Red and his Wolf
I don't know what to do. He's everywhere, he's nowhere. He's lurking in the shadows just behind my back, he's standing just out of reach as I lash out with my knife. He's by my side as I push my limits, forcing myself to run through the forest. He's reaching out to grab my back as I pitch forward over the pit of darkness. He's everywhere, but I have never seen him. He's nowhere, but I run in terror from his claws.
The Wolf.
The forest is closing in on me as darkness descends upon the trees. I can feel him watching me as I force my shaking hands to build up the fire, trying to think of anything but the growing tension behind me. I want to turn around, I want to see the beast that stalks me mercilessly day in and day out, but I can't. It's not real. Unless of course, it is.
I can't help it, I need to see that nothing's there. Or that something is there. Slowly I pull my knife from its sheath and turn around, only to be greeted by the horrible expanse of darkness. I stare into it, praying that something appears, or that something doesn't. I don't know which one I'd prefer, having my fear proven to be real, or never knowing what it is that I fear. I turned back to the fire and knelt back down to add a few more twigs.
The shadows cast by the fire's light dance in the trees, illuminating the forest of terror surrounding me. I watch the shadows for movement, looking for a sign that it's not just my imagination. Nothing moves, the still, quiet tranquility of night remains, it is just myself and the wolf. He is everywhere, I feel his glinting eyes boring into my skin, peeling away at my secrets, my life. I feel his warm breath on my neck as I kneel over my fire, afraid to move, afraid to look behind me. He is nowhere, there is not a sign of his presence to any living creature but me. He does not exist, he is a figment of my imagination. He is not a separate being from myself, he is me. He is my fears, my wants, my wishes, my dreams, my death. He is made of my demons, he is my shadow. He is everything wrong with me, everything wrong with the world.
A shadow moves over me as I sit by the fire, terror bleeding out from me like blood from an open wound. I stand, prepared to fight for my life, then pause when I see the figure illuminated by the flickering flames of the fire. It is a man with a black hood covering his face, all I can see is his wide, crooked smile. He takes a step closer, and I take a step back, terror encompassing my very being. He chuckles slightly at my reaction, as if he's enjoying my terror, my pain. He speaks in a low rasping voice, speaks just one word. "Red."
He smiles, baring his long wolffish teeth, and removes the hood from his head. His face is patterned with scratches and scars, his eyes are the color of a cloud just before a storm. His hair is the color of blood on the sand. He is my mirror image, but we could not be more different than the sun and moon. I take another step back, and he takes one more forward. An icy fist closes on my heart, and I breath out the name of the terror that's plagued me for centuries, for lifetimes, since the beginning of time. He's the wolf, I've seen him, it's not just a trick. He's real, and he's waiting for me to slip. One little mistake, that's all it would take, this game of cat and mouse would be over.
The shadows greet him like a familiar friend, they whisper to him in a language I can't understand. He laughs as I try to flee, and he speaks not a word, but I hear him clear as can be. "I'm no one to be afraid of, we're friends you and I. One of us cannot exist without the Other, and the Other can't exist without One. We are one, we're a whole, one of us created the other, and the other created one, from the second we existed there has been one or there were none."
He took a single step closer, and I grabbed for my knife. Lashing out I hit his arm, cut him deep, down to the bone. He laughs as I hit him, as I find the deep cut on my own arm instead. I hear his silent voice again, there was no way to hide "You and I are one, what happens to one happens to the other, what happens to the other happens to one. We are hurt if you try to hurt I, and We are hurt if I try to hurt you. We are One. One is We. We is I. Together we live, and together we must die."
I scream out of agony, I'm going to die. He slips back into the shadows, leaving me all alone in the flickering glow of my firelight. The night is once again tranquil, once again calm, and the lingering shadows have stopped singing their song. The surrounding forest begins to go dim, and I feel the heavy strings of sleep luring me in. I have no way to fight them so I give up and let them win. It's warm embrace dulls the pain of the wound on my arm and slows the flow of sticky blood. I can still feel the wolf watching, he's biding his time, but now I am too, so this should all be just fine.
~Fin