at me and asked again.

"I- uh... Well, we broke up..." The words came out more like a whisper. I hated all this attention being on me.
I looked down and tried to push back the tears that threatened to fall. I really hope that I can still have a friendship with Jesse. I really want to talk to him about everything that's going on with Chloe, but I know that would only cause him too much pain.

Once I knew I could hold back the tears, I looked up towards Chloe, her mouth forming a small 'o'. All the Bellas were silent, before Emily chipped in,
"Wait... You guys broke up!? I thought you were both so solid."
Stacie, Jessica and Angela all agreed that it was a huge shock and started pumping out questions from left, right and centre.

"Guys, guys! Give the girl some room geez!" Cynthia Rose called out from directly behind me. I looked back towards her and gave her a thankful smile. She gently grabbed my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

Looking over at Chloe once again she still looked totally shocked. I didn't know if I should say something... She was once again completely hard to read.
She must've noticed me looking at her, because she broke from her daze and looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, before looking down.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She quietly whispered disappointingly, out of earshot from the other Bellas "you're my best friend Beca, I will always be here for you."

Those last words sent flashes of the night she drunkenly kissed me outside my room through my head. My heart skipped a few beats and I couldn't help but have my hopes raised at the idea of a future with this amazing woman.

Before I could even reply to her, Fat Amy slammed on the breaks, forcing us to all grab onto the nearest stable item.
"We're here!" She yelled out.

Chloe and I both seemed to have broken from whatever reverie we were in and the entire mood changed.

We all stumbled out the bus and got ready to face our new arch nemesis'.

As we walked through the door I received a message on my phone from Residual Heat.
Apparently we had to go in this afternoon to prepare for Snoop's arrival tomorrow morning. Shit. This was going to be pushing it.
Hopefully this performance won't last very long.

I looked over towards Chloe, who was walking in front of me, excitedly talking to Cynthia-Rose about the possibility of beating these guys in World's.

I really hope that I don't disappoint her.

AN: So sorry about the wait on this one guys and gals! I had a small issue with writer's block... I hope you enjoy! Would love to hear what you think and to see whether this is still going down a path that interests you!