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Prompt: Request from Brenne - Roy finds out about Ed's guilty pleasure. Children's radio programs. (Special Guest Star: Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes)

Warning: I think we've caught on by now.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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"Hey, Ed! Hop in!" Lieutenant Colonel Hughes called out his car window.

Ed, who had been walking the long distance to the office from the hotel, looked up with a huge smile and jogged over to the car. He pulled the front door open and climbed in. "Thanks, Lieutenant Colonel."

"Anytime, Ed. No sense in you walking when I was passing by and we're both going to the same place," Hughes grinned, then gave Edward a look. "Ed…"

"Yes?" he asked innocently snapping his seat belt buckle shut.

"Get in the back, Ed." Hughes ordered, ruffling the blond hair and messing up the braid a bit.

"But it's just a ten minute drive!" Ed tried to reason. "Just this once?" He gave the man the best puppy eyes he could muster, which were quite impressive and would've worked on the stoniest of hearts.

Maes Hughes did not have a heart of stone however. He had a heart of gold. (And possibly a heart of that stuffing they put into teddy bears.) He was a family man through and through with a soft spot for kids. Unfortunately for Edward, that soft spot did not extend to matters of safety. The man simply could not justify taking the chance that something may happen, so he gave the boy an apologetic grin. "Sorry, Ed. Not happening. Now, go on and climb back."

Groaning after his failure, Ed unclacked the seat buckle and clambered over the front seat and flopped into the back. "It's just ten minutes," he grumbled as soon as he was buckled and crossed his arms in discontent.

Hughes looked at him in the rear view mirror to check that Ed was secured, then he pulled away from the curb. "A lot can happen in ten minutes, Ed. Do you know how many traffic accidents I've investigated? Almost all of them were split second indecision by one or more drivers. And while I want to believe I am an attentive and safe driver, I just can't risk it because I know there are other drivers who maybe shouldn't be out on the street. Understand? In a couple years, I'll let you sit up here, but until then, you're stuck in the back. It's safer." He saw Ed's face fall forlornly, and Maes instantly felt for the boy. His face softened, but there was nothing that could make him change his decision.

They settled into an uncomfortable silence, so he turned the volume knob on the radio until he felt a click and sound started echoing into the car.

"...and today we are just beginning to see the effect that the collapse had on-"

He grimaced and twisted the tuning knob to the left, and settled between two smaller lines all the way near the lower end of the spectrum. He couldn't help but smile when this station settled.

"...darkness surrounded him and his uneasiness from before had transformed into anxiety. His heart raced, he could feel the small organ beating up against his ribcage, trying to escape. An intense fear claimed him when the secret entrance he'd just come though, opened again.

" 'Who could that possibly be?' thought Nidah'la. He'd come to this cavern alone. The only other person who even knew he was here was…His eyes grew wide and he quickly ran and hid behind a giant, ruby red chest. The passage opened for the second time that night and a long shadow cast across the dirt floor. Clacking footsteps traveled closer to him. The sound could only have been that of a palace guard, or the imperial magistrate. Nobody else in the kingdom could afford such sturdy shoes…"

"What's this?" Ed piped up suddenly from the back seat.

Hughes looked at him in the mirror again. "Oh, this is just the ch-" he stopped mid-sentence and cleared his throat. "It's just a station where they read books and tell stories." He was not about to reveal to Ed that this was actually a station aimed at children. He'd majorly offend the young alchemist. "It's better than the news. That stuff is just depressing. Everyday it's always natural disasters, riots, politics...It's work. I save work for work. So this is usually what I listen to. I found it when Gracia was still pregnant and started falling asleep on me during long drives. Do you like it?" Hughes asked, genuinely curious.

Ed gave his head a thoughtful tilt to one side. "It's...interesting. How long does it take them to read the books? Is it always the same story?"

Hughes was pleased that Ed seemed to enjoy something that was actually intended for him. He wasted no time in answering the boy's question. "It depends on how long the story is. Some of the stories are shorter than others and they only last about half an hour to an hour. Others like this one, are segmented over a couple weeks. I actually really enjoy this one in particular. It's an older tale than what they normally air, but it's one of the more adventurous that I've heard over the past year. It's called Nidah'la: Diamond in the Dust. I think it's the first story of three. And those three stories are part of a larger collection of stories." He explained, hoping to hook the boy into listening. "If you can find a radio, every week it's on in the morning and repeats in the evening at 7 o'clock. Station 540. But that's just this story. They play others throughout the day as well. All kinds of fun stuff."

Ed nodded. "I might have to check it out. I think Al would like them too."

Hughes smiled. "I don't doubt it, Ed."

They continued to listen to the story of Nidah'la the rest of the way to work, but Edward would have to try and listen to the second airing later that night. Ten minutes wasn't enough to get the whole story, and he found that in that small amount of time, he'd actually gotten quite attached to the young hero.

Two weeks later...

"Ugh! This is so boring! Is this what you guys do all day?" Ed complained from one of the couches. He would've been researching, but the library was closed for inventory and Mustang said he needed to maintain accountability or something.

"Yes. It's called work, Fullmetal. It's not supposed to be entertaining." Colonel Mustang looked up from his paperwork. "Get your feet off the couch, Fullmetal. Why don't you go find a book or something," he suggested with an idle wave of his hand as he went back to his task of signing the neverending pile of work orders and reports.

"There's nothing interesting here. Besides, I'm pretty sure I've read all the alchemy books you could possibly have in this room," Ed said arrogantly.

Mustang raised his eyebrow and smirked. "I highly doubt that, Fullmetal. Some of these are from my personal collection."

That piqued Ed's interest, so he sat up and leaned towards his superior. "Oh, yeah? I didn't know you read books Mustang. Here I thought all you ever had time for was reading stupid reports and giving me dead-end missions."

Mustang rolled his eyes at the paper in front of his face. "Well you were mistaken, Fullmetal. I have plenty of time to assign you dead-end missions, read reports, and keep up with alchemic studies."

Clearly, Ed would have to be more straight-forward. "Can I see one then?"

"What was that?" Mustang hadn't been listening. He was busy reading 'stupid reports.'

Ed bristled. "I said, can I see one? One of your books?"

"Oh, sure. There over there," Mustang pointed to a tall bookshelf in the corner of the room. "Top shelf."

Ed walked over and looked up. A vein in his forehead pulsed irritably. I can't reach that, he admitted to himself silently. He turned to look at the man behind the desk.

Roy was smirking, but made no comment about the short alchemist's inability to reach the books. He also made no move to help. "What's wrong, Fullmetal? I thought you wanted to read them?"

Ed huffed. "You know what? I decided I don't want to read them after all. They're probably stuff me and Al already read anyway. I'm leaving."

"If you mean leaving as in going to the outer office, fine. Stay there though. You're not dismissed until five."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, Whatever." He slammed the door to the office on his way out.

"What's up, chief?" Second Lieutenant Havoc greeted from his desk. "Boss send you out here to help?"

"No," Ed glared back at the door. "I got tired of looking at his smug face."

"Well, do you want to help me file these?" the blue-eyed man offered. "It won't take long." Ed gave him a look that said, I don't actually want to do work. "If you help, I'll drive you to the diner for lunch," Havoc said in an attempt to persuade the kid to help him. Ed looked like he was considering it so he went in for the kill and sang out, "I'll buy~~."

A large grin spread across the twelve year old's face. "Okay. But you better not regret your offer."

"Deal, Ed."

They worked through the rest of the documents and case files until a little past noon, then walked out to the car along with Second Lieutenant Breda. The larger man got into the passenger seat and Ed filed into the back. They drove in a relative silence for the first few minutes, then Ed spoke up. "Hey, can we listen to the radio?"

Havoc looked up. "Huh? Oh sure. Which station?"

"Station 540?" Ed requested.

Breda's eyebrows raised and he exchanged a stunned look with Havoc. Breda had three younger siblings, two of which were close enough to Ed's age. So he was familiar with the station, he just didn't expect that Edward would be interested in it. He decided not to comment and turned the radio on, tuning it the children's station.

"...blonde hair whipped past her face as she fell faster and faster seemingly to the center of the world. Elise felt as though she had been falling for hours now, and while it had been terrifying at first, she had grown quite used to it. So used to it in fact, that she decided perhaps a nap would not be a terrible idea. It was better than waiting for the falling to stop. She'd grown weary of watching dirt and roots and the occasional lamp or book fly past her. So far, nothing had gotten close enough to harm her, so she closed her eyes.

"The moment she closed them however, her stomach lurched near up to her heart and her eyes shot back open in a flash, revealing large blue orbs. She peered below her to see solid ground. 'I'm going to be a pancake!' she thought fearfully. She tried to scramble and grab the wall around her, but no matter what she did, she was unable to get closer.

"Finally, Elise accepted her fate as a future pancake. The ground was almost upon her, and how she wished she had listened to her sister. Maybe if she had, she wouldn't be in this predicament. She closed her eyes and waited for the bottom of the pit to consume her.

"Instead of a horrible death, which she had been expecting, Elise opened her eyes with a confused frown. She had touched down softly and was now laying on plush rug-"

Havoc shut the car off.

"Why did you-?" Ed started, appalled that Havoc would shut the car off without warning him first.

"Sorry, Ed. We're at the diner. We only have an hour so we have to hurry. Come on."

"Oh." Ed forgot they had actually come out with the purpose of getting food. "Right. You're still buying, right?" he asked, jumping out of the car and slamming the door shut as the trio walked into the small establishment.

"I said I would, didn't I?" Havoc smiled, clapping the boy on the shoulder.

"Aw, thanks, buddy," Breda laughed.

Havoc sent him a glare. "I didn't promise you shit, Breda. You can get your own lunch. Maybe next time you'll help me with the filing instead of claiming your assistance is 'needed elsewhere'. Second Lieutenant Weiss was perfectly capable of carrying a few boxes down to the cage by herself. Damn liar."

"Still worth it. And fine. I'll buy my own lunch. You're just jealous she asked me and not you."

Ed ignored his comrades and opened the door to the diner. Wondering what would become of Elise. How did she start falling? Why was she in the center of the world? How did she not turn into mush? He had questions dammit! Unfortunately he wouldn't be able to get them answered anytime soon. According to Hughes, they didn't repeat afternoon readings. He'd just have to see if he could get Al to find this story in the public library.

Another week later…

Second Lieutenant Havoc pulled the car around front and waited for Edward and the Colonel to come out of the main building.

He saw a flash of bright red and gold running his way through the rain. The blond threw open the front door and climbed in.

Havoc gave him questioning look.

"Oh, come on, we're just going down the road a few minutes. It's not even that far. Please?" He flashed puppy eyes and a pout at the blue-eyed man.

Havoc opened his mouth to say no, but ended up sighing in defeat. "Okay, but if the boss says to get in the back you have to get in the back."

"Fine."

He turned the radio on and switched it to 540.

"...the young man was prepared to duel to the death. The three men standing in front of him seemed like seasoned warriors of the sword, and he was probably far beneath them in terms of abilities and experience. No, not probably, that was a definite truth. He had never experienced battle, and had only ever gotten into petty duels with the oafs in his home town.

"Still these man had insulted not only his intelligence but also his lifelong dream. How dare they tell him the royal guard was disbanded! Why, even with the legendary guard disbanded, he swore to the three men, 'I don't care if you say it's impossible! I shall become one of the King's own, yet. Even if I have to create a new guard from scratch!'..."

Havoc smiled seeing Ed fall into the story. He'd gotten into the habit of tuning to the station automatically every time the boy got in the car now. He'd driven Ed home almost every day for the past week because of the seasonal nonstop rain. Today was only different because he had to drive the Colonel as well since the man had gotten a flat the previous evening. Speaking of…

The raven-haired man was strolling up to the car, umbrella in hand, shielding him from getting his upper half wet. Mustang pulled on the front door and glared through the window at Ed. Unfortunately, Ed was in a far off land and not paying enough attention to notice. He grimaced and sent a dirty look to Havoc, who shrugged. Then he opened the back and slid in.

"Why is he in the front, Second Lieutenant Havoc?" he asked accusingly.

"I tried to say, no, boss," Havoc defended. "I swear, but he did that thing with his eyes. He just looked so pitiful and I couldn't do it. I said he had to go back though, if you said to."

"Alright," Mustang nodded. "Edward. Get in the back," he ordered, leaving no room for discussion.

Edward didn't respond so Havoc turned the volume on the radio down and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, chief," he gestured to the back. Ed turned around.

"Huh?"

"Get back here. You're not sitting in the front." Mustang said sternly.

"But-"

"No."

Ed let his head drop forward. He had been so close.

"Hurry up. The rain is supposed to get worse."

"Okay, okay. I'm moving." He scrambled over the seat and dropped unceremoniously into the back, accidentally kicking the Colonel in the face in the process.

"Ow! Fullmetal! Hurry up and sit down, dammit!" Mustang fumed, rubbing his cheek. "You shouldn't even be in the front in the first place."

"It was worth a shot," Ed shrugged easily, not seeming to care that he'd just assaulted his commanding officer.

Not really wanting to listen to the two bicker, Havoc turned the radio back up and pulled away from the curb.

"... guards dressed in all red surrounded the three men and the young dreamer. One of the men looked to his companions and the three men seemed to reach an agreement. 'It would seem our duel is at an end, lad. What say you to joining us in a rumble with these pompous servants of the chancellor?'

"The youth looked between the three of them, momentarily suspicious, then he nodded. 'It would be my pleasure, gentlemen. My name is L'Acharnement. What may I call you, three?..."

Mustang frowned. "Lieutenant? Why are we listening to the ch-" he stopped talking when their driver coughed. He looked up and noticed the purposeful gaze locking eyes with him in the rear view mirror. Havoc's eyes flicked to the side. Mustang got the message.

He looked to Ed sitting next to him. The kid looked deep in thought, elbow rested on the window sill and chin resting on his gloved automail hand. That didn't really look comfortable, but Ed didn't seem to care. He was far away right now, and he looked content to just sit and listen. Not something he was well known for.

Mustang covered a surprised chuckle with a cough and made eye contact with their chauffeur, letting the dirty-blond know that he got it. He wouldn't say anything. Not today anyway.

He looked out the opposite window and smiled. He never would have guessed that Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, would willingly listen to a children's radio program. He glanced back at Ed, trying to figure out why Edward would even let them know he liked this station. The kid was so damn determined to be an adult afterall. It just didn't make any sense.

Then it hit him.

He doesn't know it's a station for kids.

He couldn't help his his mouth from pulling up toward one side. There was only one person alive who could have tricked Ed into listening to children's stories and not garner any suspicion.

This was the work of Maes Hughes. There was no doubt about it. Next time they went out, he'd have to ask the man how he had done it.

Mustang breathed easy, content to just sit and listen along with the boy. This was one of his favorite stories from his childhood afterall. Maybe it could become one of Edward's as well.

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A/N: I won't lie. I had no idea what Children's Radio Programs actually entailed, so I decided that if I'd make it up. I thought about it and was like, if I was a kid, I would want them to tell me stories. Like back in the day for long car rides, me and my dad used to listen to Artemis Fowl. Great audio books. Really hope they actually do come out with a movie. That would be boss.

Anywho, the request inspired this little diddy the moment I read it since I was able to make it fit my theme. It's not my desire to take requests, but I cannot stop you. I hope this didn't end up too horrible. I've been sitting on this guy for a while trying to think up a better way to end it, but I'm calling it and I must now move on.

If you enjoyed, please drop a review. If you did not enjoy it, you're free to drop a review as well. If you want to tell me which three real-life stories I used and tweaked, drop it in a review. Thanks for reading! Elle, oh Elle.

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