AN Thank you all for the amazing support. I know I have been absent a lot lately, but I have so much going on… not to mention the screw up of the show. Anyway thank you for all the lovely votes. I was blown away. I love you all.

Penelope paced outside of Derek's room, trying to control her emotions. A huge part of her wanted to walk into the room with the unconscious Derek lying there and slap him across the face for being so stupid as to leave the hospital in the first place. But a second part of her wanted to run in there, kiss his cheek and tell him everything was going to be okay. They could get through anything.

That wasn't the truth though. She didn't know if they will ever be okay after this.

"Penelope?"

She turned to see Reid walking up to her, two cups of coffee in hand. "How are you doing?"

"Better now that you all are here," she said taking the coffee, grateful for the hot beverage.

Reid turned to look at Derek lying on the bed, before looking back at Penelope. "How about we go for a walk?"

Penelope looked up at Reid and then to Derek. "I can't. He made me promise I would be here this time when he woke up."

Reid nodded, but said, "He just got out of surgery to repair the damage he caused himself. He's gonna be out for a while longer. I promise I'll get you back before he wakes up."

Penelope could feel her resolve breaking. She gave a small nod and took Reid's outreached arm. They were quiet as they made their way outside to the garden that was attached to the hospital. "You know, many hospitals do this."

"Do what?" she asked.

"Make a garden or some sort of community park that's attached. It's somewhere people can go to clear their mind while their loved ones are inside. There is a beautiful garden outside my mom's room."

"It's a nice thing for the hospital to do. I know when my parents were…" She stopped for a moment. "After we ID them there was a small park in the same area. My brothers and I all ended up there. At first we were all quiet, but shortly they blamed me. They ended up leaving me there in that garden. After a couple of hours, I went home made a bag and left. The garden was so peaceful, Spencer. Whenever I felt lost when I was underground I thought about how peaceful and serine it was."

"I think they do that one purpose, Pen. It helps people realize that even though things are bad, there is always good out there too."

She nodded not looking at him.

They were silent watching the garden for a while until Reid spoke. "Sometimes people do idiotic things for the people they love."

"Sometimes people need to realize that enough is enough. Sometimes people need to realize that the one person you counted on in your life could end up crushing you like everyone else you ever loved. Sometimes people need to realize that, things happened for you to become stronger. To become stronger and fight for your life. Not for anyone else. Sometimes people need to realize no matter what you try to do to fix it, there is no fixing it." Penelope sighed, trying to let go of some of her hurt and anger.

"I don't think you really believe that." Reid turned toward her. "Out of everyone I have ever met in my life you are the only person who truly sees the positive in every single thing. You are the person who would lay down her own life to save another with zero questions asked. You don't even need to know the person you are saving."

"Until you become jaded, I lost who I was after…" she took a deep breath. "After he did what he did."

"What Derek did was wrong. I won't deny that at all. Penelope, I also know that he does love you. He's never been good with his feelings, and although he went about everything the wrong way, he does want to fix whatever it is that can be fixed."

"Sweetie, I know you are trying to put the BAU back to the way we used to be. But that's not going to happen." She stared at him, cocking her eyebrow. "How do you even know what happened between us anyway?"

"When Derek was in the hospital and, uh, first woke up, he had told Rossi and Hotch everything. I was waiting outside the door. I was going to go back in after they left to talk to him, but Hotch wanted us all to go home for the night. I planned on talking to him about it the next morning, but when we got to the hospital he was already gone."

"So everyone knows now how he used me?"

"He didn't use you, Penelope." Reid shook his head. "No matter how much you tell yourself that. You know he did not use you. He loves you. He risked his life to come back to you to get you back to him. He would do anything to prove to you his loyalty."

"He has no loyalty to me. If he did, he would have told me the day he took the job… he wouldn't have come over to my house and show me what love was really…" she trailed off. Refusing to cry. "I won't go back Reid. Everything happens for a reason, and this time, it was to show me I need no one in my life. I can do it all on my own."

"Even me? You don't need me, Hotch, JJ, Emily, Rossi? You don't need any of us? You've decided that the family we have created isn't good enough for you anymore because of how Derek treated you." He shook his head but continued. "You know in a lot of ways I am exactly like you. Yes, I know my mother is still alive, but she doesn't know who I am half the time. When I talk to her, it's always a guessing game if she will know me or not. So I've made a new family, and you are a part of that family. Or so I thought."

"Oh Spencer, that's not what I meant." She grabbed his hand. "You know I love you. You are a brother to me, you all are like a family to me. I was just saying I don't need the bond that Derek and I had. I don't need a man in my life to be happy. I can do this on my own."

"You say that everything happens for a reason. Right?"

"Yes," she answered.

"And that this reason was to make you stronger and see you no longer need Derek in your life?"

"Again, yes."

"Have you thought about what this has done to him?"

She stayed quiet.

"Maybe this was his one chance to realize he is worthy enough to love and be loved. Maybe this was his defining moment in his life? He was lucky, Penelope. The unsub was killing everyone he took. Derek made it out alive and when he woke up. Nothing matter to him but you. He took a cab ride all the way to you front door after he clearly knew it was not in his best interest to leave the hospital. He did it because he had to get to you," he said.

Penelope sat on the bench. Moments past before she broke the silence. "I loved him," she said. "I loved him so much that when I found out he left and didn't tell me I thought I was actually dying. Like a part of my soul had been ripped out and I was left to die a miserable death on my own."

"I imagine that might be how he felt when he woke up in the hospital room and you had come back home."

"When did you become an expert on relationships?"

"I don't want to see two people I love go down the wrong path."

Penelope watched him for a moment. He had clearly thought hard about something, the sadness passed across his face, but she knew right now was not a time to ask.

She took a cleansing breath. "I had everything of his boxed up, Spencer. All of it. I woke up this morning and he had spent the whole night putting everything back."

"He wants to be back in your life in any way you will have him," he said.

"I don't know if I can do that," she remarked.

He squeezed her hand and stood up. "I'm just asking that you try."

Penelope took his hand and walked back into the hospital. Deciding to go in, she pulled up a chair and sat down next to Derek grabbing his hand. " I don't know if I can do this, Derek. You hurt me more than I have ever been hurt before. But I am willing-"

She stopped speaking when she felt Derek squeeze her hand.

AN: We all know I am a diehard Garcia/Reid friendship and I will put them together any and every time I can.