I've gotten so many nice reviews, I guess I'll keep clearing out those stories that have been sitting around forever. There are more...

I own nothing, but this would totally happen.

The Wonderful Wizard
by Soleya

"So, in short, sir, it was all caused by a wrong fuse, and the circuit shorted, and that's what caused the-"

"Short circuit?" General Jack O'Neill raised an unamused eyebrow at the young technician in front of him, wondering vaguely how a man of such a small stature could work the word "short" into a sentence that many times without giving himself a complex.

"Yes, sir," the airman said quickly. "But it's fixed now. I promise."

Somehow, 'I promise' wasn't particularly reassuring. But the kid was young. "So no more MALPs going defunct off world? You're sure?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good." When had he started caring? Being in charge sucked. "Well, prep it for SG-13, then."

The sudden, escalating whoop of the klaxons and the chevrons on the massive Stargate behind him interrupted him before he even made it to the blast door. "Unauthorized off world activation!" Walter announced.

Maybe he should have run to the control room, but it seemed easier – after the day he'd had – to just stay where he was, glancing up at the technicians through the glass. They'd tell him what he needed to know.

"It's SG-1, sir."

Yep, that was all he needed. "Open the iris. And get a medical team in here," he ordered. They weren't due back for several hours, and early arrivals could be just as bad as late ones.

The massive metal plates spiraled open, the almost blinding light from the event horizon weaving and shifting throughout the room. But it stayed that way for a long time, soft, undisturbed... long enough that Jack started to get nervous.

Really nervous.

And then they stepped through.

Not one at a time, no, but all three of them, one massive, off-kilter, limping lump. Teal'c's expression gave away nothing, but the way he held his arm against his chest told Jack pretty clearly that it was broken, and he wondered idly if the Jaffa had ever actually broken a bone before. His other arm held up Carter, who looked... fine, if a little off-balance, and she, in turn, held Daniel. The archaeologist's right shin was bleeding pretty badly, and it, too, was definitely not sitting quite straight.

Before anyone could react – before the gate even shut off – Daniel grabbed the railing and disconnected himself from his team leader. "'Kay, I'm good," he muttered, leaning heavily against the steel.

"Great," Carter answered. "I'm out."

Jack didn't entirely know what that meant, but suddenly she seemed to melt before his eyes, slipping through Teal'c's arm and down to the ramp. Spinning a little, she let herself fall back, feet to where the puddle had been, head down, eyes closed. Unfortunately, that meant she couldn't actually see the amazingly Jaffa-like eyebrow raise that the general shot in her direction.

"Oh, yeah," she announced lightly. "That didn't help at all."

He couldn't help it; he let out a completely undignified snort. To make it worse, she not only heard it, she clearly identified it as belonging to him, and said, "Hi, sir."

The eyebrow went right back up as he started up the ramp. "Hi?"

"We had a little incident," Daniel said.

"Really?" It was a sight to see – Daniel and Teal'c stood to the sides of the ramp, Carter a perfect mirror between them, their feet all in a row. He knelt beside the one on the ground as the medical crew entered. "You okay, Carter?"

One somewhat hazy blue eye slid open. "Oh, I'm peachy, sir."

And then, to his confusion and a little bit of dismay... she giggled. Yes, Colonel Sam Carter, astro-wizard and soldier extraordinaire, let out a supremely girly sound in the middle of the Gate Room.

"Daniel," Jack accused gently as he limped from the ramp with the help of two nurses, "is she drunk?"

"No. She hit her head."

Well, that wasn't good. Doctor Carmichael knelt on her other side, penlight in hand. "Can you look at me, Colonel?"

"Don't wanna."

The general couldn't help but chuckle at that. "Open your eyes, Carter."

She did as she was told – with a ridiculously cute pouty expression – and the doctor flashed the light across them. "Inappropriate displays of emotion are a symptom of concussion, sir," he said.

Again, she laughed. "I've been concussed," she announced with far more glee than was probably necessary.

"Good job," he praised, giving her a solid pat on the shoulder. "Now, let's get you up."