She wouldn't stop eating sand. At this point, I'd given up, exhausted from chasing her around the playground. There was no reason why she couldn't eat sand, right? All two-year-olds ate sand, and most of them survived it. A little bit couldn't hurt...

A tiny fist of sand rose into the air.

I wasn't going to do it.

I wasn't going to interfere this time. Maybe she'd learn if I just let her. I didn't move from my position on the bench. My body protested any thought of movement.

The tiny fist flew toward her mouth.

Screw it.

"Kaoru!" I called out, my tone deepening with a hint of warning. The tiny fist stopped, and wide red eyes glanced back at me. I lifted a hand and gestured for her to come over to me. There was no way I was moving.

She stared back at her hand, and to my relief opened it. The sand sprinkled onto her legs and she pushed herself up. Grinning. She ran over to me, as though she hadn't just been about to eat the disgusting sand.

"Mommy, where's Daddy?" Kaoru asked when she reached me. She clambered onto the bench, and then onto my lap. I grunted a bit. She was getting heavy.

"Daddy is coming," I explained. "You know him. He's always late for everything."

She giggled and snuggled closer to me. It was amazing, honestly, having this tiny child love me so much. Even though I'd seen it with my friends, and with other kids, I never actually thought a child could love its mother. It was a stupid thought. Of course children loved their mothers. How else would they have survived? This was the norm. What I had...well, what I had was not exactly an ideal relationship.

Still, this felt so off. I loved it, despite Kaoru's frustrating bits (especially the temper tantrums and stubbornness), and I wouldn't trade this life for everything.

I kissed the top of her head. She held up a hand, as if to create fire - an ability she'd gained from her dad's family - but nothing happened. She kicked her legs out and tried again, but I held her tighter, nulling her powers so she wouldn't set fire to the park and get us all in trouble. It wasn't like those with Alices were accepted by the general public yet, and she was too young to go to the Academy. Though, I knew they were watching her. Two graduates with powerful Alices didn't just have a kid and not attract attention from the government.

"Mikan."

I jumped, and stood, holding my daughter against me. Heart fluttering, I prepared to use whatever power I could, before realizing who stood behind me.

My husband, Natsume, held up his hands, a small, amused grin on his face.

"Alright, alright!" he said with a joking tone. "I won't take your money."

"DADDY!" Kaoru reached out to her dad, and I relaxed.

"You know I'm still jumpy," I scolded, handing her over. "You have to stop sneaking up on me." He was always quiet. Like a ninja. Or a cat. Or a ninja cat.

He winked, and then kissed Kaoru's forehead. "Sorry. I thought you talked to your therapist about the jumpiness."

I rolled my eyes. "I did, but trauma doesn't go away overnight."

"To be fair, eight years isn't exactly overnight," he pointed out.

It wasn't overnight. For the past eight years, ever since my mom was hospitalized, I'd tried to get rid of the damage she'd done to me. I'd been doing better. I really had. But...

"Are you still thinking about her letter?" he asked.

I crossed my arms and glanced over at the playground. There were a few kids running around. They were older than Kaoru, maybe nine or ten. I closed my eyes. When I was nine, I wasn't allowed outside like that. I didn't have friends to run around with.

"Hey." He was next to me, placing a hand on my cheek. Kaoru was watching quietly. Kids were amazing at picking up on moods. Other moms talked about how they never showed irritation or sorrow around their kids, but I wanted Kaoru to grow up knowing that these emotions were okay. I didn't want her to grow up in a house of lies until one day I snapped at her.

"Do you think I should meet with her?" I asked.

"Not if you don't feel safe."

"She can't hurt me anymore, right?"

"No." He kissed me. Kaoru gripped my shit. "She will never hurt you. And if she tries, I know plenty of people who'd stand behind you. No questions asked. But if you don't want to, then that's fine. I'd be okay with her never meeting our daughter." Kaoru perked up at the mention of herself. I knew she didn't understand what was going on. Not yet. One day I'd tell her, but not yet.

I leaned against Natsume and sighed.

"Will she ever not have this grip over me?" The day I received her letter, I almost had a panic attack. It took a lot to keep myself calm so I didn't scare Kaoru.

"I have no idea."

"You're no help."

"Yes."

"Mommy, do you need hug?"

I smiled down at our daughter, and then reached for her. "'A hug,'" I corrected. "And yes. I do need a hug." She squeezed me tight. I held her up with one hand, and Natsume claimed my other. "You ready to head home?"

He nodded. I didn't know what I was going to do about my mom. For her to reach out, to apologize, had to mean something, right? Or was it all a trick?

As we walked toward the car, Kaoru dozing on my shoulder, I decided now wasn't the time to make that decision. I was happy, and I wasn't going to let her letter ruin that. I wasn't going to let her shake my world anymore.

There would be no more silent abuse in my life.

A/N: Dang. Did I really publish this in 2010? Has it really been seven years? That's insane. In 2010 I was...what? 16? I'm almost 23 now, and I suppose it's safe to say that I've changed quite a bit. I mean, I'm graduating from college in a few months for heaven's sake. That's a little different than 16.

I still remember when I wrote this. I was in such a bad place in my life. I'd gotten out of a mental hospital after a suicide attempt not long before, was struggling with my dad and step-mom's divorce, my oldest brother was serving in Iraq, and I wasn't adapting well to all the new knowledge about the world. I still remember reading the original and feeling so hurt. At that time, I was trying to figure out where I was in the world, and what the abuse I suffered meant for me.

Hell, I'm still trying to figure it out sometimes.

This was the first time I ever opened up about my abuse. It was the first time I defiantly said, "no. This isn't a joke." I know the original author didn't mean it that way. At the time, I was too blinded by my own pain to see that it wasn't meant to offend. Even if I was irrational with this story, I'm glad I wrote it. These words, writing those scenes, and then having her end up happy helped me to finally allow myself to feel my pain.

I still struggle, like I said. I have days where I feel like I'm 15 again. I'm going to keep going. This little short, an epilogue of sorts, is a symbol of where I am now (minus the kid and the marriage). Still fighting, but more often than not coming out on top. And maybe this can be a message to anyone out there who is stuck where I was seven years ago: life can get better.

This is the last I'll post in this story. It's time I laid it to rest.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and went along with my insanity.

Much love,

Sunechirei