Gomennasai for the long wait. There have been some changes in my life and it seems that all I can do here is reading, without any success in writing. Hopefully this is not going to be as bad as I think it is. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you let me know your thoughts. Please read!
"So, you have something to discuss with your little sister?" Kotoko avoided his eyes, looking intently up to the beautiful, small white clouds that where passing by, floating slowly. "Is everything fine with your family?"
"Actually we had a guest last night, and I think you should be informed about it." Naoki noticed how Kotoko wasn't looking at him, as if those clouds were more interesting. He didn't like the feeling of aloofness towards him. Not from her. Not at all.
"I'm glad you are having guests, but I don't think that's something that I need to know. Now I only have 4 more minutes, so if there is something more, please be swift and…"
"Your father was our guest. He had a few drinks with Father and told us about your idyllic relationship with Ikezawa and how happy he is about his perfect son in law." This time, Naoki didn't bother to hide the distaste he harbored for Kinnosuke. The bitterness and anger were obvious in his voice, even if his face did not show any of those. Kotoko couldn't help to feel stupidly happy to see what she interpreted as jealousy and protectiveness for her, but soon enough she had the word 'sister' echoing in her head.
"I'm clearly missing your point. Is it bad that your family knows that I'm in a relationship with Kin-chan? It is not something I'm trying to hide from anyone, you know…"
"So what, are you proud of him? Are you happy with that guy? You said it yourself, there is a reason behind that twisted relationship!"
"You know what Irie-kun? I don't need to hear this…" Kotoko turned to leave but Naoki wasn't done, no sir, so he grabbed her waist to stop her from leaving. She had to quickly crouch to free herself from his hands, the pain was unbearable. She didn't even realize her wincing nor the tears that she inadvertently shed. Naoki immediately crouched beside her, his eyes trying to find the source of her pain.
"I… I have to go back…" Kotoko took a couple of deep breaths and slowly got up again, while Naoki didn't know if he could touch her to help her up. "Don't think I'm intending to hide Kin-chan from anyone. It's fine if people realize about us being together. What I do want you to understand is that my relationship with Kin-chan is mine to handle, I know what I'm doing and I'll appreciate if you just stay out of it, you don't need to feel any kind of obligation with me because I'm not your sister. We are not anything Irie-kun. Just stop coming here or looking for me anywhere else!"
"Shigeo told my father you are going to get married! What the hell Kotoko! Just why are you doing this? You can't get married to that idiot, you need to tell me what's happening to you! Is he threating you? Are you pregnant? Just talk to me!" Naoki felt the urge to grab her shoulders and shake her into sense, but even though he was sure she was injured he didn't know exactly where. He was going insane, his Kotoko was being trashed and she wasn't letting him help her. She wasn't even complaining!
"P… preg… pregnant?! Me? Oh god… oh god oh god oh god…" Kotoko was livid, she fell on her knees trying to remember her last period date. It was a long time ago, that's for sure, but when? Was there a possibility of her being pregnant? As far as she remembered, Kinnosuke wore a condom when they had sex, but she was kind of drunk then, so her memories were not trustworthy. Suddenly the pain in her ribs disappeared, she could only think in one thing: a pregnancy test.
Naoki could not tear his eyes from Kotoko's face and not for pleasant reasons. He was never a spiritual person but in his mind he was praying for her not to be pregnant of that imbecile. He didn't offer the option because he believed it to be true! Not his Kotoko, not the most absolutely marvelous person he held not even close to his heart but inside of it. He was desperate to do something to help her, but sometimes she seemed too much in love with Ikezawa and Naoki did not know what to do. He was not used to this feeling of powerlessness, but again, Kotoko was the only human able to turn his world upside down.
"I have to go; I need to go now!" She turned and started running towards the closest pharmacy that she could remember. She was in panic, not even able to think that she didn't have a cent on her. Naoki was running after her without great effort other than trying to ignore his aching heart, because if she was scared of a pregnancy, that meant she and that guy had sex… He was fully aware of how pity and inopportune this thought was and yet his mind was holding on to it, the absurd pain also keeping its place, tooth and claw.
Kotoko finally arrived to her not so much desired destination and without the classic hesitation or embarrassment of any other girl she rapidly asked for a pregnancy test, clarifying for it to be the best available. Behind her Naoki was slightly trembling. If they were touching each other they would notice how their hearts were beating at the same speed and rhythm, they were even shaking with the same pace. The cashier asked Kotoko for payment and she looked frantically in all of her pockets for some cash without success.
"Maybe your boyfriend can pay for it, it's not that pricy anyway…"
"B… boyfriend? Oh no…" Kotoko thought, for a couple of seconds, that Kinnosuke was behind her. She was paralyzed with fear until a familiar voice spoke up for her.
"Here. Please keep the change. Let's go Kotoko." Naoki took her arm as delicately as he could, afraid of touching one of her injuries. It was then when Kotoko realized that he was shaking too. She looked at his eyes and found something similar to anxiety.
"Irie-kun?" Her voice was full of doubts and fear. He locked eyes with her for just a minute, enough for them to calm down a little. He led her to the pharmacy's exit.
"I'm with you, understood?"
"Yes… I'm so…" Tears interrupted her words.
"I don't think you should do this in any bathroom. Let's go to my place."
"No! Your family…"
"No that place. I mean my apartment again."
"Oh, that's better. Thank you, really, thank you…" And she hugged him, stopping him. She hugged him tightly and he hugged her back softly, afraid of hurting her but still holding her as if she was a porcelain doll. They took a cab and, again, he held her hand the whole 15 minutes' trip. During their commute he tried not to look at her but refused to let go of her hand once she tried. He was mad at her, he was scared, he was heartbroken and yet he was silently holding her hand.
They entered his apartment and Kotoko stood still in the bathroom entrance, looking intently to the knob.
"Go, don't delay this." Naoki's lifeless voice reached Kotoko's ears, but still she wasn't able to move.
"I know delaying the process is not going to change the outcome. Believe me, I know. But I'm so terrified…" A tear fell on Kotoko's hand, which was now located on top of the bathroom's knob but uselessly since she was incapable of entering. She still was slightly trembling as he was too, her heart was shattering to pieces as his was, and the utmost fear was being feed of her soul, as his was. The only difference was that Naoki had a bit more of courage than she had, so he spoke again but now he conveyed coldness and authority. "You are going to do this right now. Don't make me repeat myself. Go."
Kotoko complied and went to the bathroom softly closing the door behind her. It was only when she was out of sight that Naoki allowed himself to show his emotions. His hands were viciously rolled into tight fists and he could not help to sit on the bare floor. He felt his future vanish in front of him: Kotoko loved Ikezawa enough to have sex with him and now they were going to get married and have a kid, thus they were going to be a family. "Kotoko Ikezawa… No… It wasn't supposed to be this way! The bastard is going to hit them to death and I'm not sure if I will be able to stop myself from pulling out his limbs one by one… My future… my future with her is dead…" He embraced his own knees and rested his forehead on them for what felt like forever, until he heard the bathroom door being open. He stood up jumping and almost ran to her. He needed to hear the news of his upcoming lame, bland and pointless future without her as soon as possible. That way, he could go back to what he was before her. Because maybe, in that way, he would remember how easy and effortless was his existence before her and that would help him to forget her. "As if forgetting her was actually possibly…"
AN: I'm not going to compromise with an update date. i will compromise to work hard to update as quick as possible in my now werid life. Please leave your review!