Ch:4 Contemplating Sex
I'm back I know its been a month since i posted but i got reasons work has been keeping me busy and I went through a semi traumatic event. But I put all that aside for 2 days to write this long chapter that I hope makes up for the wait. I hope you guys enjoy leave me a review cause they motivate me to keep writing. :)
Anxiety, confused feelings, waking up sad for no reason at all, feeling small in your own head everything around you is so big and out of reach even though its right in front of you. Trying to act normal so no one suspects anything while slowly losing yourself to yourself. Fighting with your mind to stay sane in front of the whole world while you fight a battle with your own mind. Hanging with friends to distract your mind, but that's only a temporary fix. Feeling stuck like you awoke in a different body, you curse your walls wondering why me. Why cant I be like everyone else, why was I cursed? Why don't I see the world like the rest, why is my world in different shades while everyone see colors. When will my light appear. Feeling like the sadness will never end. Ignoring your friends to be alone, not knowing how long this battle will be. Wanting to do things you never imagined you'd ever do. Crying yourself to sleep, laying in bed for hours staring up at the ceiling cursing out everything and everybody that crossed your mind at that moment blaming them thinking they turned you into this. Hating god at that moment for making you this, for MAKING YOU DIFFERENT! WHY ME! In a soft voice almost a whisper with tears streaming down pleading "why, please why am I g-g-ga… AAAAAAAAAAaaaaah! Not even being able to say the word, afraid that once you do admit it, it will be real still thinking there's a chance to change. Then an idea pops into your head.
Sitting around bored trying to come up with something to do when an idea pops into his head. Getting his cell out from his pocket he decides to have some fun and knowing actually who to text.
Kevin
Hey sexii
Krystal
Kevin? What's up
Kevin
Was wondering if you maybe wanted to do something
Krystal
You know Im always happy to go down on you
Oops I meant down to hang ;)
Kevin
Come over
Krystal
Be there in 20
Kevin
Cant wait
Now Kevin starts nervously pacing his room for a minute thinking of what he just got himself into. Starts looking around his room thinking maybe I can clean up a bit. Which means just throwing clothes and anything else that's on the floor into the closet to make it look clean. Nervously checking the time every minute to see if 20 minutes have passed yet being thankful every time when they haven't still giving more time to freak out and prepare. Running to the bathroom to freshen up putting on deodorant and body spray to smell good. Brushing his teeth just in case. Then just as he's swishing mouth wash the door bell rings. Quickly spitting it out and running to the door but hesitates as he about to open it cause some how this feels wrong. But shacks it off cause this is Krystal the hottest girl in school next to Nazz of course but Krystal's hot in a slutty way unlike Nazz who keeps it classy.
"Edd?"
"Salutations Kevin sorry to just drop by, but I brought you some home made cookies to say thank you for last week."
Damn he's so cute just standing there smiling… Ugh nooooo double dork is not ugh stop it you're not a…
"Kevin?"
Kevin looking behind Edd and Edd turning around to find Krystal standing there looking fine as ever.
"Kevin your friends with him? " she says in a tone not to approving.
"Something like that." rubbing the back of his neck trying not meet her eyes.
"But he's a nerd, no offense Kevin but major turn off" pointing at Edd with one hand on her hip.
Edd looks down saddened forgetting he's holding anything dropping the plate of cookies with a loud bang.
"S-sorry I got to go enjoy the c-cookies." Kevin felt a pang in his chest as he watched Edd leave.
"What a loser, so Kevin shall we" says with gleam in her eye and a knowing smirk.
"Yea, you can go up to my room just let me clean this up, be right there it's the last room on the left." Kevin said still staring out the door long after Edd has enter his house since they live right in front of each other at the end of the cul-de-sac since they were kids.
Krystal walked passed him up the stairs but not without swishing her hips in a seductive way.
Kevin didn't even pay her much attention as he walked to the hall closest to fetch the broom and dust pan he felt really horrible that he didn't even get to try the cookies he bets they were amazing. The dork does live most of the time by himself he's probably had to learn to cook and bake on his own. That thought alone made him feel horrible he almost just wanted to go over there and apologize but then he remembered Krystal was upstairs waiting for him.
After he finished cleaning up he hesitated going upstairs in stead he went to the bathroom to check his appearance, he splashed some water on his face and deemed himself ready.
On his way upstairs he can hear faint music which confuses him but brushes it off. As he entered his room he saw a sight to be hold Krystal standing there half naked in a pale pink bra and panties. He blamed Nazz for knowing that color.
"Damn" is all he can say he was so not expecting them to just jump right into it but he's not complaining.
She walked over to him in a seductive way making sure to move her hips with ever step.
Kevin still paralyzed in place just stood there watching her come to him. Once she stood right in front of him she wrapped her arms around his neck but with difficulty being only 5'2 and Kevin almost 6 ft but she managed to whispered in his ear "you like?"
Kevin wasting no time in kissing her as a response while leading her to the bed but before they can drop on it Kevin turns them falling first on the edge of the bed with Krystal on top of him. They proceed to make-out heavily until the need for air becomes to great giving her a chance to pull off his shirt with minor assistance. She then pushes him flat against the bed still on top of him now straddling him. Bending forward to reconnect there lips again and starts grinding her body against his. Kevin lets out a moan but for some reason he wasn't enjoying this as much as he thought he would be. All this for some reason felt wrong like it should be someone else on top of him making him feel this good. So he sits up and gently pushes Krystal off of him.
"Kevin what's wrong?" she looked very confused and kind of hurt cause she has never been reject like this.
"Nothing, I don't know I just remember I have something to do."
"What! Seriously Kev, god I drove 20 minutes for this?
"Sorry for wasting your time babe just priorities you know? Hoping she gets the hint.
"Oh, my, god Kev if I didn't know better I would say you're gay!" that comment sets him off, he pushes Krystal resulting with her falling off the bed in anger gritting his teeth he says "I'm, not, a fag , get out now."
Krystal in pain from falling and now scared cause she's never seen Kevin this mad ever gets dressed quickly and grabs her phone from the dock and leaves without a word.
Kevin punches his pillow in anger cursing everything and nothing. What is wrong with me that was Krystal one of the hottest girl in school and I couldn't go through with it maybe I am… He punched the wall with all his strength this time for even thinking that. His hand radiates with pain right after and was slightly bleeding split on the knuckles. He cursed loudly from the pain shacking his hand which was a huge mistake that just made it hurt more. So he held it in his shirt now noticing the blood running to the bathroom to rinse it out. He looks through the cabinets for band aids or a wrap but found non. Going to the downstairs bathroom coming up with the same results. Now rummaging through all the draws, the hall closet and still not finding anything. He just wraps a dish towel around his hand and decides to head to his room for a nap maybe his hand will stop throbbing and bleeding by the time he's awaken from a nap.
A couple hours later he's awoken by the sound of his cell going off he reluctantly picks it up seeing its his mom calling.
"Hey mom?"
"Hey honey, just calling to let you know I'm going to be late getting home from work so just go ahead and make yourself something to eat ok?"
"Yea sure, no problem mom"
"Thanks for understanding, oh idea what if I order you a pizza for dinner for not being able to be there"
"That's would be rad mom"
"Great then its settle just call me later when your ready to eat"
"Yea ok, thanks mom you're the best"
"I try ok buy I got to get back to work love you"
"Love you to mom"
With that they click then he checks his phone and sees a few messages from Nazz ,Rolf and a couple from Nat. But decides against replying and checks on his hand. Glad that he punched the wall with his left hand or he'd be fucked. Holy shit he was fucked football practice coach was so not going to be happy when he heard that his star player injured his hand. Oh man, oh man and why couldn't he find a wrap anywhere so it could at least heal properly. Knowing only one person that probably had what he needed. He imagined him having a first aid kit for any case scenario even his. So reluctantly he heads downstairs and across the street to Double Dorks house hoping he was home and not at one of the other mega dorks places it is Sunday no school and still pretty early in the afternoon only being 3 pm. It was surprisingly warm outside when usually it was at least sweater weather outside as he walked to the dorks house in just a tee shirt with a band logo he didn't even care for and blue washed out jeans. Knocking on the door with his good hand he waited and after a few moments of no answer he knocked again this time hearing the shuffling of feet and a voice shouting coming.
When the door opened he saw the most adorable sight Edd standing there in a pink apron with flour on his face.
Edd looked surprised to see him his eyes big and mouth slightly open.
"Hey" Is all he could say cause now thinking about earlier he felt awkward.
"Kevin? Hey can I help you?" He said in a slightly irritated tone and didn't greet him in his usual manner surprising Kevin no salutation or greetings which felt odd.
"Hey dork so I was wondering if you maybe had a band aid or wrap I can have I might of injured my hand early." He said showing his hand with the dish towel still wrapped around it.
"Oh dear, Kevin come in and sit down ill be right back." He closes the door and rushes upstairs, mean while Kevin sits in the living room, noticing that the house smells surprisingly good now wondering what he was making. Damn I bet he's awesome at baking maybe he'll let me sample what he made. He thought with a smirk.
Edd returned after a minute with a huge first aid kit. Which made him chuckle cause he was right.
"Kevin let me see your hand please." Edd said but when Kevin didn't budge and just stared at him making him feel uncomfortable.
"Kevin, earth to Kevin" he said reaching out for Kevin's injured hand which made him finally react feeling Edd's hand on his so he let him examine it. When he removed the towel he was mad at what he saw his knuckles were all bruised with dry blood on them and pretty swollen.
"Oh dear Kevin what happened, did you get in a fight?"
"Something like that, I guess if a wall counts and guess what it won" he said with smirk which made Edd giggle.
"Oh my Kevin so what did the poor wall do to deserve such treatment?" Says teasingly.
"Not what it did but what happened to set me off but lets not talk about that." Kevin said feeling unease now about where the conversation was going.
"Ok if you wish, just know I'm an excellent listener." Said with a smile that showed off his gap tooth which was kind of adorkable. Ok dude that was so gay what is wrong with me and these thoughts no dude you're not that.
"I'm just going to spray your hand with a disinfectant this shouldn't sting at all" he said spraying a heavy amount of it all over his hand.
That lying motherfucker Kevin thought pressing his lips together to not yell out in pain.
"See not so bad right?" Edd said with a smirk of his own like if he meant to do that.
"If this is pay back for earlier sorry. If It helps we didn't do anything didn't even hang long might have kicked her out after some time." A smile spread across his face which was nice to see.
"Why is that Kevin? I doubt you did it in my honor so what really happened?" Edd said now looking confused.
"Yea see that's the thing I rather not say just know I don't think ill be getting a second chance."
"Well you don't seem to bummed about it If I do say."
"Nah, Krystal she's kind of a stuck of bitch she was just a good lay you know?"
"Yea, I believe so" He noticed Edd's face fall after saying that which he didn't understand but now he felt compelled to make him smile again.
"But I didn't just so you know I didn't sleep with her, you somehow got under my skin dork." Shoving him playfully he noticed Edd's eyes got big in surprise.
"How's that" Edd said at a lost for words.
"I don't know I guess cause were friends now and It's a turn off to talk to my friends like that" he said with a smirk using her words against her now.
He noticed that made Edd blush, he had a slight smile creeping on his face.
"Shall I finish?" Said pointing to my hand.
"Yea definitely, god coach is so going to kill me for this." He said as Edd delicately cleaned his hand of the dried blood then preceded to rub some ointment on it then bandage it up.
"Well Kevin, I'm sure he'll be more then understanding if you just explain to him what happened." He looked at Edd as if he grown a second head.
"No, he wont his star player injuring his hand 2 weeks before the homecoming game yea no he's going to chew me out tomorrow."
"Don't worry Kevin your hand should be healed well before then if you take proper care of it."
"Yea? Rad then." They continue to sit there in silence just staring at each other enjoying the comfortable silence, they suddenly seem to be getting closer to each other Kevin on the edge of the couch and Edd still at the foot of Kevin on his knees. When suddenly a loud beep breaks through the silence. Edd is now on his feet flushed heading to the kitchen.
What just happened? Shacking it off he decides to follow the dork.
"That smells good" Edd jumps suddenly hearing Kevin voice still expecting him to be in the living room.
"There blueberry muffins my favorite" Said with a big smile again showing off his cute gap tooth.
"Yea well they smell amazing dude so how you'd learn to bake?"
"Well having to practically raise myself since I was 10 you learn plus its not hard to follow a recipe" he said with a small laugh.
"Dude that's pretty amazing I can barley make eggs without burning them" he said which made Edd laugh and not just any laugh hard stomach clenching and everything.
"Haha laugh it up dork I know almost 18 and can't cook very funny" but he wasn't mad he found it almost amusing watching the dork laugh like this he's never seen him laugh like this unless he was with the other dorks. It felt nice for some odd reason that he could make him laugh like this.
"S-sorry Kevin but its hard to believe an almost adult not even being able to make something as simple as eggs." he said in a teasingly manner.
"Maybe you can teach me all so great one that knows all" Says in a slight mocking tone.
"Well Kevin I would be delighted to but maybe we could start when no heat stuff I wouldn't want you to burn my house down." Says teasingly with a smirk matching Kevin's.
"Awesome now could I try one of those muffins they smell amazing."
"Oh dear where are my manners of course just in a bit there still to hot to remove from the pan, in the mean time want to watch a movie maybe? I think I have popcorn, unless you need to go." Said that last statement looking down not meeting his eyes.
"Yea sure dork so what my options."
"Great, there over there in the case by the television"
I bet he has all educational films he thought with a smirk.
Now sorting through his movie collection he notices in amazement he has all the Avengers and sweet he has the newest Batman. Damn He's not just a dork he's secretly a nerd too. Woah no way, Monster Mania Attack of The Unknown. I heard this movies was way scary it's even banned in some countries. We are so watching this. He'll be so scared he'll be clinging on to thought alone made his heart beat pick up.
"Popcorn's almost ready did you pick a movie yet?"
"Yup, sure did dork" not being able to contain a smile.
"Great just put it in, ill be right there unless you need help with that too?"
"Haha very funny dork" cant do one thing now I'm labeled as a dumb jock not cool dork.
He popped the movie into the dvd player than made himself at home on the couch.
Edd returned shortly with the popcorn and two muffins.
"So what did you pick?" Sitting down making himself comfy next to Kevin but making sure to leave enough space between them.
"You'll see" with a devilish smirk.
Pushing play the main menu for Monster Mania Attack of The Unknown come on with eerie music playing.
"Oh Kevin, no!"
"What's wrong dork not scared are we?"
"N-no it's not that just that this is Ed's movie I even forgot I had it and well I-I was s-suppose to watch it with them but then Ed got called by Sara so we never got a chance." looking away disappointed the thought from earlier crossing his mind.
"But hey, no worries I'll just act like I never seen it when I rewatch it with them." A smile spreading across his face was reassurance enough to push play.
"Rad, well get ready to get scared and don't worry you can cling on to me if you get scared big Kevin is here."
"Big, Kevin" Edd said in between laughter. "Oh dear, I think ill be al-al-alright" still trying to contain his laughter.
"Its not that funny dork" shoving him slightly getting annoyed not liking being laughed at.
Noticing Kevin's dismay the laughter stops.
"Oh dear, I'm sorry Kevin but I'll be fine I'm not easily frightened I've seen to many horror films with Ed to be at this point."
"Oh"
Half way through the film at a very gory scene he looks over to see the dork eating popcorn looking unaffected by the scene in which a lady is getting decapitate screaming at the top of her lungs while they burn her child alive in front of her and other bodies lay dead surrounding them with blood everywhere. He's can't even look at the screen he's almost ready to barf.
"Are you ok Kevin?" He's looking at him with big concerning eyes.
"Yea, I'm fine dork remember I'm big Kevin not easily scared."
"Ok" looking back at the screen glad for a change in scene.
"So Kevin enjoy the film?" Edd said with a smirk like he knows the film has scarred him.
"Dude that film was sick and not in a good way you know what I don't care anymore, I don't know how you could even keep a straight face through it call me a pussy but man no wonder that films banned in some countries."
"My, my was Big Kevin scared?" trying to stifle a laugh.
"Whatever dork" he says playfully while shoving him slightly.
"Well I better go dork I'm expected to call my mom in bit."
"Oh, yea alright" feeling a pang seeing the smile fade from his face, he has an idea.
"Hey dork want to come over for dinner my moms ordering me a pizza and I cant eat it all by my self?" Asks without meeting his eye in fear of being rejected.
"I would be delighted but I got to clean up the mess from baking by the way that reminds me I got something for you."
He walks away into the kitchen Kevin fallowing close behind he sees a plate of cookies with his name on it.
"Here I made more cookies since I dropped the last batch earlier by the way sorry about that just you know what the whole Krystal thing."
"Double D no, I'm sorry about what she said that was uncalled for your actually pretty cool to be around and I guess now would be a good time if any to apologize myself for being a dick to you always I've never meant to. It's all Eddy he gets under my skin and you've just always been there in the cross fire sorry."
"Oh dear, Kevin that actually mean a lot but honestly Eddy did deserve it most of the times he does have a way of about him that puts one off but he only means the best."
"Yea well I don't see it."
"Not everyone does but that's alright."
"So my place I'm actually pretty hungry."
"That's surprising since you ate most of the popcorn."
"I was just distracting myself mostly from that film" thinking back to the film gives him goose bumps.
"Sure just let me clean up first this is all messy, messy, messy."
"Are you sure it cant wait dork?"
"'I'm sorry Kevin, but the thought of putting this off is unsettling, why not you go order the food and ill be right over in 20 minutes 30 tops the food should be arriving by the time I come over how's that sound?"
"Yea sure dork but don't take to long if the food arrives before you I'm not promising anything."
"Oh dear well food does do a growing boy good" says with a laugh.
Walking to the door Edd opens it letting Kevin out but hesitates as he leaves even thought he'll see him in just a mere 20/30 minutes.
"See you in bit?" For some odd reason needing reassurance.
"Yea of course, now go maybe order something healthy?"
"Not a chance dork plus I don't see how pizza can be healthy."
"Well Kevin there's an alternative for everything."
"Dork don't you got some cleaning to do?" Trying to change the subject before he actually gives in.
"Oh my well see you in a bit Kev bye" says while closing the door. Leaving him frozen in place. Kev sounds nice coming from him unlike how his friends say it. Maybe I should have him call me that instead. He thinks as he starts walking back across the street to his house with a huge smile on his face.