Bloodstream
A/N:
This is by far my favourite Ed Sheeran song, because it just means a lot to me with what my sister being a drug addict, etc.
It's also just so gorgeous.
The way he sings always makes me cry, except with his happy songs.
I suggest you listen to this song if you haven't already.
This fanfic will be a series of Ed Sheeran songfics (oneshots), from his albums '+' and 'x'.
You can request a song by clicking that nice, tempting button with 'review' on it!
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I've been spinning out of time
Couple women by my side
He woke up yet another morning with an unknown girl next to him.
This time it was a brunette.
He had a burning headache, making him dizzy as he tried to sit up.
He passed a hand through his greasy hair and scratched his stubbled chin.
On his nightstand stood a bottle.
I've got sinning on my mind
Sipping on red wine
He grabbed the bottle by its green neck and took a long sip, washing his mouth clean of the gross taste of vomit.
The girl was still unconscious, and he suspected she would be for a while. She had been quite wild the night before.
With a distressed mind he left for the living room.
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I've been sitting here for ages
Ripping out the pages
The tears trickled down his cheeks and dripped down on his thighs.
There was a photo album on his lap, of which he slowly turned the pages.
She was there.
She was laughing.
Her eyes were shining.
He was laughing too, his arms around her.
And now it was all gone.
With a strangled cry he tore three pages out at once, watching the pictures flutter to the floor.
Her laughing face stared at her from the floor.
How'd I get so faded?
How'd I get so faded?
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Oh no, no, don't leave me lonely now
If you loved me how'd you never learn?
She never learned, she always loved him, even though he betrayed her trust.
She was always so patient.
They were the perfect, messed up couple.
And now they were no more.
Oh, colour crimson in my eyes
He gave up.
He broke.
His sight turned red, his hands clenched into fists.
A strangled shout left his throat as he hit, kicked and flipped whatever was in his reach.
He flipped over the coffee table, the picture frame that stood atop it flying across the room, the glass breaking as it hit the wall.
He tore a painting off the wall, flinging it as far away as possible.
He kicked the large glass vase with flowers and watched it break as water flowed from it.
And then he turned, moving to throw something else, but instead saw an opened flask of pills.
Pills with little smiley-faces on them.
One or two could free my mind
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This is how it ends
I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream
He drowned in the feeling he got, the sad images being wiped away from his distressed mind.
Instead he saw happiness, instead he kept seeing her.
Only she happy.
She was there.
And then he saw a memory he had almost forgotten, one of his best ones.
They had been alone in a room with a piano.
He had played for her, he had smiled with joy.
She had danced, let her body move to the music.
How gorgeous she was.
Her smile had his eyes glued to her.
He wanted to see her again, just like that.
He remember how she had gotten closer and closer, still dancing, until she was close enough to wrap her arms around his neck, still moving her body from side to side.
She had kissed his cheek, the smile permanent on both of their faces.
Fading out again
And then it was gone—all gone.
I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream
A flash: just her smile and her eyes
And then it was all gone, like his story was told again: the happiest moments of his life, then they were suddenly gone.
Tell me when it kicks in
He swallowed another, hoping to see that smile that was slowly fading away.
Well, tell me when it kicks in
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I've been looking for a lover
He went through woman after woman, like he used to before her.
None were the same like her, none were as gorgeous as she was, or as smart.
None had the sparkle in her eyes like she had when she smiled.
None of them could drown in their own world like she could—he always loved it like that, when she would ramble on about nothing at all, or how she would stare at one thing and just think.
Thought I'd find her in a bottle
And eventually he had to give up and relive his memories.
Somehow, the only way he could do that without feeling the pain was by numbing his body.
With alcohol.
Even when his body was screaming for him to stop, he still went on.
He had to see her smile.
He drank.
He drank.
God, make me another one
He drank.
I'll be feeling this tomorrow.
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Lord, forgive me for the things I've done
He slammed the door shut as yet another one of his late-night lovers left his apartment.
I was never meant to hurt no one
As the girl left crying, he couldn't help but see her face, her tear-stained cheeks.
He had done that to her.
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I saw scars upon a broken hearted lover
He had never meant to meet her, he had never meant to fall in love with her.
But he couldn't help but say 'hi' to her as he saw her crying on that bench in the park.
He was drawn to her.
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Oh no, no, don't leave me lonely now
He took another long sip, scrunching up his face as it burned down his throat.
If you loved me how'd you never learn?
He saw her face with each sip that he took, he saw her tears and her smiles.
He saw her.
She had stuck with him through everything, and he gave pain and sadness in return.
Oh, colour crimson in my eyes
He watched the blood pour down his arms, loving the colour of it against his pale skin.
The skin that had once been tan, the skin she had once loved.
One or two could free my mind
He felt it, the sting kissing his skin, he felt the bad memories disappear—even if it was only for a second. He wanted them gone.
The blade kissed his skin again and again, he couldn't find it in himself to stop.
This is how it ends
One deep cut over his wrist followed a long sip of a bottle.
He watched the blood drip down onto his crisp sheets.
I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream
Fading out again
The bad ones disappeared bit by bit, fading into nothingness before they returned again.
Then the good memories started fading, too.
But they always returned after a second or so.
That was why the blade was so addictive.
The few seconds in which they were gone were worth it.
I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream
His sleeping pills kicked in, the ones of which he took too many.
Too many to count.
So tell me when it kicks in
He closed his eyes.
Well, tell me when it kicks in
He waited.
So tell me when it kicks in
He waited for darkness to take him away, but for now he was stuck with the images of her slowly fading away.
He heard her voice.
He heard his own.
He heard his mother's.
His father's.
His brother's.
His sister's.
He saw their faces, but the one in the middle was always hers.
Only hers.
All the voices in my mind
Calling out across the line
They were screaming.
All the voices in my mind
Calling out across the line
He screamed.
All the voices in my mind
Calling out across the line
It was all too loud.
All the voices in my mind
Calling out across the line
It was all too much.
All the voices in my mind
Calling out across the line
When would it stop?
All the voices in my mind
Calling it across the line
And then they all started screaming together.
Him, her, his father, his mother, his brother, his sister.
Tell me when it kicks in
I saw scars upon her
Tell me when it kicks in
Broken hearted
He heard them all but he saw only her.
Tell me when it kicks in
I saw scars upon her
Tell me when it kicks in
Broken hearted
He saw her tears
Tell me when it kicks in
I saw scars upon her
Tell me when it kicks in
Broken hearted
He saw her scars. The same scars he now had on his wrists. They matched.
Tell me when it kicks in
I saw scars upon her
Tell me when it kicks in
Broken hearted
Then it finally started to kick in.
The voices started becoming softer, yet hers was as clear as water.
Tell me when it kicks in
I saw scars upon her
Tell me when it kicks in
Broken hearted
And then he heard only her. She was saying his name.
Tell me when it kicks in
I saw scars upon her
Tell me when it kicks in
Broken hearted
Finally, he got to see her dance again while his fingers rushed over the keys of a piano.
Separated and reunited
Jonathan Herondale was recently found dead in his apartment, researchers say that his cause of death was an overdose of sleeping pills and blood loss due to the cuts on his arms and wrists.
Jonathan was buried next to his dead girlfriend, Clarissa Morgenstern. Clarissa had died of suicide after having lived for 12 years with an abusive parent. Jonathan was also highly depressed and under influence of several types of drugs and alcohol. His depression was said to have started when Clarissa died. Finally, the two lovers are reunited.