My friend (and my dear beta) said it was traumatic but I really like it. I hope that someone else will like it too. ;o)
I had this idea for some time and it didn't want to go away so I had to write it down otherwise I wouldn't be able to write anything else.
Oliver Queen didn't have any idea how to live without his wife. And he was terrified that he would have to find out fairly soon. Felicity Queen had been in a coma for twenty seven days and everybody kept telling him that it would be better to let her go because there wasn't a big chance that she would wake up.
He sat by her bed for most of those twenty seven days. He left for a few hours on the third night because he finally found out who sent his wife into the hospital. It turned out that it was just an unfortunate accident.
After that he didn't leave for more than couple of minutes. He held her hand. He talked to her. He begged her to wake up not only for him but for their eleven months old son. But nothing worked. There wasn't any sign of Felicity getting better.
It was an early afternoon when Oliver heard a gentle knock on the door. He didn't have to think twice to know who was behind the door. It was his sister. She let herself in only a moment after.
He sighed. Thea knew he didn't want her there because she was persistent about him making the decision. She didn't understand – or didn't want to understand – that he did make a decision – just not the one which everybody thought was the best.
Maybe he wasn't fair. They all knew and liked Felicity so it had to be hard for them too. But they had their ways to cope with the loss.
If Oliver let Felicity die he wouldn't have anything left. He realized it wasn't true but it felt like it. He would still have little Robert but he would hurt the little boy. He wouldn't be able to look at his son without feeling guilty that he let his mother die. Because it was his fault that Felicity was on a life-support. He wasn't with her when she practically drowned herself. It was his job to keep his family safe and he failed miserably.
He heard Thea taking a deep breath and he knew what was coming so he stopped her straight away. "Thea, don't!" He wasn't in a mood to fight with his sister.
"Ollie, I think -," she started and he wasn't that surprised that she didn't listen to him. She was one of the fewest people he wasn't able to push away even when he tried.
"I said don't, Thea," growled Oliver.
His sister shook her head. "No, Ollie! You need to listen! Felicity wouldn't want you to do this."
"Do what?" he asked although he already knew the answer. It wasn't the first time they've had this conversation.
"She wouldn't want you to cut off your son, to stop living." Thea stopped just to take another deep breath. "I don't think she would want to be on a life-support when there isn't much chance that she'll ever wake up." She shrugged and tears appeared in her eyes. "The doctor said that she's brain dead."
Oliver felt anger rising up in him. It wasn't the first time Thea told him this but there was something new in her voice. "You don't know what she would want!" he snapped. He pointed his finger to Felicity lying on the hospital bed. "She would want to be with her son, to watch him become a man, to give him siblings! She wouldn't want me to give up hope when there's still any! Even if it's the slightest one! So stop talking me into it! I won't do it. I can't do it."
He turned away from his sister. His hands were trembling. He wanted to punch something. He clenched his fists. He couldn't let the anger to take over control. It would be dangerous and it was the last thing he needed to be, dangerous.
Oliver heard Thea's steps and then felt her hand on his shoulder. He pulled away.
"Ollie, please," she whispered.
He turned to face her. "Get out." He didn't feel bad when he saw the pain in her eyes. He never talked to her like this. He loved his sister. That didn't change but he had so much on his plate right now that he needed support from her and it was something she wasn't willing to give him right now.
Oliver tried really hard to understand all the people who thought he made a mistake when he refused to believe that Felicity wasn't going to wake up but it was another thing in which he failed miserably. At one moment he was decided to let her die but then he read the article about a little boy who woke up from the coma even when the doctors said he wouldn't. It gave him new hope. He told their family and friends – even the doctors - about this boy but they all seemed sceptic.
When Oliver heard a knock on the door the following morning he thought of a few swearwords. He wasn't in a mood to listen to anybody. He had a really bad night. He couldn't sleep because he had been thinking about Thea's words the whole night. At the sunrise he was finally ready to accept that his sister might be right.
The door opened and Oliver turned his head with a sigh. He stood up and walked over to John.
"Any change?" asked Dig.
Oliver shook his head. "No. And it's not even a good sign. Damn it!" He swore quietly and clenched his fists. "I need to talk to you."
Diggle looked surprised. "Ok."
Oliver opened the door to the hallway and with one more look Felicity's direction he left the room. He went to the waiting room where he found all of their friends, Thea, Donna even Robbie. Oliver wasn't really happy about the fact that his son had been in the hospital but on the other hand he was glad to see him because Robbie reminded him what he was missing for the last month.
"How's my baby girl?" asked Donna at the moment she saw him.
Oliver shook his head regretfully. "Still the same." He took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something." He looked at each one of the people in the room. "All of you." He picked up his son who came to him on unsteady legs and was stretching his arms up to him.
Laurel made a few steps his direction, worried look on her face. "Ollie?"
He gave her a sad smile. "I've been thinking all night and I think it's finally time to face the truth. I don't want to lose Felicity but it probably happened already. I can't sit next to her bed and wait for her to wake up or die. My son needs me so I decided it's time to do it. To let her go." He looked at his sister. "You were right, Thea, she wouldn't want this."
"Oliver, you can't do it." Diggle looked horrified.
Oliver gave him a look of disbelief. "Just a few days ago you were trying to convince me that it's the best thing I can do. And when I finally say I'll do it you tell me I can't? Care to elaborate?"
Dig sighed. "One thing is telling you and knowing you won't listen but this," he waved his hand, "this is just too terrifying. I don't want to lose Felicity more than you do, Oliver. Are you sure you don't want to wait for a few more weeks? Or months?"
"Wait for what? For her to die because of some infection she can't fight?" He shook his head. "There's nothing we can do. Even S.T.A.R. labs can't do anything, Caitlin called last night."
He heard Donna sniffled and turned to her. Her cheeks were wet with tears and he felt awful. He didn't want to hurt her. He loved his mother-in-law. He took a breath to say something but Donna gave him a sad smile and quickly left the room.
Oliver sighed. It was even worse than he imagined it would be. If he was honest he didn't really took to consideration what would his decision made with Felicity's mum. He knew he should do it but he didn't and it was too late to take it back now.
"Ollie?" Thea's whisper and her gentle hand on his arm pulled him out from his thoughts.
He turned to her, his eyebrows raised in a silent question.
"When do you want to do it?" his sister asked quietly.
He shrugged. He didn't know. He didn't think about it yet. It was hard enough to wrap his head around the thought of killing his wife that he didn't think about timing. "Why?"
It was Thea's turn to shrug. "Robbie's birthday's in two weeks and I don't want to have it clouded by the death of his mother. I know it won't change anything but this might be the only birthday he'll enjoy even if he doesn't remember it." She took a deep breath and looked Oliver straight into the eyes. "So could you wait with it...let's say...for a month?"
Oliver looked at his smiling innocent son in his arms, surprised. He didn't realize that Robert was going to be one. Sure, he knew that day was coming but he thought he had more time than that. "Of course," he said to Thea with his eyes still on the little boy. It could wait. Or at least he thought so...
Oliver really thought he would be able to wait with killing his wife for at least a month. He hoped he would find enough strength to visit her every day, talk to her, and watch her with the knowledge that the time was limited but he found out that he could do it. He couldn't bring himself to make the suffering longer.
It wasn't only him who suffered. Felicity's mum didn't stop crying since the day he told everybody about his decision. Their friends were devastated.
The only one who didn't suffer was Robbie. The little boy didn't have any idea what was about to happen and he was enjoying the company of the people he loved. It seemed that everybody wanted to be with him when they couldn't cope with the reality anymore.
Oliver signed all the necessary papers two days before Robbie's birthday. He didn't tell anybody because there was always enough time for that.
When they switched the machines keeping Felicity alive off, he sat next to her bed, held her hand and whispered things to calm her – even though she probably couldn't hear him. Maybe it was more to calm himself down.
It was the day of their son's birthday, Felicity was miraculously still alive – in coma but alive – and Oliver came home for the first time since the accident. He promised Thea he would spend the day with Robbie so he did and he enjoyed it. For a few short hours he enjoyed the time with his family. He was even able not to feel guilty that Felicity might die any second and he wouldn't be there for her.
Unfortunately, the good time he had was over too soon. In the early afternoon, just after blowing off the candle on the chocolate birthday cake, the phone rang and Thea went to pick it up. When she came back her face was pale, she looked shocked and there were tears in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" asked Oliver, his body tense.
Thea took a shaky breath. "It was the hospital. Felicity...she's..."
Oliver never heard what Felicity was as he handed his son to Lyla and ran to his car.
He parked the car in front of the hospital less than thirty minutes later. Once inside he didn't wait for the elevator, he took two stairs at a time. He was terrified he would be too late. He didn't want to lose her but he knew this moment would come when he signed the papers. He just didn't think he was prepared to do it – especially on his son's birthday.
"What's going on?" he asked the doctor who just exited his wife's bedroom.
The doctor smiled at him, kindly. "Your wife's awake, Mr. Queen."
Oliver stared at the older man. "What? But how is it even possible? You told me that she's brain dead, that she'll never wake up!" He had to fight the urge to put an arrow into this guy. Deep down he knew it wasn't the doctor's fault but he was beside himself with rage. He did what everybody expected and he put Felicity in danger thanks to that.
The doctor didn't lose his composure. "It happens. It's very rare but it's not impossible. As I told you before, there was almost a zero brain activity so your wife was practically brain dead. But it turns out we were wrong. It's a miracle really because it shouldn't happen. That little of brain activity shouldn't make any difference." He smiled. "Your wife has a pretty strong will."
Oliver had to agree with him. Felicity had probably been the strongest woman he ever known. She fought for him. She believed in him even in the darkest moment when he didn't believe in himself. She was the reason he survived Nanda Parbat and everything after that.
"Is she going to be ok?" he asked with a held breath.
"Yes. There might be some memory loss but it shouldn't be for long. She's weak. She'll have to take it easy and might need some rehabilitation. But as far as I can tell in this moment she's perfectly fine. We'll know more in a few hours after all the necessary tests."
"Can I see her?" Oliver had to see her for himself. It wasn't like he didn't believe the doctor but he knew he wouldn't calm down until he saw Felicity.
"Of course." The doctor reached for the door handle and opened the door for him.
Oliver's world stopped. Felicity had been lying in the hospital bed, her eyes wide opened. She turned her head to the door and smiled, slowly. And Oliver wanted to cry because she was awake and he couldn't think of the moment in his life he was happier. He quickly covered the distance between the door and the bed.
"Hey," he whispered before leaning down and kissing her lightly on her dry lips.
"Hi," she whispered back. Her eyes glistened with tears.
Oliver smiled, fighting his own tears. "I missed you." He was grateful that she woke up and he was even more grateful that it happened on Robbie's first birthday because he couldn't possibly wish for a better present.