Chapter Seven: Exit Nate (or Death of The King)
"Clarice refused to come back," Nate told Cyclops and Emma. "But vigilantism seems therapeutic for her. I wouldn't recommend further action."
Emma nodded, fingers crossed daintily over her naked knees. Her blue eyes focused on his every word. Blink had been her former student, after all, but Scott nodded and turned back to his desk.
While Nate was hunting Blink, Utopia had suffered from yet another crisis. The Hellfire Club – now controlled by pre-pubescent maniacs – attacked. Cyclops fought back. More accurately, he sent Hope and her peers to fight back as he was still busy fighting vampires. "Fight someone your own size", right? Wrong! said Wolverine. The grumpy Canadian decided to rehabilitate the Hellfire kids at a new school in New York. He was calling it 'The Jean Grey School for Higher Learning', and roughly half the X-Men were leaving Utopia for New York.
"I know how occupied you are," Nate began.
Cyclops stopped and sighed. "Are you joining Logan, too?"
He knew his father had taken Ray's decision to leave personally, but it had more to do with Emma and Jean than Cyclops.
"No, I don't think I'd make a good teacher. I have no problem striking children and neither do our enemies. That's fantasy to think he's protecting them."
Scott smirked. "Glad to hear it."
He took a deep breath, "But I need help."
In a flood, he confessed everything. How he'd been inadvertently drifting in his sleep for months now; how he'd gone to Rachel for help and accidentally pulled 'On into their world; how he'd lost and regained his powers; how her memories had been altered; how they'd fallen in love; and finally, how he'd been drifting again… To darker realms.
"I wasn't worried until Blink said she'd been there, too. Whatever lives there, it has real power. Its sole purpose is to inflict suffering, and when I resisted, it threatened to break free and harm 'On. I've been subjecting myself, but I fear the day will come when I will no longer suffice. If it follows me home, there's no way of knowing the damage."
They were silent for several heartbeats. Then, Cyclops said, "Em, you got this?"
"Naturally." She turned to Nate. "First, has Rachel been involved?"
"No. I – I thought it would be better if she didn't know."
"How much power do you have in this other dimension? Telepathy? Telekinesis?"
"My power isn't the problem. The problem is their abilities exceed my own. They can do things I've never seen, never heard of before."
Emma shook her head. "If they had that sort of power, they wouldn't have to threaten you. You hold the power. And we're not going to run away or ignore them. That's what Rachel would do, but I don't take kindly to anyone who hurts my kids." She touched her temple.
It was hard to be afraid with Emma fighting in his corner. They slipped into the darkness and let the demons flock around them before they unleashed hell. He thought she was fighting with him, but when he turned around, he realized she'd only been watching. She'd been right. He could've stopped them all along. Whatever pain those monsters inflicted on him was returned a hundred-fold, and he returned with bitter tears in his eyes. How much suffering had been caused by his inaction?
She wiped his chin and remarked: "Poor Wolverine thinks he bagged the superior telepath."
'On's period arrived right on time. She wasn't pregnant after all. They decided to keep trying and in the meanwhile, he focused on his training, which he should've never quit.
Blaming Ray wasn't fair. Nor could he fairly blame 'On for keeping him from Utopia. No, it was his own damn fault he'd lost focus, and he determined to re-dedicate himself. Twice a week, the New Mutants trained in the Danger Room, and once a week, he met with Danny. It was obvious his strength and ability had vastly improved… But then, the uber-powerful X-Men weren't around to show him up.
Ray moved to New York. She was going to be a senior staff member at the Jean Grey School, which complicated things enormously. They decided not to dissolve Grey & Grey, but who knew when they'd ever reunite? And she said she wasn't bitter… but she kind of was. Hope and Nate sided with Cyclops, so she'd be going alone. But if she didn't want the family to fracture, why was she fracturing it?! And where was 'On going to live now? Dani wasn't wild about the idea of them screwing in the office, and honestly, neither was he.
Once again, he brought up Utopia. 'On tearfully accused him of trying to kill her – unaware he didn't know why – but this time he forced himself to sit through it. When she calmed, he gently pushed again, and she explained.
"It was supposed to be a new beginning… We were supposed to be safe… They never even warned us. People just vanished. They took-" her bottom lip trembled. "They took Yuri. And then they came for me… I can't remember all of it, only bits and pieces. I remember hiding underground and hearing them breakdown the floor. Teeth and claws and shouting… They shook me like a rag doll. I thought I was going to die, they'd rip me in two… Then nothing. I woke up in a hospital missing a leg."
Okay, so she didn't blame the X-Men directly – just Utopia. And by extension, the X-Men. But this was something he could work with.
"I'd never let anything bad happen to you," he said.
"They didn't catch them all," she replied. "Predator X. It's still out there. They hibernate underground and come out when they're hungry. Now that it's had a taste of me, I'm what it wants. I know it."
"No, that's not true. The X-Men destroyed them and the lab they came from. Think about it, if Predator X survived, wouldn't the entire island be gone by now? Look, I know it's easy to think you were the catalyst, but that's the trauma talking. That's not reality."
She shook her head.
"Please trust me," he said. "I need to be there and Utopia needs me. And I need you, so please… trust me. I will keep you safe."
As always, his fuck-ups became immediately apparent.
As soon as they arrived in Utopia, people began talking about how much her eyes resembled Gambit's. Luckily, Gambit was in New York with Wolverine and the others (seeing him might've triggered her real memories), but it was obvious no one had ever seen her before… Which didn't make sense because she'd supposedly lived here once. When they realized she had amazing combat skills, they tested her in the Danger Room, where her kinetic powers activated "for the first time". Everyone knew mutant powers came before a mutant's third decade – usually way before. How had she been unaware of this ability for so long? The final nail in the coffin was Yuri. Turns out, Yuri was Uri, and he (not she) had been Nate's friend for years. How could he forget all that?
"Ray must've implanted fail-safes," he speculated to Hope. "Whenever she gets too close to the truth, she gets suddenly distracted."
Hope showed him how to breakdown and clean a laser rifle. "Then you need to remove them."
"Easy for you to say. You don't know it's like to lose someone you love."
Her eyes flashed. "What did you say?!"
When he realized what he'd said, he apologized. Hope had lost her father, Cable, when they returned from the future. It had been terribly traumatic and he was an asshole for forgetting about it (Cable wasn't his father, after all), but losing a loved one to death wasn't the same thing as losing them to broken trust. That was the loss he spoke of.
She huffed. "You know what you're doing, don't you?"
"With the gun? Clearly not."
"You're controlling her. What did Danny tell you? Remove fear, desire, and anger from the equation. You've done none of that."
"You heard that?"
"It's sound advice… It's something my dad would've said."
He was silent for a long time. Finally, he agreed. "But if this goes badly, I'm coming to you."
"I'll be ready with ice-cream and Adele. Apparently, that's the break-up custom of this age."
But that conversation never happened. As he crossed the campus, the Phoenix was re-born and every telepath in the universe felt it. This endangered the world, which Nate used as an excuse to postpone doing something he didn't want to do. It was easier to screw her and tell himself they still had a future together. But he caught her sometimes giving him a dark and puzzled look, as if she wanted to clobber him. He asked what was wrong, and instead of bitterly retorting "nothing", her face transformed so swiftly that he thought her bad temper was a figment of his imagination.
The Avengers came for Hope, who was positively pitiful standing up to them. Her tiny fist couldn't cover the star on Steve Rogers' chest. Luckily, the X-Men were prepared to keep her safe – by any means. Iron Man broke the Phoenix Force into five pieces, but rather than disperse, it selected five hosts: Cyclops, Emma, Namor, Magik, and her brother Colossus. It was the lucky break mutant-kind needed.
They stabilized Utopia and left Nate in charge while they saved the world from itself.
"Whatever you need," Cyclops said, "Just ask. It's important for Utopia to flourish."
"Relax. I've got everything under control here."
"Everything? Really?"
"Well, besides Hope. She's struggling with feelings of insignificance since the Phoenix passed her over." He saw concern and added, "Don't be alarmed. She's sixteen. This isn't an uncommon reaction to rejection. She will cope."
"This power… She couldn't handle it."
"True, but I can't imagine she'd be pleased to hear it. See you tomorrow?"
Scott nodded and vanished.
Nate gathered his notes from his desk and felt something cold and smooth press against the back of his neck. Lightning shot through him. As his telepathy weakened to nothing, he realized his attacker's body carried two lives. He hadn't even heard the door open! Disoriented, he was lifted bodily from his chair. Those breasts, that arm, those hands: he knew 'On in an instant. As she pressed a gun to his head and pushed him outside, he desperately tried to defuse the situation.
Gun ready, Hope said: "I've got a clear shot."
"No! She's pregnant."
Hope's murderous intent melted away. "Congratulations!"
They made quite the scene – gun pointed at his head as 'On dragged him to the docks. She stole a boat and they rode out towards San Francisco. When the bridge came into view, she killed the engine. It was quiet, still early, and fog obscured the coast. As water gently lapped against the vessel, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Well, them and the Dreaming Celestial parked on the bank like a robotic lighthouse. It arrived years ago. No one knew where it came from, why it was here, or when it would leave. It just was.
Nate felt calmer looking at the iron behemoth. If she'd brought him here to kill him, at least someone would know.
"Who are you?" she finally asked.
"You know who I am. Nate Grey."
"No you're not. You wear his face and you took his life, but you're not Nate." She pointed her gun. "So I'll ask once more. Who are you?"
"Did you ever think maybe you're the odd one?"
Her shoulders dropped. "You've been messing with my head… My Nate wouldn't do that!"
"Your Nate's dead. Everyone who knew you six months ago, too. When you realized you couldn't save them, you tried to kill yourself." He paused. "So I erased your memories." No point throwing Ray under the bus when he was just as guilty.
"But I remember-"
"You remember a lie. That's all. Please give me the gun."
The weapon dropped to her side and she turned away. Her body racked with sobs and he realized the only way to save her from her grief now was to distract her.
"I wanted to tell you," he said. "That's why I brought you here. You would've thought I was crazy if I told you all at once."
"You made me love you."
"No! No, that wasn't me."
"So it's just luck that you erased my memories and I happened to fall for you?! You took everything!"
He wanted to act wisely, but the truth was she drove him crazy. If he could've cut out his heart to prove his sincerity, he would have. Her eyes – accusatory and spiteful – were slowly doing it for him.
"I'm sorry. I know it's not enough, but I never lied about my feelings for you. Our bond, it's not something I made up or you imagined. It's real and you know it is!"
"You sick fuck," she sneered.
At that point, he would've welcomed a blast to the head.
They heard the distant hum of a plane and then the Helicarrier emerged from the fog.
"The Avengers!" He realized. "They've come for Hope!"
He pushed her aside and steered the boat back to Utopia. They couldn't possibly outrun the Helicarrier, and without his telepathy, he couldn't alert the others. 'On looked longingly at the water rushing past, but he couldn't comfort her right now. He had to save people who wanted to live.
Avengers exited Utopia as he ran aground and inertia propelled him onto the island. Sprinting, he shouted in vain as they ascended with Hope. She hadn't put up any resistance this time, and a defense hadn't yet mobilized.
Although it was impossible, he focused all his energy on the rear engine. His powers would still be crippled for another eleven hours (thanks to the neutralizer blast), but he had to try.
Breathe. Focus. Relax.
Something inside him stepped out, flew after the Helicarrier and smashed its rear engine. He was back on Utopia. He needed to take out the other rear engine to slow it down.
Breathe. Focus. Relax.
Again, the thing inside flew out and ripped the engine to shreds. He did this eight more times until it was dead in the water. Now that they couldn't leave, he needed to warn the island and mobilize a rescue team, but his body was no longer on the island. He kept smashing engines and glancing inside, where scenes repeated like a song on a damaged disc. It felt like time had bottle-necked and couldn't move forward anymore.
'That is precisely what's happened,' the Dream Celestial said.
Nate was pulled onto the fourth dimension, where he watched himself repeat again and again.
"But how did this happen?"
'Your psionic powers exceeded reality's tolerance. The time flow cannot support it.'
"I've died before," he reminded himself. "Just like going to sleep…"
He felt himself dissolving away, but there was no glowing light or Jean's comforting omnipresence like last time. He opened his eyes in confusion.
"Okay, so… not dead."
'Far from it,' said the Celestial. 'Welcome, X-Man.'
They were still on earth, but physical objects were mere ghosts in the distance. Things that had been invisible before – light-waves, gravity, thoughts, and time – now had visible form. He traversed great distances without ever moving. Then he felt something bizarre. It felt like warm, organic cellophane around the universe, and on the other side lurked his nightmarish captors. Or their kind. The mystery of their nature allowed for numbers beyond his previously comprehension.
'The Exterminators… Foolishly created to balance good and evil. But we could not control them, so the universe was split into many and they were locked in between. The barriers have been weakened by wanderers like you.'
"It's psionic – the barrier."
'Affirmative. For years we have monitored sentient humanoids. Your psionic capabilities present the universe's greatest chance for protection. Will you render your services as Gatekeeper? To uphold the divide between order and disorder?'
The hero in him accepted immediately, but one didn't assist a cosmic immortal without setting terms.
"If I do this, can you promise me she'll be alright? Not just alive, but sheltered and fed and happy."
'Happiness is a subjective definition that cannot be-'
"Okay, then alive with all her basic needs met."
'Agreed. In exchange, we remove all memory of the man you were.'
"Don't want it known that 'the great and mighty Celestials' require the help of a mere mutant?"
'Humans are social creatures. Bonds do not break with time or distance and weaken the integrity of the Gatekeeper.'
"You've recruited before… What happened? Did they go insane?"
The Celestial didn't respond. Nate realized he could never return to his body – it had dissolved. He could haunt the world and hope to one day return. Like Maddie. Or he could move forward: protect the universe and guarantee the safety of the woman he loved and their child.
It was no choice at all.
…
To Be Continued…