It's been four days and he still hasn't heard anything from Mr. Hummel. He couldn't wait any longer he needed to see Kurt. Even if Kurt wasn't up for visitors or just doesn't want to see Blaine he needs to make sure Kurt is alright, that he is at least alive. He still doesn't even know what Kurt was sick with or what kind of surgery he had. He understands that Kurt likes his privacy but he is Kurt's best friend and he should know these things.

It all seemed like a good idea to visit Kurt without Mr. Hummel's permission. Until he actually got to the hospital and the woman behind the reception desk smiled, gave him a pass, and directions to Kurt's room. Now he is standing dumbly in the gift shop trying to pick out a stuffed bear for a gift that equally says get well and please forgive me. He finally decides on the small bear in the yellow hospital gown before heading over to the elevator. He really should have planed out what he would say to Mr. Hummel before heading over here like an idiot. It was too late now the elevator dinged and the doors opened to a quiet floor. There was one family walking to a room with a young girl and a couple of nurses at their stations. Blaine isn't sure why he is suddenly so nervous and unprepared to see Kurt.

When he arrives to room five it's dark and quiet. From the window he can see a shadow of an outline in the bed, Kurt, and in the chair next to him is Mr. Hummel reading a newspaper. Blaine moved to the door and was startled at the speed Mr. Hummel looked up. He gave a quick glance to Kurt before moving to the doorway and motioning Blaine to step out of the room. "I-I … I'm sorry" he stuttered, nerves getting the best of him.

"For what?" Mr. Hummel responded, honestly wondering.

"For coming without your permission I don't mean to disobey or-" Blaine nervously rambled.

"I just wanted to talk out here because Kurt's sleeping. You're allowed to visit him. You got a pass right?" he clarified giving Blaine an odd look.

Blaine nodded "I just-I was"

"It's okay. You were worried. It's nice to know that he has friends who are worried about him. I'm sorry for not contacting you like I promised." "He was moved out of the ICU just yesterday and he hasn't really been awake longer than ten or fifteen minutes now."

"Is he okay? Can I see him?" Blaine asked quickly and hopeful.

"He's tired and needs his rest but I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing another face besides mine or the doctors. But I need to warn you Blaine." He paused glancing in the dark window, "He doesn't look good. The surgery was successful but it was major and he is still recovering. He is hooked up to a lot of machines and stuff. He has some major stitches. It's going to be hard to see him like this."

"I can handle it" Blaine rushed out not fully thinking it all through.

"Okay. Try not to wake him. I will be right down the hall making a phone call."

"Thank you."

Blaine slowly, carefully walked into the dark room, where the only light was coming from one of the monitors. Oh was Mr. Hummel right. In no way was he prepared to see Kurt like this. There were so many more wires and tubes than Blaine had first imagined and peeking above Kurt's thin white hospital gown was a painful looking set of stitches that would leave a decent scar. Blaine unconsciously touched his own chest before tearing his eyes away from the thick black lines that stood out on Kurt's pale skin. Blaine was almost convinced he had the wrong room, this person looked nothing like the Kurt he knew. This Kurt was small, thin, his skin wasn't glowing like it normally did, and his hair wasn't perfectly styled but hung limply in his eyes. Blaine reached out a trembling hand to push Kurt's hair out of his eyes, but froze before actually touching Kurt. He slowly took a seat in the chair Mr. Hummel was seated in, holding onto the stuffed bear rather than Kurt.

Ever since Blaine had found out Kurt had liked him or loved him or whatever he couldn't stop overthinking every interaction with Kurt, wondering where signs were that he had so obliviously missed. Blaine had always been attracted to Kurt. It was obvious that Kurt was a very attractive guy but Blaine was still confused if that meant he liked Kurt or not. Kurt was-, is-, Kurt is something very special to Blaine. Blaine never had a best friend before. Their friendship meant having the world to Blaine. That is why he cherished and valued Kurt and his relationship with Kurt so much.

Blaine wasn't sure if he should talk or not. Not that he even knows what to say. So he sings, never raising his voice above a low soft whisper the hum and beeping of the machines as his only background music. He hopes it will soothe Kurt rather than disturb him.

There are places I remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

As he finishes the last line he can feel a prickle of tears in his eyes and he longingly wants to reach and hold Kurt's hand as further reassurance that he is still here and, according to Mr. Hummel, will be okay with time.

He feels a silent buzz from his pocket and takes a quick glance, feeling kind of thankful for the distraction. However, as soon as he see's Jeremiah's name he immediately hits the red "ignore" button. He doesn't really feel like talking to him right now, and as desperately as he wants to be mad at him and blame him for the entire thing Blaine can't quite do that. That doesn't mean Blaine hasn't ignored Jeremiah all week because he has, though he isn't positive why. He just knows that ever since he found out Kurt has a crush on him he hasn't felt a pull towards Jeremiah anymore.

He begins to slowly reach out to hold Kurt's hand when there is a soft knock on the door and he immediately retracts.

"Blaine," Mr. Hummel addresses extremely softly for a man with such a gruff voice. "I'm sorry to cut you visit short, but the Nurse needs to check on Kurt and uh … clean him up."

Blaine knows there are more to those words of what the nurse needs to do, but he also figures he doesn't really want to know all the details that involves.

"I understand."

"If you want to wait out in the lounge until she is finished you can." Mr. Hummel offers.

"Thank you but I should probably be reporting back to the other guys, I left them wondering if Kurt is okay." It isn't a total lie. The Warblers had asked him to tell them everything he could. Blaine just conveniently left out the part where he was the most worried about Kurt.

"Thank you for coming today. I'm sure Kurt would have appreciated it. I'm sorry he didn't wake up to at least say a quick Hi," he apologies as he starts to walk Blaine out. Blaine pauses and pats Kurt's hand softly as a goodbye.

"It's okay-" 'It's not like I would have known what to say anyway' he adds the last part silently in his head before asking "Would it be alright if I stopped by tomorrow?"

"As long as your parents don't mind I'm sure Kurt would love your company."

"Thank you Mr. Hummel."

On his way Blaine places the stuffed bear on the far table out of the way of the nurse and Kurt's wires and machines.

Blaine begins to feel drained on his ride home. He hasn't felt this emotionally drained since after his attack. When he gets home and sees Jeremiah waiting for him in his car all the energy he had left leaves him immediately. He is in no way ready for this.

"Where have you been? I've been texting and calling you for days now." Jeremiah began his attack the second Blaine met him over by his car.

"I'm sorry." Blaine said defeated and tired, he really didn't have a good reason or excuse.

"You've ignored me for days and all you have to say is 'I'm sorry'" Jeremiah answered almost shocked. And yeah Blaine probably deserves whatever he is ready to dish out. "What did baby-face Kirk convince you it's okay to ditch me? I thought you two were fighting anyway, did he really come crawling back begging for your attention that quickly?" Jeremiah laughed, ready to forget Blaine ignoring him rather quickly.

This caught Blaine attention, Blaine was ready to be fought with and yelled at but going after to Kurt is not okay. "His name is Kurt and you know nothing," he warned.

"What did someone die or something?" Jeremiah asked attempting to laugh it off and dismiss Blaine. Blaine had to fight the tears in his eyes as the thought of almost crept into his mind.

"Kurt is really sick and he's in the hospital." Blaine wasn't sure why he didn't just explain that from the beginning, but now that it's out there all he wants is someone to comfort him. From experience with venting to Jeremiah about his fight with Kurt he knows he won't get that from him.

"Alright fine. I'm sorry." Jeremiah apologized in a huff. "Let's just forget everything and go catch a drive in." He casually suggested turning back to his car. Blaine was frozen with no idea what was even happening. Suddenly all he could see was everything Kurt was saying to him, how Jeremiah never takes on dates and tries to avoid being seen with Blaine in public places.

"Why haven't I met your friends or family? Why haven't we been on one date?" Blaine finally asked the questions he feared the answers most to.

"Blaine-"

"No I feel like I've been stupid and blind. You don't see me as your boyfriend do you?" Blaine wasn't angry and it was less of question and more like a spoken realization.

"I'm sorry if I have mislead you in anyway. I'm not out like you Blaine. I'm glad you can be out and proud but I'm not ready for that yet. I like having fun with you." He explained honestly.

It scared Blaine a little bit that this wasn't turning into a fight and that he wasn't more heartbroken over the whole thing. He was blindly head over heels for Jeremiah and now it's all shattered but he doesn't feel much pain from it. He's upset but he doesn't feel like his world crashed like when he found out Kurt was in the hospital. "I guess we are looking for two different things then."

"I'm sorry this didn't work out like you wanted Blaine. Good luck with your friend."

It stung a little bit that Jeremiah took everything, including Kurt being ill, so casually. Maybe Kurt was right and Blaine didn't know what love was. He was obviously blind to the kind of person Jeremiah is, not that he really even knew a lot about Jeremiah; just more stupidity on Blaine's part.

AN: This update was not worth the wait. I am very sorry. The song is not mine, but one of my favorites. It took forever to figure out what Blaine would sing. Thanks for the favs, follows, and reviews. You are all wonderful and beautiful.