I wasn't allowed to be at the negotiation on Yahiko's orders. While he didn't suspect anything unsavory, it was agreed upon by the my former students that, in the case that something did take place, a battlefield was no place for a woman that was almost to term. As a result, I was left back at that little wooden house once more with my usual entourage- Shinai, Zaku, and Kagona.

"Sit down, Suki-san," Shinai ordered, her voice deceptively polite. I resisted the urge to growl.

"I'm thirsty." And I was. I'd been on week-long hunts tracking bastards through the Kami-forsaken deserts of Kaze no Kuni and I still couldn't recall a time in which I'd been so parched.

"Geez. The little sucker's bleeding you dry, Uzu-oba," Kagona smirked. The smirk slipped very quickly off of her face when Shinai turned to look at her, that unnervingly polite smile never moving off of her delicate features.

"Zaku-san, please retrieve a glass of water for Suki-san," Shinai enunciated carefully. Zaku didn't dare complain or whine as he would have had anyone else issued the order. For the tyrant of a medic nin that was assigned to me, he simply straightened up in a mock salute before marching out towards the kitchen. I could have sworn I saw the relief on his face as he ducked out into the hall as he was free from Shinai for even a few minutes.

"Kagona-san, could you-" Shinai's voice cut off abruptly and she leapt to her feet. It was clear why; a desperate flair of chakra echoed towards them from the distance. "The meeting!"

I was on my feet, grabbing my weapons and preparing to race to my students, but my path was barred. Shinai stood in the doorway, arms flung out as if I would attempt to duck under her. If her arms had been down, I might have. Zaku was back in a second, his rough hands surprisingly gently on my shoulders as Kagona carefully gripped my tanto, pulling it away from me.

"You are in no condition for battle, Suki-san," the medic said, her usually cool tone surprisingly sharp with command. "Yahiko-sama and the others are strong. They shall be fine. Now please, return to your seat. Kagona-san and Zaku-san shall ensure that we are safe here. Your priority and mine is the safety of the little one."

I was suddenly reminded of how dry my mouth was as a rush of panic flitted through my mind. The baby. Would I really have gone onto the battle? What would happen if I did? Or, just as terrifying, what will happen if I don't?

I knew the Ame orphans as well as any and better than most. They were strong. Jiraiya and I had made them strong. They weren't just soldiers though; they were family. I had already lost Jiraiya in too many ways- I didn't think I could handle losing any more of my family.

"Zaku," I begged, looking to the man. He looked at me with a degree of seriousness that was odd to the ever-smiling man. "Please."

After a long moment, he exchanged a glance with Kagona, who nodded. Then, sighing, he turned his eyes toward Shinai.

"The house is well protected. Kagona will make sure no one gets close. I'll go see what's happening and help if I can. Kags, do not let her so much as twitch," Zaku ordered solemnly. Kagona nodded, her eyes dark, and Zaku nodded at Shinai. Then he was gone, swallowed up by the rain. Before the front door closed completely, I could hear the distant explosions and I was forced to swallow down a lump that started to form in my throat.

They'll be okay. They'll be okay. They'll be oh-

An awful pain ripped through my abdomen and, as I started to fall backwards, I could only see Kagona's fearful and shocked eyes as I cried out.

Echoes of the outside explosions rang painfully in my head as I realized, in one hideous moment, that the baby was coming and it was coming now.

Fuck.

Time blurred together. As a kunoichi, I'd been exposed to tons of pain. My shishou had a slightly sadistic sense of humor that he was all too willing to lay on his impressionable apprentice. Even with my history and scars, nothing I've ever felt could be compared to childbirth. I had heard rumors, but they paled in comparison. It was a wonder how civilian women- who had no reason to have pain tolerance training- even survived the process and dared have more than one child.

The pain was good for one thing: keeping my mind off of the battle happening just over the ridge. It wasn't for several hours later, when I was half-delirious with pain and exhaustion, that I even had enough sense to ask for details. I couldn't bring myself to ask about the war, though, because I found myself entranced by the most beautiful little face, sleeping sweetly in my arms. With the exception of the shock of red hair atop her head, the babe was a carbon copy of her father.

A daughter. A daughter.

Jiraiya and I had a little girl.

I was a mother. Jiraiya was a father. Some part of me wanted to laugh at that. He would be such a great father...

With thoughts of my love tossing his beloved little girl into the air and giving her that genuine smile he reserved for the truly important people in his life, I allowed myself to drift off to sleep. The war drifted out of my mind, leaving only my daughter's face behind.

I couldn't sleep forever, though.

I woke up to chaos. My daughter, still not yet, was crying and screaming. I was reaching out for her before I even opened my eyes but, to my happiness, Shinai gave her to me quickly. Glancing over at Shinai before allowing myself to get distracted with the baby, I realized how blank her face was, how her eyes were rimmed with red. A heavy weight settled in my stomach. I recognized that weight as dread.

"Who?" I asked quietly, my voice shaking with even just one word.

"Yahiko-sama," Shinai reported softly. She brushed hair out of her face- one of her few nervous habits- and cleared her throat. "There are wounded. I have to..."

"Go," I finished when the medic's voice drifted off. Shinai was a professional, but Yahiko had been her rock. She had been found by the beloved leader when her civilian teacher was killed in the war's crossfire. She had been training to be a civilian doctor but, when she was taken in by the Akatsuki, she showed an aptitude for medical ninjutsu and readily continued her medical training from the group's old head medic.

Yahiko. Yahiko.

He couldn't be gone. He couldn't...

Nagato! Konan! I should have made Shinai say! I realized angrily, knowing the woman had fled the room as soon as I had dismissed her. She didn't mention them, a part of my mind soothed.

But she didn't say that they were okay, either.

I held my daughter closer, biting my lip as names and words drifted through my mind.

Tsunade, as godmother, wanted the babe to be named for her. I wasn't going to saddle my daughter with the name of the greatest medic nin in history, so I had intended to provide a name that was similar but unique. Now, grieving for my student and afraid for another two, my daughter's name came to me in a moment of bitterness.

"Tsuya," I said aloud, tasting the word on my tongue. I rocked my daughter in my arms, speaking to her softly and wishing that I had a better name to give her. She deserved a blessed name, not a cursed one.

She deserved so, so much better.

"Tsuya..."

A/N:

Don't get too excited, I'm not totally back. I just realized that I left off at a bad spot last chapter and decided that you all deserve better. I am trying to get back into the process of writing and updating regularly (not that I was ever very good at updating...) so I'm giving you all this as a sort of promise to come back to this.

For those of you who don't know, tsuya is the Japanese practice of keeping vigil over the dead. Basically, family, friends, and acquaintances of the deceased watch over the body (and soul) for the entire night before the funeral service. I decided that Tsuya would be a good mix between appeasing godmother Tsunade, who would have killed to have the child name for her, and a way of Suki honoring Yahiko's death. It's a bitter moment but it is an important moment.

Sorry to end on such a sad note, but at least this part of the story is now resolved. I have ideas about what to do next but, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a sort of "go with the flow and see what happens" sort of writer. It doesn't always lead to coherent writings and it rarely leads to complicated ones but I've somehow convinced a few people to humor me, haven't I?

Thanks for reading!

Susie