And now it's time for Zorua Reviews with Zorua- son of Zoroark.

Tonight's Review: EP001: Pokemon- I Choose You!

(First Person POV)

OH MY GOSH! This is the greatest Pokemon episode I've ever seen in my life!

I wanna be, the very best! that no one ever- SPOILERS!

This this 10 year old kid, named Ash Ketchum.

Yeah, he's kind of an underground anime character, I don't think you'd know him.

And he want to be a Pokemon Master!

In fact, he want to be one so much that he stays up so late watching a Pokemon battle on TV that he oversleeps and also breaks his alarm clock.

(Zorua scratched behind his ear in confusion).

What a looser!

So Ash runs over to Professor Oak's lab,

But he's too later! The three starter Pokemon are gone!

And Ash is like,

"Oh no! It's not like I can just catch them later on in the show!"

But Professor Oak is like,

"Don't worry, my boy. . . or girl. . . you never told me what you were. Err, I have this really disobedient, dangerous, over powered Pikachu you can take."

Yeah, Pikachu's another underground anime character. Don't worry if you don't know him.

So Ash is like, "Okay, I'll take him."

Then Pikachu zaps him with like a bajillion volts of electricity!

And Ash. . .somehow. . .doesn't. . . die. . .

Maybe he just got brain damage, that would explain a lot.

I got zapped by a bajillion volts of electricity once!

. . . .

Hey, I don't have drain bamage!

. . . .

That was a joke, I did that on purpose. . .

So Pikachu won't go in his Pokeball for some reason that never gets explained in the history of the entire series!

So Ash puts a leash on Pikachu!

Well, no wonder Pikachu doesn't like Ash if he does something this demeaning to him.

I got put on a leash once!

Well, okay, it was more of an metal claw that electrocuted me half to death. . .

So Ash tries to catch a Pidgey,

But then he angers a huge flock of killer Spearow!

"Oh my gosh, I'm really bad at this!"

So the Spearow peck the heck out of Pikachu, and they run and jump into a pond.

No, no, no, that's for bees, not birds, get your cartoon gags right.

But then again, I'm pretty sure Ash doesn't know anything about the bird and the bees.

I know about the birds and bees!

(Zorua grinned)

I have a girlfriend, remember!

Ahh, Zoe. . . you and Luke know better than anyone else that there's no business like show business.

But then this girl named Misty, a girl that Toadettegirl2012 wants to murder for some reason, pulls them out of the pond.

And Ash is like,

"Thanks for saving me, would you mind if I steal your bicycle?"

And Misty is like,

"Well sure I- wait, what?"

"Too late!"

*ding-ding*

"Oh-no!"

(Zorua looked confused)

Okay, so why is Misty the one Toadettegirl2012 hates?

I mean, a lot of people hate Ash, so she'd be in good company?

Well, Ash is pedaling and pedaling and pedaling!

But the Spearow are. . . still chasing them. . . for some reason. . .

I guess all Spearows are prejudiced against Pikachus.

Or maybe Flying-types just don't like Electric-types?

Then a giant thunderstorm appears to add to the tension,

And maybe act as a Chekhov's Battery for Pikachu.

And Ash is like,

"Get in the ball you stubborn jerk!"

But Pikachu is like,

"(No! And I still arbitrarily hate you if though your're trying to save me from those killer Spearows!)"

"Alright, then I'll just do something that will become a running thing throughout this entire series!"

"(And what's that?)"

"Human shield. . ."

"(Fine, whatever, see if I- wait, what?)"

"OWW-OWW-OWW! OOOH! I'M DYING!"

"(Oh my gosh, I'm a stubborn jerk! I don't mind the stubborn part, I'm still not going in that Pokeball, but I'm a jerk! Well no more! This human is willing to lay his life down for me! And for that, I will become the best friend that he'll ever have in his entire life! THUNDER SHOCK!)"

So Pikachu unleashes a huge Thunder Shock that defeats all the Spearow at once!

Oh, and he also fries Misty's bike that Ash stole.

Why does Toadettegirl2012 hate Misty!?

And thus with the destruction of Misty's bike, a running gag with the frequency of a brick joke was born,

which would die in Pokemon Black and White.

And so, Pikachu and Ash finally start their eternal friendship,

They see Ho-Oh flying over them,

And all the fans use that as evidence for the theory that Ash will be ten years old forever,

Completely ignoring the fact that Ash has gotten taller and his voice has gotten deeper over the course of the series.

So that was the first episode of the Pokemon Anime, and all I have to say is. . . .

. . . don't watch the poorly animated original version, watch the remastered version on that debuted on Pokemon Smash! instead!

Meema and daddyare on Pokemon Smash!

Well, okay, it's some other Zoroark and Lucario, and a giant Chimchar and Oshawott too, but it's close!

And anyway, how did the writers and animators expect this show to catch on?

Ash is stupid and Pikachu is fat!

It's not like they were trying to show the progression of an immature and ignorant Ash into an awesome and caring Pokemon trainer who saves the world time and time again in order to show kids that anyone can be truly great if they put their mind to it, and the slow and gradual weight loss and increase in physical fitness, agility, and strength of Pikachu was their way of showing kids that it takes time and effort to be physical fit and it isn't something that you can obtain by going on a 3 week diet or by taking a pill and that all that work is worth it in the end.

(Zorua was out of breath after his long speech and was nearly hyperventilating after it. He took a few deep breaths and then continued.)

This is Zorua here, and I was wondering. . .do ya got any Pecha berries?! PLEASE! I really like Pecha berries! Come on, feed a cute little Zorua out, huh? Come on, please!

Come on, didn't you see what I did there? I went back to my original ending gag of asking for Pecha berries to connect to my review of the very first episode! Isn't that worth some Pecha berries?

Oh, and thanks DragonNiro! I love that Baymax plushy! It's so soft and squishy! And the whole family enjoyed those Oran berries! Yummy!

Thank You

(Zoroark here. How can you not like the first episode of a show? . . . well okay, you can if the episode is bad, but this episode was great! It introduced Ash as a naive, innocent, enthusiastic, determined kid who wants to acquire greatness and will also do anything to protect his Pokemon friends! We also got to see Ash's mom, Professor Oak, Gary, Misty, and of course, Pikachu! This was a solid episode that provided a solid beginning for a really fun anime with drama, comedy, heart, and soul. May the Pokemon Anime and Pokemon games live for eternity! ('Z'))