Hello, readers! This is written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments).
House: Hufflepuff
Subject [Task]: "Duelling [Killing Someone with Kindness]"
Word Count: 1124
Title: "Kindness"
Warnings: Depression and self-harm. Profanity.
A/N: I wrote this while listening to "Teen Idle" by Marina and The Diamonds on loop.
Disclaimer: I did not write Harry Potter. If I did, I would've made Harry and Draco get together. And Lucius and Ginny would be perfectly fine with it.
~Blue Rose
Draco sighed and shook his head, rubbing his eyes wearily. Pansy watched him open his eyes and lower his hands to the keyboard of his laptop, staring intently at the letter D. She knew so many words that started with the letter D: Draco; Dragon; Deranged; Doormat. Depression, she paused before adding that word to the list, wondering if Draco was doing the same.
He licked his lips, momentarily closing his eyes before they flew open, a small fire blooming in the depths of his silvery irises. It was like a ring of molten iron, lining his pupils, Pansy noted. She was sitting beside her best friend, her lips pressed together so she wouldn't blurt out, "Hurry up already!"
He muttered something under his breath that sounded like "Stupid fucking Pansy," which Pansy herself ignored. She didn't want to shake him by saying anything. He had to do this. He had to get help. Her gaze subconsciously travelled to his forearms. She wasn't looking for the faded scars of the Dark Mark. No, it was a different type of scar she sought.
He leaned forward slightly and clicked "male" before the next question popped onto the screen. And the next. He scowled at each and every one of them, his mood darkening with every word that came into view. But he answered them anyways.
Pansy watched his annoyance build and his patience wear down. She sat stock still as Draco angrily clicked the mouse. He gritted his teeth together at the next question.
"How long have you had depression?" he muttered mockingly. He sneered before snapping the lid shut with more force than required. Pansy was used to these outbursts. She knew when Draco was trying to hide some emotion, be it panic or despair, he always hid it behind anger.
She simply watched at the glass in the picture frames on the walls shattered and turned to powder, and Draco screamed his fury. He stood and lashed out at the Floo Powder on the mantel of the fireplace. It burst into flames, small and green and nauseating.
She bit the inside of her lip, desperately wanting him to just go back to the computer and keep taking the quiz so he could at least get some support. She had asked him to months before that moment, and then he called for her to be with him when he finally did it. The day he finally had to face the music, to acknowledge the fact that he was not well. As if the scars of self-harm on his arms weren't enough for him to know already.
"Draco, please," she said softly, stretching out a hand to him. He wasn't screaming anymore, she noted with shock, but he was sobbing. And that somehow scared her even more. He sludged over to her, dragging his feet across the floor, his shoulders hunched and arms wrapped tightly around himself. She stood and met him halfway, pulling his pale body against hers in a tight embrace.
"It's so hard," Draco whispered after a few minutes. His head ached, his hands were tired and protesting when Draco didn't release the grip he had on his own arms. His voice was hoarse and broken, but Pansy didn't seem to notice. At least he stopped crying.
"I know," she replied softly after a short pause.
"I'm supposed to be strong. It's supposed to be easy," he whispered. Pansy closed her and pulled her taller friend closer.
"No one ever said that," she said firmly.
"I did." Draco's voice sounded angry, but Pansy heard the slight quiver behind the words. It was only there if you knew where to look. Pansy stepped back to look him in the eyes. She set her shoulders.
"Don't," Pansy begged. " Stop it, Draco. Stop burying yourself in a hole you know you can't climb out of," she commanded, holding his gaze. He didn't back down from her.
"Pansy, please," Draco said in a voice that was anything but asking. He ordered, and Pansy bristled. Her brows furrowed, but she stared up kindly at Draco. He sighed after a minute before stepping away from her.
"What do you need?" Pansy asked. Last time he had a break-down, Pansy and Blaise spent the day doing favors for him. She knew he hated it, she did a little, too, but they did it, anyways. Draco couldn't seem to get out of bed that last time, and he spent so long sleeping. Draco shook his head.
"I don't deserve it, Pansy," Draco said quietly. Pansy sighed, but didn't say anything. She knew there was more. "I don't deserve your kindness."
"Draco, I am doing this because I love you," Pansy said firmly. Draco wouldn't look at her, so she just continued. "What's so hard to understand about that?"
"I just don't want to be a burden," Draco whispered. He was hugging himself again. He looked like he was about to run away from Pansy, so she stepped closer to him.
"Oh, Draco, you aren't a burden," Pansy said. She reached up and wiped the tears from Draco's face. She felt a pang in her heart; it was hard to tell when the tears stopped and when they started these days.
"I don't deserve you," Draco said. Pansy smiled up at her friend and then pulled his head down so she could brush her lips against his forehead. He staggered towards her a bit and chuckled a little. Pansy always made him laugh.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you, Draco. I don't know what I would do without you," Pansy said honestly.
"You'd have a lot more time on your hands and less wrinkles," Draco said. Pansy scowled playfully and hit him on the arm. He laughed and rubbed the rising bruise on his bicep. Pansy really could throw a punch.
"Come," Pansy said. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the computer. He groaned but followed. She let go of his hand and plopped down in her chair. He sat beside her, rolling his eyes and opening the laptop again.
He sighed before plunging back into the quiz.
Ten minutes later, he was throwing a pillow around the room that Pansy handed him so he didn't break anything. Oops, so much for that. A small vase he'd gotten from Narcissa was knocked off its shelf and it shattered on the floor.
He knelt down beside the glass, accidentally stepping on a large piece of glass.
"Ow," he said, pulling the shard out. He stared at it for a second, his blood crimson and shining in the dim light. He sighed and threw it to the side.
Pansy's kindness was going to be the death of him
.