Even My Dad Does Sometimes
A/N: I've been wanting to do this one for quite a while, regardless of the fact that I'm going to do a series of songfics. I've had the idea of a Clace cancer story in my mind for a quite a while, and I might even make this a story. Dunno. Click that nice, tempting review button to tell me which Ed Sheeran song you want next!
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It's alright to cry
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she was told the news.
His heart broke as he saw the hopelessness in her eyes.
''I'm terribly sorry.'' The doctor said.
As if that was going to help.
Jace wiped at his own eyes, before wrapping the petite woman in his arms. She was shaking.
Jace prayed to whoever was up there that she would make it this time, too.
Even though she had barely survived the last time she was diagnosed.
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''I'm sorry.'' She whimpered to everyone in the room, as if the bad news was her fault.
Stephen wiped his eyes as Celine sobbed in his arms.
Even my dad does sometimes
Isabelle ran at Clary, enveloping the redhead in her arms.
''It's not your fault, Clare.'' She sobbed.
Everyone was looking at Jace.
Everyone was silently giving him a message with their eyes.
They all knew, even he, that she probably wasn't going to make it this time.
And they all cried together.
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So don't wipe your eyes
They were sitting in bed, the messed up couple.
She was in his lap, her head in his neck.
She was breathing heavily.
''I'm sorry.'' She apologized again.
Because of her disease, they weren't able to go too far.
She had nearly passed out after they kissed a bit too wild.
''Stop apologizing.'' He mumbled, kissing the top of her head.
She was shaking.
''Jace…''
''Yeah?''
''I don't want to die.'' She moved to wipe her eyes.
''Tears remind you you're alive.'' He told her, tears shining in his own.
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They were asleep, cuddling in the small hospital bed.
Even though he was asleep, he felt it immediately, like a dog.
''Clary!'' He shouted.
It's alright to die
She wasn't breathing.
''Help! Somebody help!''
Soon enough, doctors and nurses were all around him, trying to pull him away from her.
''No, I need to see her!''
'Cause death's the only thing you haven't tried
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He sat in the waiting room, breathing heavily as he had a panic attack.
No one noticed how he was desperately gulping for breath while clenching his hands in his hair, tears pouring down his face like rain.
''Jace Herondale?'' He heard, distantly.
Suddenly, footsteps were rushing toward him vaguely.
He didn't really notice—all he could think about was his Clary, possibly dying.
She could be ripped away from him any moment, and he would be left powerless.
Tears flooded his eyes like a broken dam, never stopping.
They tasted salty on his tongue.
''Jace!'' And then they were grabbing him by his shoulders.
They were trying to pull him away from her again.
''No!'' He shouted.
''Jace, breathe! In and out!''
''No!'' He was losing it now, kicking and punching where he could.
''Get me some help out here!''
But just for tonight
Hold on
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''Jace?'' Her voice was so small, so vulnerable.
His heart broke at the sight of her frail body lying in the bed, which was large compared to her.
Four months.
For four months already she had struggled with the disease, nearly losing twice.
For four months Jace had wrecked himself for her.
She was wearing a panda beanie, which looked adorable on her.
Yet he couldn't help but notice the dark circles beneath her eyes and her thin arms and legs.
He froze in the doorway, letting his eyes travel over her body.
Her eyes sparkled as she saw him.
Immediately she pushed the blankets off her, throwing her legs over the side.
Jace ran to her, holding her down.
''Don't get up, you don't want to overwhelm yourself.'' He calmed her, pushing her to lie down again.
They were silent for a while as Jace sat next to her on the bed.
It was a comfortable silence.
And then he noticed something was wrong.
And then she broke his heart.
So live life like you're giving up
''Jace, you need to leave.'' She whispered, her voice cracking as tears fell onto her cheeks.
His mouth fell open as he just stared at her, not quite sure what to say.
''I don't want to hurt you.''
'Cause you act like you are
''Clary—''
''Can you do one thing for me before you leave?''
''Clary, I'm not leaving.'' He protested.
''Can you kiss me before you leave?'' She remained stubborn, her eyes were broken.
Go ahead and just live it up
Slowly, he leaned down and kissed her, before opening his mouth to tell her that he wasn't leaving.
''Jace, I don't love you anymore.''
Go on and tear me apart
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He went home, even though he knew she wasn't speaking the truth.
She was only saying it to get him away from her.
Away from a time bomb, waiting to explode.
But he was a pyromaniac, he was addicted to her.
He would never leave.
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It's alright to shake
She was crying in his arms as he showed up again the next day, shaking as sobs racked through her body.
Even my hand does sometimes
He was shaking, too. He was crying, too. He was broken, too.
''Jace, I don't want to leave you.''
''I don't want you to leave. But it's not our choice.''
So inside we rage
''So why isn't it?! Why did this have to happen to me?''
Against the dying of the light
He hugged her tense body closer.
And then she relaxed.
He hugged her sobbing body closer.
And then the sobs stopped.
He hugged her breathing body closer.
And then her breaths stopped.
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He sat next to her sleeping body, hands covering his face as he cried.
A knock sounded on the door, and Alec walked in.
He didn't say anything, instead just walked to his broken best friend and laid a hand on his shoulder.
She was still sleeping, and wouldn't wake up soon.
Her beanie was still placed on her head.
Alec looked down at the diary that was laid on Jace's lap, reading one line out of it.
It's alright to say that death's the only thing you haven't tried
The steady beeps of the heart monitor went on and on, reassuring Alec that he hadn't lost his best friend yet. That he would be able to heal if she was alive. And for now, she was.
But just for today
Alec prayed that she could hold on for somewhat longer.
That she could convince him to leave.
That she could convince him to save himself before it was too late.
Hold on
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So live life like you're giving up
''I don't want the stupid treatment, I just want to go home!'' She was screaming, crying.
She got her hands on the nightstand, which she flung at the door.
The four people watched as the nightstand fell apart against the wall.
She got her hand on a vase, which she flung at the window, successfully breaking both.
'Cause you act like you are
''Clary—'' Simon started, trying to calm her.
Instead she just flung her adorable panda beanie at him.
''I don't want this anymore! Why can't they just get it over with? Why can't they just let me die!?''
Go ahead and just live it up
They were all tired, they were all sad.
They were all angry and frustrated.
They all noticed how she was broken.
They all noticed how she was breathing heavily, how blood dripped out of her nose.
How her breathing stopped.
Go ahead and tear me apart
Hold on
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They were all there, all watching her sleep.
Jocelyn, Luke, Jonathan, Isabelle, Simon, Alec.
Jace.
They were watching her sleep.
A sleep she would most likely not wake up from.
So live life like you're giving up
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The heart monitor was still beeping, a sound which relieved them all.
If only she would wake up.
''She's not responding to anything.'' The doctor fed their hopelessness.
'Cause you act like you are
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Only Jace was in the room.
He sat next to her on the bed, holding her hand.
The rest was in the downstairs café, eating.
Go ahead and just live it up
Her hand twitched in his, her eyes moving frantically under her closed eyelids.
''Jace…'' She whispered, the heart monitor speeding up.
Tears leaked out of the edge of her eyes.
'I love you.' Her lips shaped the words, her voice not working along with her in her deep sleep.
Go on and tear me apart
He screamed, he shouted, he cried and sobbed.
The moment—the sound he had dreaded finally sounded through the room.
A long, unwavering beep.
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And hold on
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And then she opened her eyes.
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''Congratulations, the results are back. You're able to go home, Clary. You're okay.''
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Two years later, her name was changed to Clarissa Adele Herondale.
Three years after that, at 23 years old, she was officially in remission.
One year after that, Jordan Christopher Herondale was born, along with his twin sister Cecily Isabella Herondale.
A/N: At first I thought about being cruel and making her die, but I would end up crying in my bed while my mother facepalmed. Sooo I wrote this instead.
Click that nice tempting review button and tell me which song next!
Waffle on!