To all my beloved, faithful, reviewers/readers: First of all, I just want to thank all of you all so much for continuing to read and review, despite my bad updating habits. Secondly, I want to apologize for taking so long to update! Things have been rather busy over here, but also, I wasn't quite sure how I wanted to end this story. I'm not quite sure it's been done in a way to meet all of y'alls expectations, but I certainly hope it won't be too disappointing :P It IS a bit of a long part two, I will warn you all! As always, please review and tell me what you think of it! Also, this may be the last chapter. However, I have an epilogue in mind, that would just explain everything that's been going on behind the scenes, so to speak. So if you all want one, please tell me that in your review! Otherwise, I'll just leave it as is. Anyhow, thanks to all of you reviewers! Bluetouchstone, Krissy, lifeinpoetry, saphiretwin369, KennaC, quiet someone, IrishShamrock86, Lady Emily, Jayley, MissMe113, booklover, Cassie, Cassie's Nanny!, poller336, and Silver Scorpion, thank you all for your faithful reviews! I love reading (and re-reading if I'm honest!) all your reviews J Keep 'em coming :D And thanks even to Keri, who, despite thinking I've done wrong by Joe and Frank's characters, read my story and commented. (and thanks to Jayley for your defense of me story :P) Anyhow, on to the story!
Joe Hardy strode down the hotel hallway, back painfully straight, head held high, pace quick, taking clipped, efficient steps down toward the gold-embossed elevator doors ahead of him. It was only until he was clicking down past floor eight that the stiff, upheld form found himself suddenly crumbling, with a sudden choking sensation grabbing at his throat. What had he just done?
Sliding down the elevator walls and rubbing at his eyes, stinging with a mixture of hurt, hopelessness, and frustration, Joe took a deep shuddering breath. He would not break down. Not now, and certainly not here. It was neither the time nor the place. But he had to have time to think.
Blindly, Joe struck out a fist toward the emergency button. Joe distantly recalled that he had waited ages for this moment; the urge to push that red emergency button whenever he was in an elevator had always tempted him, but as Frank had insisted that those buttons were there for a reason, and those reasons did not include mere desires to experiment, Joe had never tried it. Right now, he needed time to think, and the quiet elevator quarters, music drifting softly from speakers above, seemed an ideal place to do it. He had to admit, somewhere deep inside, past all the swirling confusion in his mind, there was a part of him that felt a smug satisfaction in being able to hit that button now. Jabbing down on the red button, Joe held his breath. Quite honestly, he had no idea if the button would really do anything other than get him in more trouble than he was already in, but at least in books, the elevator always halted and the occupants did whatever desperate deeds they needed to in the quiet of the elevator. To his pleasant surprise, the elevator did indeed jolt to a stop.
Hah, who says those late night mystery shows are a waste of time?
Unfortunately, those movies did not include the sudden blaring alarm that sounded from the speakers and seemed to resonate at an incredible volume in the cramped quarters of the elevator.
Jolting to his feet in alarm, Joe quickly punched down the emergency button again. To his relief, the alarm ceased immediately, and the elevator continued calmly down. Joe, however, was not in such a calm state. Great, not even the elevator is cooperating tonight… Joe sighed to himself, as he absently wiped at the perspiration beading his forehead. Shaking his head, Joe blew out a breath in a quick, frustrated puff. He had to admit, this little fiasco had served to take his mind off his troubles momentarily, but they were still there, and he needed to sort through them in a quiet place. Although obviously the elevators aren't keen on providing that tonight, Joe thought wryly to himself. All he really wanted was a place to think, to process what had just occurred. How could he have told her--
Joe shook his head, shelving the thoughts away for later. Later he would take the time to regret the mistake he had just made minutes before. Right now he just needed to get out of this elevator and away from the suddenly stifling hotel atmosphere.
As the elevator hit the lobby floor with a slight jolt, Joe pushed himself from his slouched position against the back of the elevator and walked briskly toward the lobby doors. Ignoring the curious mutters of the lobby occupants and the confused hotel employees who scurried around him, muttering about an elevator alarm going off, Joe wound his way around the lobby couches and chairs, before finally pushing open the big, glass, entrance doors. Taking a deep breath, Joe closed his eyes, briefly allowing himself to appreciate the crisp autumn air around him, cooling his flushed face. Crickets chirped distantly in the background, chorusing over the near-by interstate traffic. The peace was an attractive change from the charged tension in the room he had so recently vacated, but it was not meant to last. Sooner or later, he would have to confront himself and what he had done. And it might as well be sooner than later, Joe mused as he ambled slowly over to his little blue Honda parked near-by. Running a weary hand through his already mused hair, Joe sighed, reluctantly turning his mind to the tangled web he had woven.
Had he really--had he actually just confessed his biggest secret? Could he truly have just told Nancy Drew that he loved her? The thought alone was dismaying enough for Joe to groan, and hit his fist against the hood of his innocent Honda. How could he have been so stupid? Joe questioned himself fiercely, clenching his hands into tight, white fists. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stupid wasn't really strong enough. After all, telling your best friend, who has also very recently broken up with your brother and is planning to go to Europe for a year, that you've been in dumb denial and are actually desperately in love with her is probably not on the top of the list for Dating for Dummies. Here was poor Nancy, simply attempting to pack up for her trip home after an abrupt break-up with one Hardy, only to have another one come and disrupt her life once again. How could he have poured all this out on her? He had been trying to be so careful, and then in one fatal blow, all his control had flown out the window and next thing he knew he was practically throwing himself on the girl!
Joe sighed, rolling his head back, and closing his eyes in frustration and self-irritation. Hadn't he just been thinking earlier that Nancy didn't deserve to have his suppressed feelings suddenly shoved into her face without warning? After all, he had been desperately attempting to hold onto whatever threads remained of his friendship with Nancy, and confessing his love for her wasn't exactly going to strengthen them. Why oh why couldn't you have taken those emotion control classes like Frank did two years ago? Joe groaned to himself. Now, trying to hold onto any friendship with Nancy was going to be hopeless after what he had done. Why couldn't this have been the one time I kept a secret from her?
Because your friendship with her was already a lost cause anyway.
The distant whisper of the thought jolted Joe, and he frowned. That wasn't true! The thoughts that had occurred to him while in Nancy's room were coming back full-force, and to his dismay, Joe found them to seem just as realistic now as they did earlier.
Riiight…which is why Nancy didn't tell you about that Europe offer until after--how did she put it--everyone close to her already knew about it.
Joe gritted his teeth. That had been just because she wasn't sure about the trip yet, that's all, Joe tried to convince himself.
Uh-uh, don't think so. Remember, she confessed that she was planning on heading to Europe when she came here.
Joe frowned, thinking back. But Nancy had made it seem like it wasn't a final decision when she arrived in Bayport.
Oh-ho, you've got it wrong buddy boy. After all, didn't she admit to the plan to leave for Europe right after she told you that her relationship with Frank was just an experiment, which, just fyi, she also didn't bother to warn you about either.
Joe clenched his fists, closing his eyes against the onslaught of his own subconscious, while his thoughts progressed relentlessly on.
So you see, Mr. hot-shot detective, she was planning on leaving you, going off to Europe without so much as a by-your-leave. So really, what was the use of holding back your thoughts and feelings from her? She obviously isn't that concerned about what you think anyway. And--
No! Joe's eyes opened wide and his hand reflexively went to his heart as the thoughts hit him in an emotional re-run of what he had been through in Nancy's room. The pain was almost physical. And as much as he wanted to deny it, his thoughts rang just as true now as they had in Nancy's room. He had wanted to believe that it was simply a loss of control on his part, instigated by the suddenness of the knowledge Nancy revealed she had been withholding from him. He had hoped that his emotions had been too clouded for him to really be able to think realistically through the implications of Nancy's confessions. However, as he now realized with a sick, sinking feeling, he had been right. His relationship with Nancy had been falling apart, way before he had declared his feelings for her. Nancy hadn't cared for him as much as he had thought. Not confessing wouldn't have changed that, Joe had to admit to himself now.
Well, at least I got it all off my chest. Joe thought dully to himself, as he jingled his car keys idly in his pocket.
The full implications of what he had just figured out struck him. He had lost his friendship with Nancy. They were over. Done. And suddenly, try as he might, Joe couldn't swallow around the strange clotting in his throat.
Just like that, it was all over. After almost three years of almost daily calls and frequent visits, Joe was losing Nancy. Had lost Nancy, Joe corrected himself bitterly, as he slumped weakly against the side of his car. The most important friendship in his life was finished, and it had evidently been slowly dissolving for some time.
It wasn't like how it always was in the movies, Joe thought distantly. The end hadn't come about in a shocking finale, instigated by irreconcilable differences, or in a blow-out argument filled with hurt and betrayal. Oh sure, he had just had a minor blow-out with Nancy, and now he was feeling hurt and betrayed, but there had been a chasm between them already. No, Joe shook his head sadly, their relationship had been wafting away into nothingness so slowly that he hadn't even known it was happening until it was too late, and all that was left were wisps of a friendship that couldn't be caught and maintained. It had been a gradual descent, a decline of friendship that Joe hadn't even realized they were headed for.
How had it happened? When had it happened? Joe wondered now, as he swallowed hard, pushing back the emotion clouding, misting his eyes. He hadn't felt the distance before this visit, hadn't realized it until this visit. Had it been slowly building up over time, creeping up on him, unawares? It felt as if someone had been slowly placing bricks between himself and Nancy and suddenly, the bricks had formed a wall, impenetrable and impossible to scale.
Really, Joe thought suddenly, with a sick dawn of realization, it doesn't matter when it happened. All that really matters is that it's over now. And it was true. Although Joe wanted to know the causation behind the situation, it was too late now to do anything about it. He had struck out and lost before he realized he should have been swinging. Even if he did figure out the how, why, when , and where behind this loss of friendship with Nancy, it wouldn't solve anything. It wouldn't bring Nancy back. Wouldn't bring them back together.
The thoughts were like acid, slowly eroding what frail remains of composure Joe had left. Bowing his head under the weight of the emotions and thoughts running rampant through his mind, Joe swiped a hand across his red eyes. The feelings were indescribable. It felt like a friend had died, instead of just a friendship, and he felt the need to mourn for it's death. Three years of friendship; and although yes, there had been bad times, the good times far out-weighed the small bumps in the road of his and Nancy's relationship.
Nancy.. Joe sighed.
Leaning his head back, letting his eyes wander the star-lit sky above, Joe allowed the memories of his newly-lost friendship wash over him. He could still distinctly recall the first time he had met Nancy.
Flashback
Joe and Frank had been called into New York City for a case involving several different thief organizations. Several criminal circles had banded together in the city, an insider had informed the NYCPD. Having no idea what the "Circle" as they had been coded as, was planning, the New York department had sought to find a covert way to discover what exactly was going on. Having dealt with several of the criminal organizations involved, Joe and Frank had been called in. Used to working such cases and going under-cover in similar situations, Joe and Frank were prepared to shoulder the responsibilities of the case on their lonesome, knowing the police department, while definitely important in the final stages of a sting operation, would hamper covert investigation.. Therefore, it was to their infinite shock when the chief of police informed them as they dined together at a pizzeria while being briefed on the case, that another detective would be working with them, . Evidently, this particular detective also had some ties to certain members of The Circle and was someone the chief felt confident would be an asset the Hardy duo. More than a little skeptical, Joe had rolled his eyes as the chief left to escort their new team member into the restaurant.
"Since when did the Hardy's need another detective helping them? Oh well, let's just show him that we don't need his help, and send him packing." Joe whispered quietly to Frank, as he smirked, fully confident that they could politely usher this new addition back to where he had come from before the dinner was over.
"Now where is this dweeb," Joe had muttered, craning his head to spy the NYCPD chief and the new detective. As he turned back to ask Frank if he had any thoughts on the case, Joe suddenly spotted the blue-coated figure walking through the glass restaurant doors. Aha, now where's the other detective? Joe thought with a frown, as he peered around the chief, trying to spot his prey. However, no fellow detective was in sight. Only a family of three, and a young woman, apparently just graduated from college, were following the chief. As the chief rejoined their table, and paused, standing in front of the two detectives, Joe spoke up.
"Heh, guess that other guy was a no-show. Probably too intimidated by our reputation." Joe grinned with a wink Frank, who merely smiled, laughing at Joe's boasts.
"Actually… "The chief began, then stopped and smiled, a small, wry smile, and shifted to the side.
Joe peered around the chief, but only saw the same young lady who had entered with the chief.
"Yes??" Joe responded curiously, cocking an eyebrow.
To his surprise, the young lady suddenly stepped forward. Extending a small, friendly hand, woman opened her mouth to speak.
"Said intimidated detective, at your service."
The words were spoken gravely, but the twinkle in the girl's eyes belied her serious composure.
Despite the sick feeling of having put his foot in his mouth once again, Joe bravely grasped the girl's hand in his and shook it, knowing he looked more than a little shocked. Frank laughed, shaking his head at his brother's mute expression.
"And that, Miss Drew, is my brother, Joe."
"Miss Drew?" The sound of his brother's voice shook Joe out of his dumb silence and he swiveled his head to look accusingly at his traitorous brother.
"You mean you knew who the detective was?"
Frank shrugged, smirking slightly.
"Should have done your research, little bro."
Joe glared at his unsympathetic brother, feeling his face turn beet red.
The sound of a cough caused Joe to face his new acquaintance again.
The girl was nodding her head now, and not bothering to hide the amusement in her eyes.
"Yes, that's right, my name is Nancy Drew. It's a pleasure to meet the Hardy duo. And if you don't mind, I'd like my hand back, Mr. Hardy."
Quickly jerking his hand back and releasing Nancy's hand from his that was still firmly clasping hers, Joe smiled charmingly up at Nancy, hoping to salvage his image.
"Sorry, I just can't resist holding a beautiful girl's hand when I get the chance." Joe paused, smiling meaningfully. "I think I'll looking forward to working with you, Miss Drew."
To his great surprise and chagrin, the girl suddenly grinned, chuckling softly and shaking her head.
"Uh-huh, well I've already done my research on you, Joe Hardy. Now let's work on this case."
Joe couldn't hide his miffed expression and bafflement at Nancy's complete dismissal of his comments. Scowling down at the table, and thoroughly embarrassed, Joe listened half-heartedly to the discussion as the police chief, Frank, and Nancy Drew shared ideas and information on the case. After a couple of minutes however, Joe couldn't resist a glance at the first girl who hadn't fallen for the Joe charm. Reddish-blonde hair, blue eyes, on the short side, and with a curiously determined, yet gentle face. He hadn't been wrong when he said she was pretty, Joe concluded. In fact, she was actually kind of…beautiful. The realization only added to his embarrassment, and Joe shifted uncomfortably in his seat, wishing he hadn't been so hasty in speaking up when the chief had approached. His abrupt movement must have caught the girl detective's eye, for Joe suddenly found himself pinned by blue eyes, peering closely into his own. Barely managing not to flush and jerk his eyes away like some teenager caught staring at his crush, Joe held the girl's gaze steadily with his own, hoping she would see the apology in his eyes. And then suddenly, to Joe's surprise, a smile--a real one, not like the mocking one on that had appeared on her face earlier--spread across Nancy Drew's face.
Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding, Joe grinned back. Forgiveness and understanding was in Nancy's smile, and Joe realized with a happy relief that she was one to give people second chances to redeem themselves. And with a sudden, deep determination, Joe knew he would work as hard as it took to do just that. As Joe at last joined in the conversation, Nancy gave him another encouraging smile that sent happy twists to his gut. Somehow, he felt that despite their rough start, he and this new detective had that rare sense of connection that good friends always will share. Her perfect smile hadn't hurt either.
Oh yeah, we're totally going to need to get her help on this case.
End Flashback
Despite the pain washing against him, Joe smiled at the memory of that first, fateful meeting. His past self had been correct. Although Nancy and Frank had matched each other perfectly as the public had correctly guessed, Joe and Nancy had had that special connection. It had taken them time, Joe recalled, to actually become close, despite that connection, as Joe had been thrown by Nancy's friendly, but clearly friend's-only attitude toward him. Eventually however, Joe had adapted, and they became friends. However, for quite some time, Joe felt that Nancy and Frank would always be closer than he and Nancy were. Somehow, he believed Frank and Nancy would always have a deeper, more profound connection. The thought hadn't bothered him, or at least he had refused to think that it did. But then came the discovery of Nancy's feelings for Frank. The sympathy Joe felt for the star-crossed girl caused him to promptly take her under his arm, and from that point on, their relationship flourished.
Those were the days, Joe recalled with a reluctant smile as he ran a hand through his hair, and reminisced.
Joe had never met anyone quite like Nancy before, and he had done things with her and shared things with her that he never dreamed would be possible with her or anyone else for that matter.
Joe chuckled, remembering the time he had convinced Nancy to take the leap of faith and go bungee-jumping with him from Angel Falls, the tallest waterfall in the world, while on their trip to Venezuela when they were working on their first international case together. (Note: I have no idea if you are actually allowed to do that, so don't quote me :P) Nancy had thrown up a good front of apparent unconcern, and as they leapt off, harnessed closely together, Nancy had kept a white-lipped silence, except for a single, slight gasp. Joe had been impressed, until he discovered that she had gripped his arms so tightly that he had finger shaped bruises across his arms, and had then teased her mercilessly about them for weeks.
Then there was their first trip to Main, on a mission to discover who exactly was sabotaging all the lobster exportation businesses. In his investigation efforts, Joe had gone diving in several of the bays one day, which, as he later admitted, was not the brightest idea to try in the middle of December, and ended up with a raging case of pneumonia. That was during their second year of friendship, and Joe had never been so miserably sick in his life. Hacking constantly, and dazing in and out of confused sleep, Nancy's face was the one constant. For a full week Nancy had been his personal nurse, and by the time Frank had been contacted and arrived in from his undercover position in Boston, Joe was up and on his feet again. But Joe had never forgotten how Nancy had thrown the case aside in a totally uncharacteristic move, not caring what happened to their investigation, as she threw herself into caring for Joe.
Then recently with the Morrison case…Joe shuddered at the memory. Morrison, an owner of a chain of bars in Seattle, had been long suspected of using his bars as a cover for drug dealing and other shady dealings. Finally, the police had been forced to hire Nancy as an under-cover investigator. The Hardy's had been out of that investigation, hadn't even known about it in fact. That was hardly surprising, as Nancy and the Hardy Boys, although working together often, still worked cases by themselves, especially if they were considered relatively simple. However, things had taken a drastic turn as Nancy had disappeared off the radar. Fortunately, the police had been smart enough to immediately contact the Hardy's. Dropping everything, Frank and Joe had gone undercover and searched for the missing girl detective. After three desperate, emotion-wrecked days, the Hardy's had found Nancy, locked in the basement of Morrison's house. Even now, Joe shook with anger at the thought of Morrison's plans for the pretty young woman. Although a veritable army had been surrounding Nancy, Frank and Joe had fought through them all, their concern and rage pouring out in a deadly, unstoppable force. Joe would never forget his relief at throwing open the basement door and rushing through the darkness to find Nancy, tied, but healthy, besides for some scratches and bruises. Nancy had thrown her arms around him, and as Joe had held her close, he could hear her whispering faintly in his ear,
"I knew you'd come. It's always you."
The memories continued to rush through his mind and even now, the thoughts lit up a bit of the darkness in his heart, and Joe smiled faintly. However, reality struck again. So many memories, and all for what? It was over now. Shaking his head, Joe sighed. He needed to repair, and these memories certainly weren't helping. He needed to get home, sort things out. And then, maybe, he could eventually work on getting over Nancy. Or at least, Joe thought grimly, work on pretending to.
Slipping his hands into his pocket, searching with his fingers for his car keys, Joe turned to open his car.. And that's when he heard it.
"Joe!"
Joe stiffened. That voice. It was her.
Don't turn around. Just keep moving.
Finally finding a hold on the illusive keys, Joe gripped them in slightly shaking fingers and shoved them into the slot on his car door.
"Joe, wait! I know you hear me!"
Darn. He had been too slow.
Sighing, Joe slowly turned on his heel to face the girl detective as she came, half-jogging, over to him.
"Uh, hi Nancy." Joe said awkwardly as Nancy finally reached him, slightly out of breath. The sight of her, hair windswept from her rush to reach him, face slightly flushed, and eyes twinkling in the moon-light made him catch his own breath.
"Hi? HI?! That's all you've got to say?"
The incredulous tone of Nancy's voice made Joe wince, and he sighed. No use skirting around the issue evidently.
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. What do you want though?"
Nancy frowned, stepping forward, and Joe could see the swarm of emotions in her eyes as she peered closely at him.
"How about explaining exactly what you meant back there. And tell me, were you really just going to run off without telling me what you were trying to say to me?"
Joe frowned.
"What do you mean, what was I trying to say back there? I should think I had made myself quite clear."
Nancy's face turned from it's look of stern determination to a myriad of emotions too complex for Joe to decipher, then back again so quickly that Joe had to blink.
"I heard what you were saying, but I want to know what's really going on, Joe."
Joe sighed, his former feelings of weariness and hopelessness returning.
"I don't know what you mean. I meant what I said. And I was 'running off' as you put it, because I figured you wouldn't want to see me after what I said."
Shaking her head, Nancy, sighed, unconsciously mirroring Joe's motions.
"Joe, I just want an honest answer. What were you really meaning when you said that--" Nancy paused, and Joe thought she actually gulped. "when you said that you loved me? Just tell me the truth, I won't be mad. I just…I'm trying to understand.."
Running a weary hand through his hair, Joe looked away for a moment, across the parking lot, at the hotel, and finally met Nancy's eyes, struggling with his feelings.
"Nancy, I meant exactly what I said in the room. What's to explain?"
Sighing again, but in frustration this time, Nancy frowned, shaking her head.
"Ok, fine, whatever. Just tell me, you were just trying to keep me from leaving, right?"
Frustration was beginning to tinge Joe just a little as well now. How could Nancy keep denying what he had said? Could she really have misunderstood him?
"No, that's not it. I meant that I, Joe Hardy, am in love with you, Nancy Drew. And not as friends." Joe spoke slowly, deliberately, despite the flush he knew was staining his face a brilliant red.
"Oh come on!"
The vehenament tone of Nancy's voice startled Joe enough that he stepped back. He stared, dumb-founded, as Nancy turned away, and looked up at the sky, obviously attempting to calm down. When she turned back again, Joe could see the anger leaping out of her eyes toward him. Stepping close, and tilting her head to meet his, Nancy's eyes squinted dangerously into his.
"Don't give me that. Do not give me that, Joe Hardy!"
"Don't give you what?" Joe questioned, holding his hands up in defense, as Nancy turned on him.
"Oh like you don't know what I'm talking about!"
"I don't, honest!" Joe protested, stepping forward, trying to understand. "I told you I love you. Now I know that maybe you didn't want to hear that right now, but I had to--"
"That! That right there!" Joe stopped, startled as Nancy pointed an accusing finger at him.
"What?"
"Oh come on, you really expect me to believe that you're in love with me??" Nancy's scoff broke through Joe's confused haze, and he blinked.
"What? Why wouldn't you?"
Snorting in disbelief, Nancy shook her head angrily.
"I cannot believe you're actually asking that!"
Confused, and feeling more than a little like he had stepped into quicksand and was sinking before he realized quite what had happened, Joe frowned.
"What do you mean? Why is it so hard to believe that I'd be in love with you?"
Nancy stared in disbelief at Joe, and then blew out a breath of frustration, her eyes incredulous in the dim light.
"Because it's you. You're Joe Hardy. You're the ladies man."
Joe couldn't help scratching his head.
"Yeah….so?"
"You flirt, you have dozens of girls waiting at your beck and call. You don't do love. And now you're expecting me to believe that all of a sudden you've decided to settle down?"
All Joe could do was shake his head, and step forward, trying to get Nancy to understand.
"But that's just it. Remember what you said all those years ago, when I told you about Iola? I've always wanted a permanent relationship. I've just--never found the right one. And then--"Joe paused meaningfully, looking down into Nancy's eyes.
To his surprise, Nancy's eyes flashed fire again.
"Oh please, you mean to tell me that you've fallen for me? Good ol' Nancy Drew? And what, you've been secretly in love with me all these years?"
Running an impatient hand through his tousled mop, Joe shook his head.
"Look, I get it now. I know that I've never seemed like I've cared for you as anything more than a friend. But now…now I've realized that what I feel for you--it goes way beyond friendship." Joe looked earnestly into Nancy's eyes, even as she shook her head, refusing to accept his words. The crickets chirped loudly in the sudden silence, and the dim, parking-lot lights forced Joe to squint to see Nancy's face clearly. Her face was a mask now, devoid of emotion, her hands calmly resting at her sides.
"Joe, I think I know what's going on. You're just afraid of losing me, and you don't want me to go to Europe. So now, all these feelings have confused you. You're just mistaking love for simple friendship."
Nancy's voice was calm, almost detached. Her argument was perfectly logical, reasonable, and Joe knew that she believed it whole-heartedly. But she was wrong. He had to make her see that she was wrong.
"No Nancy."
Nancy blinked, momentarily shaken out of her composure, as she folded her arms across her chest defensively, the sudden cool breeze, as well as the statement, chilling her.
"What?"
"You're wrong. What I'm feeling--" Joe paused, struggling to find the words "it's always been there, Nancy. I've just never realized it before."
"See?" Nancy sighed, breaking in, her face becoming veiled again. "See, now that I'm leaving the emotions have suddenly been 'discovered'. Joe, don't you see, it's just a momentary feeling. It'll past in time. It's just that this sudden announcment..it's making you feel something that really isn't there."
"Stop, Nancy, stop!" Joe forced Nancy to look fully into his face, as he stepped forward, gripping her shoulders firmly. Nancy's eyes widened in surprise, and she instinctively pulled away from Joe's hands, a frown marring her face. Letting her slip from beneath his hands, Joe shook his head, still holding Nancy's gaze, compelling her to listen with his eyes.
"You don't understand, Nancy. I didn't just 'discover' these feelings tonight."
The statement hung in the air, boldly waving it's implications about for Nancy to see. Nancy's eyes widened in shock, and Joe could hear her quick intake of breath. Then she regained control.
"What?" Nancy's defenses were back up, and even as Joe stepped closer, he could see the doubts building in Nancy's eyes.
"Listen Nancy, I'll admit, I didn't realize I loved you for a long time. I enjoyed your company, and I knew you were the best friend I had ever had, but I never saw how much you meant to me. At least," Joe paused, glancing sheepishly down at the ground, before raising his eyes again to meet Nancy's veiled ones. "At least not until Frank told me he had finally taken my advice and asked you out."
"And this is supposed to persuade me that you're in love with me, and not just afraid of losing me?" Nancy's skepticism was disheartening, to say the least. "Joe, say that you miss me, that you don't want me to leave and fine, I'll accept that. But don't use love as an excuse for you to get me to stay. Until you can talk honestly again, I think you should stay away." Nancy's eyes looked pained for a moment, as she spoke, but then her eyes met Joe's firmly, and Joe could see that she meant it. This was it, she was saying good-bye.
As Nancy turned to leave, shoving her hands into her pockets, hunching forward against the chilly breeze sweeping through the parking lot, Joe gulped. He couldn't let it end here. Couldn't let Nancy leave without explaining everything. She needed to know that his feelings were very real, even if they were obviously unwanted and unreciprocated.
"Nancy, wait!"
Letting out a weary sigh, Nancy turned slowly on her heel, rubbing at her eyes.
"What is it, Joe?"
In three, determined strides, Joe had reached Nancy. He would have his say.
"You don't understand. These feelings are genuine, I swear, Nancy. Nothing could be more serious."
Holding up her hand, Nancy slowly began to shake her head, even as her eyes filled with hurt that she couldn't disguise.
"Joe, I'm tired. I'm about to leave for Europe. Can't you just drop this? Let this---phase, pass? You'll just be embarrassed later when you realize all this has been just a passing fancy." Nancy's pleas were so heart-felt that Joe almost couldn't continue. But he had to. She had to know the truth, even if it meant baring everything.
"I wish I could, Nancy, really. But I can't. You need to know everything. I want you to understand."
Nancy's mouth opened to respond, her hands going up to metaphorically push away from the conversation, but Joe grasped her hands in his before she could speak.
"No, if you're going to Europe, at least let me have my say. Grant me at least that."
Nancy began to shake her head, eyes wide, hands pulling away, but Joe gripped onto her small hands all the tighter, not enough to hurt her, but just so that she couldn't free herself.
"I'm not lying, Nancy! And I know that what I'm feeling is real--more real than anything I've ever known. I'm sorry, ok?" Joe's voice cracked with misery, and he coughed, trying to clear his suddenly tight throat.
"I'm sorry that I didn't realize how much you meant to me sooner. I'm sorry that I never stopped to think and wonder why you knew me better than anyone else. I'm sorry I didn't realize that you were the one person who ever really got me, besides Frank."
Joe paused, taking a deep breath, looking earnestly into Nancy's doubt filled eyes.
"I'll admit, I didn't consider my feelings for you until Frank asked you out. But when he did, something in me--it felt sick. I didn't understand why, or what it was. Didn't want to understand. But whenever I saw you and Frank together, I couldn't stand it. I thought I was just afraid of losing you." Joe paused, seeing Nancy's eyes meeting his knowingly, and shook his head.
"But then, I started remembering all the times we had together. How we shared our secrets with each other. Those non-date dates. Everything. And I started to realize something. I realized why, when I danced with you that night at the town hall, it felt so right to have you beside me. Realized why, when I was with Amy this week, I wished it was someone else. And then I knew that I wasn't just afraid of losing you. I was afraid of someone taking that special place in your heart, one that I hadn't realized I wanted until Frank started to take it.. And I realized that every memory I had with you was one of me falling for you."
Nancy's façade of indifference had crumbled. Her eyes were wide, and Joe was relieved to note that disbelief wasn't staining them anymore. Taking a deep breath, Joe continued.
"So Nancy, you've got to believe me. I tried so hard to pretend I didn't care for you. I didn't accept the truth for a while. But that dance…..the day Frank announced he was taking you. Well--" Joe smiled ruefully, looking at the ground. "I was pushed out of my comfortable state. And I realized that I was in denial. So I'm sorry that I didn't figure this out sooner. But it's the truth."
For the second time that Joe could remember, Nancy was speechless, lips parted in surprise.
"I--I think I believe you."
Nancy's voice was a bit dazed, tinged with awe, eyes, for the first time, accepting.
"Joe, I--"
This time it was Joe who held up his hand, shaking his head.
"It's ok Nancy, I don't expect you to welcome the news. After all" Joe forced out a bitter chuckle, "you've just broken up with one Hardy, the one you really wanted it to work with. And I'm fine with you just pretending I never said anything. And I know you don't feel the same so you won't hurt my feelings--"
"Joe, stop."
Nancy's voice halted Joe in his frantic ramblings, and he paused, looking down at Nancy, embarrassment, confusion, and worry clouding his eyes. What was she thinking? But something--something was wrong. Was Nancy--? Were those tears in her eyes?
"Oh no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry, please, please don't cry. Frank could change his mind, and--and if not you still have Europe."
Joe spouted desperately, trying to quench Nancy's tears. But the girl detective didn't appear to even be listening as tears welled up. Feeling like a complete jerk, Joe squirmed uncomfortably, and finally reached in his pocket, and silently offered Nancy a handkerchief. Nancy looked at it blankly, noting her own initials stitched in the corner from the comfort she had provided so long ago, while Joe hoped desperately he had managed to stop the flow of tears for the moment. Then Nancy took a step forward, ignoring the handkerchief, and Joe closed his eyes, gritting his teeth against the sigh. Obviously, Nancy was too hurt. She didn't want his comfort, probably wished he was gone. She might even--
And suddenly there were arms around his neck, and Nancy's head was on his shoulder. Dazed, confused, not daring to believe that what was happening wasn't just a dream, Joe let his arms close softly around Nancy while her tears leaked through his coat.
Finally, Nancy's head lifted and Joe anxiously searched her wet eyes, trying to understand, wondering what her sudden embrace meant, and hoping she wasn't crying because of him. And then, slowly, oh-so-slowly…she…smiled? This was soon accompanied by a soft laugh.
"Oh Joe, you didn't know?"
Joe could practically feel his face twist with confusion, as he wondered how exactly he had managed to make Nancy fly into his arms and smile, let alone laugh, but willing to accept it, even as he failed to understand it.
"Know what?"
Nancy let out a half-laugh, half-sob, as she held her head upright to face Joe fully.
"Know my true feelings. There never was Frank. There never ever was anybody."
"Never was anybody?"
Joe repeated dumbly, uncomprehending.
Nancy smiled gently, shaking her head.
"No, Mr. hot-shot-detective. There wasn't anyone else."
"Else? But I thought you said--"
Nancy's finger came up to rest against his lips, silencing him as Joe frowned, his head hurting with the confusion of it all. Never had been Frank? Then who--? Nancy's soft laughter broke him out of his contemplative daze, and her eyes danced as she shook her head.
"No one else." Then, leaning forward to rest her forehead against Joe's, eyes sparkling with fresh tears, even as her mouth never wavered in it's smile, Nancy continued in a whisper. "No one else but you."
"---------"
"Joe?"
Nancy's smile deflated a bit as Joe stood, arms still loosely embracing her, eyes wide, face a picture shock, mouth hanging open. Taking a deep breath, Joe stared down into Nancy's searching eyes.
"No one else? No one else?!"
And then--then he was laughing and shouting and Nancy was being swept of her feet and twirled around, as she shrieked and laughed.
The happiness was too much, Joe thought dazedly to himself, as he lifted Nancy up in his arms, feeling her laughter bubble out. Somehow, he managed not to struck out. He had won!
The thought made him grin, as he finally dropped Nancy to the pavement again, and smiled adoringly into her eyes. The moon was bright, the stars shining down on the united couple, alone in the deserted parking lot, and Joe couldn't stop quite believe everything had ended up like a fairy tale after all. Despite their haphazard dance around their feelings, and despite his desperate attempts at denial, they had made it.
Reaching through his car window and clicking on the radio, Joe turned back to face Nancy's soft smile as music wafted from the car speakers. Smiling broadly, Joe extended his hand to the girl of his dreams.
"May I have this dance?"
So there you have it! Hope you enjoyed it :) Hope it wasn't too rushed :P Please review, and tell me what you thought! And remember, if any of y'all want an Epilogue, you must tell me so in your review. Thanks to all those who have been following this story! I've appreciated your faithful reviews :)