Chapter 1: The Mission
"Alright fellas, now I know what you all must be thinking: 'Mr. Hale, why did you send a bunch of people to try and kidnap us instead of just calling us down here ourselves?'" Hale said in a stereotypical sissy voice. "Well, I'm glad you hypothetically asked. You see, when I was a little boy I made it my wholehearted mission to beat the crap out of every single animal that walked the face of this planet, just how God intended it to be. At the age of five, I punched every squirrel that lived in my neighborhood, at the age of fifteen I would sneak into the local zoo and wrestle with the gorillas, and here I am today. After all these years, I, Saxton Hale, have punched, killed, and mounted every animal on the planet." Hale began tearing up as he looked at all of his taxidermies.
The group pf mercs looked on with boredom.
"Well that's...very nice Mr. Hale, but what does that have to do with us." Engie said.
"Ah yes, sorry about that." Hale blushed in embarrassment from babbling on. "The sad truth is, after killing every type of animal, I've found myself...lost. I keep thinking to myself that's there's got to be more animals out there in the universe. Bigger, stronger, nastier. This is where you boys come. Bidwell, open up the curtains!"
Hale's Butler complied and pulled the thread that opened large red curtains, revealing what Hale had in mind. In the courtyard was a large red rocket ship, big enough to fit all nine mercs inside along with any supplies.
"Here's what I want you blokes to do: I want you to bring me an alien that I can beat the crap out of." Mr. Hale said bluntly.
"Dat's it?" Scout asked in confusion.
"Don't be ridiculous, of course that's not all. It has to be the toughest alien you can catch."
"Mr. Hale with all due respect you sound like a lunatic." Spy said, being as straight forward as ever. "Aliens do not exist, and even if they did the chances of us finding them are next to nothing. And why us? Why didn't you ask those people you sent to kidnap us to go do it?
"I'll have you know that's aliens DO exist, crouton! Just ask your rocket-jumping friend over there!"
"It's true, I shot you with that space gun last year, remember?" Soldier stated matter-of-factually.
"And as for the latter questions, those people I hired costs way too much for what I was hiring them for, plus you guys killed. On a completely unrelated note, thank you for killing them, now I don't have to pay them." Hale said.
Spy took a deep breath. Unbeknownst to everyone else, Spy was in debt from a gambling match, he needed that money.
"Very well, I accept this mission." Spy said.
"Going into space and catching aliens for money? Hell yeah, now I don't have to look for actual work!" Scout said.
"I will personally beat the crap out of any alien that threatens the good ol' U.S.A!" Soldier said.
"Heavy will make mother and sisters proud by going into space." Heavy
"Aye, me mother would be proud too." Demo said.
"Well I have always wanted to go into space. Shoot why not!" Engie said, trying to hold back all of his excitement.
"Mmph" Take a wild guess who said that.
"Ooh, I can not vait to seen how many aliens I can dissect!" Medic said with a sadistic look on his face.
"Hehe, a chance to do something my deadbeat dad couldn't? I don't see why not." Sniper said, thinking about his biological dad.
"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's get a move on!"