A/N - Let's leave this here real quick.

And then I can profusly apologize after your read the chapter!

:D

DISCLAIMER - I do not own Naruto

Song used for this chapter - Blackbear - if i could i would feel nothing

Tayuya kept having this frown on her face.

All night passed by, and I couldn't not notice like everyone else. We waited a long week for Saturday to roll up so we could hang out, and she was being relatively distant and quiet. My eyes kept hovering over her as we all sat around in the room, drinks in our hands as the music pounded in the back ground, but I couldn't pin her mood. She was either not feeling it or she was in deep thought.

"Alright I'm drunk enough to dance," Tenten announced randomly, shattering the light conversation we were in. My eyes snapped away in attention, and I made the mistake of locking my eyes with hers. Drunk Tenten was down right dangerous, and I was trying all night to dodge her. But the second she caught my gaze, a slow playful smile pulled her lips as she asked sweetly, "Sakura, going to show me a good time?"

I licked my lips with a slight smile pulling, her suggestive tone reeling me in, "Now didn't you promise Temari you'd be good?"

"I don't remember promising you I'd be good" she said a small pout, the sexiest one I had ever seen with her teeth dragging across her lip.

I shifted, eyes falling on Temari who was giving me a narrowed look. I threw up my hands, showing I wasn't the one stirring trouble, but she didn't look like she gave much of a shit once Tenten slipped her hand in mine and began to tug.

Oh god, she was going to get both of us in trouble.

"But Tentennn," Ino whined, causing Tenten's attention to waver. "I thought you said I was your dancing buddy tonight?"

My eyes wandered to Ino, and my eyes followed the way she leaned forward with a slow teasing smile. Christ, they were both a force to be reckoned with while tipsy, I couldn't even stop myself from staring.

"Oh my god, you're right," Tenten cried out, tackling her with a giggle as they toppled onto the couch.

I shook my head with a laugh, rolling my eyes to Yahiko who threw up his bottle in cheers, "Never saw a bullet so narrowly dodged. Ten out of ten for grace."

"Taking two points for not going for it, but a beautiful dodge all the same," Zaku continued to joke with a grin as Hiden faked a crowding cheer.

"You kidding, after our lifestyle? We're an expert at dodging," Tayuya muttered with a smile cracking her lips after taking a sip of her beer. I snorted at her dark sense of humor and she only shrugged before annoucing, "Going to grab a drink."

"I'll head down with you," I volunteered. No doubt the gang would want orders, plus I didn't mind slipping some alone time with my first friend ever made.

Ino gave me an interested look, but I only winked.

"Grab Konan and me a plat would you," Yahiko called out as I stood and wandered to Tayuya.

"Make that three plats," Zaku added.

"Four," Temari chimed.

"Would you idiots settle down, I know what you all drink," Tayuya said with a roll of her eyes.

"Sakura, Sakura," Tenten bounced over, grabbing me arm and pressing it into her chest as she begged, "Are you grabbing me one too?"

"Yes sweet heart, whatever you want," I taunted with a rustle of her hair. She beamed, looking absolutely pleased just as Ino had wandered over beside her with tilt of her head. I gave her a glance before teasing, "I'm guessing you drink platinum too?"

"If I didn't know any better, I would swear you're trying to get me drunk," Ino asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

"Now why would I do anything like that when I'm simply trying to be polite," I teased, eyes falling to her chest and body with a smooth smile pulling my lips. I was fucking with her, having a few laughs at her reaction. The bright little blush on her cheeks made it all worth it, and so was that flustered bite of her lip.

"Let's go dork, I'm trying to get drunk," Tayuya promoted.

I leaned back with my smooth smile still on my face, "Getting drunk, aye. Let's get drinks."

"I thought you'd never ask," she joked with a small shove of my shoulder. I laughed as I followed her, hands slipping my pockets as we exited the room and moved down the hall.

The party we were at was loud and vibrating. The music practically rattled my bone as we wandered out into the halls of packed college kids. The volume of the music alone was sure to be breaking Northridge policy, but I think that was minor compared to the finely assembled amount of alcohol and everyone's friendly green leaf. One cop coming to check on us was all it would have took for pentalites to start being issued like candy.

But no one seemed to give a shit.

They danced away inside the penthouse that was completely different from mine, clogging up the halls as they jumped and rave. I had to admit, they made the antics look hella fun. I almost felt like dancing myself as I brushed across a cute girl with a pulling smile, but before I could try anything though, Tayuya nabbed my arm and pulled me away.

"Some wingman you are," I complained, side glancing her with a grin as I fell back in step with her.

"I'm doing you a favor, Sakura. That girl is a mistake," she muttered, taking a glance over her shoulder. The female now leaned against the wall, eyeing us as we left. Almost the second Tayuya caught her gaze, the girl smiled suggestively.

I turned back around with a laugh, "Oh god, don't tell me you fell for a cute girl trap."

"All I wanted was a nice little one night stand, but she ended up being bat fucking crazy," Tayuya grumbled as we finally arrived to where all the expensive bottles were stocked.

I continued to laugh in disbelief, stomach aching at image of Tayuya getting played. The sight tickled me just a little too much, I could tell by the way she shot me an annoyed glare. I only smiled, pushing at her shoulder, "Ay, it isn't my fault you fucked up and it's hilarious."

"Shut the fuck up," she muttered.

Despite her warning, I continued to laugh loudly as I looked at the bottles in front of us. Eyeing a certain vodka I recognized, I blinked in surprise, "They have everything here, man. Didn't this come off the shelf ages ago?"

"Aged and ripe to drink," Tayuya answered while bending down to the cooler of beers. Grabbing two, she turned back to me and continued, "Shit cost more than some of our trust funds, and we're popping it in a party like this."

My head jerked back in disbelief as I looked at the bottle with new appreciation. Giving her a glance, I said, "Well it would be a crime if I didn't take celebrating shot."

"Knock yourself out, as long as we get these beers for those assholes."

She didn't have to say any more as I tilted the bottle towards the sky and took two huge gulps. My chest burned and my eyes watered as I pulled the bottle away, but I smiled through the harsh pain and croaked, "What a time to be alive."

Another smile slipped Tayuya's features before she began to laugh. Shaking her head, she ordered, "Come on, idiot. Let's go."

"Yeah I'm coming," I huffed out, grabbing my arm full of beer and managing to slip two of in my pocket. As we carefully walked back, she began casually, "You know, speaking of girls, I know a few more you should steer clear from..."

My eyebrows raised in interest, "Tell me straight up so I won't get embarrassed like you did."

She glanced back at me with a glare, but I only grinned. Rolling her eyes, she turned forward as she muttered, "Never mind dickhead. Learn your own lessons then."

"Oh come on," I complained, but she refused to tell me. Huffing, I accused, "You're a fucking child dude. You haven't grown up since."

She snorted, "You kidding me? You still act like that rich little brat I met since day one."

I accidentally laughed, unable to block the memory of what I used to wear outside when we were kids. It wasn't fair, I was forced in those frilly fucking things to 'ensure the status of our household'. A frown slowly began to pull my lips, and just like that the joking memory became sour as I thought of how my mother used to scream about looking like a dirty little boy.

"You know what I've been thinking about?" Tayuya asked, snatching me out of thought.

My eyes snapped to hers, and I caught her watching me before I broke out my well practiced fake smile and asked, "I don't know, what?"

"I keep thinking about... what happened when I left."

My polished smile slowly fell from my lips as I remembered sitting outside in the woods alone without Tayuya, but imagining her there all the while. My hand began to twitch shut around the neck of one of the bottles as a jolt passed through me, I could almost hear the shatter of the wine bottle against the wall my mother had thrown, inches away from missing me just a few weeks after.

Tayuya glanced back at me as I remained silent, and I struggled to fight off the memory of me throwing rocks at a tree with the same precision and intent as my mother had. I wondered what would hit first, my arm breaking thrown rocks or mom's swaying wine bottles.

The tensing in my posture had given me away, I could tell by the frown that was now pulling Tayuya's lips. But before I was forced to answer, we reached the room with the gang still there. They all had continued to sit around in random chairs and couches within what we assumed was a rec room.

I went straight to the coffee table in the middle of the room before carefully putting my carrying beers on the wood surface. Just as I managed not to break anything, I took the two from my pocket and spotted Ino sitting in a beanbag chair with Tenen curled on her lap. Tenten's teddy bear brown eyes darted to me the second I noticed her. She pouted, as if she were sleepy and asking to go to bed. Smiling, I shook my head and walked over to her, handing her the beer. "You can't sleep yet, squirt. I went all the way down stairs to get this beer for you."

"But I'm tired," Tenten whined.

Ino rolled her eyes, looking me up and down before asking, "Did you bring my beer?"

My eyes narrowed at hers, but she only smiled sweetly. Shaking my head, I handed both of them their beers before walking away.

"Thanks for the hook up guys," Yahiko said loudly with a grin, snatching one from the bunch grouped on the coffee table. Konan was the only one that seemed genuinely appreciative as she smiled quietly at me. Zaku, on the other hand, only seemed concerned with chugging his as fast as he could.

And of course, after everyone was done snatching their own, I didn't have one left for me.

I stood there in disbelief, looking around at everyone as they enjoyed their fresh bottle. Taking in a breath, I moved to complain, but Tayuya appeared next to me before I could speak. She handed me her open bottle and muttered, "Here. We can share."

I didn't bother questioning her offer, only took a healthy swig of the bottle in thanks.

"Cute," Temari commented as she passed by, plopping on the couch with Hiden before offering, "How about we pass around the last blunt before the night gets too late.

"Best idea I've heard all day," Zaku replied with a grin as he pulled the drug out his beanie at the ready.

And what a marvelous sight it was, already perfectly rolled and ready to spark.

"Who starts this time?" Konan asked in interst as she leaned forward from Yahiko's lap.

I pondered the question as I wandered back to my original seat, but Tenten seemed to have snapped out of her sleepiness at the offer as she eagerly answered, "It's my turn!"

I chuckled at her enthusiasm, and watched as she quickly got up to grab the blunt before surprisingly dropping onto my lap to spark it. Thankfully Temari seemed efficiently drunk enough to refrain from glaring at me, but she did wander her eyes over as Tenten got comfortable and leaned back into me.

Then with a part of her lips, she sparked up so smoothly I couldn't help but stare as she slowly inhaled before the smoke slowmotion tumbled from her lips

"Christ," I heard Tayuya mutter to herself, catching my attention as I glanced at her. She was watching Tenten as well, and I knew instantly we were thinking the same thing.

And the aching thoughts hurt.

Shifting to look back at me, Tenten smiled sweetly and asked, "Are you partaking?"

"She'd be called out if she didn't," Yahiko joked from across the room.

I rolled my eyes with a smile before taking a hit of my own.

We chilled as we smoked, talking about random Northridge topics. The newest gossip, what kids just shipped in, and what penalties were just handed out. Most of it I had already heard circling around, but a few I hadn't gotten whiff of. And as I sat with them in that room, I had to admit I couldn't help but feeling like this was a sense of home I was robbed of.

Back at the hills parties were almost like a competition. Like there was a reward for how much you could drink, how many girls and guys you could fuck, and who had the most money to blow with buying everyone shots. But here, in this room slowly filling with foggy smoke, I felt a completely different vibe. A feeling I don't think I ever had the privilege of ever realizing existed.

Tay managed to grow up with this. These good vibes

And I managed to survive long enough to glimpse at it for myself, if only for a moment..

But it only made me wonder if they were still competing with each other back home with their magazine amounts of shots and street long lines of drugs. Wondered if my mother was still partying in the kitchen, with her drowning amounts of wine sprinkled with shattered glass- her favorite dessert. And my third step father, was he still sneaking around her blatantly, leaving lingers smells of perfume on his suits with red smudge stains on his clean white collared shirt.

I just wondered if it was still the spiraling time collapsed place as it was before I left. The same shit happening and going on over and over and over again.

"Yeah man, when I'm fucked up like this the past is hard to beat off me too," Tayuya muttered, dragging me away from my thoughts.

My eyes wandered to hers, unable to gauge how much time had past. Tenten curled in my lap, her soft snoring warming my neck as I realized most of the gang had disappeared, leaving only us and Ino balled on the other empty couch.

Tayuya took a sip of the bottle in her hand, staring ahead with a frown on her face, "I get dragged into that hell entirely too often. Like it's always right behind me and I'll never be able to walk away from it far enough."

I looked away with a frown myself.

"They keep asking about it here and there," she continued, combing her beanie off as she dragged her hand through her hair. She kept her fingers tangled as she muttered, "They get I don't like to talk about it, but sometimes they ask anyway. I'm glad someone's here that knows how fucked up it was without me having to talk about it."

Vile built my throat as shook my head and croaked, "I just want to forget about it."

"Wouldn't that be nice," Tayuya snorted before dropping her arm and glancing at me, "You never answered my question... What happened after I left?"

My mind wandered my memories again with the constriction in my chest. Hands scratching into fists, I mumbled, "It got worse. The wine bottles that were smashing into the wall were getting closer and closer, and I started to flinch whenever she aimed. Pathetic started to be label, and supposedly I wore it around everywhere. I found a habit of ripping it off, throwing it towards any wall... Don't know why I was so stunned when the vodka bottle shattered... It soaked into the carpet and had my room smelling like alcohol for days..."

I took a shaky breath, tearing myself from the memories as Tayuya said quietly, "I should have tried to stay."

"Nothing you could have done," I muttered back, words freezing in my throat as I noticed Ino shift on the couch.

My eyes darted to hers as I saw crystal blue orbs staring at me. The thought of Ino hearing any part of what I said froze my entire body, and once again I felt exposed like I had the last time she caught glimpses of what I tried so desperately to keep to myself. Seconds later, the blue orbs began to float as she stood up and walked towards us. She paused only to slip one of the unopen bottles off the coffee table before handing it to me.

I managed out half of an empty smile before taking it from her.

She wandered and sat next to me as I swallowed a small mouthful of the beer. Without a single word, she curled right back into a ball as her head fell to my shoulder just as I rested the bottle in my hand on the couch. I set my jaw hard as her fingers slipped across my empty ones before lacing them together. And Tayuya took another sip of her bottle before letting out a soft sigh.

I don't know how long we stayed quiet like that.

But with the two of them there, and Tenten on my lap, I managed to fall asleep without having to revisit the suffocation of my past.

(1) - Can we just discuss I think this song would be a PERFECT Theme song for Sakura. And Tayuya. Forreal."If I could I would feel nothing. That's the truth and I don't care. Mix prescriptions with prescriptions. It's not right but life's not fair- Underneath it all the truth is that I. Really feel like shit. I'm so sick of being tired. I'm so tired of being sick- World is cold and life's not fair." d~_~b

Anyway. Okay. So I know I promised Forlorn. I know I did. I know literally to at least ONE person I literally promised, but lets just take it easy on me.

I want to get back into writing. Very badly. I'm also thinking of the book I want to write, so it's hard to think about 4 stories at once, so that's why I've been really scarce. But. I'm starting to be able to balance it more and I always enjoy writing up here so.

Yes. Sorry. But. Here. Take this chapter and hopefully be happy :D

Anyway, with That summer pretty much wrapped up, there are fewer stories to focus on. BoD is one and this story as well as the long forgotten Forlorn. But. I do have some good ideas for this story because I like this one alot in paticular.

It has a twist on my typical stories, and I want this one to hit hard so I have plans.

So, let's celebrate finally moving out of the agonizing pace of setting up the story and start enjoying some feels.

Read review. Tell me what you think.

Shy loves. Out.