When Kurt wakes up his throat hurts. That's what reminds him that even when things begin to look brighter nothing can go right for Kurt. For a second he thinks he will cry again but as his breath hitches he feels a pair of arms tighten around him. At first he pauses letting his mind catch up. He carefully looks next to him and there is Blaine clung to him like a koala bear. Kurt never imagined he would be the type of person who enjoyed cuddling in sleep, but nothing has ever felt so right before. And maybe he is a little over heated, but all he feels is wanted, needed, and protected. He knows it feels right, like this is where he is supposed to be forever.
Kurt lets himself relax into Blaine's arms for another moment before reminding himself that it isn't real. He reminds himself that Blaine doesn't actually love him, and that Blaine is only a little extra clingy than usual because he feels guilty about Kurt being in the hospital, even though it isn't even his fault. Kurt needs to be smart about how he removes himself from Blaine's four limbs, because as much as he wants to stay there forever he knows he can't, that even though it feels right it isn't right. So he carefully removes himself from Blaine's limbs, replacing his body with a pillow, and pretends the whole thing never happened.
After his morning shower routine and getting dressed, he began to moisturize and tone his face, but pauses with the vitamin e oil in his hand, staring at the scar on his chest. He has been so caught up in trying to get back to his normal life he never really thought about the surgery. There was something inside him that wasn't actually a part of him. It's synthetic. It's fake. Kurt was anything but fake, he did everything he could to be his true self and now part of him, part of his heart wasn't real, wasn't human.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked, sleep still heavy in his voice, pulling Kurt away from his thoughts.
"I'm okay, just trying to reduce the scar as much as possible. I didn't mean to wake you." He apologized, forcing a reassuring smile on his face.
"You didn't, I'm glad you're feeling better. Sorry if I was a bed hog last night."
"No-no, you were fine."
"Okay"
It was awkward, why was it awkward? Kurt forced his eyes away from the awkward staring contest they were unintentionally having. He cleared his throat as he buttoned up his loose grey shirt the rest of the way, and tucking in his scarf.
"I'm just going to head down stairs and let you get ready-" Kurt rushed out walking towards the door, forcing his mind not to think about how cute Blaine looked when he first woke up, or how he sounded or that he would be getting undressed in his room.
"Okay, Kurt are you sure you're-" Blaine started but was cut off by Kurt again.
"And don't worry about making the bed. I'll get it once you're dressed." He said with finality rushing out of the room and down the stairs.
He hears the rest of his family in the kitchen, specifically his dad mumbling to Carol, probably still half asleep, and Carol humming in response. When he enters the kitchen they both wish a good morning one brighter than the other, but both meaning well.
"How are you feeling?" Carol asks not taking too much attention away from the stove.
"I'm feeling well, thank you." He responds grabbing both his medicine and his dad's before beginning to set the table for breakfast. It wasn't their usual morning routine, but Carol wanted the whole family to eat healthy together, so meals became more of a family time than they used to be. He only just got to setting the plates when Blaine came down looking like perfection, not a single hair out of place. Kurt doesn't even realize that he stopped midway to stare at Blaine until his dad grinned and nudged him.
"You alright with that plate, Kurt?" He smirked.
"Huh?" Kurt responded before breaking out of his trance, "Oh I'm fine dad."
Without hesitation Blaine took some of the plates from Kurt's stack to set the other half of the table, while wishing everyone a good morning.
"Did you sleep well, Blaine?" his dad asked politely, giving Kurt a knowing look the whole time. Kurt just wished his dad would knock it off. Even if Blaine is completely oblivious it's impossible not to notice the look his dad has on his face.
"Very well, thank you for asking" Blaine smiled brightly and the light must have been going dim in here because for a moment he could have sworn he thought he saw a light blush creep onto Blaine's cheeks, but he must have been mistaken.
"I know it's probably not the most delicious breakfast I've made, but the scrambled egg whites, whole grain toast with almond butter and bananas will be ready shortly," Carol stated breaking Kurt from another trance he was stuck in, "we're trying to all become a little healthier."
"It sounds wonderful, thank you for making breakfast." Blaine responded still being polite as ever, "my family doesn't really eat meals together … it's nice that you make time for each other."
It was quiet, Carol giving a look like she found a lost baby animal that needed some love and his dad was trying to telepathically speak to Kurt. Kurt never heard much about Blaine's family; just that Blaine knew they loved him and that was really all there was to say. It seems like everyone is too busy to make the time for each other. He wondered if it made Blaine feel alone the same way Kurt felt at his old school.
"Well Blaine there will always be a place at the table for you here" his dad promised as Carol pulled out a seat for emphasis. Blaine sat down with a bashful smile and Kurt took the seat beside him giving his hand a squeeze. There was still so much he needed to learn about Blaine Anderson.
Before the moment could last any longer he heard Finn run down the stairs, making it just in time for breakfast, as usual. Carol rolled her eyes and mumbled something about heavy feet under her breath, placing a plate of egg whites with spinach and tomato's and whole wheat toast on the table, grabbing the almond butter and sliced banana before taking her seat.
"Good morning Finn you know where you cereal is," Carol said acknowledging Finn's presence, her tone making it obviously that she was not only knew about Finn's actions last night, but she was not pleased with them either.
"Finn decided that honey nut cheerios are just as heart healthy, but the commercial promises it." Kurt explained to Blaine so he wouldn't feel left out.
"Actually I think I'll just grab a plate of what you're having, if that's okay?" Finn sheepishly asked.
Kurt studied Finn as Carol handed him a plate with scrambled egg whites. No actual words were spoken, but Kurt knew that Finn must have felt guilty for last night and this was a good enough apology for Kurt.
"So Blaine, what's the plan for today?" Kurt asked after taking a sip of his orange juice.
"Nice try Kurt, but I already told you it's a surprise." Blaine said giving Kurt a side smile and a nudge.
"I'm sure my father would like to know where I will be" Kurt bantered.
"Just have him back by curfew Blaine, and make sure he sticks to the doctors orders." Burt instructed.
"I would never put Kurt in any harm, and I will be sure to have him home in time for dinner." Blaine reassured.
After breakfast Blaine and Kurt had tried to clean the dishes since Carol cooked, but she insisted they get started on their day. It didn't take too much of a push for Kurt to leave the house given it would be first time he went out other than to various doctors' appointments.
Kurt had blushed when Blaine had open the car door him and smiled graciously when Blaine let him have control of the music. Kurt soon figured out that they were going to Dalton, which should not have been much of a shock since he knew the route well enough by now.
"Why are we going to Dalton, Blaine?" Kurt asked suspiciously.
"Okay, it wasn't the original plan, but after you fell asleep last night The Warblers started texting me and they really wanted to surprise you." Blaine explained sounding a little off.
"I don't know Blaine-"
"Please Kurt, they are really excited about this," Blaine pleaded pouting his lips a little.
It really wasn't fair that he looked that cute. "How did they get into Dalton on a weekend anyway?"
"I already told you when we first met" Blaine smiled bright, and it really wasn't fair that Blaine could be so good-looking and cute at the same time.
Kurt just eyed him curiously instead of responding. Blaine took a quick glance when Kurt didn't say anything and quickly returned his eyes to the road.
"The Warblers are rock stars, remember?" Blaine answered with a wink.
"How could I forget?" Kurt answered breathlessly, remembering that day still filled Kurt's stomach with butterflies.
Blaine quickly looked at Kurt, concern filling his face. "You okay? I'm not pushing you too much am I?"
"No, Blaine. I'm just really glad I met you." Kurt honestly said, giving Blaine a reassuring smile.
"I'm really glad I met you too, Kurt." Blaine smiled back, pulling into the parking lot.
He parked the car before giving Kurt what was probably supposed to be a very serious expression. "Kurt, please try to act surprised."
"You offend me, doubting my acting skills?" Kurt said with mock shock making Blaine chuckle lightly and hold his hands up in surrender.
Blaine once again opened Kurt's door for him and offered his arm as an escort … a friend, Kurt reminded himself. Just entering Dalton somehow made Kurt relax and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Even though Kurt didn't suffer from bullying anymore he still felt comforted, protected, and safe in the building. The halls themselves gave Kurt reassurance and ease.
"Let me know if I'm walking too fast" Blaine requested, not letting go of Kurt for some reason that Kurt refused to read into.
"No, your pace is fine." Kurt smiled, he didn't like people fussing and worrying about him, but the fact that Blaine cared made him feel good.
"It's weird being here when no one else is" Kurt whispered loudly.
"You don't have to whisper," Blaine laughed.
Kurt simply shrugged in response. "I didn't think I would miss this place as much as I do."
"No?" Blaine asked in a tone Kurt couldn't quite place.
"As awesome as this place is, it just never felt like home to me. I always feel a couple steps behind everyone else here." Kurt paused taking a glance at Blaine's expression, Kurt didn't mean to offend or hurt Blaine. "But, being here reminds me on everything I'm missing."
"Well, trust me these halls miss you too. According to Nick your locker neighbors have been spraying hairspray just for the smell, since you're not there to do it yourself." Blaine teased lightly.
"I don't use that much hairspray," Kurt mumbled, but still felt himself snort a small laugh at the thought.
"Kurt" Blaine answered knowingly.
"Yeah well you're one to talk," Kurt retorted.
Blaine simply nudged him when he pouts, causing him to laugh lightly.
They are outside of the choir room when Blaine comes to a halt, turning and giving Kurt a serious expression. "Remember," he whispers in a tone that sounds similar to the one his father uses before handing Kurt the credit card.
"Just worry about your own acting skills" Kurt whispers back.
Kurt is honestly surprised when the room inside is empty and Blaine had disappeared when he entered. He took a calming breath reminding himself where he was and that Blaine would never prank him this way. It wasn't long before Kurt distant voices singing softly. Kurt should have known Blaine was a part of this, maybe even planed it.
They entered the opposite side of the choir room, nothing grand just walking in and parting, letting Blaine take his usual spot as the lead.
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Kurt should feel flattered they are dedicating a song to him, but it felt like pity. They were only doing this because of how the New Directions treated and hadn't sung to him like they probably assumed, like Blaine had asked earlier.
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Honestly, Blaine was stunning as the lead. He always is. His voice did things to Kurt that just shouldn't be possible. And no matter how beautiful he sounded Kurt felt pained. Pity was not something he ever wanted and Blaine never pitied him, always empathized and sympathized but never pitied and now he and the others pitied him through song.
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Kurt pushed down the lump in his throat and begged that he wouldn't start crying suddenly feeling embarrassed and exposed. He tried to focus on the emotion Blaine was putting into the lyrics and the passion the others held backing him up. They mean well, they think it's right thing to do. They are trying to make him feel better and maybe this wasn't Blaine's ides. Maybe he was just going along with it for The Warblers who wanted to do something.
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
It didn't matter what he reminded himself. They are making him feel the same way the girls in his old glee club made him feel when they dedicated religious songs to his dad. It was out of good intention, but it wasn't wanted and only made him more upset.
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Kurt couldn't freak out this time. He could not lose these friends too. He just needed to be appreciative. He forced a smile on his face as his eyes watered a little. They would at least believe that was moved by the song. When the song is done he will thank them all and then make an excuse for Blaine to take him home. He just hoped Blaine wouldn't read through him and confront him about it.
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go?
So why don't we go?
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Kurt took a deep breath to calm himself and gave Blaine a hug allowing him to hug back and the others to place reassuring hands on his shoulders. He thanked them in a small wet voice. They wished him well and they were quickly gone confirming his suspicion of doing this out of pity.
"So what did you think?" Blaine hesitantly asked when everyone was gone.
"Can you please take me home?" Kurt decided to ask rather than respond.
"Why? What's wrong?" Blaine worried his eyes moving to Kurt's chest and then back to his face.
"I'm tired" Kurt lied his voice getting smaller.
"Oh um sure, I was really hoping I could talk to you about something though. Could we do that first?" Blaine hesitantly took Kurt's hands asking for permission.
Kurt just wanted to go home and be alone. He let out a breath before nodding.
"Thank you … um let's go find somewhere where we can both sit down." Blaine said leading him into one of the study halls, pulling out his chair for him.
When Blaine sat down Kurt did everything he could to give Blaine his full attention. Maybe he was upset about the performance, but he should hear Blaine out. Blaine's been a good friend through the recovery process; he's been patient and understanding. Listening is the least Kurt could do.
"I know it's not the best timing for this, especially with the whole Jeremiah incident not too long ago-"
"Blaine I already forgave you for-"
"Please let me just say this before I lose my nerve?" Blaine pleaded.
Kurt nodded, now a little worried about where the conversation was going.
"Without you in school I realized how much I miss you when you're not around and how much I love having you near me when you are. When you were in the hospital it was like a wake up call and suddenly the rest of me caught up to what part of me already knew from the very beginning. And I'm selfishly glad that because of it I will get to spend another year with you here … with me?" Blaine finished unsure, biting his lip nervously but not taking his eyes away from Kurt.
Kurt was frozen. Was Blaine saying what he thought he was say? It wasn't fair. Blaine only liked him now because he felt guilty for putting Kurt in the hospital. His heart pounded as Blaine leaned in closer. Kurt would normally want nothing more than for Blaine to kiss him, it would normally be a dream come true. But it shouldn't be happening this way. It would be over soon. It wouldn't be healthy. So Kurt pulled away, looking down to avoid Blaine's hurt expression.
"Please just take me home" he requested again.
"Kurt I-" He started, voice a little strained.
"I want to go home" Kurt said, his voice firmer this time even though he was fighting tears.
I'm so sorry!
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Just a couple more chapters to go.