Hey all you faithful readers! Thanks so much for reading this story and commenting on it! Sorry it's taken me so long to update this story. Ok, so as you may have noticed by the title, this is part one of one chapter. I know, I know, cruel of me to split it up. However, I've pretty much written the second part of this chapter, and I decided it was better to go ahead and post part of it. So, as always, I hope you enjoy this! Please, post your feedback! I so appreciate it :) To all my reviewers for this last chapter, jayley, lifeinpoetry, Lady Emily, Chefz, Jezz, Silver Scorpion, poller366, saphiretwin369, MonkeyKool, IrishShamrock86, Chromde, Cassie, Krissy, and quietsomeone, thank you so so much! Each review is so enjoyable to read, no matter how short :) So any comments, suggestions, anything at all is awesome! Hope this is satisfactory.

"Ok, ok, so don't stay for Frank. But what about me?"

As soon as the words left his lips, Joe Hardy wished with all his heart he could snatch them back, but as it was, the words hung out brazenly, like so much dirty laundry on the line. In fact, as Joe's mind distantly noted, the sentence seemed to echo over and over again in the close quarters of the hotel room. However, Joe's main focus was on the girl whom he had just rashly questioned.

The girl in question looked stunned, blue eyes wide with shock and something else that Joe couldn't quite identify. For once, the great girl detective appeared speechless, and Joe held his breath while Nancy Drew took a barely audible quick intake of hers. The soft sound twisted Joe's gut and the surprise in her face provided him with little comfort. Confusion swarmed her face, as Nancy stood, staring at Joe from her seat on the bed. Blinking once, twice, Nancy's eyes raised to meet Joe's own, and Joe gulped, shifting his eyes away quickly. Can't have her reading any volumes in my eyes today.

"What do you mean, what about you?" The soft, questioning tone of Nancy's voice made Joe instinctively look at Nancy again. And then wished he hadn't. The careful scrutiny in her eyes had Joe squirming, and simply added to his discomfort. Those eyes never missed much, and Joe had a sick feeling that his own eyes weren't hiding enough.

Think of something! Quick, quick! His mind screamed at him, and Joe desperately clawed for a thought, something, anything. The detached part of himself noted that panic never encouraged quick thinking, but Joe couldn't help it. There was too much at stake here. He had to think, had to come up with something to distract Nancy from her analysis of his blunt statement. Discovery of his feelings wasn't—couldn't be—an option. He had to think of a way to make his awkward question innocuous, insubstantial, unimportant. Yet, despite this knowledge, Joe found his mind a blank slate. Normally, Joe was fairly proficient at twisting his words to worm his way out of tenuous situations. This time however, he couldn't think of a single line to help himself out of this hole he had dug. So he grasped at the first thing that came to his mind.

"What do you mean, what do I mean, what about me?" Joe blurted out. Oh yeah, THAT was real smooth, Joe groaned internally. By the puzzled look on Nancy's face, it sounded as ridiculous to her as it did to him.

"I mean, what was the meaning behind that sentence? What were you trying to say?" Nancy carefully explained, peering closely at Joe. Her whole attitude was that of a detective who was carefully measuring their suspects reactions to an accusation, and for once, Joe felt sorry for those who had faced up to this girl detective. The sudden urge to break down and confess glimmered through his mind, and Joe gulped and thrust the thought aside. He wasn't a criminal and he wouldn't crack under Nancy's dissecting gaze. I can do this, I CAN. No matter what, he had to cover up, because really, he didn't have any other choice. Whatever fragile remains he had of his relationship with Nancy was precious, and he didn't want a sudden declaration of love to cut those remaining threads that held him to her with.

And yet…as Joe paused, scrambling for words, something inside him almost—Joe blinked—almost wanted to tell Nancy, to confess his feelings. You know it would feel so nice, getting it off your chest, once and for all, his subconscious whispered to him, taunting him with the tempting possibility. Maybe, maybe it would be good to finally get everything out in the open. To tell her the truth. I mean, she deserves to know…doesn't she? The thoughts were as frightening as they were exhilarating, flashing through his mind like mini firework explosions. He could, he might, actually tell Nancy.

Taking a deep breath, Joe stepped forward towards the questioning eyes of Nancy Drew, still sitting upright and at attention on the flowered comforter of the bed. This was it, the girl of his dreams would finally know how he felt. Looking down at the floor to bolster his courage, Joe began.

"Nancy, what I was trying to say—what I—I mean to say I—," raising his eyes to meet Nancy, Joe paused in his rambling, trying to collect his thoughts. After all, this was probably the most important speech he would ever give, he needed it to be perfect, worded in such a way that his feelings would come across as sincere and as powerful as he felt them. Nancy sat, blinking up at him expectantly, an almost—Joe realized with sudden confusion—almost wary look in her eyes, as well as a hint of that unidentifiable emotion. Her hands were folded carefully in her lap, her loose pony-tail letting her wavy strands of blonde hair come out in wisps around her face, and her head was tilted slightly to the side, as it always did when she felt she was about to hear important information on a case.

It was so familiar. She was so familiar, so much like home that it hit Joe like a physical blow and for a moment, it was either to cry or to laugh. How could he not have realized his feelings for this girl in front of him? All these years, and he never knew. She was perfect, and yet he never even thought to consider her as anything more than a friend. Beautiful, kind, sweet, and always putting others before herself, Joe smiled inwardly, thinking of her, letting the thoughts calm him—preparing him for the talk of a lifetime. Raising his eyes to meet Nancy's blue ones, Joe breathed out slowly.

"Yes Joe?" Nancy's soft voice penetrated through the fog of his mind. Her face had softened, eyes still watchful, but ready to hear whatever it was he would say. She really was perfect, Joe thought. He didn't deserve her.

And suddenly, Joe realized he couldn't do it. He couldn't do this to her. Couldn't ruin her life with this sudden complication. This was the absolute worst timing possible. Joe knew Nancy, and he knew that if he threw this curve-ball at her, she would be thrown off, confused, maybe even hurt by it all, and she would have to try and fix it. Fix him, just like she always did throughout their years as friends, just like he always made her do. Yes, he would rather have the burden off his chest, but not if it meant throwing it on her. Yes, he wished he had realized his feelings before Nancy fell in with Frank. And yes, he wished she would know exactly how perfect he felt she was, but no—he couldn't give in to the selfish desire to be free from the weight of his secret. He didn't deserve her, and she didn't deserve this. With the thought, his mind cleared, clarity restored. Raising his head yet again, Joe cleared his throat.

"What I was trying to say was, what about all of us, your friends and family that you're leaving behind. What are you going to do about them? I mean—" Joe continued with more enthusiasm, even as a sick feeling grew in his gut at the falseness of it all—"we want what's best for you, of course, but don't you think you should talk it over with us? With—" Joe gulped, "With those who care about you?"

As Joe paused, breath coming out faster than he would have liked, he awaited Nancy's response. Nancy blinked, shaking her head.

"Oh. I see"

Watching the blond head in front of him now, it occurred to Joe that that spark in Nancy's eyes had seemed to have disappeared. In fact—Joe realized with a shock of concern, and sadness—they almost seemed veiled, as if she had purposefully put a firewall, to protect—or hide—what lay behind. His reveries were put on an abrupt hold, as Nancy sighed, and looked down at her hands. Her thumbs were twiddling nervously, in the nervous habit Nancy accused Joe of creating in her. He had always had had the habit of fiddling with his thumbs, and by spending time with him, Nancy had adopted it as well. Despite the fond memory of Nancy's dismay on discovering her Joe-habit, the tightening of his gut warned him that Nancy's nervousness meant she had an explanation for him, and one that she knew he wouldn't like.

"Joe," Nancy's eyes rose to meet his, as Joe stepped back, steadying his back against the wall, trying to brace himself for what was to come, while maintaining a nonchalant façade. The only sign of nervousness was the subtle increased pace of Joe's clicking down the hotel room pen. He knew he should probably just set the pen down, but he needed SOME way to express his stress. Subconsciously, the detective part of him was interested to note a hint of—was it guilt?—clouding Nancy's sky blues, and wonder at it.

"Actually, I have talked to my friends and family about it."

Joe took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as the implications of that statement sped through his mind. Studying Nancy's face intently, Joe shook his head.

"What do you mean? I thought this was a split second decision. You just got the offer—" Joe halted as the guilt in Nancy's eyes became almost palatable. "Did-didn't you?" Joe finished, hoping against hope, willing his dread at Nancy's reply to be totally unfounded. Don't let her say it, please don't let her say it. The thought ran like a prayer desperately through his mind. All thoughts halted however, as Nancy sighed, and looked down.

"Not exactly, just. The offer came about a week ago."

"You mean you got the offer while you were still in River Heights?" Joe queried, forcing himself to let loose the breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"That's right." Nancy nodded, head still down, awkwardly fingering the worn cuff of her jeans.

"Well, I guess that makes sense that you mentioned that fact to your friends and family in River Heights." Joe replied, trying to swallow back his worry. Of course Nancy would have told her friends right there in River Heights. He couldn't read too much into this.

Nancy smiled, and nodded, still refusing to meet his eyes though. Any comfort he might have had from Nancy's explanation drained away at her attitude. And then it occurred to him.

"Wait, so did you come here thinking you would accept the offer?"

Joe knew he had hit upon the wrong—or right question then, as Nancy started, sputtering slightly.

"Oh, I don't know. I was planning on leaving when I came here..kinda I mean I..."

Nancy's voice trailed off as Joe stepped forward, eyes intent, zeroing in on the girl in front of him.

"I think I understand now. What you mean is you came to Bayport, and got together with Frank, and decided to stay? But since you've broken up with him, now you decide to leave?" Everything was clear to Joe now. Of course Nancy didn't mention moving to Europe. Up until today she was planning on staying. Why would she mention leaving if she had the guy of her dreams to stay for?

"Joe I—"

"It's ok Nancy, I understand. But maybe—" as much as it hurt him to say it, he had to. He would say anything, anything, if it meant Nancy staying. "Maybe if Frank knew you were leaving for Europe, he would realize that he—he can't let you go." Joe gulped hard. He needed this to work. The thought that Nancy would stay for Frank was difficult to accept, but he would, if it meant that Nancy would stay close.

"Joe—I—I'm sorry, but—" Nancy paused, and Joe noted with a growing sense of apprehension that the guilt in her eyes hadn't faded a bit at his suggestion. "It wouldn't change Frank's mind."

Joe let out his breath in a sigh of frustration.

"You don't know that, Nan! When you think you're about to lose someone forever, it wakes you up, believe me." You don't know how much.

Nancy had been looking down at her hands, but now her eyes shot up to meet his. The look of hurt, and frustration in her eyes was raw enough to make Joe literately stumble back.

"Yeah? Well, it doesn't always work that way, trust me, I know. Don't push it, Joe, ok?"

A little put off by Nancy's vehement refusal, Joe paused, bemused, but he couldn't just let it lie there. Letting out a sigh of pretend acceptance, Joe stepped forward in an attempt to make the conversation more casual, personal. After all, they were just two friends—well as far as Nancy knew, Joe mused inwardly. But, almost instinctively, Nancy pulled back against the pillows, her eyes becoming veiled. The action, and the wary look in her eyes as she moved away at his advance hurt, more than he thought possible. Pushing the feelings aside, Joe cleared his throat.

"Well, Frank deserves to know your plans, even if you aren't together anymore. If he's the one making you make this decision, he'd want to know. I know Nancy, he's my brother, and he wouldn't want you making this decision at the last second because of him."

"Joe…" Nancy's voice came softly from her lowered head, and Joe bent forward to listen. "He already knew I was planning on going to Europe."

"What?" Joe's heart began to beat harder in his chest, almost drowning out all other sounds, as he absorbed this new information. "But surely—surely he changed your mind when you got together? I mean, he was the guy of your dreams, Nancy!"

Sighing, and looking more guilty than ever, Nancy shook her head.

"Frank knew I was planning on going to Europe, and we both knew that our relationship—it wasn't permanent. We weren't—" Nancy paused, swallowing nervously. "We weren't planning on staying together."

"Oh come on," Joe scoffed, feeling his irritation growing. "You really expect me to believe that? You were so in love! How could you not think it would be permanent?"

Raising her eyes to meet Joe's at last, Nancy took a deep breath.

"No, you don't understand. We got together, planning on it not being permanent."

"What do you mean?" Joe's voice sounded as befuddled as he felt, and his frustration at Nancy's enigmatical responses was growing by the second.

"It was—it was an experiment of sorts. So the break-up, it was expected, Joe. And Frank, he knows I'm headed to Europe. My relationship with Frank—that doesn't have anything to do with my decision."

"No, no." Joe shook his head fiercely. "I know you Nancy, and I know that you've been dreaming of getting together with Frank for years. You wouldn't get into a relationship with him, knowing it wouldn't last, for any reason. Experiment? Yeah, right."

Nancy looked stricken at Joe's words, and for a moment, Joe felt guilty, knowing he was the cause. But he had to know the truth, once and for all. An explanation, anything, something, to reassure him, or else…

"Joe, I'm serious. We planned that we wouldn't stay together, and I'm ok with that. I promise." The look of complete sincerity in Nancy's eyes was the final straw.

"What, so you mean I've been jealous of Frank this whole time, for nothing?" Joe heard his voice ring out, but he couldn't seem to control himself.

"Wait, what?" Nancy's face was a picture of confusion, but Joe pushed on. The anger, frustration, sorrow, confusion at Nancy's words was too much. The fire that had been heating in Joe since he heard about Nancy's decision was blazing out of control, and Joe couldn't seem to find the will to want to put it out.

"You mean to say that this whole time, this whole darn time you and Frank knew you weren't 'the one' for each other? You really weren't head over heels in love, like you both constantly acted like you were? This whole time, I've been thinking I've lost any chance at you forever, and this has all just been a—an experiment?"

"Joe—Joe stop, what are you saying?" Nancy's voice shook slightly, her eyes wide, and Joe knew he should stop now. What happened to not burdening her with your secret affection? His subconscious snickered at him. Well obviously, our relationship means nothing to her anymore. Joe inwardly retorted. She told everyone, everyone, else everything, and me? Nothing! Hah, burden her? She'll probably brush it off with a 'get over it Joe.'! Joe knew the thoughts weren't precisely accurate, but really, whatever relationship he had with Nancy was already in shreds, considering her decision and her apparent unconcern about consulting Joe about anything these days. And so he continued rashly on, because really, the only consequence would be losing Nancy's friendship, and it appeared that was happening with or without his help.

"I tried Nancy. I really tried to be happy for you and Frank. I mean, I knew you always loved him, and I wanted to have your chance at happiness, honest. But somehow, I couldn't be happy for you. And you wanna know why?"

Nancy was shaking her head now, but Joe plunged ahead. He was far too committed now to stop.

"Because I had finally, finally woken up and realized just how much you meant to me. I finally saw you for who you were. You've always picked me up, helped me out, made me laugh, made me happy. Yet I never knew why, never thought to consider—I never knew it was you, Nancy, only you who could do that. No matter how I felt, no matter what was going on, you always, always could make me happy. Even during our stupid arguments over cases, I was happy. Happy because I was arguing with you, spending time with you, Nan. So, maybe you should go to Europe. Because you see," Joe paused, taking a moment to take a breath after his confession, to calm his emotions, steady his shaking voice. "I can't stand this any more. Can't pretend not to care, can't hide behind this—this façade I've been putting up. I'm sorry to push this on you, but you asked, and now you know." Joe shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat, before looking up to meet Nancy's face. "So there it is, Joe's biggest secret. Probably wished you'd never asked, huh?" Joe laughed bitterly, choking on the words. He had to get out now. Nancy probably hated the sight of him, really, how could she not? Her boyfriend's brother just confessed passionate love for her! Sighing, Joe turned, and walked towards the door.

"Joe—Joe I—" Nancy's voice broke the silence, but Joe continued walking towards the door. Pulling it open with a quick twist of the knob, Joe swiveled back for once last look.

Nancy sat, eyes glazed, stunned, confused. Her mouth was open like she was trying to say something, but wasn't sure what.

Joe took a deep breath. All the anger, frustration, fire, had left him, leaving him spent, weary, and yet filled with an eerie calm.

"Nancy," Joe spoke softly, attempting a half smile that he knew was failing miserably to do it's job, "I wish you every happiness, with whoever and to wherever you have to go to find it. Good-bye Nancy."

With that, Joe quickly stepped out into the hallway, letting the door click shut behind him.

To Be Continued…Soon, I promise! :D