When two forces collide

by Chuuuups

It was widely known that there was a rivalry between Four and Eric; Four had ranked first but Eric had got the leadership offer. The two hated each other; everyone knew that. They were wrong. Or in which Eric fell in love with the tall boy from Abnegation during initiation and sometimes it feels like it was the worst thing that could have ever happened to him.

4. 1 Weaken

AN: I'm back! Hope you'll like Part 4, lots of things happening in here.

Special thanks to Na-tan for being an absolute heart and to Dylan for motivating me.

Guys, listen to Alan Walker's music. Especially Alone and the restrung version of the song, which inspired me like crazy.

---

Part 4.1 – Weaken

The corridor in which Eric is living has changed. The people he knew from initiation all decided to move into a larger and better apartment as soon as they gained enough points with their jobs. All of them went away and new initiates moved in. All except for Tobias. The boy still lived down the corridor.

Somehow Eric didn't want to move out either. In the back of his mind he knew that particular boy was the reason for him wanting to stay but he wasn't acknowledging that thought. No, if he was staying it was because of the location of the apartment; close to the Chasm, a great place to think. And also, he had become attached to the small room with its adjoining minuscule bathroom and its shower that took ages to pour warm water. In other words, he wasn't planning on moving out either.

It meant that the newly pledged members of Dauntless that had moved into this corridor were all impressed and scared to be living so close to one of the leaders. It should be strange for a leader to live there and not in the upper levels but Eric couldn't care less.

xxx

Eric packed his backpack with the usual equipment; which meant a first aid kit, water, his favorite range of knives and walkie-talkies. The food, they were supposed to get together at the kitchen, Eric and his team. His new team.

Two members of Eric's team, Isaac and Nate, had left because they couldn't keep up with the rhythm and had requested for other missions. Eric liked them but he could understand. He actually liked all the members of his team which was composed of them, Hollie, Sarine and Rami. They had each come to respect Eric, for some reason.

Now two new members had to be added to the team. Eric didn't know yet who they were; Max had sent their profiles on his tablet but Eric had decided to discover them without prejudice and after their first meeting he would read their profiles. It was also because he didn't really care who was on his team.

So with his packed bag, Eric headed out of his room to join his team and meet the two new members in the weaponry.

When Eric got there he frowned; the door was wide open. He couldn't even count the number of times he had scolded his soldiers for not closing the door behind them. The weaponry had an armored locked door for a reason. Apparently they liked to rile him up with this. Eric stepped inside, ready to reprimand Hollie once again.

But as soon as he spotted his team he stopped for a second. There was a kid there, apparently in a heated argument with Rami. He was small, compared to Rami's height, it was the first thought that came to Eric's mind. His hair was a soft brown and he had that fringe that was really popular among Dauntless kids. Eric found this haircut stupid because it was obvious that everyone who had it had trouble to see and was constantly flicking their hair out of their eyes. But what was a teenager doing here?

And on the other side of the group was one new member of his team. "David." Eric recognized him as soon as he approached the group. David from initiation; the fucker who bullied Tobias.

The profiles of the two new recruits were in his tablet and now that David was standing in front of him, he wished he would have looked into the folders and prepared himself for this guy.

The memories of that boy bullying Tobias during initiation were still very clear in his head.

"Hey, Eric. Good to see you," David said politely and held out his hand. Eric shook it and maybe he squeezed harder than he would have with someone else, but then he was distracted by the kid who was approaching him.

"Who let you into the weaponry?" Eric frowned and then glared at Hollie, knowing that she was the one who had left the door open.

"What do you mean, who brought me?" The kid sneered. "I came on my own."

"You can't be here. We're preparing for a mission, leave my men alone and get the hell out of the weaponry." And where was the second recruit? If there was one thing Eric hated, was when his soldiers were late.

"For fuck's sake, not you too! I'm on your team!" The kid shrieked.

"No you're not, kid. Go-"

"Don't fucking call me 'kid'!" The boy snarled and marched to Eric. He was small. He was smaller than Eric thought and had a high pitched voice. "I'm Ocean, I'm on this team."

"What? How old are you?"

"I'm twenty," he answered haughtily, flicking his fringe to the side.

"Can't be." Eric raised his eyebrows. That boy was older than him? He looked so young. He took out his tablet from his pocket and checked for Ocean's profile. Indeed the picture matched and he was twenty.

"Alright soldier." Eric raised his eyebrows. He thought about apologizing but then he saw Ocean's glare and decided he was not worth it. "Why were you arguing?" He asked everyone.

"They don't want me on the team!" Ocean complained loudly.

"You don't?"

"He's a fucking kid, Eric," Rami said disbelievingly. "He should just go back, like you said."

"Ocean is older than me and David," Eric deadpanned. "So unless you've got a problem with my age? Yeah, that's what I thought too. Let's see how Ocean does tonight and only then you'll be allowed to complain. Now get your weapons and then we're headed to the kitchens!"

"What do you mean, the kitchens?" Ocean asked loudly in a tone that let everyone know he thought Eric was mental. Eric stayed calm but then it struck him that if Ocean didn't know they needed to pack food he must be very knew in this kind of missions. He should have read Ocean and David's profile before getting here.

"It's your first time on a mission like this, soldier?"

"Well, not everyone had the privilege of being chosen for missions right after their initiation. Some of us had to work hard for this."

"You bastard!" Rami snarled. "Don't you dare speak like that to Eric."

"Rami, stop. I did work hard for my position, soldier. If I'm where I am, it's because I deserve it, it applies for every member of our faction." It wasn't completely a lie; Eric had worked very hard, since he was thirteen. "Rami has a point. I'm your superior and leader, you must obey me and respect me."

"Yes, sir," Ocean sneered.

"Anyway," Eric sighed. "New members means introductions and rules to be stated."

"We've already introduced ourselves when we were waiting for you, Eric," Hollie said with a flick of her long blond hair. Eric had already tried to convince her to tie them up because he could see they bothered her but she refused.

"Good. So the rules. Not many, just obey to direct orders from me, protect your teammate, work with your teammate," Eric pointedly looked at Rami, who obviously hated Ocean already. "And for advices, Ocean, since it's your first time on a team and on the field, I'd tell you to be prepared for seeing deaths." No one had warned Eric when he had begun on Anita's team and he knew that seeing people die was the worst thing a human being with a sensitive heart could watch. "Strangers, but also any of your teammates. Every one of us can die at any moment. And it can't startle you, it can't stop you, or else your life will be in danger too. I would tell you not to get attached to your teammates but that's not the best option to my opinion. The relationship you have with another soldier, the complete trust you have between you, the complicity, the help, is what will make you progress and keep you forward the most-"

"Ok, enough deep words, Eric," Hollie cut him. "He gets it. We get it. It's too damn emotional for me. Can't we just get our equipment and the food?"

Eric sighed deeply and shook his head dejectedly.

"Well?" Hollie insisted.

Eric gestured with both hands to the weapons on his right. "Great!" She hollered and tugged on Rami's arm. Sarine silently followed, her face as impassive as ever and David too eventually, offering Eric a tentative smile.

Ocean trailed behind and walked right to Eric's face, puffing his chest out to make up for the height difference. "You are weak," Ocean hissed, "You listen to that woman instead of imposing your superiority."

Eric stepped even closer, looming over Ocean. "Careful, soldier. You don't talk to me like that."

Ocean only glared in response. When the smaller boy opened his mouth to snap something back, he was yanked backwards by the collar of his shirt. It was Sarine. "Maybe Eric listens to us. But it doesn't mean we don't respect him. Keep on disrespecting him and you'll regret it," she said very calmly.

"Also the best leaders listen to their soldiers," Rami added with a determined nod.

"Enough. Get your weapons," Eric cut in. If they continued he doubted he could hold the blush any longer. Eric didn't even know how he managed to be liked by his soldiers. He wasn't particularly kind or easy on them.

Eric walked himself to the wall of guns and rifles and selected two and then loaded his bag and his belt with cartridges. When he was ready he looked silently as Sarine calmly advised Ocean not to take the heavier rifle. Near them David and Rami looked like they were getting along well, with David pointing at one of his own tattoo on his large forearm and talking animatedly with a smile. Maybe David was different than when he knew him. He seemed more humble at first glance.

Hollie was behind them, stretching her arms. Well, pretending to stretch, Eric could actually see that she was eyeing up David's behind. He could tell David was going to be liked by the team, which was great. He hoped the guy had changed.

Sarine and Ocean approached the two men and they all looked expectantly towards Eric. Ocean flicked his fringe and cocked his hip. "Well?"

Rami smacked the back of his head and the smaller boy yelped. "Stop being pretentious."

Eric cleared his throat, trying not to smile. "Before we go get the food, pass me your bag Ocean. As it is your first time on a long mission, I will check its content."

"Why-"

"Don't question me."

Ocean huffed. Eric just wanted to make sure that he had everything he would need to sleep outside in hard conditions for a week.

A few minutes later when they were all reunited in the kitchen and loading their bags with what they would need to survive, David approached Eric.

"Listen," he said, "I know I was a jerk during initiation. I wanted to apologize and I wanted to tell you that you have my full respect. Honest."

"Okay," Eric nodded.

"Also I apologized to Tobias a few weeks ago."

Eric didn't comment on that but his chest did that usual small jump whenever Tobias was mentioned. After a few bit he said, "You don't call him Four."

"That's a stupid nickname," David snorted. "But yeah we were assigned on watch duty at the fence for a few days and we talked a bit, I guess. I know what you're thinking and that you have a bad memory of me but let's just say that the field changed me."

"I will see for myself."

David looked like he wanted to insist and say more but then he resigned himself and nodded firmly. "That works for me."

.

After only a few weeks Eric's old team were working well with David. He had managed to make his place in the team and was serious in his work and determination. Eric actually liked him. David liked to make snide remarks but they weren't badly placed and sometimes Eric found himself laughing along with David and the others. It was as if he was the missing piece that made their team whole and united. Even with the old members, there wasn't that friendly and warm atmosphere.

The only problem was Ocean. He was as annoying as the first day they had met. He kept trying to oppose Eric and kept acting recklessly, which was a danger not only to him but to the whole team. One night he had almost blown their cover when Ocean couldn't keep his mouth shut. Fortunately he listened to Sarine. Sarine was quiet and did not talk much; and surprisingly Ocean always stuck to her side, even at night when they lay their sleeping bags down. So when Sarine glared at him and asked him to shut up, he did.

One night as they prepared themselves to infiltrate a ruined building that was reportedly an arsenal for the factionless, Eric took Ocean aside.

"I won't deal with your reckless behavior tonight," Eric said.

Ocean scoffed. "This is stupid. I can't even count on my fingers the numbers of buildings we have put under a fine-tooth comb because apparently there were supposed to be factionless in it and oh damn they were just empty buildings. We are wasting our time Eric!"

"This is not the same! We are talking about an arsenal. It could be very dangerous. So behave yourself-"

"Are you listening to me when-"

"I don't care about your opinion! We are to infiltrate that building and we are going to do it professionally. So shut your damn mouth and keep your thoughts to yourself. Am I clear?"

"Yes," Ocean said through gritted teeth.

"No talking too loud, no bursting into rooms first without letting us know and no wandering! Am I understood?"

Ocean looked sideways and refused to answer.

"Am I?" Eric's voice boomed.

"Ugh! Yes, ok!"

"Good."

Eric should have known he couldn't trust Ocean's words. Because later when they were all in the building, skimming the fourth level, still without a sign of a weapon or a factionless, Ocean was starting to curse under his breath and drag his feet down. Eric grabbed him by the shoulder harshly. "Behave yourself!" he hissed. "Stay alert." Ocean just rolled his eyes and shrugged Eric's hand from his shoulder, dragging his feet to Sarine.

"For fuck's sake," Eric hissed to no one in particular.

"We should get rid of him before the next mission," Rami grumbled beside him.

They continued on their way, Eric praying that Sarine's presence would be enough to keep Ocean on good behavior until they were safely out this potential arsenal.

His hope didn't last long. When they were at the seventh floor, Ocean huffed loudly. "I can't take it anymore!" he complained with his high-pitched voice.

"Ocean," Sarine warned. But he didn't listen, he stepped further into the large hall they had just arrived into and spread his arms wide.

"No, there's obviously nothing in this fucking building. Let's get out of here!"

He was being too loud and from the corner of his eyes, Eric saw a black figure darting from a corridor and pointing a heavy rifle towards Ocean.

"DUCK!" Eric yelled and fired at the figure. The person collapsed without having the chance to shoot at Ocean. There was a heavy silence for a moment when Ocean had wide eyes and turned slowly to the dead body behind him and the only noises were heavy breathing. No one dared to say a word, they all knew that the firing sounds had alerted everyone who might be in the building and it was only a matter of time before they were attacked.

The factionless man had been armed, it meant there could indeed be an arsenal somewhere. But should Eric risk his team forward or should they run the hell away, now that they didn't have the advantage of surprise.

"Be ready!" Eric hissed. Everyone was already, but that startled Ocean who jogged back to them and prepared his own rifle in a well-practiced move.

The choice was easily made for Eric when at least fifteen armed factionless rushed into the hall from the same corridor than the black figure. They had no chance. "Retreat!" Eric yelled as he started firing at them. They walked backwards to the door they had come from while Rami, Hollie and Ocean fired from the front line. Soon Eric was on the other side of the door and he rushed his mind to think quickly. They had to block the factionless from following them. Eric heard a pained scream and he knew it was Hollie. Fuck fuck fuck. He caught sight of the elevator on the left. He hoped it was working.

He rushed there and pressed on the button. It was not working. But he had an idea. He heard Hollie cursing loudly and he knew she was alive. Eric took one of his larger knives and shoved it between the elevator's doors. He pried them slightly open and then Sarine's hand along with Ocean's were there to stuck their fingers in between and pull the doors open.

"Come on!" Eric said. Sarine was the first to go inside. She grabbed the metallic ropes and started climbing down. Ocean followed. Eric turned to see Hollie rushing to him. Her right arm was dripping blood but she was still awake and determined. She hopped into the darkness and with the help of her legs and only one arm, she climbed down.

"Rami!" Eric yelled. Rami stopped firing and sprinted to the elevator. He took the rope, kept himself steady with his legs and started firing again to the door, stopping the factionless from following them.

Eric slid into the darkness and struggled to the side of the cage and put all his effort into closing the doors. It was oddly silent when he finally managed to close them.

Rami had stopped firing and they were all panting.

"Hey-" Ocean started from lower but then yelped. Sarine had probably shut him up. They couldn't talk loudly, not in here.

"You alright?" Rami asked Eric quietly.

"Yeah. You?"

"Fine, but Hollie got it bad."

"I saw."

Rami clicked on the light of his rifle and pointed it towards Eric. Eric did the same with his own rifle.

"Let's go down," Eric whispered. Rami slid his rifle to his side and climbed down, allowing Eric to climb onto the rope too.

"Hollie you holding up?" Rami asked her.

"No," she hissed, "my arm isn't going to hold until ground floor."

"Ok, ok, let me climb down and you climb onto my back. Alright? Let's do that." There was the sound of rustling and struggling but then Hollie was on Rami's back and they descended as quickly as they could.

Down on ground floor they fortunately didn't get into trouble and they managed to get out of the building without another damage.

They didn't stop there, they ran as far away as they could, until Eric noticed Hollie unable to run in straight lines and he stopped the team. Sarine and him each took one of her arm around their shoulders, with Rami on the front and Ocean on the back and they progressed slowly to the closest safe ruined building that was marked on Eric's map from his tablet.

As he had the best knowledge in first aid, thanks to his Erudite past, he was the one to tend to Hollie's wounded arm.

Later in the night, when Eric was on watch, Ocean shuffled to him and sat close beside him. Their shoulders were touching, Eric didn't try to scoot away or push him away.

It was silent for long minutes but then he sighed loudly and turned to Eric. "Thank you," he said softly. "For saving me."

Eric nodded and when Ocean held out his hand, he took it and shook it. Ocean then did the unexpected; he smiled.

In the next few weeks that Eric passed with his team, Ocean had a better behavior. He listened to the orders on the field. He still liked to disrespect Eric when they weren't in important missions. But that was fine with Eric; a kind and calm Ocean wouldn't be a true Ocean.

Eric sometimes remembered Rami's suggestion to get rid of Ocean and take in a new soldier. He knew it would not happen now, and he knew Rami had also changed his mind.

.

Being with his new team for months did well with Eric. When he still had his old team, they would never go on long missions and were coming back to the faction every few weeks. Eric had loathed these moments. During these breaks, he was alone in his room. And without missions to concentrate on, his mind was free to wander and he would just end up very depressed.

He struggled to find a goal in his life, wondered why he was still following Jeanine's plan. The same question always haunted him; shouldn't he rat Jeanine out to the government and who cared if he died? Did he himself care about staying alive? Now that he was alone, that he didn't have Tobias at his side, only his life was at stake.

Yes, he had Anita. But she was always out on missions and Eric was almost sure that no one knew that they were close. For everyone Eric was a loner. A monster that no one could approach.

Now that he had Ocean in his life, it didn't seem as dull as before. He wasn't close with Ocean, no. But the boy brought a spark in his everyday life. Ocean liked to disrespect him, liked to insult not only him but his fellow soldiers. There was always bantering now. But Eric had become accustomed to all that and now he even cared about the boy. He was just the kind of person that you wanted to protect.

xxx

"Hello, Eric. Take a seat," Jeanine gestured to the chair in front of her desk. Max was standing behind the desk, right next to Jeanine.

"Do you know what this is?" She asked, sliding a heavy file on her desk. Eric took it and read the title 'Organization and rules'. He opened the folder and let his eyes skim over the first page. It explained the process of Dauntless initiation. He took a look at the other pages and as the title said, it had all the rules of every phase and exercise that was to be done during initiation. Eric recognized the physical phase with hand-to-hand combat, the mental phase with the simulation serum and the last phase with the fear landscape.

"Well?" Jeanine asked.

"It sums up Dauntless initiation." He wanted to say, 'our initiation' but he knew he couldn't in front of Jeanine, because for her he was still loyal to Erudite.

"Indeed and why do you think I am giving you this?"

Oh hell. Eric knew exactly why. He didn't want to be responsible of initiation. He didn't want to track down sixteen-year-old divergents and kill them. He wanted to stay with Ocean and Hollie, Rami, Sarine and David; he wanted to stay as far away from the compound as possible.

"You want me to supervise initiation," he finally said, his face schooled into a blank expression.

"More than that. I want you to lead initiation, I want you to re-write this file from scratch. Of course you'll follow the old initiation program, but let's just say the program needs to be toughened up a bit." She smiled. "I want harsh conditions, so that only the best soldiers can succeed and I want to eliminate the divergent ones."

"You just need to toughen up the rules for some of the exercises," Max butted in. "Especially in the first phase of initiation. But I trust you, son, you'll know where to change the rules."

Eric realized neither of them had asked him if he wanted to supervise initiation. No they just assumed it was a mission, an order to obey.

"Do you have any questions?"

"No."

"Very well. Initiation begins in June as usual. I want you to have the new file ready for next month so that you will have plenty of time to organize everything. You will also forward me a draft of the new file by the end of the week, to give me an idea of what you have in mind. Questions?"

"No."

"You may go. I suggest you start working on it today." Jeanine was already turning her chair around, toward Max, completely ignoring Eric.

His hands clenched the heavy file and he left the office, furious with Jeanine.

.

Two weeks later, Eric had re-written most of the file, in details, and he even made it structured with different chapters and a table of contents. Except for the fact that some of the things he had written are horrible and ridiculous, he was quite proud of his work. It had been a really long time since he had to do paperwork and it turned out well.

There was one problem in Eric's new file -which he named 'Dauntless Initiation, Outlines and Rules' instead of the old stupid title that didn't even contain the word 'initiation' in it. It was that he needed two people to supervise initiation; a trainer for the Dauntless born and a trainer for the transfers. The one for the Dauntless born was Lauren, as per usual, but he didn't have anyone for the transfers. Jeanine never mentioned anything and he wondered if he got the right to choose a trainer for his own program. He kind of wanted to put David as an instructor.

.

He was called to Max's office not long after that, as if Jeanine had also just realized that they hadn't breached that topic. Eric was reviewing all his arguments in favor of putting David as a trainer when he knocked at the door of Max's office and entered.

"Ah, Eric, you're here."

Eric's greeting caught in his throat when he saw someone else in the office. Tobias was standing in front of Max's desk. He was looking right back at him. His expression was so genuine and sad. But the next second he was back on his new usual face; mouth set in a straight line and deep frown. Tobias had changed so much during the past months. He was still as beautiful as before and Eric felt the tightening in his guts that he felt the rare times that he crossed path with the boy within the compound. But what was he doing here? Tobias turned back towards Max. His shoulders were broader than before and he had a better stance. But it wasn't what caught Eric's attention. Right above the collar of his shirt, the edge of a tattoo was peeking; two thick black lines that curled around the back of his neck. Eric wanted to touch the skin there, he wanted to tug at the collar so that he could see the tattoo in whole.

"Come in, son." Eric startled and realized that he was still holding the knob of the open door. He quickly closed it and came closer to the desk, standing only two feet beside him.

"Eric," Tobias greeted him.

He didn't think the boy would acknowledge him. He hadn't in months. Now he had to answer. He almost said 'Tobias' but stopped himself in time. "Four." His voice sounded weak to him and he hoped it was only to him.

"So Eric," Max cut short the awkward moment. "Did you receive a response from Erudite?"

"I'm sorry, Sir?"

"About the serums," Max gave him a pointed look, "for initiation."

Eric wanted to hit himself. Of course Max was talking about initiation in front of Tobias, not Jeanine's coup. "Yes. The remaining stocks should be ready at the end of the week so I will be able to start testing their efficiency on volunteers."

"Good, good. Anyway, I summoned you because of an issue we've had with initiation. We've been looking for a new instructor good enough to replace Amar. I found the perfect one." He gestured with his chin toward Tobias. Eric couldn't believe what was happening. He knew well what it meant; that Tobias and him would have to work together for the next few months and probably the next years because initiation wasn't a project the older leaders liked to direct.

"Four was a close friend to Amar and even helped him sometimes with his class. Four know how it works and he has already agreed to take the assignment. Eric you will have to work with him as well as you'll work with Lauren. But I'll expect you to help him and direct him since he is new." Eric stayed silent. "Well? Any objection?" Max raised an eyebrow.

"No, sir."

"Then it's settled. You'll have to give him the papers you've written for the process."

"Yes, sir."

"You can go, both of you."

Eric nodded and walked out of the office, hearing Tobias' footsteps behind him. The young leader stood still for a moment, his eyes closed, his jaw clenched.

"So when will you give me these papers?" Tobias voice was cold. It hurt because he knew that he had lost his boy months ago but now the reality of it hit him hard. Tobias had never spoken to him in such a tone. He swallowed. "I'll have a copy ready for you tonight." Tobias nodded. Right before he turned to leave, Eric lifted his eyes and met his. They were warm. Warmer than his voice and his stance. Tobias could control his body language but not his eyes. It did something funny inside of Eric and he let out a relieved breath when the boy was gone. So he didn't hate him. But was it even better? Hate or not, Eric couldn't approach him again and that was his own fault.

xxx

Eric stood in front of Tobias' room's door for a very long time before convincing himself that he could do it. He knocked and cleared his throat to prepare his voice, his heart stupidly pounding in his chest. The door opened. Tobias was standing there, in a simple black t-shirt and black pants. Eric didn't know if he was wearing socks or shoes or if he was bare-foot inside his room for he didn't dare looking lower and being caught staring. It was bad enough that he was staring at Tobias' face. But that was alright because one was expected to look at someone's face when they were talking to that someone. Even if they weren't talking yet.

"Oh," Tobias said before they fell into a long uncomfortable silence. Tobias' eyes were so, so blue and his eyelashes so long. His lips weren't even chapped; how did he manage to have them like that?

Eric could smell body wash and feel warm and heavy air coming out of the door. Tobias had probably just taken a hot shower and maybe he had let the bathroom door opened during his shower and that was why the body wash smelled so strongly from the room. Eric wondered if he had knocked a few minutes earlier, would he have interrupted Tobias' shower?

"What do you want?" Tobias asked, breaking his train of thought.

"Sorry to disturb, I don't have any other way to contact you. Have you read the file?"

"Not yet."

"Good. It was only a draft, I will give you the final version tomorrow so don't bother to read that one now."

"And you came here to tell me this?"

"No. I need to train you on the way the simulation rooms work. When are you free to do that? It will take long, probably one hour to show you how the computers work. And then another time we will find a volunteer on whom you will inject the serum and make them go through their fear landscape." Eric watched him expectantly but he was not answering. "So? When?"

"Oh. Whenever. My schedule is completely empty since I've been assigned on initiation with you." Tobias had that bored look on his face and it was hitting on Eric's nerves. If he was so bored with this maybe he shouldn't have accepted to work with Eric on initiation.

"Would now be ok with you?"

"Yeah."

After Tobias slid on a jacket and boots, they made the walk to the simulation room in silence. It was as awkward as tense. Before Max had decided to make them work together, their last encounters hadn't been really friendly. Yes their last conversation was months ago. Eric could still visualize Tobias' disapproving eyes very clearly; it was that time he beat up a cocky man in the Pit surrounded by people and Tobias had walked away with his arm around the nurse.

When they were alone in the small simulation room, sat side by side in front of the computers, Eric was oddly intimidated by Tobias. It was a bit hard for him to admit it, but yes he was intimidated by Tobias' presence, sitting right next to him, so close that his thighs could feel his body heat. He was intimidated by the tension between them and the confidence and annoyance coming from Tobias' aura.

Tobias really had changed. Eric could see it now. He wasn't the boy lacking self-confidence that he had come to love. Now he was a strong and fierce person, with a strong straight back, and one eyebrow practically always arched provocatively. Now he hated Eric.

Eric of course looked impassive and unaffected. He was good at looking unimpressed, he knew it.

He knew how to be professional and got into teaching mode, showing Tobias how to use the program. Because he usually worked in the control rooms, Tobias knew his way around computers and Eric didn't have any trouble to show him the software. Then he showed him the equipment on the chair the initiates would sit on, and told him they'd find a volunteer for the next time.

One hour and a half and it was done. They got out of the room together and as Eric lingered to lock it, he didn't notice when Tobias walked away. When he turned, the corridor was empty and Eric felt something like a pang inside his chest.

.

"So where is my test subject? Or did you even find one?" Tobias asked.

"I have one. He should arrive any minute now." Because Eric didn't want to endure an awkward silence he forced himself to find something to say. "I have not yet tested this serum on anyone so it will be a first. We need to test it several times before initiation."

"What do you mean it's not been tested on yet? What if something goes wrong with our volunteer?"

"No, no it has been tested by Erudite. They test their serums thoroughly in their labs before sending them to the other factions. This serum is new for our faction because it's more efficient than the one we both know from our initiation."

Tobias looked like he didn't really care so Eric stopped explaining. But then it was silent again and very tense. They were stuck side by side in a small sim room. Eric fixed his stare on the chair beside them and sucked on his lip piercing.

After the longest fifteen minutes of his life, the door finally opened to a way too happy-looking Ocean. His hair was ruffled, and he was panting as if he had run all the way there.

"You're late," Eric snapped. "You were supposed to be there 20 minutes ago."

"I forgot," Ocean just smiled. "I ran there as soon as I remembered."

"Well, you-"

"Oh leave it!" Ocean huffed. "I'm here now, am I not?" He then proceeded to completely ignore Eric and sat comfortably on the reclined chair reserved for the initiates or whoever was undergoing a sim. He held out his hand to Tobias who shook it briefly. "I'm Ocean."

"Four."

"By the way I'm happy to see you too, Eric."

"Be professional, we're here for an important matter." Ocean rolled his eyes but stayed silent. "Tobias will test the serum on you. It is the first time he injects a serum on anyone, as you've already been informed. Then we will analyze the fear you're under as well as your vital signals. Is it clear?"

"Yes," he grinned. He looked too excited for someone who was about to get into a sim living his fear.

Ocean sat still as Tobias rolled his chair closer and prepared a syringe. With a small cotton ball he disinfected a spot of Ocean's neck. He took a deep breath of concentration and in a quick movement of his wrist, the needle penetrated the skin of Ocean's neck.

"Well done," Eric commented. Tobias nodded in response and then he threw the syringe and cotton and started to stick electrodes to Ocean's fingers and neck, under Eric's watchful gaze. He rolled back his chair to the computers and with Eric's help he started a sim.

Eric found that when both of them were engrossed in the work, they actually got along well. Only when the sim ended and they had finished with Tobias' training for the day, the tension was back in the atmosphere.

.

"So why are we meeting here?" Tobias asked, he already sounded like he wanted to leave. Eric actually liked being in Tobias' presence so it hurt him each time to see the boy tense and ready to leave at any minute. He braced himself for the long afternoon ahead of him.

"We're here for the maintenance of all the guns." He gestured to the long table where every gun was already aligned for the initiates.

"What? It's going to take ages!"

"That's why I'm not alone to do it," Eric said. "We have to disassemble and reassemble every single one of them and then test them on the targets."

Tobias glared at Eric, as if he was putting the blame on him.

"We don't have any other choice. They need to be tested before being used by kids!"

"Since you're a leader why don't you use your power to give this task to someone else."

"I can't just assign this horrible task to a soldier-"

"How generous of you, Eric," Tobias said sarcastically and headed to the table, already disassembling one gun in a practiced manner. "I still don't see why I need to help you doing this marvelous maintenance thing."

Eric swallowed on his saliva and willed himself to stay calm. He wasn't wrong when he assumed Tobias hated to spend his time with him. Then again the blame was on himself, he was the one who had decided to put some distance between them and even if wanted to be close to him again, he knew he couldn't; for one Tobias hated him now and then he couldn't risk Tobias getting hurt because of him if he disobeyed to Jeanine.

"You can leave if you want." The words escaped him and he regretted them already. He made himself look weak. Tobias should be here on the orders of Eric. He was a leader for fuck's sake.

Apparently Tobias thought the same; he looked at him with raised eyebrows for a long time before shrugging and concentrating on the gun in his hands.

They worked in silence for what seemed like hours; Eric's hands were beginning to hurt and he was considering giving up and letting a low ranked soldier finish for him.

"Eric!" It was Ocean. Eric could recognize the high pitched voice anywhere and for once the call didn't seem reproachful. Eric only had the time to turn around and caught sight of a bundle of soft brown hair before the smaller boy crashed into him and wrapped his arms around Eric tightly.

He opened his mouth to say something but then Ocean pulled back and looked up at him with bright eyes, happiness pouring out of them and the largest smile Eric had ever seen on him.

"They-" Ocean began but had to stop to giggle a bit and hide his mouth behind his hand. Sometimes Eric wondered how possible it was that the boy was actually older than him. Eric didn't find lots of things 'cute'; he even hated saying the word, but Ocean was really cute and adorable. There had been a time when he found Tobias adorable too.

"They want to make me a sergeant!"

"What?" Eric's eyes widened. "Sergeant?"

"Yes! They said the ceremony will take place in five months and until then I'm still under your order. They also said I need to be on my best behavior because they can change their mind but you're my superior, I know you won't tell them even if I do shitty things. I'll be a sergeant! And it's thanks to you!" Ocean lunged himself at Eric and this time Eric hugged back, a smile spreading on his own face.

"I never thought I'd actually like you, Eric but right now I could kiss you!"

Just as Ocean stood on his tip toes and leaned towards Eric's cheek, they were startled by a loud gunshot. It came from right beside them; Tobias had shot one target. Only the targets booths were very far from the table they were working on. Eric looked at the target. Even from this distance Tobias had hit the bull's eye. Oddly he found himself turned on by this little thing. He turned to look back at Tobias and the latter was glaring at them.

"Just checking if this gun was working, the magazine was hard to put on."

If Eric didn't know that Tobias hated him and was straight, he could have thought that the boy was jealous.

"Well," Ocean cleared his throat, "I'm going to go. I need to tell uh- my girlfriend about this." He smiled at Tobias and then darted away.

"Well? Are you going to help me?" Tobias grumbled as he returned to the task of disassembling the many guns scattered on the table. "It's going to take days."

"After the guns we need to do the rifles, and renew the targets and check that the system of the moving targets is working. We basically need to check each of the steps of initiation so I suggest you take the time to finally read the file I gave you. And yes, it is going to take days."

xxx

"What is this bullshit?"

"That bullshit is what I've been working on for the last few weeks!" Eric snarled. He knew what Tobias meant; this folder was indeed bullshit and shouldn't be the new initiation program.

"Well you've wasted your time! How could you even write this? It's not you, Eric!"

"Fuck off!" Eric then lowered his voice and spoke in a hiss. "It has been decided that a harder program for initiation was needed. New program, new rules. You don't ask questions, you learn that fucking stack of papers and you obey."

"I won't-"

"You read it til the end?"

"No, but-"

"Finish it and then you may ask questions," Eric said forcefully. Tobias lunged at him and Eric's heart jumped, he almost thought that he was going to hit him but he was just in his face and glaring at Eric, their noses almost touching. Eric had to tilt his head up to keep eye contact and it was so humiliating. He gulped, doing his very best to keep his composure and he had to fight for his eyes not to soften at the blue eyes that were looking deep into his own and the scent that was so very Tobias.

He hated that glare in Tobias' eyes, he wanted those eyes to look at him like they once did a while back. With affection, with admiration and gentleness.

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your soldiers," Tobias spoke in a low voice.

"You are one of my soldiers now," Eric muttered.

Tobias snorted and walked away without sparing another glance in Eric's direction.

"The tension was insane." Eric almost jumped out of his skin. It was Anita, he recognized her voice from behind him. She came into view, her eyebrows raised. "Who was that?"

"Tobias."

"Who?"

"From initiation. We were friends."

"Well-" Anita trailed and then cleared her throat, apparently not knowing what to say. "Were?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

They were silent for a very long time; they had moved to lean against the uneven stone wall of the Pit and watched everyone else around them.

"You know-"

"I said I don't want-"

"You don't want to talk. Alright. Just, you can come to me whenever you want Eric, you know that, right?" Eric looked back at her, an apology in his eyes. He hated snapping at Anita; she had been very important when he first fought on the field. She had been his anchor and he never thanked her.

She slipped her hand behind him and rubbed his back comfortingly. It was very awkward, they were not accustomed to gentle gestures between them, but she let her hand there.

"You look tired," Eric said. It was true; her eyes seemed hollow and she looked very pale. He felt Anita grab a handful of his shirt were it rested on his back. He frowned, something was wrong. He gently held her arm in his large hand and looked down at her with worry. Anita had always been a joyous woman. He had been so blinded by the argument with Tobias that he didn't even notice her state. "Anita?" he said softly.

"Let's go to the Chasm," she smiled but Eric could tell it was fake. "It's calming there, isn't it?"

"Alright." He felt her hand tighten on his back and then she let go. She pushed from the wall and waited for him to do the same and together they walked to the Chasm in silence. He wasn't oblivious; he knew it was a silent request to go somewhere where they could talk secretly with the noise of the Chasm would cover them.

"I know I can trust you, Eric. That's why I'm telling you this, even if you're a leader. I know I'm not making a mistake."

"You're not," Eric said firmly. Anita smiled at that.

"It's-" she took a deep breath, her hand trembling as she pushed back her hair. "I think there's something wrong with our leaders. Or with the government or whatever. You remember Thomas? Of course you do, he hated you when you were still on our team," she laughed nervously. "Well two nights ago, Thomas was summoned by Max. I didn't know much about what our leaders wanted from him. Tom just told us that it had to do with his initiation, which is completely odd and random, right? He- he didn't even know what it was about exactly. Like, why would they want to talk about his initiation, it was ages ago. But orders are orders, right? So he went." She looked up at Eric, her stare was fierce, even though tears were gathering in her eyes. "Yesterday morning," she ground out, "I received a message on my tablet, stating that I would be assigned a new soldier on my team because Thomas Keys is dead."

Eric gaped at her. Thomas was dead. What had Max done? Eric knew it had something to do with Max and Erudite. Soldiers didn't just die like that.

"It can't be a coincidence! It can't! The leaders call for him and then he's dead a few hours later?" Anita suddenly spoke frantically. Eric had never seen her panic before; he was lost, not knowing how to calm her. She gripped both of his forearms. "I'm not mad! Eric, you can't think I'm overthinking things, right? It's not a coincidence. The leaders have something to do with it. Thomas was murdered."

Eric removed his arms from her tight grip and brought her to his chest, practically lifting her on his lap. As soon as she was in his arms Anita's shoulders began to shake in silent sobs. Eric tried to murmur soothing words but it sounded just awkward between the two of them so he just held her, his throat tight.

Moments later she calmed down and leaned back, but stayed close enough to still hold his hand.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I'm supposed to be the strong one between us."

"No, don't worry about it."

"Sorry I soaked your shirt."

"Anita."

"What?"

"I don't think you're mad. You're right about the leaders. But it's not all of them," he shook his head. She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Okay." She sniffed loudly. "I'll try to cope with it. Thank you, Eric. It- it actually makes me feel a lot better."

"Don't thank me." He should be the one thanking her for all the support she had been during his first missions.

"You'd tell me if you knew anything about his death, right?"

"Yes." Eric hesitated but then he thought of all Anita had done for him and how she'd always been there even if he wasn't even kind. She was her first true friend since Tobias… "I'll try to learn more about him okay? And I promise I'll tell you everything, Anita."

xxx

Two weeks working together with Tobias and Eric could see the changes in his life. He knew he had been depressed for a long time. He could admit it now. When he was on the field it was fine, the work took up all his mind. The worse was when the mission would be completed and he was back at the compound, back to the loneliness and mostly back to his mind.

Then came the new members of his team. Peter and Ocean. And everything changed. Ocean was so reckless and endearing that he added something to the dull daily life of Eric. A spark that was very annoying but that he knew he loved. And he knew Ocean liked their banter too. But it wasn't enough. What he needed really was someone to hold him the night and someone to help him.

Now that he had Tobias back in his daily life, he knew he was better. Maybe he was insane, but it was the truth. He had missed Tobias unbelievably the last few years. Even if they weren't friends now, even if they spent their days arguing and complaining with the other, he was back. And so was Eric's liveliness in his heart.

xxx

Because Eric and Tobias were working together on initiation it was more common to see them walking side by side, even if they weren't talking.

They were both stopped by a furious looking man; Eric recognized him instantly as Thunder from Anita's team. They never got along when Eric used to work under Anita's orders.

"I know you did something," he snarled. "Anita told me you leaders killed Tom. I know it's you Eric. The murder is practically emanating from you."

"You don't know what you're saying, soldier."

Thunder then laughed nervously. "Oh yes I know what I'm saying. You're a murderer. And Anita is going to be the next victim because she figured you out. And next week my body will be found dead at the bottom of the Chasm! Because that's what you do! You kill people!"

Eric grabbed him by the collar and got very close to his face. "Shut the fuck up," he hissed. "You don't want anyone to hear you talking about Thomas' death. You hear me?"

"You're a murderer!" Thunder yelled at his face, not caring that everyone near them was now watching the scene intently.

"I said, shut your mouth."

"A murderer!"

Eric tightened his grip on the guy's collar but then was reduced to nothing, his knees failing him when Thunder drove his powerful fist in Eric's stomach. Eric vaguely heard Tobias' voice shouting but he couldn't concentrate because Thunder hit him again in the exact same place but with his knee and Eric choked on air and he couldn't fight it when he was shoved and fell to the floor.

"That's it!" He heard Tobias' voice. He looked up, coughing, and saw him lunging forward and driving his fist straight to Thunder's face. Tobias then grabbed him by the shirt and hit him with his knee several times until the older man managed to get away. When he looked up his nose was bloodied and he spit some at Tobias' feet.

"How do you dare attacking your leader?" Tobias asked coldly. "You scum. Get the fuck away before I get my hands on you again."

Thunder glared, kept a hand under his bleeding nose and marched away.

Tobias grabbed Eric's arm and hoisted him up. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Eric said gruffly. In reality he wasn't. It was one thing to be feared by everyone in your faction. It was another to be called a murderer when he could barely live with himself, remembering all the factionless people he'd had to kill before. Then there was the fact that Tobias had saved him from the situation and the ugly feeling of humiliation was starting to creep up his chest.

Eric was struggling to keep his composure in front of so many people, in front of Tobias; so he mumbled something incoherent and fled the Pit. He heard Tobias calling his name but didn't turn.

When he was out of the Pit he heard running steps behind him and so he sped up.

"Eric!" Tobias was right behind him. He was considering actually running away but just at that moment Tobias grabbed his wrist and made him turn around.

"E-" Tobias froze and Eric knew it was because his eyes were moist.

"Leave me alone, Four."

"I-"

Eric snatched his wrist away and Tobias let him go. So he continued on his way, out of the compound and to the train.

xxx

Eric couldn't believe it; the first jumper was from Abnegation. It reminded him too much of Tobias and he wanted to hate the blond haired girl just for the sake of it.

Once all the initiates had jumped, Eric did too and came to stand beside Tobias. They must have looked very scary because the sixteen-year-old initiates looked terrified. Tobias and he waited for Lauren to lead the Dauntless born away, never looking away from the kids. It was important to look intimidating; that was the first step to respect.

"Welcome to Dauntless," Tobias said loudly beside him. "My name is Four and I will be your instructor during your initiation. I expect from you respect and perfect obedience."

One girl with short hair and dark skin scoffed. Eric raised his eyebrows. Was that girl deaf? Or weren't they intimidating enough? "What kind of name is that," the girl whispered quite loudly to the first jumper who was standing right next to her. Perfect. The fucking Stiff had to be friends with an annoying and stupid girl. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to hate the Stiff then.

Tobias looked sideways at him and Eric nodded. With his hands clasped behind his back, Tobias calmly made his way to Christina. He stopped right in front of her, so close that she had to crane her neck to look at him. Eric absentmindedly looked at Tobias' bulging triceps with the way he was holding his hands back.

"What is your name?" Tobias knew what he was doing; his calmness was more terrifying than an outburst could have been.

"Christina," the girls' voice was wavering. Of course she was regretting her cockiness. Tobias was intimidating.

"Well, Christina, you're not in fucking Candor anymore. Your mouth is to be shut unless your superiors speak to you. Understood, initiate?"

"Y-yes," she stuttered out.

"Good." Tobias glanced back at Eric and offered him a small nod before walking back to the front.

"While Four will be your instructor I will supervise your initiation as a leader. As Four said, I will expect full obedience and cooperation. We train soldiers, not mere fighters. If you don't understand this then you're good for the Ruins. On a more joyful tone, I welcome you to Dauntless. Now that introductions are done, Four will show you the compound."

"Follow me," Tobias was already walking away and Eric watched as the transfers hurried after him. Eric could remember when he was at their place, with Tobias awkwardly sticking close to him in his grey clothes. Things had changed, Tobias was very independent and strong now. He didn't need Eric anymore.

.

When Eric entered the cafeteria everyone stopped their conversation, as usual. And as usual Eric's eyes found Tobias in no time. Their eyes briefly met and then Tobias looked back down at his plate.

Eric couldn't believe his eyes; the fucking Stiff was sitting right next to Tobias and she was saying something to him. Without thinking, Eric walked straight toward them.

The Stiff's eyes were on him and he glared harshly, wanting to scare her away. Of course it was childish and she stayed right where she was sitting.

"Hello, Four," Eric said sweetly, and the sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

"Eric," Tobias nodded.

Eric sat down right beside Tobias, ignoring the stares of the whole cafeteria. Eric hadn't sat anywhere but at the leaders' table since he had been named a leader. But whatever, everyone knew that Tobias and he were working on initiation together, he could very well be sitting there to talk about work for all they knew.

"Aren't you going to introduce us, Four?"

"This is Tris. Tris, this is Eric, your leader," Tobias answered without missing a beat.

Eric gave her the fakest smile he could muster and hoped his anger was readable from his eyes. Tris blushed and look down. He wished she would just scoot away. He just hated the way he was looking at Tobias, it was the same glint there had been in Amar and the nurse's eyes. Want. Except that Tris was more innocent than the two others.

Clearing his throat and serving some food on a plate, Eric spread his legs on the bench until his knee was touching Tobias' under the table. From the corner of his eyes he could see Tobias staring at the side of his face but he ignored him. Tobias didn't move his leg away and resumed eating his own food. Eric could feel a blush spreading on his cheeks.

"What are you doing here, Eric?" Tobias asked quietly after some time.

"I'm eating."

Tobias snorted but let it go. "So have you decided to change Part IV of the stupid new folder?"

"No. It's how it's supposed to be and it will stay that way."

"Well maybe you can consider changing Part III, and VI and-"

"Just shut up." Eric hated him for again trying to convince Eric to modify the file, because he wouldn't. But he was quite pleased that Tobias had remembered the numbers of the different chapters; he had worked hard on the table of contents.

"I won't. Not until you accept how wrong it is."

"There is no room for this argument, Four. I won't change anything."

"That doesn't mean I'll do what's written word for word, I hope you know that."

"You're a soldier, you obey." It felt like it was a repeat of all their previous conversations.

Tobias knocked his knee against Eric's and the latter jumped slightly.

"Like hell I am."

"Shut your stubborn mouth and focus on your current task. Take the initiates to their dorms."

"Right."

Tobias stood up from the bench. Eric could feel the cold air on his arm and wished they could stay side by side. He wished he could just touch him.

"Initiates!" Tobias yelled.

.

The morning after, all the initiates gathered in front of Tobias in the Pit and Eric was standing a few feet behind him to observe and help if needed. He listened as Tobias explained the ranking system to the frightened initiates; he pitied them, only ten of them were going to make it in the end. He completely disapproved with this new rule. Jeanine had yelled at him when he suggested taking at least the twenty first ranked initiates in or let the lowest ranked for other jobs in the faction that didn't require to be a perfect soldier.

Eric had thought Tobias and he were scary enough for the initiates to take the news silently and obediently.

"Why do we only know this now?" Eric almost wanted to groan when he heard Christina's shrilly voice. How stupid was this girl exactly? Tobias had already made a scene the day before because she couldn't keep her mouth shut. Everyone was silent, obviously thinking the same.

Eric took his sweet time to turn his head toward her. He didn't glare; his impassive expression was frightening enough for initiates. Christina had her arms crossed over her chest; she was trying to look confident. Apparently she hadn't understood well enough what 'superior' meant. Even the Stiff beside her was pinching the bridge of her nose. His eyes went on Tobias; he was already looking back at him, eyebrows raised, silently asking if he should intervene. Eric nodded imperceptibly and Tobias mouthed an 'OK'.

The initiates watched as Tobias turned back toward the girl.

"Christina," he said her name and it sounded as if he was insulting her. "Have you forgotten your lesson from yesterday?"

The girl actually startled and then shook her head.

"What was that?"

"N-No."

"Surely you can repeat what I said then. So that everyone here remembers once and for all."

Christina blushed bright red. "You said I couldn't speak out of turn." It was pure humiliation.

"Oh is that right. And you just did that because?" He looked down expectantly at Christina but she wasn't answering.

"We are your superiors. You're not even a soldier. You're a mere initiate who has seventy percent chances of ending up factionless, so show some respect."

"We don't tolerate cowardice here," Eric cut in. "If you're afraid not to make it in the top ranks then by all mean, go." He gestured with his hand to the door. "Leave."

Of course no one dared to move.

"Great! I'll leave you with Four to begin your training."

.

During the week Eric came down again to the training room to see how Tobias was doing with his class. They were working on fighting moves and when Eric arrived he saw Tobias walking down the line of punching bags. The initiates were practicing their punches, working by pair, two for one bag.

They were really bad. Eric knew it was only the first week but it was still painful to watch them throw weak punches. And by the look on Tobias' face, he was desperate.

"Four," Eric caught his attention. He walked to him. "Do you want some help?"

"Please," Tobias sighed.

That's how Eric found himself spending the next hour helping initiates to correct their moves, commenting, complimenting –rarely- and scolding. Oddly he felt proud of himself because kids were listening to him and some of them were progressing already in only one hour. It reminded him too much of his own initiation, when he used to take Tobias to the very same training room and tutored him. For once it didn't alter his good mood, to recall the memories, but he felt proud, he felt at his place. And when he glanced at Tobias, he could see the same feelings in his eyes.

Only this time when he glanced sideways to check on Tobias, he was at the Stiff's punching bag. Eric barely noticed how bad her technique was because his eyes were stuck on Tobias' hand on her stomach as he helped her. And on her face, her eyes when he talked to her. And anger rose up inside him, ugly and unwanted. He looked away and forced himself to concentrate on the initiate in front of him who yelped when his fist missed the bag.

"Concentrate," Eric told him. The irony. "Don't just throw yourself forward without and good stance." Eric showed him how to stand correctly, and helped him further but his mind was still somewhere on Tobias and the Stiff. He looked back but Tobias was already on another initiate. The Stiff however was still staring at Tobias.

.

Then next week Eric went down to see Tobias and his initiates. It didn't end well; the Stiff interfered with his methods and he hated her even more. When he left the training room he went straight to his room and sat on his bed, trying to calm down.

Tobias barged into his room only ten minutes after Eric had arrived. If Eric wasn't dreading the coming conversation they were going to have, he would have laughed; it was like old times, they never used to knock on each other's door.

"What the fuck was that?" He yelled at Eric.

The young leader sprang from the bed and stepped closer to the boy. "I did my job!"

"By throwing knives at initiates? For fuck's sake what is wrong with you?"

"I told you," Eric hissed, "we're ordered to toughen up Initiation. You've read the file. And you have a perfect aim anyway, you wouldn't have killed them."

"I know you didn't create these rules! I know I once said you'd changed. But I was wrong and I know it now. You're still the same, Eric and I know you. Someone made you write this-"

"It doesn't matter, I-"

"Of course it fucking matters!" Tobias raised his voice again. "You're not one to follow the rules, and even less when they don't make sense!"

Eric clenched his jaw. He knew Tobias was right, and he repeated himself the same thing every day. Unfortunately he didn't have a choice. Not ever since he was thirteen years old. "I was given a job, Four. And I'm doing it."

Tobias actually groaned at this. "That is bullshit. I know it has something to do with that thing you refuse to tell me. I know it's not you."

After a long heavy pause, Eric answered softly, his gaze trained on the floor. "You know nothing."

"Because you never speak to me." Tobias was quick to answer.

"I didn't know we were on speaking terms, Four."

"You are so frustrating. I-" he groaned. "Just know that I'm not approving this file and I'm not following the things I don't agree with."

"You have to. Initiation is followed closely by Max-"

"So it is Max," Tobias' eyes widened a bit. "It's not you. You never decided to change the rules of initiation's training. Is he some sort of superior to you or-"

"It's not the point of the conversation," Eric dodged. "You have to follow the instructions on the file."

"I won't."

"Yes you will, I'm the leader here," Eric snarled, "and you will listen to me." He didn't see it coming when the taller boy stepped closer, so close to him he could feel his warmth and had to crane his neck to keep eye contact.

"You're not superior to me," Tobias hissed dangerously. "I could fight you and dominate you so easily." For a moment, Eric completely forgot the topic of the conversation, or more of the argument. His head was full of Tobias' presence. His eyes, his familiar smell, his warmth, his strength, his power. Eric swallowed, his lips parted. He wanted to reach for him so bad; maybe just touch his arm would be enough, yes just touching him. The next instant Tobias stepped back and walked out of his room.

It took Eric several minutes to realize that Tobias had had the last word of their argument. "Fuck."

One problem was that Eric still had to find a way to convince Tobias to follow the rules. Another was what dirty images Tobias' last words could inspire. 'Dominate you'.

xxx

Tonight was the night of the war game. Eric was confident that he could beat Tobias' team. He was smarter and Eric was almost sure that Tobias was going to choose the weaker initiates and the ones with no friend; it was probably because it reminded him of their initiation and he didn't want anyone to feel alone and left out. It was thoughtful and could make Eric smile, but not tonight. Tonight he would win.

He went out of his office, ready to take a few hours of sleep before the game and almost knocked into a small body.

"What do you want?" he sighed.

"I'm happy to see you too, Eric," Ocean smirked and flicked his soft hair away from his eyes. "I just wanted to chat."

"Since when do we 'chat'?" Eric walked down the corridor, headed for his apartment and of course, Ocean followed.

"Well now we do, I've decided."

"I don't think so. I'm off for a nap."

"Can I participate in the war game tonight?" Ocean asked with a pout.

"Well did I or Four ask you to? No? Yeah that means you're not invited."

"I know! But you're a leader and you like me and I'm cute."

Eric snorted. Yes, Ocean was cute, but he was also very annoying.

"So?" Ocean insisted. "Can I come too?"

"No."

"Eriiic," he pleaded.

"I said no." They were entering the Pit now, people were looking at them. People always looked at Eric.

"Pretty please," he pouted again. He looked too cute for his own good. It was his own fault that everyone thought he was younger than eighteen.

"Don't get on my nerves," Eric fought to sound stern and to keep a serious face on. Ocean quickly moved behind him and jumped on his back. His legs and arms wrapped tightly around him. "Don't do that in front of people!" Eric hissed, slightly panicked. This was not appropriate at all and broke the perfectly untouchable scary image everyone had of him. "Get down now!" He tugged desperately on Ocean's arms but he was afraid to hurt him if he pulled too hard. "Ocean!"

"Then let me come to the game tonight."

"No!"

"Eric, I'm ready to stay on your back for-"

"Alright! For fuck's sake, you can come, now get down."

Ocean actually squealed and then he hopped off. "Thanks!"

Eric groaned. "Make sure to find someone to come with. Or else we'll be an uneven number."

"No problem! I'll drag my boyfriend with me."

"Your what?" Eric spluttered. "I thought you had a girlfriend."

"No, I'm gay. I only said I had a girlfriend last time because Four was- hey, look it's him!" He pointed a few yards away and indeed there was Tobias, pushing a huge cart in front of him. "What is he doing?"

"It's the guns for the war game," Eric said as he squinted. It couldn't be- "Wait." He marched towards Tobias and silently stopped him in his tracks stepping right in front of the cart; it almost knocked him over but he didn't care. Tobias had dared to disobey. Max was going to be furious at them. He took one of the gun and sneered at Tobias.

"What the fuck, Four?" Eric snapped, tossing the paintball gun back in the container.

"A problem, Eric?"

"Yes there's a fucking problem. Are you incapacitated to read instructions?"

"Shut up," he rolled his eyes. "I know you wanted neurodarts guns, or at least Max wanted neurodarts. But I told you, I'm not following the new rules."

"Yes, you fucking will!"

"I'm not! And you can't make me. You have no authority on me and you know it," Tobias said in a softer voice, as if he didn't want the others around them to hear.

"I am your leader."

"Yeah, that's your title," Tobias walked around the cart to be right in front of him and spoke again in that soft voice. "But have you managed to order me around since you've become a leader? No, you haven't. You're supposed to punish soldiers who don't obey or worse, banish them. You did neither to me and that's because you still care."

Eric jerked away, a blush already creeping on his cheeks. "Shut the fuck up," he hissed. "You don't know what you're talking about." Tobias looked at him sadly, almost disappointed.

"Jesse!" Eric barked at one of the soldiers around them.

"Yes, Sir."

"Get these paintball guns back to the weaponry and bring back the neurodarts ones. Bring them to the train tracks as soon as possible."

"Yes, Sir!"

"Ocean, help him," Eric called out to him. The boy rolled his eyes but he uncrossed his arms and walked to the container.

"Yeah, alright, Eric. I'll see you later."

"You're insane," Tobias muttered. "Are you trying to scare away the initiates? This shit is dangerous and you know it. Not all of them have a great aim."

"Let's hope you've taught your initiates well enough then," Eric smiled.

.

As expected Tobias' team was composed of the weaker initiates. And of course Tobias had chosen the Stiff first. It made the blood in Eric's veins boil but he was even more determined to win the stupid game.

As it happened Tobias' team had already found out where Eric's team's flag was and they were attacking them. Ocean was laughing gleefully not too far from Eric and it annoyed him, this was a serious game. He wanted to win.

Eric was in the middle of a firing battle with Tobias himself. They were both hiding behind trees and trying to shoot the other. It was taking too long, one of them had to change tactics, he knew it. He shot again at the tree Tobias was hiding behind and hid back, his back resting on the trunk, his breathing heavy. He recharged his rifle with neurodarts and took a deep breath, preparing to attack again. But just then he was shoved sideways and lost his balance.

The next thing he knew, he was sprawled on the humid ground and Tobias was falling on top of him. He didn't even have his rifle, he had thrown it away. So he wanted and hand-to-hand combat. Eric smirked even as Tobias grabbed his collar, lifted him a bit and then shoved him back down, his head taking the most of the force. The earth had cushioned the impact and he laughed. It was hysteria. He hadn't fought Tobias since their final fight at their own initiation. Maybe this is what they both needed; the tension between them had been getting worse and worse and words and arguments couldn't be enough relief for them.

"Having fun?" Tobias growled. He was straddling Eric's hips and was pressing down painfully on Eric's shoulder.

Eric brought up his knee a quick as he could, hitting Tobias at the bottom of his back. It hurt, he knew it, and as Tobias grunted, his grip on Eric loosened and the latter managed to shove him away and stand up.

The next second they were facing each other, in a fight stance. "I am," Eric grinned. Then he lunged forward, his fist headed straight to Tobias' face and of course Tobias dodged that one and tried to take advantage of Eric's proximity to hit him but Eric was prepared and threw himself backwards just in time.

"Woohoo! Go Eric!" Ocean's voice cheered.

Tobias closed the distance and threw punches after punches. Eric avoided some, took some, it was painful, but Tobias was so caught up in his fury that he didn't see it coming when Eric threw one arm around his neck and pulled him down. His balance betrayed him and he stumbled to the side, glaring at Eric.

"Fuck," he growled and lunged again and this time Eric suffered his blows. It was expected, he knew Tobias was better than him at fist fights.

"Oh fuck," it was Eric's time to curse. He tried to keep a safe distance between them to recover for a few seconds but suddenly an intense pain burned from the back of his neck and he felt all the muscles of his body electrify. His vision went black.

The next time he opened his eyes he was laying on the cold hard ground, and Tobias' panicked face was right above him.

"Eric! Eric!" He said frantically. "Eric! Can you see me?"

His vision was still too foggy for him to process everything. The next thing he noticed is that his head was propped up on Tobias' lap and Tobias' cold hand was rubbing at the side of Eric's neck, where it was somehow hurting like hell.

"What happened?" He grumbled.

"How many fingers, Eric?" Tobias held up three fingers above Eric's head.

"Three."

"Thank God. Does it hurt a lot?" Tobias asked, a deep frown edging between his brows.

"My- my neck? What happened?" The hand on his neck rubbed more vigorously.

"Fuck what am I supposed to do, I'm not a medic."

"Tobias?" Eric groaned and reached to his neck to stop Tobias' hand. "What happened?"

"You got a neurodart shot in your neck."

"Fuck." No wonder his neck throbbed. "How long since you removed it?"

"I don't know. Like, three minutes. You were out. You collapsed. I don't know, is this supposed to happen? It's only simulating pain why- why did-"

"Tobias," Eric said sternly.

The latter stopped rambling and as soon as he met Eric's eyes it seemed that he understood what Eric meant. They were the role models here, surrounded by novices. Eric looked around them and indeed all the initiates were there, watching. He noticed the Stiff holding his team's flag but barely cared about the fucking game. His neck hurt, Tobias cared about him and they needed to look composed.

Eric didn't think he had seen Tobias that panicked since their initiation.

"Ok," Tobias said softly. "Can you sit up?"

Eric nodded and with his help he was even able to stand up fully. "Who shot me?"

"Will, it was Will, from the tranfers. But are you okay?" he whispered so that the others wouldn't hear, "Should you be standing up or- I don't know if you should get medical attention right now. Are neurodarts dangerous?"

"No, it's fine," Eric answered in a murmur to keep the conversation private. "It only simulates the nerves but it doesn't do any damage. But if you shoot someone close to the spinal cord of course the pain is going to be intense. That's why the head, the neck and the back were off limits for the game."

"Okay uh- when will the pain go? It still hurt doesn't it?" Eric noticed Tobias' hand twitching at his side, as if he wanted to rub the spot again. If he wasn't feeling that woozy he could have relished the fact that Tobias was very worried about him. It was funny considering that minutes earlier Tobias was fighting him.

"It still hurts a bit. But it's all good now. Just- I'm not in shape to yell at Will, you need to do it."

"Yeah, of course. Just, don't collapse again, please."

Eric couldn't help but let out a small smirk. Tobias let out a breathless laugh and after making sure that Eric was still standing without his help, he turned around and looked for Will. He marched to the boy, his back set straight and contracted briefly the muscles of his arms.

Eric's attention was taken from Tobias and his body when he saw Ocean and his boyfriend approaching him. "Eric, are you alright?" the smaller boy whispered. "You collapsed and we didn't know what to do." Eric nodded and the three of them turned to look at Tobias when the latter raised his voice.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He was right in front of Will, towering over him. "Explain yourself!"

"I- I-" Will stuttered, not being able to answer.

"Are you too stupid to follow a rule? YOU ARE TRAINED TO BE A FUCKING SOLDIER, YOU FOLLOW ORDERS!" Tobias yelled so loudly that Eric flinched. He hoped no one saw him; he was supposed to be the scary one. "Now listen to me!" Tobias continued and walked even closer to Will; he was absolutely looming over him. "Points will be taken for this and you will be severely punished for attacking your leader and for not being able to follow a rule. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes," Will whispered.

"I said, do you understand?" Tobias yelled right at his face.

"Yes, sir!"

"You will be at your best behavior from now on!"

"Yes, sir!"

Will had tears in his eyes. He wasn't even holding his gun anymore; it lay at his feet. The boy was trembling and doing his very best to look back at his trainer. Tobias was frightening when furious, there was no doubt in it.

Eric felt unexpectedly really sorry for the sixteen-year old boy. They didn't even know if Will had shot his neck on purpose.

Tobias looked back at Eric quickly with worry in his eyes and when he saw him still standing, he walked up the line of initiates. "All of you!" he barked. "Back to the train tracks in silence and I want to see you use those damn legs! If in five minutes I see that one of you hasn't arrived to the train tracks, the whole group will be punished! Go!"

Eric watched impressed, as the initiates hurried to run away, in almost perfect lines of four, their weapons in hand. Only the full dauntless members stayed with Tobias and Eric.

Some of them looked at Eric with worry in their eyes but they didn't dare to walk up to him. He guessed they were still afraid of him, even if he was on the verge on collapsing. His legs felt so weak.

Who the hell had invented neurodarts?

"Eric are you okay? You look really pale." It was Tobias, he was holding Eric up by his arm and frankly Eric wanted one thing and it was to let go of his weight. "I can- I can carry you if you want."

Eric snorted at the ridiculous picture it made in his mind. "No."

"Or I could," Ocean said with a giggle. "If I can manage to lift you."

"Ocean, take a few men with you and get to the train tracks quickly so that the initiates can get on the next train with adults."

"Yes, sir," he smiled and tugged on his boyfriend's sleeve and together they hurried away to pick up other soldiers with them.

When Eric looked back at Tobias his insides fluttered warmly because he still looked way too worried.

"I can walk, Tobias."

Eventually Tobias let him walk on his own to the train tracks but he was still walking too close to him, and Eric ignored the hand he could feel hovering behind his back. Tobias was ready to catch him if his legs failed him. That fact alone made him flustered and Eric was grateful that it was at night and the sky was pitch black.

They progressed slowly because Eric was dizzy and refused to be carried around; so when they arrived at the train tracks, they were alone. Everyone had already gone home.

During the ride home the pain lessened and Eric was able to think more clearly. Somehow the whole situation angered him. It bothered him that Tobias appeared so worried about him when he never usually cared. Also because of that stupid initiate from Tobias' team, he had been humiliated in front of the novices. When he looked up to find Tobias staring at him with worry in his eyes, he glared and looked away.

.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asked quietly. They were walking down the corridors of their rooms. And they were alone since everyone lived in the upper levels.

"Why do you care?" Eric sneered. He ignored the fluttering in his chest as he recalled how the boy was worried and rubbing his neck and now he was checking up on him. He sighed softly.

"You are so annoying," Tobias huffed. "Just tell me if you're okay."

"Maybe if you had controlled that initiate from your team I would have been alright!"

"Maybe if you hadn't imposed neurodarts for the war game you would have been alright! Imagine if it'd been paintballs, uh? Will would have shot you, you would have yelled, and it would have only made a minor bruise. Look at you now, you can barely stand-"

"I'm fine! For fucks sake the pain lasts for a couple of minutes only!"

"Then why are you still holding your neck like that? Yeah that's what I thought." Tobias grasped the hand that Eric was indeed keeping on his neck. "It was a shitty idea and you know it. And I know you're not behind this but why-"

"Shut up!" Eric snatched his hand back.

"What is wrong with you?" Tobias practically yelled. Eric didn't answer. They had stopped in front of his door, Tobias towering over him. "And will you fucking talk to me?" he said softly.

As he looked up at Tobias, Eric felt the anger of the argument fade away. And exhaustion suddenly took over, he wanted nothing but to collapse on his bed.

"Just stop asking questions about everything, Tobias," he said tiredly. Then he opened the door to his room and shut it on Tobias' nose.

He unzipped his black windbreaker and dropped it on the floor. He unlaced his boots and slipped in under the covers of the bed without bothering to undress. It was uncomfortable but he was too tired to care; he shifted until he was on his side and sighed deeply. Only then did he realize that he had called Tobias by his actual name.

He was exhausted but the sleep wouldn't come. He felt lonely. He needed a warm and comforting body next to him. He had slept alone for forever, he didn't know why now he craved a presence next to him. Someone to hold him. And because no one was hugging him, he felt horribly empty inside.

His mind wandered for hours, until he finally decided to slip out of bed and undress from his dirty clothes to take a long warm shower. When he was clean he lay back down and eventually he fell asleep, even more tired than before, with Tobias occupying his mind.

.

In the morning Eric knew he looked really bad. He had huge bags under his eyes, still looked pale and couldn't bother to shave his beard. He at least put some product in his hair so that the longer strands wouldn't fall onto his face and it didn't look bad at all.

When he opened the door of his room he froze. Tobias was leaning on the opposite wall, and looked up, as if he had been waiting for Eric.

"Eric!" Okay, so he was waiting. "How- how are you feeling?"

Eric couldn't find what to answer until he stepped into the corridor and closed his door behind him.

"Exhausted." What he really wanted to say was, lonely, tired, that he needed a hug, and he wanted to ask why did he wait outside his door, showing that he cared when he was so usually cold.

"Well. I can see it on your face," Tobias gestured awkwardly to his own face. "Um- I thought we could get breakfast together?" He asked hopefully. "Or something. I mean."

Tobias was flustered. Eric wondered if he was still in his dream. He wanted to be happy about it. He was. Right now he couldn't remember why they had stopped being friends.

"Ok." Maybe he flashed a small smile.

"So how is your neck?" Tobias asked when they were walking side by side.

"Listen, I know you. I know that you think no one cares about you, no- don't interrupt me. You think no one cares, and you have no idea why I walked with you to breakfast and asked to eat with you. Right? Well I care, alright. I care about you. So would you please stop following dangerous and reckless rules because not only they're a risk for the initiates, but for you too. I don't want you to harm yourself in a stupid find the flag game. I don't want you to write stupid harder rules for initiation because Max asked you too if it means you're in danger. Or I am. It could have been me, shot in the neck, or another initiate. These neurodart shits were too dangerous for a game. But because it happened to you and I panicked last night, it made me realize that I really don't want to follow the new initiation rules and this time I won't let you force me to-"

Eric didn't listen to Tobias' speech in whole. All he could think about was 'I care about you'. These four words were on repeat in his head and even if he was looking back at Tobias, he wasn't paying attention anymore.

"Eric!" Tobias knocked his knee against Eric's under the table. "I'm being serious."

"I don't think you've talked to me that much in years," was all Eric found to say.

"Yes, well, I decided I needed to communicate to make you understand. I will follow the old initiation file from now on."

Eric startled at that. "What? You can't."

"Did you even listen to me the past minute?"

"I'm your superior, you will obey me when I order you to follow that fucking file. And-" he moaned, hiding his face briefly behind his hands, "I don't want to have that same conversation with you one more time."

"And did you forget when I reminded you that you are not able to order me. You never did, not once since you got named leader." Tobias had leaned closer when he talked, provoking him into another argument again.

"I will not fight with you here," Eric hissed. They were in the Cafeteria, still; they needed to look like they were a great team in front of the initiates and Max.

"You care about me as much as I care about you."

Eric growled not knowing what to answer to that without letting know the embarrassment that overtook him. Because yes, he cared about Tobias, he could easily admit to himself that the love he once felt for him never left. But now Tobias knew, and now Tobias said he cared again. Even if Eric had been the biggest jerk and had rejected him as his friend a year ago.

"And that's all I need to know," Tobias said with finality. He smiled briefly and then stood up for the table, leaving a flustered Eric behind.

xxx

Folder in hand, Eric stepped into Tobias' room. He didn't knock, like old times. He was shocked to see the Stiff, Tris, sitting on his bed and the boy was kneeled in front of her.

"What the hell is she doing here?" He snapped. Both of them jumped and Tobias whirled around to face him.

"Eric?"

"What is she doing here?" he snarled. The girl looked frightened behind Tobias. The latter stepped to Eric and took the stance he always had in public now; shoulder set tightly, back straight and fists closed at his sides. It emanated power and confidence.

"She was attacked, I was simply tending to her wounds," he said calmly. Too calmly.

"So you just take her to your room?"

"Yes, I did! Three boys tried to kill her; I'm not sending her back to the dorms! She staying."

"Like hell she is!"

"Why, why does it even matter to you? You don't have a say in this. Just give me the papers and leave!"

Eric growled and threw the folder on the side in a powerful move. The folder opened and papers slid on the floor. They had been so caught up in their argument that neither noticed how close they were standing in front of the other. Tobias was still taller than him and it was humiliating how he had to tilt his head up to stare into his blue eyes. He still found him breathtaking. "You infuriate me," he hissed.

"That's what I said."

"What?" Eric whispered.

"A year ago, I told you the exact same words when we- when we had that fight."

Eric remembered that day too well; Tobias had tried to kiss him.

They were standing so close, Eric's eyes darted to his plump lips and then back up to his eyes. Tobias' pupils were dilated. He swayed closer. Tobias' nose grazed against his cheekbone. Eric tilted his head until his lips were millimeters away for the boy's. He could still remember how Tobias had freaked out when he had jerked away from the kiss and because of that he couldn't find it in himself to close the gap between their lips. But this time it was different; Tobias' want was obvious in his eyes and he still hadn't stepped away. Eric felt high on adrenaline; the tip of his fingers tingled, something was stirring in his guts and his face was so hot.

"That day," Tobias murmured, "you pushed me away."

"And you told me to forget." Eric hissed. He swallowed, he couldn't take it anymore. "Do something," he said so lowly he wasn't even sure Tobias could hear. But the next instant the taller boy inhaled sharply and pressed his lips on Eric's. The sensation was indescribable. Tobias was kissing him willingly. Eric had imagined them kissing so many times in the past; it was nothing like he'd ever thought. He thought he was too hot before but now his cheeks were on fire and so were his ears.

Tobias parted his lips and encouraging Eric's to open too and Eric felt so weak in the knees he had to hold onto Tobias' shirt. Then Tobias went to suck at Eric's bottom lip and he tugged at his lip piercing. He licked it sensually and it made Eric pliant, whining softly; he let Tobias press open-mouthed kissed repeatedly on his lips. Eric separated their lips when he felt like it was too intense and he couldn't process everything with his senses flooding him everywhere with Tobias. His warmth, his smell, his skin, his taste. They stayed close, staring into the eyes of the other, their eyes almost black. Eric's hands were still gripping at the Tobias' shirt and he hadn't noticed before but one of Tobias' arm was wound around his back and his other hand rubbing at his waist. It felt so good, and so right.

Eric jumped in for another kiss, startling the other boy and making him stumble back for a bit as they kissed more urgently. Tobias wasn't taking it, he kissed harder, gripped the back of Eric's neck with one large hand. His other one slid to Eric's hip and when he pressed down with his thumb, Eric gasped and broke the kiss. Their foreheads were pressed together and Eric shut his eyes. His and Tobias' breaths were mixing as they panted. After a moment Eric needed more and dove back into a kiss but Tobias made it chaste.

"We have company," he said hoarsely. At that Eric's eyes widened; he had actually forgotten the Stiff's presence in the room. Both of them looked back at the bed. Tris was there, looking extremely flustered; her face completely red. It was obvious she wanted to be anywhere but here.

Tobias finally stepped away from Eric and they walked back toward her. Tobias looked uncomfortable, Eric couldn't care less that the Stiff saw; maybe she'd learn to stop looking at his boy like she wanted him. Maybe she was the reason he still had a hand gripping Tobias' shirt at his side.

"Uh, sorry, Tris," Tobias mumbled. Eric scoffed. "Eric will go. You can sleep in my bed and I'll take the floor."

"Are you fucking serious?" Eric whispered to himself. Then he glared at Tris. "And don't you fucking dare to speak a word about what you just saw to anyone or I'll take care of-" Tobias cut him with a small shove against his chest. "What, Four?" He snapped.

"She won't tell a word, it's fine. I'll walk you out." He placed a hand on Eric's lower back and led him to the door. Eric ignored the things such an innocent touch could do to his guts and shoved Tobias' arm away.

When they were outside the room, Tobias closed the door behind them. "Oh shit I can't believe we just did that in front of someone."

"Such a Stiff," Eric rolled his eyes. Tobias glared and stepped into his personal space. "We need to talk," he said softly. Tobias rested his cheek against Eric's temple. Eric ran a hand up and down Tobias' chest and breathed in his scent. "What just happened-"

"Tell me you don't want me to forget it." Eric didn't care if his voice sounded pleading. He didn't think he could take another rejection. He needed Tobias so much.

"No. I want it to happen again and again and again." When he spoke his lips grazed Eric's temple.

"Yes." Eric nodded and his hands resting above Tobias' hips squeezed hard, he needed to ground himself and believe the moment was real.

"Trust me," Tobias whispered and leaned back a bit to find his eyes. "Let go."

Eric's face felt so hot. Those words were from a long time ago, it was what he had told the tall Abnegation transfer when they had both stood on the edge of the hole.

Tobias chuckled. "No, really, let go of me you're hurting me."

Eric's hands jerked away from his sides. He had forgotten he was still squeezing hard. He ducked his head a bit. It was humiliating.

"What about your girlfriend?"

"My what?"

"The nurse," Eric glared at him.

"Oh no. No, we ended things ages ago."

They fell into a comfortable silence, with Tobias using the tips of his fingers to stroke Eric's cheeks and jaw.

"Eric? Don't call me Four again."

"What, shall I call you 'baby'?" Eric said in a sarcastic tone.

"Don't laugh you already called me that once. But you know what I meant."

"I fucking did not," Eric said hotly.

"Yes you did. When I was crying and you took me to your room."

"I- Shut up."

Tobias chuckled again and looked down at him fondly. "Go. We need to sleep."

"Kiss me." Eric ignored his shame, he needed it again. Tobias' lips parted and the boys leaned at the same time in a languid kiss, sucking at each other's lip loudly. Eric found that Tobias liked to focus on his lip piercing. Eric liked it too; it made things to him when Tobias tugged on it between his teeth. Eric made a helpless noise at the back of his throat, and to make things worse, Tobias slipped his tongue inside Eric's mouth and caressed his tongue briefly. Too briefly. All the blood rushed to his crotch but then Tobias stepped back, one hand lingering on Eric's jaw. He stroked his cheek and leaned quickly just to press their lips together again, chastely.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Eric nodded and took a step back too. He caught sight of Tobias' eyes glistening but before he could be sure of it the taller boy turned away and walked back inside. Eric eventually made the walk down the corridor to his room, cursing at the uncomfortable situation in his pants.

Later in the night he smiled to himself at the thought of Tobias having to pick up all the papers from his room's floor.

.

---

Hope you liked it! I really do, this fucking fic took all my time this week and I didn't study. What wouldn't I do for Eric and Tobibi.

I'm posting the second part of this 'chapter' soon, it just needs proof-reading!