A/N - Okay, so. Just gonna set this right here.

And walk away for someone else to find.

Don't. Mind. Me.

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Naruto

Song used for this chapter - PRXZM - Royalty

When I woke up music was still pounding in my ears, but a heaviness dropped on my stomach. My eyes snapped open immediately just as my headphones were being pulled away from me. The brightness of the room temporarily blinded me, but within a second I realized that Tenten was straddling my waist with a big smile on her face.

"Sakuraaa, wake up," she whined out, leaning down as I blinked again, "It's already one in the afternoon, you can't sleep all day."

My throat was dry as I swallowed, the echoing taste of beer and various alcohol never truly residing after last night. Moving my hand to rub at my eyes, I croaked, "You're still here."

"Sorry, I tried to keep her from waking you up, but I could only keep it up for so long." The soft explanation came from Ino as she stood beside us. I peaked at her through my fingers, eyes flickering to hers. But when I made contact with them, she looked away suddenly with a nervous smile, "It's only been a day, but you can clearly get how she is by now."

A lazy smile pulled my lips as I sighed and dropped my hand, "What do you mean? Clearly we've been friends for years. Isn't that right Tenten?"

She beamed at me while nodding vigorously, causing me to smile. Then, unexpectedly, she leaned forward and kissed me on the nose. I blinked in surprise but she merely bit her lip and mumbled, "Thanks for taking care of me last night. I heard I was a handful."

"More like an armful," I joked while giving her another smile, "But I didn't mind. You feeling alright?"

"Better than ever," she replied, with a grin as she leaned back, "The question is are you feeling alright? You've been sleeping forever."

I looked away, not knowing how to reply. If I had managed to get to sleep at a decent hour, I'm sure I would have managed to wake up at one as well. But...

Ino caught my eyes wandering, a small frown at her lips as she watched me.

Instantly, a smile pulled my face, "Yeah, I'm fine. Crazy party last night wore me the hell out."

Tenten wiggled her hips on top of me, causing me to grab her waist in reaction as I attempted to stop the stirring I felt. Going so long without sleeping with a girl was starting to get to me, but Tenten didn't seem the least bit bothered as she smiled innocently and announced, "Which is why I thought you'd need some breakfast to restore your energy."

My eyebrow raised curiously, "Oh yeah?"

"Yes! I've made you a warriors meal. I'll get your plate!"

Just like that, she was hopping off of me and scurrying towards the kitchen. Slipping out a small laugh, I sat up using my stomach as I rubbed at my eyes again with a yawn tumbling from my lips.

Fuck, I could sleep for another week and a half if I were being honest.

It wasn't until I was in the middle of tenderly swiping my fingertip across my stitches that I noticed Ino was still hovering above me. I peaked at her again curiously with a smile, "Sleep alright?"

"Um... yeah," she mumbled before falling silent.

Honestly, I couldn't blame her. Running my fingers through my hair, I sighed, wondering what I could possibly say after last night. Before I could think of anything, Ino was asking quietly, "Are you... are you alright? Did you really sleep okay?"

My eyes snapped to hers in surprise. I was one hundred percent sure that if I hadn't bothered to say anything, she would have never broached the subject. People usually cringed away from awkward situations, or at least that was what I was used to. If things got any deeper than the shallow depths just on the surface, they found a way to avoid going any further.

So for her to ask straight out like that...

I gave the smoothest smile I could pull out, "I slept like a baby."

Her eyes never wavered as she watched me closely, as if she were trying to dig deeper by just her gaze alone. Rubbing at my neck, I pretend to admit sheepishly, "I was just having a bad trip from the pills last night, I guess. Sorry if I worried you."

She didn't have a chance to say anything further before Tenten was bouncing back with my plate of food. And a warriors breakfast indeed was before me. Two slices of toast with butter and jam slathered on top.

I laughed in amusement, but ate it graciously.

The entire time I continued to feel Ino's gaze on me.

xXx

The actual University portion of Northridge wasn't anything out of the ordinary. It seemed like whatever energy anyone had during the weekend had complete depleted when classes began. As morning rolled around, everyone walked half dead to whatever lecture they had to make, including myself.

With nothing but a piece of paper accompanying me, I struggled to figure out where I was going. A couple of times I was forced to stop one of the students walking by as my watch threatened I was a mere five minutes away from being late.

Again, everyone was completely generous with helping me out.

When the late morning turned into noon, I was graced with the knowledge that both Tenten and Ino were in one of my classes. Tenten was completely ecstatic to see me walk through the doors, shoving her things to the floor to make room for me to sit next to them. Ino simply smiled in greeting before we all fell silent to write notes.

Afterwards we ate lunch together before going our separate ways. When I had managed to get to my second to last class, I saw Zaku and Hiden were dozed off in a corner, but they both greeted me with grins when I tapped their shoulders. Apparently Tayuya was in this class as well, but she decided to skip out.

Finally as last class came time to rear it's welcoming face, I was greeted with unfamiliar faces. Which was a bummer, I was hoping out of the four I would at least have three with some members of the gang, but it looked like I was left to fend for myself early in the morning and late afternoon.

I guess drained would be the right word for how I felt by the time the day finished, but there wasn't a point keeping it up with Tenten demanding me and her go out to eat in the group message. Just as I walked inside, I turned heel and walked right back out to meet her at the cafe.

As time went on everyone else decided to join, telling me and Tenten to wait up for another half hour before we started eating. I didn't mind too much, Tenten held my attention as usual. We laughed about what we could remember that happened at the party, and again she thanked me for taking care of her.

I waved her off, "It's seriously no big deal."

"Can I tell you something pretty weird?" She asked with a bite of her lip, rubbing at her elbow as we sat at the table together. I frowned slightly at her tone, she didn't sound so serious often. But soon enough her eyes were snapping up to me as she admitted, "For some reason I trusted you. Like, seriously the second I laid my eyes on you. I don't know if it was because you popped pills too, or what, but... I don't know... I think that's why I kinda just passed out there, because I knew you were right next to me. That's really weird, right?"

I smiled slightly at her nervousness, "Nah Tenten, that isn't weird. Plus it would be harder to find a reason not to trust me. You're really good friends with Tayuya, which means I wouldn't just leave hanging to dry like that."

"I think that's another reason I kind of just, you know, passed out with you there. I've known Tayuya for years, and she's mentioned you a couple of times. Not a lot but I kind of remember your name being brought up. So, I mean just knowing you guys were friends before she even came here, I don't know. You didn't seem like too much of a stranger. Plus you guys are practically identical with the way you act," Tenten continued to gush, causing me to blink with surprise.

Tayuya mentioned me? We were so young back then.

But I guess it was hard to forget that shit hole... I knew from experience...

"Seriously Tenten, she already thinks I'm gunning for her, stop telling her all this pointless shit before she seriously starts thinking I have a crush," Tayuya complained as she plopped on the seat next to Tenten.

A grin slipped my face as I winked, which earned me a glare as Tenten giggled. A few seconds later, the rest of the gang came strolling in. Zaku and Hiden went to the nearest table and dragged it over while Yahiko and Konan helped with the chairs. Soon after that, we were a small little clumped crowd at the corner of the cafe. Temari had decided to sit next to me, patting my back as she thanked me again for taking care of Tenten, but it was hard to focus on anything besides the fact that I noticed Ino was missing.

"She's at work," Tayuya informed as she read my mind.

"Which is exactly why we came here to bug her," Tenten said with a tooth aching smile.

Before I could ask what she meant, I heard a huge exasperated sigh leave someone's lips just from behind me. I turned around and couldn't help but laugh at the distressing look on Ino's face as she stood there with a notepad and a pen.

"Are you guys fucking serious," she demanded, giving us all a bewildered look.

Yahiko simply raised his hand lazily, calling out, "Yeah, lemme get a pumpkin pie."

After that, if only to bug her further, they started tumbling out their orders all at once.

I seriously couldn't stop laughing as Ino began shouting at all of them to shut up, and dying even further when they simply refused. They were causing a scene, the rest of the cafe was literally staring at us, but they didn't seem to care. I shook my head in amusement as I crossed my arms, settling to just watch them but when Tayuya caught my eyes with a grin she peer pressured me to order too.

I did so of course, it was hard to refuse. Complete idiots or not, as I said before, everything about this place was infectious. I couldn't help but join in on the noise.

Any sound was always welcoming.

X

While everyone had wandered off and left after we ate, I stuck around. Tenten had offered I come over to have a bit of fun, but I passed even though I very tempted to go. She pouted so I promised I'd make it over tomorrow, but I had more important things to focus on.

Like seeing if I could get a job here as well.

The last couple of days had been fun, but nothing had really changed on how I felt. Sure I was gone for that mansion now, but sooner or later I would have to go back and I didn't want to do so without a bigger step towards leaving for good on my own.

Plus, I needed something to keep my attention...

As I waited I read a book from my phone and sipped on my coffee slowly. I wasn't sure how much time had passed by, but it was enough for Ino to check on me again. She wandered over with a bite of her lip, glancing at the empty messy table I was sitting at. Watching me for a second, she started slowly, "Uh... did you want something else?"

"Nah, I was just waiting for you not to be too busy," I replied while putting down my phone, "I had a question but didn't want to bug you during rush hour for dinner."

"Okay?" She prompted, tucking away her notepad.

I smiled, "I was wondering if this place was hiring?"

She blinked, seeming surprised. Her eyes flickered down and when I followed her gaze I noticed she was looking at my wrist. "That... I mean we usually are since no one really feels like working when they all have enough money already but... Titans working is kind of... unorthodox?"

I raised an eyebrow, "I thought anyone working here was weird, but when I heard you say you were held up at your job I thought it might have been a common thing."

"Not very. I mean some students do, but it's two handfuls at most. Most of the people on campus that work here are hired from the outside," she explained with a frown.

"Ah makes sense," I nodded, noticing that the servers walking about were a bit older. Glancing back up at her, I asked, "So why do you work?"

"Oh... um..."

Instantly I lifted up my hand, "Never mind, it must be personal. My reasons are pretty personal too. So, do you think I can get a position?"

Ino bit her lip again, glancing back before mumbling, "I'll talk to the manager. But can you give me a day to get back to you?"

"Sure," I answered happily, grabbing my phone and tucking in my chair, "Just let me know. Not a big rush, but mention I'm ready to start whenever."

"Alright," she said slowly as she watched me shift around. With another final smile, I moved to leave but her blurted question halted me completely, "Were you having a panic attack?"

My body literally froze as I snapped my eyes back to her, completely caught off guard. She avoided my gaze as she rubbed her arm waiting for an answer, but my voice was literally lost.

We stood like that for three very long seconds.

Managing to find some strength to speak, I still replied weakly, "What?"

"Were you having a panic attack?" She repeated.

As if I didn't hear her the first time.

As if her soft question wasn't loud enough to silence the entire room as everything fell to the background.

I was asking her again hoping that she would suddenly find herself and drop the question, but instead she seemed to step forward eagerly at the opportunity to find out an answer.

My heart began to pick up speed as I muttered, "I don't know what you're talking about."

A split second later, I was moving to leave but she followed me out the door.

"I was watching the entire time. You didn't notice when the door opened at first. I wasn't trying to spy, but I was trying to be quiet just in case you fell asleep already. I thought you were just having a moment, but when you picked up the vase I got worried," she explained as I continued to stride as fast as I could away.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I repeated through clenched teeth, all the while wanting to scream at myself for being so stupid in the first place. I should have had more control, I knew they were just in the other room. Yet I still grabbed the fucking vase as if no one would notice if I smashed the thing into pieces.

"My little brother, Sam, has panic attacks a lot," she continued rushing out as she followed, "He's thirteen. He just started getting them recently, maybe a year or two ago. You feel like you can't breathe right? Your heart starts racing and your throat constricts. The room seems like it's getting smaller and your body can't move like there are weights holding them down, so you feel like you're just stuck there-"

I whirled around, causing her to stumble to a stop as I stared her directly into the eyes. Unable to stop myself, I practically pleaded, "Please... just. Keep what you saw to yourself. And leave it alone."

She watched me for a moment, but it was the only moment she had to say anything in response.

A second after that I was moving as quickly as I could to get away.

xXx

"Thanks so much for the help," Tenten sighed out in relief as she dropped her pencil as if she completed a boss level task.

I simply smiled as I rubbed my neck, attempting to work out the knot that built there from bending over the table for hours trying to complete our homework. "No problem. Honestly if you hadn't called, I wouldn't have done it."

Which was true. After my talk with Ino I had rushed home and locked myself in my room. The entire time I searched the internet, feeling weak to my bones as I realized that I was more fucked up than I thought. I never thought of my episodes as panic attacks, I always chalked them up as a moment of weakness that I couldn't stop as I spiraled out of control.

But the more I read, the more I could relate to the pure definition of it and the people who spoke about what they went through as well.

It wasn't enough that I was already struggling to convince myself I wasn't as pathetic as my mother always preached, but to discover that I had such a deep psychological issue it was named by medical science plummeted my chances to believe so.

I was better than that. Than this.

And I refused to admit that ultimately my mother and her treatment effected my life, after so many years of telling myself it didn't. Yet even so, I found myself being more effected. After reading every link on the internet about the issue, I found myself withdrawing. I tried hard to keep it from being obvious, but as a week went by it was getting harder and harder to come up with excuses.

So when Tenten called, I caved and came over.

Honestly, she helped me feel better anyway.

"If Tenten didn't have friends like you and Ino around, I swear she'd be stuck here forever," Temari joked lazily as she passed by to plop on the couch.

My eyes wandered to Ino, who sat at the other end of the table next to Tenten. I didn't know Tenten would call her up for help as well, or I would have never shown up. But it hadn't mattered much, because the entire time we worked on homework she hardly spoke. It went unnoticed as Tenten chattered away, and I tried my best to keep up with her in conversation so she wouldn't realize that Ino seemed abnormally quiet, but as of today I was too tired to give anymore energy about anything else but attempting to get to sleep.

I stood up to grab my things, and instantly Tenten went pout mode, "You're leaving already?"

"You know as well as I do how early we have to wake up in the morning, brat," I replied with a smile, ruffling her hair. She groaned in distress, but I laughed, "Come on, it's getting late enough as it is."

"Let them get out of here, Ten. You need to get to bed anyway, because I swear to god if I have to spend another twenty minutes in the morning trying to get you up I'm going to leave you here tomorrow," Temari warned from the couch.

I gave Tenten a look, whispering, "She sounds hella serious."

"I know, scary right?" She whispered. Then with a huff, she stood up and opened her arms, "Fine. But I'm not giving you pills for the help. You'll have to settle for a hug."

I rolled my eyes as I bent down slightly to wrap my arms around her, she was a whole head shorter than me. "You're getting really cheap now days, you know that?"

She stuck out her tug and skipped away. Shaking my head, I continued to place things in my bag while sneaking a glance at Ino. She continued to sit there, picking at her notebook like she wasn't sure what to do. Scratching my scalp, I said quietly, "Let's go. I'll walk you home. "

Her eyes slipped to mine before looking away and mumbling out, "No it's fine, I can get there."

"It's late. I'm not going to let you walk by yourself," I replied, the firmness in my voice leaving no room for argument. Sighing, she began picking up her things as well.

"Message us when you get in, alright?" Temari called as Ino and I moved towards the door, "I'd hate to whirlwind all the way to your places just to find out your safe and sound. Because trust me, if that happens, you won't be."

My eyebrows raised in surprise as I peaked over at Tenten who was walking by. She mouthed 'super scary' before disappearing down the hall. Laughing, I assured I'd make contact before we left their apartment.

And so stretched the most uncomfortable night time stroll of my life.

We walked quietly for quite awhile. I mostly followed her as she walked slightly ahead, leading us to where she lived. After a few more minutes passed though, she broke the silence.

"I spoke to the manager about you working at the cafe," she informed softly, her breath smoking the cold air.

I blinked in surprise. I had completely forgotten about attempting to get a job there, my mind in a constant frenzy since the last time I was there. Picking up the pace, I glanced at her with an offered smile, "Seriously?"

She looked up at me, her icy blue eyes as cold as the air around us. A small smile pulled her lips before she looked away, "Yeah. He said you can start whenever you wanted. He also might have mumbled that he'd lose his job if he ever thought of turning down a titan."

I snorted out a laugh, shaking my head, "Jeez. Titaniums must look like total pricks when people notice all the privileges we get."

"I will admit I used to think the same way before I met Tayuya," Ino said, laughing a little as well.

"I thought you met Tenten first?" I asked curiously.

"Technically I met them around the same time," she explained with a soft smile, "They came into the cafe one day and when I came to clean the table and pick up my tip, I saw Tayuya's number scribbled on a piece of paper."

I rolled my eyes, "Please tell me she didn't seriously make a lame move like that."

Ino laughed, "No. It turns out it was Tenten's doing. The next day during class, she was saying that Tayuya kept muttering how cute I was."

"Well she wasn't lying," I replied with a shrug.

It was only when she fell quiet that I realized what I said.

I gave her a glance to see her blushing, or maybe it was just shivering temperature that had her cheeks that red. Either way, she ended up quietly muttering a thanks.

I simply cleared my throat and pushed forward, "So what happened after that?"

"Well Tenten and I had class everyday, so we just ended up sitting next to each other after that. Eventually she started to invite me over for their little get-togethers and kick backs. Soon after, I was pretty much adopted by the group," Ino finished of with another smile.

I smiled as well, finding the story heart warming.

But then I began to wonder.

"So you and Tayuya? Did you guys, well.. you know, start talking?" I asked, unable to help my curiosity.

"It's kind of... complicated," Ino admitted quietly.

I frowned, thinking back when Tayuya mumbled how they were just friends.

"You guys are… practically the same," she muttered, causing my eyebrows to pull low in confusion

Scratching at my scar where the stitches used to be, a habit I seemed to have picked up, I replied , "You know. Tenten was saying the same thing, and I don't really see it."

"It's hard not to, honestly." She said with a small smile. "You both seem like you're always smiling. Like there is some on going joke that the rest of the world doesn't get or know."

My lips pulled slightly downward as past Tayuya flashed within my mind. She was always quiet back then, her face emotionless and her eyes void. "We weren't always that way..."

"She's told me, if only a bit, about what it was like being back at home," Ino admitted, causing my heart to begin picking up speed. I nervously wondered how much Tayuya had slipped out and if any of it pertained to me. My eyes darted to Ino's, and I realized she had already been watching me, "She's mentioned you. I didn't realize it at first, but when Tenten said you were her good friend I figured you were the one brought up from time to time. When I asked that night, she said you both had gone through a lot."

I swallowed at my dry throat, asking quietly, "She's… alright. Right? She doesn't…"

My words fell off, unable to find the proper wording. Ino merely looked away, mumbling, "There's a saying, you know... That the saddest people smile the most."

I looked away, staring into the distance as I slipped my hands in my pockets. Within my mind, I couldn't count a single moment since I've been here that I hadn't seen Tayuya smiling.

I wholeheartedly hoped she wasn't as fucked up as me.

"But there's a lot of sayings, and a lot of things that just seem to stick with people," she continued on quietly as we walked, "Most of them I don't understand. Like with our generation it seems like there's a trend, that a sense of independence and detachment is more important than relying on people. Like having friends is fine and dandy, but even thinking or asking for help is... unfathomable."

I set my jaw, mumbling, "Because it's no one else's problem. If you can't deal with it yourself, and it's your own fucking issue, than what can you expect from everyone else?"

Frost blue eyes pulled to mine as she smiled sadly, "Yeah... you guys are practically identical."

Silence settled between us, but with a couple more steps we reached her building.

I stood there, not knowing what to do as Ino turned to me. I didn't get a chance to say much before she was thanking me softly and moving to leave.

But within a couple of steps, she paused and glanced back at me. Quietly, so quietly that I almost didn't hear her over the restless leaves as the wind picked up, she admitted one last thing before leaving for good.

The entire walk home, it was all I could think about.

Tayuya had a problem sleeping at night.

So, yeah. Here's this. Do with it what you want.

You know what's funny. As I posted this, and looked at the alerts sent to my phone, I was thinking, "Man... Here I am uploading another story and I still have Forlorn out there."

Lul.

Listen I'm sorry. I have to write what I'm diggin'. And I'm DIGGIN this. But, just know I do feel a slightly bad that I haven't updated that yet.

But look. This is shiny! This is new! Oooh how it sparkles!

Read review, tell me what you think as you are captivated by the sparkles!

Shycadet loves, runs as you are distracted.