Maremonogatari - RareStoryOtherStory

by czxcjx123

Nadeko Sengoku, professional Mangaka, was in doubt about herself. Kaiki Deishuu, professional conman, was, without the shadow of a doubt - still himself. Thus, the story of an intersection - from a point in the past, until now. A new mystery to be solved, or, possibly - ultimately - nonsense.

1. Maremonogatari

0.

In every story, there exists an Other story.

Something on the fringes of normalcy. Something quite abnormal. Something alien.

Something rare.

Something that turns familiar things – things that make sense and thus disappear into the background – into something altogether paradoxical.

Something nonsensical.

Behind maximalism, there's a kind of minimalism. Behind mystery, there's absurdity. Behind logic, there's madness. Behind signs, there are un-signalled silences.

And there might just exist stories, that are all the more unhinged, and all the more insane.

Let's hope these stories don't ever reach the light of day.

---

1.

The importance of the sea was lost to Nadeko – who had lived most of her life in the interior, landlocked regions, of Japan. But when Kaiki Deishuu had contacted her to accompany him, as an assistant (much like how every Sherlock needed a Watson – so he said, with some tinge of sarcasm, because he was closer to Moriarty) – this picture of the sea entered into her head.

In our contemporary times, one can see the sea without actually going to the sea. Nadeko had already become a relatively (un)known mangaka with a modest fanbase, and she had already written countless sappy romance stories about lovely meetings by the seaside. Yet, this request came down upon her with some kind of weight.

Yes, I've been to the SEA before… but I haven't really BEEN to the sea.

Although, in her head, both propositions were the same – there was a slightly different weight added to them. I have chosen to capitalize that 'weight' here, but, I wonder if it is sufficient enough to convey the nuance of what Nadeko was feeling at that moment.

The conversation between Nadeko and Kaiki went like this:

Kaiki: "Nadeko Sengoku – I repeat – Nadeko Sengoku, mediocre artist of mediocre love stories, currently fumbling in the popularity charts – making not a single worthy yen – suffering from the constant barrage of phonecalls from parents worried about such a livelihood… this – Nadeko Sengoku – whose existence is currently in the shambles of barely existing – Nadeko Sengoku… do you wish for aid?"

Okay, it did not exactly go like that. Nadeko slammed the phone down immediately after the first few lines, and promptly forgot about it – diagnosing it as some troll from some internet forum somewhere. She was on a break. She had just finished a serialization and was stuck in that artistic void of not knowing what to write about next – and so she felt as though she needed some kind of reprieve from the sad reality of her small Japanese apartment. But, her lack of funds meant that she couldn't head out for anywhere grand – and she was thus limited to the non-holiday of lazing about in non-relaxation.

Then, the doorbell rang.

At first, she was jolted with a sudden fear, thinking that it was her parent(s) – one, or another, or both would have had equal weight in badness (such was the fate of a struggling dreamer as herself) – but then she remembered that they were also on holiday, in France, and she had stubbornly refused to go with them (if I ever go somewhere else, I want the weight to fall on MY BANK ACCOUNT – she had so pressed) and so this person was most likely 100% not any one of her parents.

Nope. It was Kaiki.

Kaiki: "Nadeko Sengoku – I repeat – Nadeko Sengoku, mediocre artist of mediocre love stories…"

SLAM!

A few more knocks caused her eyebrows to twitch with irritation. She opened the door and screamed:

Nadeko: "WHAT?!"

Kaiki: "Nadeko Sengoku – have you been to the sea?"

---

2.

The seatown
Of 海町 (Umimachi)
(Yes, that's the name of the town – so he said).

They were driving towards that town.

Nadeko: "Umimachi?"

Kaiki: "The name bears no pretense. This leads me to hate it with a passion. But, sometimes the truth can be hidden by revealing it directly."

Nadeko: "Can you – ever – talk like a normal human being?"

Kaiki: "Obviously, I deal with, negotiate with, and am involved in abnormalities – and so – obviously – I cannot talk like a normal human being."

Nadeko sighed. Obviously, he was planning out some kind of scam – and, normally, she would have nothing to do with it – but her current artistic dead-end and desperate need for an interesting holiday overpowered her sense of rationality.

Nadeko: "So…What do you want me to do? You haven't told me anything."

Kaiki: "The worst thing a story can have – is to contain too much exposition. Subtlety is the key to the success of a mystery. But, if you are somewhat doubtful about whether you'll be paid, whether I'm paying your travel expenses for you in the first place, and whether I shall be throwing you into anything dangerous – then you do not need to worry. The only thing I cannot guarantee is the last one, although I can say that – with high probability – you will not be walking into any danger. But, because I am dealing with abnormalities – we must always take paradoxical and miniscule probabilities into question."

As always, he was keeping half of the truth hidden in shadows.

Kaiki: "But though too much exposition is bad. Not enough is even worse – and so I shall, in my infinite generosity, outline some facts of our case."

Kaiki opened the briefcase on his lap.

Kaiki: "Have you heard of a Marebito?"

Nadeko: "Isn't that a horror movie?"

Kaiki: "Mainstream representations eschew the richness of certain traditions with needless shock – but, yes, there is such a film."

Nadeko: "You're admitting to being a hipster?"

Kaiki: "I am just being factual. My occupation involves rooting out such traditions – and I have seen cases where – riding on the high of such films and mainstream representations – rituals were carried out inadequately. Lives have been, or can be – lost. Do I have to remind you that you yourself… were involved in such a case?"

Nadeko blushed upon remembering her angsty school days.

Kaiki: "But you were luckier off, and have managed to escape the realm of childishness and have stepped into the realm of real, to the ground, responsibilities. But – reading some of your works serialized – I really wonder how a grown adult could have written such infantile nonsense."

Nadeko: "Rude!"

Kaiki: "All these conflicts born from non-problems, and all these melodramatic conclusions. Paper thin characters with only their cuteness going for them…"

Nadeko: "You're about 5 SECONDS away from getting us all into an automobile accident – if you don't shut your trap."

But, to be honest – he was right. She was filling a market for escapism – but she herself knew that it was unsatisfying. That was what made her so gloomy, back in her apartment.

Kaiki Deishuu
The man involved in so many stories
The man of mystery
The man on the cusp of the supernatural.

Surely, following a man like that would provide some kind of inspiration to her art.

Kaiki: "Nadeko Sengoku – how would you like to help me draw my autobiography?"

She flinched – did he read her mind?

Kaiki: "Another reason why I approached you was that I have always thought that I might be getting too old for this business. The world has remained to me, as always, as paradoxical and nonsensical as ever – and it is getting quite old. I have made my fortune on such nonsense. And I wish to enjoy the fruits of my labour. But… "

Nadeko: "You're really telling me that you're going to reveal to me… all of your secrets?"

Kaiki: "They say that the way to hide yourself is to reveal a great truth – such that all the greater lies are lost in the darkness."

Nadeko: "But – why me?"

Kaiki: "Because your art is so repetitive and tritely beautiful – that there is no way it will be able to capture anything of my substance."

Nadeko dealt the trickster a strong jab in the ribs, which sent him swerving here and there on the road – narrowly missing a few cars and trucks.

Kaiki: "You are a lot less cute when you are violent – Miss Sengoku. But, I have already expected something like that from you."

Nadeko: "Just tell me about the case already and stop yapping!"

Kaiki: "Take out the first piece of paper from my briefcase and read it. It should cover what you need to know."

Nadeko grabbed it. It was an encyclopedia article.

稀人(Marebito) was a word that meant 'Rare Person/Visitor' – outlined by Japanese folklorist Origuchi Shinobu – as a spiritual entity that came to celebrate the building of a new house. There were rituals based around the spirit, detailed through some verses in the Man'yoshu collection of historical poetry – involving a dancer being offered to a sacred visitor. That was only one variant. There were many different types of rituals involving the spirit – ultimately with the aim to bring prosperity from 'another world'.

Kaiki: "That's the background – but the only other thing you need to know is that a ritual, sounding very much like the Marebito ritual, has been spreading around on the internet lately. It is a bastardized and incomplete version, and thus it has no actual power to affect anybody to carry out. But, as always, with abnormal phenomena – there are exceptions."

Nadeko: "Our current case being one such exception?"

Kaiki: "That much can be guessed."

Nadeko: "The case involving the Jagirinawa… that I was involved with – wasn't that also a kind of exception?"

Kaiki: "Which is why I also surmised you as the best partner for the case."

Nadeko: "The way you say that sounds shady."

Kaiki: "The success of that Jagirinawa charm was due to the unfortunate meddling of one Araragi Koyomi and the vampire Kiss-Shot-Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade on the site of the North Shirahebi Shrine, and, of course, your sad attempt to eliminate the curse through a snake-killing ritual. A mass of paradoxes curling into a single abnormality – when – normally, such things would pass without any harm. Because such things always arise from multiple complex variables – it is hard to trace the origins and causes... although a person who was involved with such a case has an affinity with seeking it out – and you are such a person."

Nadeko: "Even if you say that... I just remember that a lot of stuff happened, and I was involved in that stuff – most of the time, as a victim. I don't know many details."

Kaiki: "Still playing victim are you – Miss Sengoku?"

Nadeko said nothing.

Kaiki: "Everybody has different ways to cope with bad memories."

Nadeko continued to say nothing.

Kaiki: "You can only hide yourself, but not hide from yourself."

Nadeko: "I didn't hitch a ride to listen to a self-help talk."

Kaiki: "Yes – everybody has a way of coping with such a thing. Even a man Kaiki Deishuu – whom many people would consider a mystery full of paradoxes – has his own consistent element. He has limits that he cannot surpass, and he has things that only he can do."

Nadeko: "That reminds me of someone."

Kaiki: "A cat might have whispered to you once – I do not know anything else, but only what I know."

Nadeko: "What are you even talking about?"

Kaiki: "Paradoxical things."

Nadeko gave a wry smile. As she had grown older she had found that certain methods that she loved to indulge in were – in the larger world – too childish and weak as weapons to face the tides of real troubles. Yet, because of how much she had indulged in them, she had also never truly let go of that aspect. It floated around somewhere, and it seemed to manifest itself in those stories that she drew – which was probably why people liked them. The current Nadeko was now – less cute, more bitter, less innocent, more direct – overall more moderate and less extreme. Time had weathered her into such a state.

This was what she was. She was not – for example – a straightforward and boisterous person like Araragi Karen – who, as per her vision of justice, had become a journalist and was now outing all sorts of scandals going up against the Yakuza. Neither was she a person who had really come to accept all her faults – like one Sejougahara Hitagi – who was living in some comfortable and content co-dependent relationship in who knows where.

Nadeko was the girl who never grew up, even as she was growing up. Or, to be more exact – she was the girl who grew up but was deluding herself that she didn't – though she was now more self-aware of that delusion.

Kaiki: "I am a proponent of the theory that humans have to be more self-aware – but, sometimes overthinking things is bad."

Nadeko: "How long till we get to the sea?"

Kaiki: "Despite your excitement – you must remember that we are here on a strict professional basis."

Nadeko: "I'm boooored."

Kaiki: "Such is the normal state of things in the world. To be an adult is to accept that."

Nadeko stared out the window. Scenery passed by. The bland old Japanese scenery. From the interior of Kaiki's car, something about it seemed artificial and fake. She believed in creating beautiful worlds – it didn't matter how trite they were. She believed in that kind of adornment,

Then, the sea.
Exploded into sight.
Brighter than all expectations.
Soft waves that seemed like a different universe.
Reaching out from her limited view.

Nadeko: "It's the SEA!"

Kaiki: "The very fact that I have eyes makes that statement redundant."

Nadeko: "But isn't it romantic?"

Kaiki: "Romantic – no. Dyspeptic – yes. Ultimately, the sea is nothing but a massive body of water containing the decay of an innumerable number of species and waste."

Nadeko: "Don't you have any sense of imagination? All you have to do… I drew a story like this once – is to imagine a cute girl standing at the shore, as the waves lap around her feet, both arms extended towards the sky – as though she wanted to hug it. Did I mention that I brought a swimsuit in my luggage? I've always wanted to do such a scene in real life!"

Kaiki: "Miss Sengoku – such a needlessly flowery vision of the world cannot stir the heart of a man who is already reaching his prime."

Nadeko: "Tch – don't be so… real-y."

Kaiki: "If a man who deals with lies does not have a strong sense of reality – he is very easily consumed by his environment."

Nadeko placed one hand on Kaiki's thigh.

Nadeko: "Could an old realist grouch like you have his heart warmed up by the beautiful sight of seeing a cute girl waltzing by the shore?"

Kaiki: "Miss Sengoku – the image of you trying to hit on a man old enough to be your father with a skeletal face like mine must be causing your fans to throw up in disgust (although, I am sure there are also a certain segment of fans…). After all – I know that one of the reasons why your works haven't sunk under in terms of sales is because of the way you market yourself on social media."

Nadeko: "Every business needs marketing!"

Kaiki: "You've commodified your looks on a different level of operation since the time you were a middle-school girl. In fact – it's at such a level of operation that you must be reaping economies of scale from it."

Nadeko: "What's wrong with vlogs and merch?"

Kaiki: "Image prostitution is a different kind of prostitution – but no less unsavoury than real prostitution. Ultimately, both are facades perpetuating false love."

Nadeko: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Kaiki: "You are using the proverb wrongly."

Nadeko: "Fine, fine FINE – I get it! I won't go to the sea until we finish our work – okay?"

Kaiki: "A visit to the sea might not necessarily be excluded from the scope of our work."

In this way, the bitter cutie and the old grouch argued
Enjoying each other's company on the way to the town
Being – no more than what they knew, and no less.

---

3.

Umimachi was a modest town – with one extremely unmodest Japanese-style manor in the centre of it.

That manor was their objective – and they headed there after they had dumped their luggage at the small inn they were staying at.

The manor was surrounded by massive walls. The only way of entry was a large wooden door.

Nadeko: "Would you mind… a little bit of, what was that you said? – Exposition on our current locale?"

Kaiki: "There is no need for unnecessary blather. As you can see, our target, or rather…the possessed – belongs to an extremely rich and extremely prominent family. From there you can conjecture about various deeds – both good and ill – hidden behind such a lineage, as it has always been with matters of money and power. And, from there, you can guess a bit of why I chose the case – what I stand to gain from it. Furthermore, rich people are generally all the same everywhere – with the same vices of excess and related woes. In a way, a mirror image to the extreme poor – they are trapped in their circumstance. Freedom seems to be found in the moderate human."

Nadeko: "So you're telling me to treat them like some kind of generic scandal-filled rich family from some mystery drama?"

Kaiki: "Treat them as humanly as you possibly can."

Nadeko: "That's rich – coming from you."

Kaiki: "The other reason I hired you was to provide that human counterbalance – leave the abnormalities to me."

He knocked on the door. After a while, it opened. It was a butler.

Kaiki: "Greetings. I am Kaiki Deishuu – spiritual mediator… as I believe your master had contacted. I have brought over a specialist in such cases – one Sengoku Minako. She will be the primary medium conducting the ceremony – and I myself… her aide. We wish for entry."

The butler nodded and disappeared back in.

Nadeko: "What. Was. THAT?!"

Kaiki: "Exactly as I said."

Nadeko: "You're asking ME – to be the medium?!"

Kaiki: "Yes. A large family in such a small seaside town – separate from the core of the country – allows for such measures to be taken. News is slower here. Neither is my reputation that well known. And I did not speak an untruth. You are more than adequate in exorcising this paltry spirit from today's target."

Nadeko: "You just said… leave the abnormalities to me!"

Kaiki: "And I have given you a clue as to how to approach this already."

Nadeko was about the reply, but the door opened. Kaiki's face immediately changed into the slightest (the limits of his gaunt mug) smile.

Kaiki: "Mister Kawaguchi – pleased to meet you."

The conman shook hands with a gruff looking Japanese patriarch. He looked at Nadeko – who tried to remain as neutral as possible.

Kawaguchi: "Is this the medium?"

Kaiki: "Yes – she's a bit antisocial, but her skills are enough for the case. We've had a long trip…"

Kawaguchi bellowed a loud laugh:

Kawaguchi: "Of course! Where are my manners?! I was so hopped up on the case that I forgot to treat you as guests! Perhaps you'd like some tea – or a place to relax first…"

Kaiki: "I assure you – that won't be necessarily. In fact, it is good to move swift. Miss Sengoku's powers fluctuate, and they have their waxes and wanes according to the different seasons. Wait too long and we might find ourselves devoid of a channel. I suggest you take her down to your daughter's room – while I need a few servants to help me in setting up some ritual requirements… as conveyed by Miss Sengoku during our trip over here."

Kawaguchi: "Of course! Of course! Johnny here will handle Mister Deishuu's needs. Now – Miss Sengoku – follow me!"

As Kaiki vanished with a bunch of butlers into the hallways and rooms of the manor, Nadeko gave one worried look at him – but he looked back at her with his usual stoic demeanor.

Kawaguchi: "Don't worry Miss Sengoku – I assure you that your aide will receive all the help he needs! I wish for it too! You know – for a medium… you're kinda young."

A certain memory stirred up inside her. The voice of the goddess. A light and slightly playful, but commanding – voice.

Nadeko: "Youth and skill aren't opposed Mister Kawaguchi."

She smiled.

Kawaguchi: "I suppose… so."

He seemed slightly taken aback by the change in demeanour – since she had, seconds ago, the posture of a person enclosed into herself.

Nadeko: "What is your daughter like? A dreamer? A whirlwind? What does she spend her time doing? Painting pictures? Feeding animals? What are her goals? A helper? A maker? A mystic?"

Her eyes sparkled the Medusa's red.

Kawaguchi: "You're rather magical yourself, girlie."

Nadeko: "Magic is only an asking of the right questions."

What am I even SAYING? – she was wondering why she was so good at being a Chuunibyou.

Kawaguchi: "Ah never mind – I give up with you magic types. But if you want to know about my girl – she's always been my gem. I don't think I could find any girl brighter – although some say she has some kinda mean streak. But, to me – that, to a daddy like me of course, tells me more of her energy."

Nadeko: "Can I trust that your servants will take care of Mr Deishuu's… requirements?"

Kawaguchi: "Certainly girlie. They're the cream of the crop."

Nadeko: "Very good – but things that are hidden should not be hidden, so let us see the girl."

That last line was her attempt to do a Kaiki-style saying – but she had the slight feeling that it came off as a middle-school girl trying to sound profound. Yet, although her insides cringed with great pain – she maintained her composure. In a scam or deception – maintaining that was half the battle won. Nonsense could penetrate the skull with the winds of conviction behind it.

The manor was strange in that, although it had a Japanese style 'outer layer' – paper doors and whatnot – the inner areas were western. She was brought to a door with a flowery nametag pasted on it. Arika was written on it.

Nadeko: "What is the age of my… subject?"

Kawaguchi: "Fourteen. Tender and fragile. This whole Marebito business is really breaking her up."

Nadeko: "Fourteen…"

She turned the knob, then turned back to Kawaguchi for a moment.

Nadeko: "Parents not required."

And slammed the door in his face.

She surmised that she was able to take an action like that because he viewed her as an eccentric. Sure enough, he didn't open it.

---

4.

To speak a little bit about how Nadeko was dressed at that point in time – we shall have to make a comparison to the earlier stages of her life. Nadeko – 14 – alternated between hipster and flower girl: either taking on a flowery exterior to match her (and she knew this well) cute cherubim features, or creating a hip-hop clash of sorts (though, Gaen Izuko was way above her level in curating that look) with baggy pants and oversized hats. She slaved over her image.

Professional Adult Nadeko was (off the camera) slightly sloppier – partially due to her lack of funds (from her career choice as a struggling manga artist) and partially due to just not caring as much anymore. Yet, she had managed to score some bits and pieces of fashion from her internet fame – through helping to advertise for indie fashion outlets around Japan in her vlogs. In the end, she was still a cult figure rather than a major personality, and despite having access to such luxuries, her bank account was always on the verge of heading into the red.

Nadeko was currently dressed in ripped jeans, a T-shirt with a flower design logo on it – and, as a bit of ornamentation, she styled a black leather jacket. She kept her hair long and it flowed down behind her. When such a personality – the epitome of street chic – entered the room of Arika Kawaguchi, the (pajamas-wearing) girl was rather shocked.

Then, elated.

Arika: "Sengoku Nadeko?!"

Nadeko: "Yes Arika… that is correct – I am Sengooo…?!"

Arika: "Are. You. Sengoku. Nadeko?!"

The way her name was shouted out like that caught her off guard. But, thankfully, her mind was sharp enough to understand the situation.

In other words – Arika was a fan.

Arika: "Are you really Hebi-sensei?"

Hebi-sensei was the mangaka name that Nadeko used – inspired by those strange events from her youth.

In her fluster, Nadeko came up with:

Nadeko: "N-no… Arika, I am not Sengoku Nadeko – b-but… her twin."

After uttering such a lame excuse, Nadeko wanted to curl up and die.

Arika: "But, isn't that the leather jacket that you wore in…"

Nadeko: "T-this is… erm… I borrowed it."

Arika looked dubious. Nadeko sighed.

Nadeko: "Arika… right? Can you keep a little secret?"

Arika: "Secret?"

Nadeko: "Actually, I'm the spirit medium that's going to deal with your… thing."

Arika: "You're a spirit medium?"

Nadeko: "This is something I do on the side – but if people were to find out that a cool…hip…chic…personality like me was involved in such weird stuff…"

Arika: "But – I think the fact that you're a model/mangaka/spirit medium is pretty cool."

Nadeko mused at the thought that she was now a model/mangaka/spirit medium.

Nadeko: "Not everyone thinks it cool… I mean there are spirit mediums that dress in Hawaiian t-shirts and go around looking like blondie Yakuza thugs. Also, everyone's all into Science these days – so they send death threats to people who talk about things like exorcism."

Arika: "Being a spirit medium sounds scary…"

Nadeko: "Anyway – let's move on to the main topic. What's wrong with you?"

Arika: "I think the mail my dad sent out…"

Nadeko: "Forget that. What's important is that I hear it from you directly. That way, I know your… view, of the whole thing."

Arika: "Okay…"

And so she recounted

---

5.

It was spreading throughout school. A rumour.

Something a bit more complicated than that famous 'Charlie Charlie' ritual spreading in America. It was also special to our town.

There are many caves along the coast, facing out to the sea. These caves are vessels for alien winds. These caves are vessels from the soft energies spilling out from the Pure Land of Amida.

If the correct call is placed in the wind, a strange thing will come from the seas. A rare visitor.

The rare visitor will give you the thing furthest away from you – that you so dearly wish. It will grant you what you thought was rare.

It will place a blessing over your body.

Just, set a candle in the cave, and let it dance to the winds.

And dance – dance with the candle.

Let the wind blow around you, and let your body flicker like the candle's flame.

Dance in such a way – to catch the attention of the strange visitor.

Be wary – dance too weakly and the visitor will be displeased. Dance too strongly and the visitor will be charmed – and will spirit you away as a lover. Dance correctly, and you will honor the visitor.

If anything goes wrong – you will be spirited away to the Tokoyo no Kuni (常世の国).

You will start to have strange dreams of a distant land.

You will start to see the stranger in your room, watching over you. One corner of the room.

Every night, it will get closer and closer.

Eventually, the stranger will be by your bed.

Eventually, your body will vanish like a candle in the wind.

On the strange winds of the Tokoyo no Kuni.

---

6.

Arika: "We carried it out. I told my friends that I'd do it. We went to one of the caves on the coast in the night, and we lit a candle. I remember it was a night with a full moon."

Arika: "Following the instructions that were being spread – I danced in the winds. I felt the winds all around me, and I was scared, but I danced."

Arika: "My friends were laughing around me as I danced. Although they were treating it like a joke, something inside me was taking it seriously. I felt as though I couldn't stop."

Arika: "I whirled faster and faster. I felt the winds around me."

Arika: "Then."

Arika: "The candle went out."

Arika: "All of us looked out to the sea, and we saw a figure – a shadow – rising from the water. Dripping from head to toe."

Arika: "It was the rare visitor. We ran. We didn't even look back. All of us saw it."

Arika: "That night, when I went to sleep – I suddenly felt paralyzed. I was sleeping, but I was awake as well. But, I felt something at the corner of the room. Something dark and alien."

Nadeko: "Sleep Paralysis?"

Arika: "Huh?"

Nadeko: "Isn't that normal Sleep Paralysis… like there are…"

Arika: "NO! It's not like that! That's what I thought too! But when I woke up, there was a dark stain on the floor!"

Nadeko looked to where Arika was pointing. At one corner of the pretty and flowery girl's room, there was a dark stain. A crack in the environment.

Arika: "Our roof wasn't leaking – and we hardly have any pests here. Daddy called the police, and they examined the dark stain. They found bits and pieces of charcoal, and sand from the beach."

Arika: "From that night onwards, Johnny and the other butlers have been standing outside my door. They've tried cleaning it away – but the dark stain always returns when I wake up. The same thing… has been happening night after night. The rare visitor, the Marebito, stands there, but I can feel its neck growing."

Arika: "The dark shadow stays in the same spot, but its neck will grow and get closer and closer."

Arika: "One day, I'll be able to see it's face… and then…"

At this point in her story, Arika clutched her mouth. She looked like she was about to hurl, so Nadeko grabbed a bucket that was (conveniently) nearby. But Arika pushed it away.

Arika: "I'm okay."

Nadeko: "You don't look okay."

Arika said nothing. She just stared at her hands.

Nadeko: "Okay… Arika, I have another question."

Arika: "Huh?"

Nadeko: "Have you done anything in life that you regret?"

Nadeko did not have a clear vision as to why she asked that question – but she felt that it was important.

The root of most abnormalities was, after all, the self.

Arika: "Why are you asking me that?"

And, as though being pulled on some kind of string – she replied in an overtly defensive manner.

Nadeko: "Do you want to be saved?"

Sensing that defense, Nadeko pushed. Arika looked conflicted.

Nadeko: "Do you want to be saved from the winds of the Tokoyo no Kuni?!"

Okay, now she was just overdoing it. She immediately wanted to slam her face into the bucket.

But, Arika opened:

Arika: "I… haven't exactly been the best… person."

Nadeko: "Not the best?"

Arika: "I don't think I appear as who I want to be."

Nadeko: "I'm sorry, but I'm not a psychoanalyst. Can you be clearer?"

Arika: "I've… bullied people."

Nadeko: "Uh-huh?"

Arika: "I've stepped on people."

Nadeko: "Ok-aay?"

Arika: "I've…"

Nadeko: "…had to do all that because having loads of cash means that many people respect me as high on the social ladder? And so, I have to maintain my image by doing that thing that people with power do – stomp on the riffraff?"

Arika: "Er… kinda?"

Nadeko: "And if I don't go with the flow with the rest of the girls… don't – become their 'leader', then I'll lose my social status and the tables might be turned on me because I'm an easy target for their jealousy?"

Arika: "…"

Nadeko: "So I had to play the cute beautiful rich girl at home. The sinister and sadistic bully girl in school. Making sure that both masks don't intersect at all?"

Arika: "…"

Nadeko: "Ah – so this is what Kaiki said when he meant that I should treat all rich people like their stereotypes."

Arika: "I'm not – !"

Nadeko: "Have you even LOOKED at your reality for a single moment? Caring about these small THINGS like social status, wasting your precious TIME as an adolescent – not knowing how FRUITLESS it's all going to become? Don't you have ANYTHING better to do in life?!"

Arika: "Why are you shouting at me?!"

Nadeko: "A 'Marebito'? An 'alien outsider' – a 'rare visitor' that came from another domain?! No such thing. All of these are YOUR demons to bear. They're YOUR burdens. Yet the whole lot of you will fall into the bloody dance of bloody imbeciles that love to play games with emotions like Kaiki Deishuu simply BECAUSE you keep trying to place all these things on an outsider – alien, gods, beings, abnormalities, secret unicorns – the whole BLOODY LOT."

Arika: "Haaah?! Are you in-san – "

Arika's mask completely shattered. It was on the floor in bloody pieces.

Arika: "You THINK I want to do THIS to MYSELF?"

In a way, it was kind of like middle school Nadeko having a screaming debate with adult down on her luck mangaka Nadeko.

Nadeko: "NO – of course you DON'T, and that's the whole damn PROBLEM! You aren't doing ANYTHING with YOURSELF! You're DEAD. You've got NO RESPONSIBILITIES on your BACK. You have NO IDEA what it's like trying to LIVE FOR YOURSELF. You miserable, LITTLE – "

Suddenly, Nadeko's world was sunk into the total darkness… of the bucket that Arika had slammed onto her head. The difference between Arika and Middle-School Nadeko was that Middle School Nadeko was caught up in a passive neutrality that ate at her core being – but Arika was wrapped up in violent bullying & delinquency. In other words, she was tough and ruthless.

Nadeko was surprised at how powerful Arika's kick was – although, she herself had managed to kick down a door in middle-school, but Arika had managed to kick Nadeko into the door, and had also managed to send that door flying off its hinges from the impact. Arika was several stormy levels above middle-school Nadeko.

Arika: "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!"

As she screamed that, she wrapped herself into her own blanket and turned into a little ball on her bed – shutting out the world.

Papa Kawaguchi came running over.

Kawaguchi: "Is anything wrong?! What happened?!"

Nadeko, prone on the floor (on top of the door), bucket on her head, raised a single hand. Her soft voice came from inside the bucket.

Nadeko: "Don't worry… it's all part of the ritual."

And, she promptly passed out.

---

7.

Back at the inn, Nadeko took a hot shower.

Nadeko: "What a day… I wanna go to the sea."

The entire day was reviving a whole host of bad memories.

She had a feeling that Kaiki had solicited her help for exactly this reason. He had a feeling about the affinities between her case back then, and the current case – although, the abnormalities were different.

Nadeko turned off the shower and brushed her hair. She looked into the mirror. A rather beautiful girl smiled back.

Nadeko: "I'm a cute online model mangaka – and my bank account is still so dry. What is the world coming to?"

Perhaps – she needed to give more fanservice?

Women's rights groups would burn her at the stake for that!

Nadeko: "Tough luck for progressives. In the end, I still need to eat."

But, she always had a lifeline – back at home.

The home that had cradled her passivity for so long.

The main reason she did not want any of that – any help from her parents – was because she was determined to cut it all away, all of the lesser flabby aspects of her character.

So, she jumped straight into the pit.

The first years were tough. She had to take a lot of jobs on the side. She was a freeter.

Convenience stores. Giving out pamphlets. Small, miserable work. Going home. Seeing the manuscript. A small hope. Fighting fighting fighting.

Will to live. Will to change. Will to power. Sengoku Nadeko. Nadeko Sengoku.

Perhaps, she would have lived an easier life had she just decided to be an OL?

Wasting her life on that choice. Spending so many miserable lonely hours because of that choice.

Eventually, she staked out a spot for herself.

Slowly and surely. Painfully and progressively. A spot.

A run. Small circle of friends. Assistants. A steady stream of income. Fighting the clock.

In the meantime, she also killed many of her creative ambitions. She aimed for smaller, shallow, stories. Things that people could escape into. Fly into. Beautiful worlds. That was what her art-style was synced to anyway. Despite knowing a little bit more about the world, she went for the surface.

So Kaiki was kind of wrong in that regard.

She wasn't childish. She had turned pragmatic. Childhood sells.

Nadeko: "I want to be rich! I want to do whatever I want!"

Which was why she was pissed off – at Arika.

Rich people who had it all – and squandered it.

Poor people who fought.

But – was she really poor? Wasn't she just playing a victim? After all – she still had a lifeline.

Which was why…

Her mind was in chaos.

Dressing up in a grey yukata, she stepped out of the bathroom.

Nadeko: "You picked a shitty time to take me on your stupid scam Kaiki."

She lay on the floor. She stared at the ceiling.

Nadeko: "Would it have been better if I just – stayed lazy? If I… was that slug, that remained in the corner?"

Finding a job where no one noticed you that much. Eventually, finding a husband that would take care of you. The Japanese Yamato Nadeshiko.

But no. She was Sengoku Nadeko.

A warring state. Yamato sent into disarray.

Destroy it all. Conquer it all. Rule it all. My life to live.

She raised her palm into the air, and clenched it.

And, at that moment, a knock.

For a moment, Nadeko thought that she had psychic powers, and somehow, she had caused the knock. But, that was a stupid thing to assume. It was probably Kaiki. They were staying in different rooms.

Another knock.

She opened the door.

Hawaiian shirt. Sunglasses.

Kaiki: "Miss Sengoku. I hired you to do a very simple job – and yet, shortly after, I receive news that you were knocked out by a little girl. I am very disappointed."

Nadeko tried slamming the door in his face, but he stuck a foot through the gap.

Kaiki: "What did you find out?"

Nadeko: "About?"

Kaiki: "There are many mysteries in the world – but I do not think you are that confused."

Nadeko: "That's not a Marebito is it?"

Kaiki: "The situation is more complicated than that. If you wish to hear about it, kindly stop crushing my foot with the door."

Kaiki came into the room. Both of them sat on the floor.

Kaiki: "Tell me your doubts."

Nadeko: "From what scant information you gave me, the Marebito was supposed to be a spirit blessing a house, not a spirit coming from the sea."

Kaiki: "You are correct, and you are also wrong."

Nadeko: "What do you mean?"

Kaiki: "The problem with folklore, and abnormalities, is that we do not have classifications in the same sense that science or mathematics does. There are no fixed categories. There is constant evolution – spreading into different lanes, and new stories are always springing out from the dirt. You talked about the horror movie Marebito – and that, too, is a manifestation that is no less true than the myth – because that interpretation has now entered into the human consciousness."

Nadeko: "So, this is a Marebito?"

Kaiki: "As the legend spread from the inland to the outer regions – a new variation of the myth appeared. The definition also expanded to fit a variety of 'rare visitors' – so the 'rare visitor' of a house or building was opened up into the definition – a 'rare visitor' into the world. Such a place – outside of human boundaries…"

Nadeko: "The Tokoyo no Kuni."

Kaiki: "Yes, or the Pure Land of Amida, depending on the interpretation."

Nadeko: "If I remember – Arika mentioned both – so are they the same?"

Kaiki: "Rumors are always mixes of past, and new interpretations. Some might read it as a mistake – but, it is very important to take note of mistakes, because small differences can change the nature of the threat altogether."

Nadeko: "But, why does it matter at all?"

Kaiki: "When we say the word 'Marebito' – we are actually referring to something a lot more ambiguous. Like a doctor saying the word 'disease'. But a doctor cannot cure 'disease' in general – he must focus on a specific manifestation of a disease."

Nadeko: "In other words, to help Arika – we have to find the specific form of the Marebito that she sees…"

Kaiki: "The abnormality is a mixture of self and world. You could say – it exists on the 'threshold' of that. Specialists and spirit mediums will handle the side of the 'world' – but the side of the 'self' must be dealt with by the subject herself. Although, in truth, it is not a clean divide because human relations are so intermingled – and so we do have some influence on the other side."

Nadeko: "So, I have to list out the things that we do actually… know, about Arika's thing."

Kaiki: "Every detail is important."

Nadeko listed it out: the sea, the dance, the shadow, sleep paralysis, the charcoal and sand stain, the growing neck, the corner of the room.

Nadeko: "After looking through the article again – I missed something out. The original Marebito only existed as a voice, and not a figure – but Arika said she saw a shadow. Although, so far, she has said that she's never actually seen it properly. When she sees the face, she'll be taken away. So, does that allow it to align with the past interpretation?"

Kaiki: "Yes, but the deviation is important."

Nadeko: "This is a rare visitor that wants to be seen?"

Kaiki: "Every concealment hides an unconcealment. Every unconcealment hides a concealment."

Nadeko: "You're driving me nuts over here!"

Kaiki: "When you look at these things in separation – you have to find the deeper thread connecting them. Everything is a symbol for something else. Something all the dearer, and all the nearer, to the lies of the human heart."

Nadeko: "In other words…"

Kaiki: "You need more information."

Nadeko slumped onto the floor.

Nadeko: "Can I just go to the beach already?!"

Kaiki: "For the sake of investigation – I allow it."

Nadeko: "I don't need your permission! I'm a grown woman!"

Kaiki: "Your stories indicate otherwise."

Nadeko: "You know what – you've put me at risk by forcing me to play spirit medium. As a result of that – I was attacked and my precious body and face was harmed. I demand compensation."

Kaiki: "You value yourself too highly."

Nadeko: "I demand compensation!"

Kaiki: "What kind?"

Nadeko: "After all this is over, I'm going to make a video over here – and I'm going to get you to be the cameraman. You're going to be my cameraman for the whole day – while I enjoy myself on the beach."

Kaiki: "The image of you in a swimsuit being filmed by a gaunt and scary man like me dressed up in a Hawaiian shirt with sunglasses – will cause your dearly beloved fanbase to vomit."

Nadeko: "You won't be in the video, so it's okay."

Kaiki: "Very well. I accept."

Nadeko: "That was… easy."

Kaiki: "Did you think I was a scheming, evil, and untrustworthy creature?"

Nadeko: "Yes."

Kaiki: "I am heartbroken."

Nadeko "Deal with it."

Kaiki: "But you have to keep your end of the bargain."

Nadeko: "Fine. I will."

Kaiki: "Very well – then I shall continue with preparations."

He stood up.

Nadeko: "Wait a moment… actually I was wondering – what were you up to? I still have no idea what kind of ritual you're going to pull."

Kaiki: "Do not worry about such insignificant things. Focus on your job. Such is the quality of a good professional."

He opened the door. Then looked back at her.

Kaiki: "But, your job just got a little easier."

Nadeko, lying on the floor, waved at Kaiki, not processing what he said properly. She closed her eyes.

Soon, she felt the weight of someone sitting on her chest.

Nadeko: "What in the…"

There, was the little mischievous smile of a particularly rich, particularly brutal, particularly sadistic girl – carrying a boxcutter.

---

8.

Arika: "I wonder what will happen if I – cut – your – clothes – off."

Nadeko: "What – are – you – doing."

Arika: "I was bored. So, I came to play."

Nadeko: "Aren't you sick?"

Arika: "I was FORCED to stay in there!"

Nadeko: "Monster parents?"

Arika: "You probably think of me as some kind of snotty rich girl doing all this because I have parents who don't understand me – and I have to find some way to 'release' myself."

Nadeko: "What a great guess."

Arika: "I am exactly – to the key – like that. I am a stereotypical rich girl – no deviation – no variation – exactly to the key."

Nadeko: "Glad you've noticed."

Arika: "But, I enjoy my position. In fact, I even enjoy being mad at my parents – it gives me a convenient psychological excuse. I'm glad that I can be queen of the class. I'm glad that I can stomp on people. I hate weakness – being weak – being small – being passive."

Nadeko: "We have so much in common."

Arika: "I love my life. I am perfectly okay with my life."

Nadeko: "By the way – you aren't the first person I know who likes to threaten people with a boxcutter."

Arika: "Really?"

Nadeko: "I know someone else – who I happen to hate, a lot – that likes to attack people with stationery."

Nadeko pushed her hand out of the lock that she was in, and grabbed Arika's hand.

Nadeko: "There was a time when I was really really mad at the world – and I began to imagine different ways of confronting said person, attacking her, and overthrowing her as main heroine. Because I was bored, I decided to study disarming methods."

She twisted Arika's hand. The boxcutter fell to the floor, she grabbed it, and pointed it at her.

Nadeko: "Now, get off."

Arika: "Fine, fine. You win. By the way – what did you mean by 'main heroine'?"

Nadeko: "That's a reference that I'll never explain to a person like you."

Arika sat on the floor. They stared at each other.

Arika: "But, this stupid supernatural thing is so annoying. I want to get rid of it as fast as I can. Which is why I'll do whatever you say – even though I don't like you."

Nadeko: "I'm only here to get paid – and to enjoy the sea. That's the only reason why I'm helping you in the first place."

Arika: "So – what do you want to know?"

Nadeko: "Do you regret anything?"

Arika: "Nope."

Nadeko: "Do you have anything that you find wrong with the world?"

Arika: "Parents, teachers, friends – everything except me."

Nadeko: "Have you done anything so bad that you want to take it back? That you want to do it over again?"

Arika: "None."

Nadeko: "Do you have any dark emotional secrets?"

Arika: "Dark secrets… hmmm… oh, maybe one."

Nadeko: "One?"

Arika: "Just one. I'm a lesbian."

Nadeko: "TOO BLUNT FOR A GUY, BUT NOT FOR A GIRL?!"

Arika: "Huh?"

Nadeko: "Just – another reference that I don't want to explain."

Arika: "It's not a joke."

Nadeko: "So, when you came at me with a boxcutter – that wasn't a threat?"

Arika: "That's because you're reaaaaallllly cute."

Nadeko: "This – ISN'T THAT KIND OF FANFICTION!"

Arika: "What are you shouting about?"

Nadeko: "Nothing in particular."

Arika: "I haven't told anyone – but I'm not repressed over it or anything."

Nadeko: "No secret desires bursting out into evil dark raincoat-clad serial killers?"

Arika: "No – not at all."

Nadeko: "O..kaay. How about – one more time, any dark secrets that you haven't told anyone?"

Arika: "Oh, there's another."

Nadeko: "Reaaaalllly nooooow."

Arika: "Yea, it's totally dark and totally serious."

Nadeko: "Hit me."

Arika: "I drove a girl to suicide."

Nadeko: "IS THIS AUTHOR REALLY GOING THERE?! DOES HE THINK MAKING SUCH AN EDGY DARK FIC IS INTERESTING?"

Arika: "But – I don't think it's interesting. It happens all around the world, doesn't it? You push someone too far, torture them too much, and the just break down."

Nadeko: "You are seriously sounding like a cold-hearted – "

Arika: "I felt guilty about it – but do you think my life would crumble because of that? I have to move on, don't I?"

Nadeko: "So, what happened?"

Arika: "I was lucky that she didn't do anything like write a letter outing all of us. I don't know why – don't people usually do that for revenge? Maybe she was really too broken to do that. But, it was a good thing for us."

Nadeko: "Uh-huh."

Arika: "But, none of that happened at the beach – so this can't be her ghost haunting me or anything – can it? Also, it happened quite some time ago, so it doesn't make sense for a ghost to only start haunting me now."

Nadeko: "You are really being all calm and serial killer-ish about this."

Arika: "I was surprised at it myself. I've cried about things before. I cried when my dog died. I cried when my grandfather died. But, other than the anxiety that I'd be caught, and some slight guilt – I felt nothing."

Nadeko: "Maybe a dark guilt's been eating inside you all along…"

Arika: "Don't be silly. That only happens in stories."

Nadeko: "Right…"

Arika: "I won't even bother giving you the details of how it happened. It all just happened so normally. All these stories are the same, everywhere."

Nadeko: "So, to sum things up – you are rich, lesbian, unrepentant, evil, and a downright scummy human being."

Arika: "That sums it up."

Nadeko changed her mind. This was NOTHING like her past self.

Nadeko: "That's all I need – get the hell out of my room."

---

9.

Umimachi was famous for its seafood ramen. Ordering their respective bowls, Nadeko and Kaiki sat one corner of the shop to discuss matters.

Nadeko: "And, that sums up my interaction with Arika Kawaguchi."

Kaiki: "For a person who said that she 'couldn't do it' – you've done quite a lot."

Nadeko: "I'm the best, aren't I?"

Kaiki: "Still stuck in your delusions of grandeur? You were ousted from the popularity chart by a certain blonde vampire."

Nadeko: "I blame pedophiles everywhere."

Kaiki: "Your initial popularity was also because you were a cute middle school girl – with no character."

Nadeko ignored him, and continued.

Nadeko: "You keep in touch with Kanbaru right? Can I ask her some things?"

Kaiki: "You've heard the story then?"

Nadeko: "It's all stories from the past. Memories from the past. Eventually, it was passed down to me."

Kaiki: "There is a lot of differences between this case, and that one."

Nadeko: "Any lead is still a lead."

Kaiki: "Okay, I shall give you her number. But I do not remember you interacting with her at all – and I've watched all seasons."

Nadeko: "Once or twice, through Karen. But I never got her number (the first time I met her, I almost got assaulted). All I know is that she's a lesbian."

Kaiki: "For you to categorize someone by their sexuality and not their internal qualities – what a horrible person."

Nadeko: "That's because her personality is 50% sex jokes."

Kaiki: "And for you to miss the other 50% - makes you a horrible person."

Nadeko: "Just give me the number already."

Kaiki took out a notebook from his pocket, and ripped out a sheet of paper from it. He wrote the number down on it.

Nadeko: "I also need you to help research this suicide case of hers."

Kaiki pointed to the sheet of paper.

Kaiki: "Here's her name. Find out about it yourself."

Nadeko looked down, under the number that Kaiki wrote, was also the name of the suicide case – Maria Ozaki.

Nadeko: "You knew everything about Arika – before you even asked me… didn't you?"

Kaiki: "You provided some new information. I found out the rest myself."

Nadeko: "You – are – just – horrible."

Kaiki: "And I am also your boss for this trip."

Nadeko, in a state of anger, slurped the entirety of her ramen down in one gulp, and walked out of the store.

She took out her phone, and dialled the number.

After a few rings, it got through.

A salacious voice entered into her ear.

Kanbaru: "Haaa-naaaa?"

Nadeko: "Kanbaru… Suruga?"

Kanbaru: "Yoooouuuu'reee lateeee… I'm already wait-ing with the hot wax and the ho-ney…"

Nadeko: "This… is Sengoku Nadeko."

Kanbaru: "They're sending me Nadeko instead?! I didn't even know she was on the list! Is her manga career going that badly?!"

Nadeko: "Yes – in fact… wait – NO! I got this number from Kaiki!"

Kanbaru: "You're not gonna be my little pussycat for the night? Awwww…"

Nadeko: "Who pays for these dubs? They're making you sound like some kind of sugar daddy."

Kanbaru: "But I don't sound like Araragi!"

Nadeko: "Forget about that! I'm here to ask you some questions!"

Kanbaru: "You're here to quest me some actions?! Is this an RPG roleplay?"

Nadeko: "NisioIsin-sensei's penchant for puns is ridiculous!"

Kanbaru: "You want to enchant my gums? We're skipping five steps already?!"

Nadeko: "After so many years – you'd think that someone would become just sliiightly more mature already!"

Kanbaru: "Slightly more manure?! Even my fetishes have limits!"

Nadeko wanted to slam her head into a telephone pole.

Kanbaru: "Okay I'm sorry! I was doing that on purpose!"

Nadeko: "As if you can do – that – by accident."

Kanbaru: "There are a lot of things I can do by accident! I can even go without panties by accident! There was once when I was stalking this cute girl at my workplace back home – and I accidentally left my panties at her doorstep! I'm such a klutz aren't I!"

Nadeko: "I think the extent of your psychopathy makes you just – perfect – for this situation."

Kanbaru: "So, what's the situation? You need inspiration? I have loads of manga to lend you. I can even lend you Red Book volume 256 – 280! That's the best arc yet!"

Nadeko: "I am NOT into that genre. But I might be asking something… weird."

Kanbaru: "Do you like to lick your toes?"

Nadeko: "Sometimes – wait. I mean – WHAT?!"

Kanbaru: "Freudian slip – Hebi-sensei. But, since I asked you something weird – you can ask me something weird. Anyway, I'm drunk enough to answer you with 100% honesty!"

Exactly when she said that, Kanbaru exploded into a massive series of drunk giggles.

Kanbaru: "Bombs away!"

Nadeko: "Do you remember your first love?"

Kanbaru: "Senjougahara – why?"

Nadeko: "I mean – your first… lez-crush? Like the fiiirst one. The very fiiirst one."

Kanbaru: "Who remembers that kind of thing? Could be some idol magazine, or some girl in my class – but Senjougahara Hitagi was the first time that such a desire turned into something conscious, and strong. The – 'I want to protect her' feeling. The – 'I want to spend my life with her' feeling. And also the 'I want to f- "

Nadeko: "Too. Much. Information."

Kanbaru: "Do you remember your first love? What we call our first love is, probably, usually not our first love. The very moment we come into the world – we've probably been aiming our longing at others, in a very fragmented, and insecure way. Probably like – a field of love? An aura of love?"

Nadeko: "Is the alcohol making you too abstract?"

Kanbaru: "You want to marry me to attract…? Araragi? I thought you got over him!"

Nadeko: "I. Will. Shatter. You. Into. A. Million. Parts."

Kanbaru: "Just kidding – but I don't think we would be able to know our love, before love became a concept in our heads. I think some weird psychologist came up with something like that? That, actually, all our later loves are just incomplete replacements for that first object of desire. That first dream. Growing up is cutting ourselves away from that thing that enchanted us the very first time – or, perhaps, we cut ourselves away so we can better reach it."

Nadeko: "Have you been talking to Kaiki too much? You sound like you're on drugs."

Kanbaru: "Bu-ut, to answer your question. I do not remember the object of my first love before love."

Nadeko: "THANK you – that was easy enough…"

Kanbaru: "You want me to enter you rough? You should have said that the first time we… hello? I heard a loud noise. Nadeko – are you okay?"

Clutching her throbbing head, Nadeko replied.

Nadeko: "I. Am. Fine."

Kanbaru: "By the way – are you really okay?"

Nadeko: "Huh?"

Kanbaru: "Karen was worried about you. You seemed to be in a tough spot."

Nadeko: "Karen?"

Kanbaru: "Araragi Karen – the intrepid justice-bringing journalist."

Nadeko: "I know who Karen is! But she was worried about me?"

Kanbaru: "She said that you've been stressed about your art lately. That you felt like you were repeating yourself."

Nadeko: "No, I got over that already… I'm okay."

As she said that, she felt a throb in her heart.

Kanbaru: "Okay then… oh – the doorbell rang! Ha-naaaa! I'm gonna spank you with my furry hand!"

The call cut off.

Nadeko sighed.

The restaurant was facing out into the sea. The stars were bright in the night sky. She felt the wind pull her hairs into space. The sea was an endless black before her. There were ships in the distance.

The sea was the furthest away from her centre.
The furthest away from her home.
The thing at the corner of her mind.

It was the thing just beyond the horizon.

The thing that enchanted us before all other things.
The thing that pulled us to it, but we couldn't see.
Everything that was present, hid a deeper concealment.

Life was inexhaustible.
Thus, it exhausted.
Thus, it endeavoured.
Thus, it expanded.
Thus, she had to go beyond herself.
Thus, she had to go beyond the horizon.

A voice came out from behind her.

Kaiki: "I didn't pay you to laze around."

Nadeko: "I can't do any investigating now."

Kaiki: "Night is the perfect time for investigating. Any spy knows that."

Nadeko: "I've been investigating a lot of things."

The wind was cool.

Nadeko: "Hey – a long time ago, when you said that, to humans, nothing was irreplaceable, and things were substitutable – did you really expect me to live like that?"

Kaiki: "That was just silly self-help to fool a silly girl."

Nadeko: "Not everything can be brushed away as self-help. Some things stick. For example – the words 'you can become anything'. When you grow up – that seems like a stupid notion, doesn't it? Of course, we can't become anything. Of course, we're limited by the things around us. And our mind is less far-reaching than we think it is. And we, as humans, prefer stability. But – if a girl were try to 'become anything' – if that girl were to try to fight against everything she was given, and the limits of herself, and even if it caused her pain, and grief, and non-stop distress – and it built up into stupid ego – can she still become anything?"

Kaiki: "That's a very limited idea of that. A human can become a person who loves the limits of such a world. A human doesn't have to reach out for the stars all the time. I also told you that you had to care for yourself."

Nadeko: "Then – do you think it was stupid that I created another irreplaceable thing for myself? An irreplaceable thing that might be even more out of my reach? At first, I thought that it was love. But, after throwing that away. I found something worse. Something that, for every moment of happiness it gave me – made me struggle 10 times worse. Made me hate myself 10 times more. Made me fight the world 10 times greater. Yet – in some kind of masochistic way, I felt at ease with doing that."

Kaiki: "In my book – you're very stupid. But what does it look like in your book?"

Nadeko: "I think I'm very stupid too. Maybe, Sengoku Nadeko is a person whose core philosophy is to throw herself deep into things – even if it causes her more harm than good. Maybe Sengoku Nadeko just loves irreplaceable things, because every time she tries makes a huge change in her life – her world feels like its crumbling. Or, if you remember, she could only change because she was going to destroy the world."

Kaiki: "Then, such a person could use that irreplaceable thing as an excuse to replace everything else but that irreplaceable thing. And, by the time that person realized that she had replaced everything around it – she would also have replaced that thing."

Nadeko: "Replace everything?"

Kaiki: "Like her environment, or her manga drawing habits, or even the magazine she was serialized in. Even within something that seems irreplaceable, a lot of things can be replaced. She can fool herself into, eventually, changing that thing itself. And, even if she had to destroy a world first – she could replace the things inside that world until it became a world made out of everything she wanted to destroy, and then destroy it. Being fake, fooling yourself, and telling yourself inauthentic things – are just as necessary to being human as living truthfully."

Nadeko: "You're very… thorough, in deceiving yourself."

Kaiki: "As a conman, the person I have to fool the most is myself. If I cannot fool myself into being something I'm not – then I can't be a conman."

Nadeko: "So, how would I go about changing my environment?"

Kaiki: "If you like to work in solitude, and if you like to bear everything by yourself – then you can start by replacing that environment with friends, as well as critics, enemies, and the people that you hate."

Nadeko: "I think I've had enough of critics for a while…"

Kaiki: "Anyone who writes a meandering subplot involving a past lover just to create tension, only to have that entire plot resolve in a deus ex machina – deserves all the criticism she gets."

Nadeko said nothing. She decided that she wanted to enjoy the night.

But she smiled, because that subplot occurred in a lesser known manga of hers. It was when she was just starting out.

Out of all the critics she had – this one was the most important.

---

10.

Kaiki gave her a tip.

Kaiki: "Wait at the grave next to the girl's – and, you should know how to handle the rest."

Nadeko stood at the grave next to Maria Ozaki's one. She waited.

Soon, a man and a woman came up to it. They didn't cry, but they silently stood. One placed flowers before it.

Nadeko stood there silently as well, then she turned to them. They smiled at her.

Nadeko: "Death seems so strange. One day – it all just disappears. But, life goes on."

That line sounded like it came from some kind of hard-boiled cop drama.

The man spoke first.

Mr Ozaki: "Until this day, I still can't believe it."

Nadeko: "Me too."

Mr Ozaki: "That's… Mr Okabe's grave. I've never seen you around before. Did you know each other?"

Nadeko: "He was a – dear acquaintance."

She tried to fake a muffled sob of sorts, and it sounded more like a sneeze. But, they still bought it.

Mr Ozaki: "I understand that you don't want to talk about it. My wife – still doesn't want to acknowledge it."

The woman was kneeling on the ground, kind of catatonic.

Mr Ozaki: "She's been mostly quiet ever since."

Nadeko: "You just… can't say anything about it. I know that feeling."

Nadeko did not – but she tried to sound as pathetic as possible in her tone.

Mr Ozaki: "Mr Okabe told us that, at the very last months of his life, he had found someone who had given him 'new life' – were you that person?"

Nadeko grabbed on to that chance.

Nadeko: "Yes – yes I was…"

Mr Ozaki: "Oh… it must be tough – a beautiful girl like you having to work in a brothel."

At that very moment, Nadeko wanted to jump into the grave with Mr Okabe.

"I'm NOT HANA" – she screamed internally.

Nadeko: "He was a kind man – even to a person like me."

She fake sniffled.

Mr Ozaki: "You must have been through a lot in life… so much stronger than – our girl."

Nadeko: "Was it your daughter?"

Mr Ozaki nodded.

Nadeko: "I'm sorry for your loss."

Mr Ozaki: "She was a beautiful girl – but…"

Nadeko: "If the memories are too painful, you don't have to talk about it."

"DO IT" – she screamed internally.

Mr Ozaki: "No, it's not.. but…"

Nadeko: "I've heard that one way to cope with a loss is to turn the most beautiful moments of that person's life into a story – to pass to other people."

Mr Ozaki: "A story?"

Nadeko: "When something becomes a story, a memory – you can distance yourself from it. Treat it like a beautiful part of the sky."

Mr Ozaki: "The sky…"

Nadeko: "I…r-remember…t-t-the way… Mr O-okabe… would k-kiss me… and s-stroke my h-hair… and touch m-meee… d-downnn…"

It was a scam, and a lie – but her face was turning red.

Mr Ozaki must have confused embarrassment for sadness, because he looked like he was about to cry as well (although, he was also looking pretty embarrassed himself).

Mr Ozaki: "My daughter loved the sea. She was always playing by the beach. She would run around and explore it. She would always show us shells, and interesting things. When I saw her dancing and prancing around in the sand – it looked as though there was nothing more precious in the world."

Nadeko: "So, she spent much of her childhood around the sea?"

Mr Ozaki: "She was also very mischievous. Sometimes, she would sneak out and head to the sea. Whenever she disappeared we always found her there. We always scolded her for doing that – but nothing went wrong, and it was as though there was some strange need inside her to go there."

Nadeko: "Like, some kind of love?"

Mr Ozaki: "I don't know if I would call it that – but when she was young, her life revolved around the sea."

Mr Ozaki: "Once, she had snuck out, but there was a typhoon in the region. When we heard about it, we were so worried."

Mr Ozaki: "We prayed and prayed that nothing would happen to her. That not a scratch would be placed on her."

Mr Ozaki: "In the end – she was okay. She was hiding in one of the caverns. Somehow, it protected her. She was protected by the sea."

Mr Ozaki: "That's why, to this day, I feel as though she were a child blessed by the sea. Even after her death – she's somewhere in the sea, living in peace."

Or, perhaps, living as a shadow. A strange visitor from a distant land.

That was what Nadeko thought.

Mr Ozaki: "And, I think she protected someone else too."

Nadeko: "Someone else?"

Mr Ozaki: "A girl. Another girl was with her during the typhoon. She had also run away from home."

Something connected.

Now it was too obvious.

Like some kind of cliched romance story.

Like some kind of backstory that would appear in a galge.

Nadeko: "Would that person be… Arika Kawaguchi?"

Mr Ozaki: "Arika? Oh – the Kawaguchi daughter! How did you know?"

Nadeko: "Just, a random guess."

Mr Ozaki looked at her doubtfully, but he continued anyway.

Mr Ozaki: "I don't know what kind of stuff goes on in that family, but Arika was also a runaway that day. And it wasn't just for fun."

Mr Ozaki: "When she was taken away, she was kicking and screaming."

Nadeko: "Object of first love…"

Mr Ozaki: "What?"

Nadeko: "Nothing."

Was it really that – simple?

The world was deeper than it looked, but sometimes – it was simpler.

That was just, how the story would end. It wasn't going to be anything earth-shattering. There wasn't going to be a life or death crisis. There wasn't going to be any zombie apocalypse.

Sometimes, stories were that easy to unravel.

---

11.

Arika: "So, what you're saying is – my first love was Maria?"

Nadeko: "Yep."

Arika: "And because I killed her – or caused her to kill herself – she turned into the Marebito?"

Nadeko: "Initially, the Marebito was the voice that visited your home, that seemed to come from beyond the walls. It was the hidden element of the earth that supported the house you lived in. When it transferred over into the sea – the meaning flipped on its head. No longer was it the hidden foundation of a house – but it was now the distant shadow on the horizon that called out to you, and was determined to pull you away from your home. In this case, the Marebito is like a Siren. It wants you to recognize, and remember, the thing you forgot – but if you do not heed the call, then it will destroy you… or so I heard…. Something along those lines."

Kaiki's long explanation of the nature of the Marebito was extremely paradoxical and nonsensical – and sounded like something that some kind of German philosopher would come up with.

Nadeko: "Everything is connected, even our forgetting invokes a kind of remembrance. What is hidden sets the standard for what is unconcealed. What seems to be a normal human can turn into a God. The object of our desire can change into deepest hate. The act of human living, of all life, and of everything that surrounds life – is caught in such a paradoxical state.

Arika: "I have no idea what you're saying – nor do I want to know. But – it's true that I totally forgot everything about Maria until you reminded me."

Nadeko: "Was she your first love?"

Arika: "Maybe. I was really confused at the time. But – if all I have to do is to make peace with the memory, then I'm com-plete-ly okay with that."

Nadeko: "In other words, you're going to just get this over with, and forget about everything that you've ever done – and go back to your fun little life."

Arika: "I could also get eaten up – if what you're saying is really through, and this is something inside me that I can't like – touch."

Arika smiled. It was a fiendish smile.

Arika: "Either way – win or lose – at the very least, I understood the cause of it."

Nadeko: "You are the most enigmatic 14-year-old I have ever met in my entire life – and I was a pretty enigmatic 14-year-old myself."

Arika: "So when's the ritual going to start?"

Nadeko: "Tonight. We'll set up on the beach. Only you have to come."

In truth, the elaborate set-up was all un-needed. This was all a part of Kaiki's scam. He had ordered plenty of jewels, talismans, and other mystical artefacts as a part of the ritual, and he could easily put Arika to sleep after the exorcism – then blame the disappearance of the loot on the voracious hunger of the Marebito. He had given the household instructions for Arika to come alone – providing some fake excuse about too many people 'disturbing the wind'.

When it came to the supernatural and the abnormal – people could buy into a lot of things.

Kaiki Deishuu was the man who slipped through those cracks, and earned material wealth for himself.

---

12.

As the winds whipped through, and the waves smashed against rock, Arika fled into the cavern.

She was frightened. The storm was larger than anything she had ever directly witnessed in her life. It seemed as though the entire foundation of her world was breaking down.

Yet, somewhere inside, she felt that it was still a better place than that cold and insufferable household – packed with servants and human statues.

She was, in every sense of the word – a stereotypical rich girl.

So, she decided to stop running, and she faced the lashing waves and rain. She looked out into the sea from the cavern, and felt water splash against her face.

Then, a small sound came from behind her.

She turned around.

A girl was standing there.

Arika: "Who are you?"

Maria: "You're getting wet."

Arika: "I don't care."

Maria: "If you catch a cold, you might die."

Arika looked back at the sea, and then headed into the deeper part of the cavern.

The rocky walls seemed like their own world, the farther you entered. This cove was carved into a cliff.

Arika: "Why're you out here in a storm?"

Maria: "I can ask you the same thing."

Arika: "I hate my home."

Maria: "I love mine."

Arika: "Then why are you so far away from it?"

Maria: "If I want to love my home more, sometimes I have to go farther away from it."

Arika: "That doesn't make any sense."

Maria: "The sea is big, right?"

Arika: "So what?"

Maria: "It's so big that it looks like there's something beyond it. But Mama told me that it was just more water. But when I look at the sea, I can imagine so many other lands beyond. When I look at my house, I can't see anything but the walls."

Arika: "But you still love your home?"

Maria: "The walls are peaceful, but sometimes I want to see the sea."

Arika: "You're weird."

Maria: "Why do you want to see the sea?"

Arika: "Same reason as you – but I hate looking at walls. I can't get away from them."

Maria: "But when you look at the sea now – it's all violent and dark. It's scary."

Arika: "I still think it's better than my house."

Maria: "It's harder to imagine anything beyond the clouds."

Arika: "I think it's easier – because it's so dark. You can imagine that light is gonna come soon."

Maria: "Do you like to imagine things in the dark?"

Arika: "When I sleep in the dark, I can see more shapes in the walls."

Maria: "That's scary."

Arika: "To me, it's interesting."

Maria: "I don't like the dark."

Arika: "I can forget about things in the dark."

Maria: "Why do you want to forget?"

Arika: "Isn't it better to forget bad things?"

Maria: "Only if you have a lot of good things you want to remember."

Arika: "If I have to go through so many bad things to find good things, I'd rather have nothing."

Maria: "Nothing at all?"

Arika: "Then I don't have to think about anything."

Maria: "But we still have to think in nothing."

Arika: "Eventually, if you think about nothing long enough, you won't have to think about anything."

Maria: "That sounds weird."

Arika: "Now we're both weird."

They giggled.

Maria: "It's cold, do you want to get warmer?"

Arika: "How?"

Maria nudged up to Arika.

Maria: "Like this."

Arika: "But if you do that, won't my cold spread to you?"

Maria: "Eventually the cold will pass back and forth, and become warm."

Arika: "I don't believe you. Where did the cold go?"

Maria: "The cold started to walk around and around, and it became warm."

Arika: "Cold can walk?"

Maria: "You get warmer when you walk around for a while right? And tired."

Arika: "What if the cold walks away? Then we'll get too warm!"

Maria: "When that happens, the cold will become tired, and take a break. Then we'll go back to being just right."

As they talked, Arika felt the cold dissipating from her being. She pulled herself tighter to Maria. Maria was warm. Maria was a living flame.

Arika: "I've never sat this close to someone before."

Maria: "You haven't?"

Arika: "Not someone around my age. Maybe my mom held me once."

Maria: "How does it feel?"

Maria placed Arika's palm on her cheek.

Arika: "Like the cold is walking away."

Maria: "Mom does that to me when I fall sick."

Arika: "Do you like your parents?"

Maria: "I love them!"

Arika: "I hate them."

Maria: "That must be sad."

Arika: "But it's okay, because if I rub my hands together, I'll be warm."

Maria: "You don't want your parents to touch you?"

Arika: "I don't want anyone to touch me."

Maria moved away.

Arika: "I didn't mean… you."

Maria: "I'm okay?"

Arika: "Yes – you're okay."

Maria: "I'm glad I'm okay."

Arika: "I'm a little sleepy."

Maria: "Are you cold?"

Arika: "A little."

Maria pulled Arika into her lap

Maria: "Mom does this to me when I'm sleepy."

Arika said nothing.

Maria: "Sometimes, she reads me a story."

Arika said nothing.

Maria: "One of them was about a man who couldn't tell the difference between dreams and waking up."

Maria: "He walked down the street, and he said hello to a flying fish."

Maria: "He thought that a lamp-pole wasn't real, and he walked into it."

Maria: "He looked at the air full of balloons, and thought he couldn't breathe."

Maria: "Eventually, the man asked the sky."

Maria: "How can I live if I can't tell the difference between dreams and waking up?"

Maria: "The sky said – you will meet a friend who can tell the difference between waking up and dreams. He will guide you and show you the way."

Maria: "The man met his friend. The friend was wearing a black bowler hat and a black suit"

Maria: "The man walked down the street and met a flying fish. The friend told him that it was a dream."

Maria: "The man walked down the street and walked towards a lamp-post. The friend told him that it was real."

Maria: "The man walked down the street and felt himself choking, because the air was full of balloons. The friend waved away the balloons and said it was a dream."

Maria: "The man walked through life this way – with his friend telling him what was real and what wasn't."

Maria: "One day, as the man was dying, he turned to his friend and asked him a final question."

Maria: "I've never asked you this before – but are you a dream or are you real?"

Maria: "The friend smiled, and his face became the sky."

Maria: "I was always a dream. You are not dying. You are waking up."

Maria: "As the sky said that, the man fell into a deep sleep, and died."

Arika was warm. She closed her eyes.

The warm spread into her, and lighted a fire that she hadn't felt anywhere else.

And that fire continued to spread – indefinitely.

---

13.

Both Nadeko and Kaiki were decked out in gold. Necklaces hung down their necks. They had rings on every finger. They were at the cavern where it all started.

Arika: "Do you really need all that?"

Nadeko: "Yes."

Arika: "I have a feeling you don't – but either way, if you get rid of this… I don't care. My father's too rich anyway."

Nadeko: "Glad you understand."

She dragged Arika to a certain spot.

Nadeko: "Now stand here, and face the horizon."

Arika: "Uh huh."

Nadeko: "Have that memory as clear in your head as possible."

Arika: "Okay."

Nadeko: "Imagine this. You are in a room without windows, and you turn to the east. What do you see?"

Arika: "A wall."

At this answer, Kaiki burnt a talisman and threw it into the wind.

Nadeko: "Imagine this. You are standing in the cavern, and you turn to the north. What do you see?"

Arika: "The horizon."

Kaiki burnt another talisman, and threw it into the wind.

Nadeko: "When you turn behind, what do you see?"

Arika: "The cavern?"

Ashes, in the wind.

Nadeko: "Imagine this. You are standing in a field, and you turn to the west. What do you see?"

Arika: "The world."

Ashes.

Fire.

Paper.

Shadow.

Shadow – the Marebito at the edge of the World.

Nadeko: "Is the figure in the field?"

Arika: "No."

Nadeko: "Is the figure in the room?"

Arika: "No."

Nadeko: "Where is the figure?"

Arika: "On the horizon – the threshold between Earth and World."

Nadeko: "Open your eyes."

Arika opened her eyes.

A shadow was walking on the horizon.

A shadow that came from beyond the horizon.

A shadow that came from the Tokoyo no Kuni.

A shadow that understood the silence of love.

A shadow that understood the miasma of death.

A shadow that understood the movements of time.

Such a shadow – was walking on the horizon.

Arika fell to her knees.

Arika: "The shadow… is walking. It isn't… moving its neck."

Arika: "It wants… to meet… me."

Arika: "The boat… it stands on the boat of fire."

Arika: "It stands on the boat of desire… drawn by the winds."

Arika: "The alien winds… cold, my soul."

Arika: "Beyond finitude… the veil beyond death."

Arika: "All…everything."

Arika: "Comes to an end…"

Arika: "In…you."

In a trance state – shaking in a kind of fear – she muttered those words.

Kaiki: "The world is becoming unconcealed. For now, it's much vaster than what it presents to us. Just stay your ground, and you won't be shaken."

Nadeko: "What's with her creepy speech?"

Kaiki: "In order to see the Marebito properly, she had to cleanse her eyes of presence. Currently, she's looking beyond that. Things are becoming paradoxical for her. Just stick to the ground and you'll be okay."

Nadeko: "This – seems very different from any abnormalities I've known about."

Kaiki: "When you deal with the Tokoyo no Kuni – you deal with nonsense in its purest form. At the bottom of our logical world is a deep edifice of nonsense and swirling paradox. Normally, abnormalities don't reach this state – but somehow, I had a sense of it here."

Nadeko: "You mean you were expecting something like this?!"

Kaiki: "We're very close to the edge here. Deviate too much and we might die."

Nadeko: "You're only telling me this now?!"

Kaiki: "Paradoxes don't appear in anything large. They appear in the simplest of things. Strip away our sense of reality – and this is the madness that you get. But it's appearance is rare."

Nadeko: "But why did it appear specially for her?"

Kaiki: "There are some abnormalities that cannot be questioned, and have no purpose. There is nothing recognizably human about them."

Nadeko: "How long will this take?!"

Kaiki: "The paradox is dissipating already. The Marebito is appearing it its clearest definition."

Arika suddenly stopped shaking, and she stared at the horizon.

The shadow was a lot closer than before, and it was sharper.

Every step seemed to be brimming with intention.
In a certain direction.
An object of desire.

The shadow eventually reached the girl
And as its hands reached out towards her
The darkness scattered

Arika: "Maria…"

A ghostly figure of a girl
Grabbed Arika's neck
Strangled
Harshly
Fingers biting the skin

Nadeko: "Arika!"

Kaiki: "Don't do anything. You can't do anything."

Nadeko: "But – this is different from anything human! She can't save herself!"

Kaiki: "Humans can only save themselves. But – this is an exception."

Nadeko: "So?"

Kaiki: "There is no weight to remove. No map to seek. No wish to break. No loophole. No trick. No relationship to solve. No falsehood. No truth. Everything is happening in darker, untouchable, realms of the world."

Nadeko: "Then what can we do?"

Kaiki: "This is cosmic strife in the truest sense. Gods exist at this very moment. The sense is beyond ours, and can only be resolved through a sense beyond ours. At the very root of every abnormality and aberration – from vampires to monsters – is this."

Nadeko: "Are you breaking?"

Kaiki was looking like his normal self. His face was stoic. But he was reciting an endless stream of hermetic monologue.

Kaiki: "At the very moment, everything is dangerous. But – where the moment of danger is – the saving power… also."

At that very moment
The shadow, which was about to crush
Arika's neck.

Maria's hands,
Loosened,
Softly – and surely

Like swans receding into the night.

Kaiki was silent.
Arika was silent.
Nadeko was bewildered.

The ghostly Maria wrapped her hands around Arika, and hugged her.

As though the storm had passed
As though everything returned to the cavern
As though night had faded into day

Kaiki: "Everything has returned to the human."

Nadeko: "I have no idea what just happened."

Kaiki: "Just treat it like nonsense."

Nadeko: "That word is getting irritating, stop saying it."

She looked over to Arika.

Arika: "So, you forgive me – then?"

Nadeko: "I don't think that's her. I think that's like your version of her – or something."

Arika: "You'll let me go?"

Arika stood up.

She was now face to face with Maria.

Arika: "Maria…"

Arika reached out for the ghost
Placed her hands on her shoulders
And clamped down on her neck.

---

14.

Nadeko: "WHAT are you DOING?!"

Nadeko was about to run and push Arika away, but Kaiki, who had come out of his trance, held her back.

Kaiki: "Only humans can save themselves. This is her own way."

Nadeko: "Isn't this WRONG?!"

Kaiki: "These values don't apply here. You're talking about something already dead. Something abnormal."

But, both of them were silenced by the voice of the girl. It rang out shrill and clear:

I Am Evil.

If you were to pick apart my life, and look through my diaries, memories, and dreams – you could come up with any number of reasons as to why I turned out this way. And there might be a bit of truth of all of those reasons – but all of those reasons would be wrong in their own way.

There is no flaw or emptiness in my being. I have never felt a shred of guilt, although I have felt countless emotions towards things that were close to me.

When I held that memory of Maria by the sea, I felt love for her. I knew that she was my first love and the object of my first desire. But, even after remembering that – I felt no remorse.

Instead, all I felt was cold want.
As though, I had to strip this dream and idle passion from me
And, return to the regions of my control.

I Am Evil.

There is something essentially wrong about me, in that there is nothing wrong with me
And I think I have the ability to live as well and as content as anyone else
Perhaps, after this moment, I might never ever commit another crime again in my life

But I Am Evil

For this very moment, I am acting solely on my own power
My own ability to cause harm to another being
And I am only acting on this because such a being is standing in my way

Although, ultimately, all I am doing is attacking a ghost of my own creation
This very act, somehow, stripped of all appearance, is Evil
It cannot be anything other than Evil

There is no personal gain to this, nor is it necessary
And I do not feel any positive or negative emotions about it
But I am merely acting upon the fact of Evil

There is only power, throbbing at the very center of my action
And the world that I make around this action justifies it
And so the action is only justified by its own existence as Evil

I do not oppose Good – I am merely another plane altogether
As some actions might be, at their core – Good
The action I am carrying out is absolute Evil.

At this point – the voice changed into something deeper and darker. It was no longer Arika's voice, but there was nothing other than Arika there. It was as though something else were jutting out from her soul.

Arika: "Humans can become anything they think about becoming."

Arika: "To commit crimes against humanity, and still live with no guilt, and live happily afterwards – or live calmly – or even to live without happiness, but still be constant in one's crimes – they can become such a thing if they want to be."

Nadeko's eyes widened. Those words were familiar. Extremely familiar.

Arika: "Everything is substitutable, and nothing is irreplaceable. There is no irreplaceable love, or kindness, or friendship, or item. It can all be ruined, destroyed, decimated, and turned into trash for another man's want. Everything foundationless can be loved, and then destroyed at the very next moment. The world can be changed from a world of humans to a world of plastic bottles if so dearly wished."

Arika: "If someone says – this is the reason I'm alive – or if someone says – I have to live for such a reason. I can remove such a thing from them. I can undercut the very foundation of their lives. Humans are adaptable creatures – so they can find new reasons, and I can take more joy in undercutting their newest reason."

Arika: "You do not become worthless if you kill a human being. You can become a president, or the pope, or even a person that helps others. Sin does not invalidate life. Sometimes, sin enforces and invigorates life."

Arika: "You can love law-abiding citizens and wish for their success, and break the law behind their back. No moral or thing can receive special treatment. All can be taken from their pedestal."

Arika: "Even an alter ego – a person who is my double, can be destroyed without any loss to my being."

Arika: "I can commit evil, destroy, cause misery, suffering, and harm – and still save myself from it. I do not need a higher being to redeem what I can do with my own hands. And I am the only one who can maintain such a dream."

Arika: "I can swap around in the world, making mistakes, and crimes wherever I wish – and in the next moment I can swerve to become a paragon of good. There is nothing that is impossible. What I am is deeper than those surfaces."

Arika: "I can destroy the longest romances. I can bring sword against love. It does not matter how long something has been settled – because I can rend it apart as easily as pulling the wings from a dragonfly. I can live without ever tiring of such infinite schisms."

Arika: "Because humans, as humans, can redo something as much as they want. Re-purchase anything as much as they want…"

Arika: "Isn't that right – Kaiki?"

Arika: "At the very foundation of a man who wishes to live in the rootless world, accepting abnormality and paradox, ensuring that everything flows in the endless tide of becoming. Truth as falsity. Falsity as truth. Allowing fiction to become reality. And reality to recede into fiction."

Arika: "At the foundation of such a man – there was something pulling him from just beyond the horizon – like a siren's call. Object of first desire. Or… perhaps."

BEING: "Object of desire, lost. Therefore, sending him ruthless into the world – rootless, without anything irreplaceable."

BEING: "Is it not normal for man to live as the median of man? Inside the ever present present that recedes into the future and is thrown-in from the past?"

BEING: "Yet, such a rootless man – a man who deals with abnormalities – cannot ever step back on the path of the median. At the very foundation of such a man has to be chaos."

BEING: "But for you to have existed so long in such a state – is ever proof to me that there is still something of a hardness in your soul. Despite the fact that you've seen beyond the horizon of all abnormalities and all untruths. Not quite enough has been uprooted from your core yet."

BEING: "Did you forget that moment when Object A was taken from you?"

BEING: "I remember it well."

BEING: "I cherish it like a memory turned into repetition. An eternal recurrence of that single moment – caught in the endless streams of whispers and confusions."

BEING: "Could it be that you've managed to keep stable all this while because of the sturdy fakeness that you've kept inside you?"

BEING: "But for you to live longer than any veritable Methuselah – is quite a feat to watch."

BEING: "I do not know when the show will end – but I shall cherish it as an opera, viewed from the finest heights. But every action shall come to its eventual end."

BEING: "The curtains of velvet falls on any play. The yellow nose of Cyrano de Bergerac must peek out from the smart face of Christian. And, one day, all things must wake up from the world where the sky is their companion."

BEING "I am the hound of the endless masks. The titan of forms. That which is more human but not yet so."

BEING: "Today I meet you again, and bid you farewell."

And Arika collapsed into unconsciousness.

Leaving both Nadeko and Kaiki flabbergasted in the sand.

As the moment of evil passed, and everything returned to normal.

Kaiki: "I'm not paying you to laze around."

Nadeko snapped out of her state. Kaiki was already taking the loot and dumping it into bags.

Nadeko: "What…"

Kaiki: "Some questions don't deserve any answers. In the rare case where you get an answer, you might not be satisfied with it – nor understand it."

Nadeko: "I give up. It's all nonsense."

Nadeko sprawled herself out in the sand, next to the body of the unconscious girl. She could not see her as anything other than human.

---

15.

Seafood Ramen. The Best.

Nadeko: "I can't get enough of this place!"

Hawaiian shirt Kaiki silently slurped the bowl of noodles in front of him. Nadeko was slurping too, but peeked out at him from the corner of her eye."

Nadeko: "Will I get – any – explanation for whatever happened today?"

Kaiki: "Eventually, everything becomes a story that you can tell to someone else. Only then can you look back on it with clarity."

Nadeko: "Except that – this wasn't even a story. It had no proper resolution, was full of nonsense answers and questions – and it didn't even make any sense."

Kaiki: "Everything can be a story if you look at it in the correct way."

Nadeko: "Sometimes, I wonder if you're even trying to communicate anything."

Kaiki: "I can simplify it for you. This was the story about a mangaka named Sengoku Nadeko who was stuck in a creative rut – worried about her life – and so she decided to take a holiday by the seaside."

Nadeko: "Yet, Sengoku Nadeko's creative worries, and financial worries – were neither fixed nor forgotten. She wasted her time and couldn't enjoy the trip at all. The only thing she gained from this journey was a bit of spare cash and some good food."

Kaiki: "The story already exists, and is already in its making."

Nadeko: "That's the excuse that bad writers give to their editors when they can't resolve any of their plot points in a thorough manner."

Kaiki: "Sometimes, it's better to have a badly written story that you can call your own, than to have no story at all."

Nadeko: "Yet, if all you have are badly written stories, your life must be really dull."

Kaiki: "A person can be a creator of dull and shallow stories – and still enjoy a holiday by the seaside."

Nadeko: "How about we leave that as the moral of this story, and end the nonsense here?"

Kaiki: "The nonsense never ends, as long as you live."

Nadeko: "I'm going to end it right now if you don't shut up."

Nadeko stood up.

Nadeko: "I'm going to the toilet to clean my ears."

She left the table and headed to the restroom. She did whatever she wanted to do, and came back.

Kaiki was gone.

There was an envelope sitting on the table.

It contained her pay, enough money to pay for her room, enough money to pay for the meal, and enough money to get home by train.

Nadeko: "Idiot – you broke your promise to help me make my vlog."

Yet, hidden amidst the stacks of cash – was a video CD.

She went back to the inn, and popped it in.

It opened up into the cavern by the sea.

It was taken when they were setting up.

There must have been a camera hidden among the various props.

Nadeko: "Do I really have to wear all this gold?"

Kaiki: "Gold when worn is different from gold in the pocket. Its value increases by its presence."

Nadeko: "Are you ever going to talk normally?"

Kaiki: "The value of normal increases by the existence of the abnormal. The reverse is also true."

Nadeko: "I've got one – if you spend your time making no sense, you'll run out of cash in your bank account."

Kaiki: "…"

Nadeko: "The pun wasn't that bad!"

Kaiki: "If you keep talking, wit will come out of your mouth – but only in short bursts, followed by long stretches of inanity."

Nadeko: "I'm going quite insane right now."

Kaiki: "At the very least, insanity is an improvement over a lack of anything interesting to say. You should aim for that minimum."

Nadeko: "Sometimes I wonder – why didn't I kill you when I was a snake god."

Kaiki: "Because you found meaning in drawing bad manga – now you can't get that chance back."

Nadeko: "You know where to hit where it HURTS."

Kaiki: "Just a perk of being a master conman and conversationalist.

Nadeko: "And a master egoist too."

Kaiki: "It is harder to give genuine self-praise than to accept easy compliments from strangers."

Nadeko: "I see nothing genuine in that self-praise."

Kaiki: "It wasn't genuine. I was under-valuating myself."

Nadeko: "If you ever become – genuine – I'll give you a genuine kick in the nuts."

Whatever she found irritating during the conversation itself – now seemed to be brushed over with some kind of nostalgia.

Like, the fact that it was a joy to meet an old acquaintance – even if that person could be considered an enemy.

Like, the fact that every human needs a break after a long period of hard work.

Like, the fact that there is nothing more engaging in life than sparring words among friends.

And all of those other things that could be viewed as clichés, banalities, and things that seemed like common sense.

The foundation that every life rested on. The irreplaceable.

---

16.

When Sengoku Nadeko finally returned to her small apartment, she threw herself onto the bed and rubbed her face into the pillows.

In other words – the holiday was over.

She'd have to come up with a new series.
She'd have to overcome this writer's block – somehow.
She'd have to return to that struggle with herself.

After fighting for so long – resting on the knowledge that these were her limits.
That she couldn't do anything other than repeat herself.
That her art was soft – and her talent was shallow.

Yet, was it really so irreplaceable?
Was it really so important?
Why did it call out to her?

Why couldn't she let it go – like how she had let go of a lot of other things?

Why did she have to grit her teeth and suffer like this?

Because such things were important.
Because there was nothing that was, ultimately, irreplaceable.
Because Evil could root those things from the ground.

In the rootless world, there were people who could live like that.
There were conmen and spirit mediums who could walk on such shifting territory.
They could throw away things, and re-organize their priorities – while still being existentially fulfilled.

But not Nadeko.
She realized how dearly she needed foundation.
How much she hated that earlier version of herself – the one who slugged through life.

In response, she became steadfast in self-criticism.
She broke herself against the wall, again and again.
Each time, drawing a bit of blood – but feeling the sureness of herself.

Because she knew that she couldn't change – that was how she changed.
Every moment of her life was hanging over a pit.
The pit that would return her to her lazy ways.

So, she became such a thing.
She lived a life that was never easy.
And – in some way, became her mirror.

It was strange how life worked.
Another girl – a certain main heroine – who had always decided to confront anything.
To take on everything as though it were not easy.

Such a girl was now living in the ease and comfort of herself.
On the other hand – Nadeko, who had it easy
Had become ruthlessly attached to making things difficult for herself.

Perhaps, there were only bad ends.
The girl who was holding tight to her comfort.
Would find that reality shattered one day, and fall into struggle ten times worse than before.

The girl who was holding tight to her struggle.
Would be broken by it.
And fall into comfort and ease ten times worse than before.

Could such a thing happen?

As Nadeko pondered that, her phone rang.

It was Karen. Intrepid journalist Araragi Karen.

Karen: "Hi!"

Nadeko: "Hell-lo…"

Karen: "You sound dead. Are you dead?"

Nadeko: "Almost. Very close."

Karen: "How was your holiday?! Was it fun?!"

Nadeko: "Karen is too loooud…"

Karen: "That's because Nadeko is too soft!"

Nadeko: "Are you drunk? You sound… strange."

Karen: "Justice well-served deserves to be served!"

Nadeko: "Does Rara-chan know that you're drinking?"

Karen: "If you tell – I'll be in a Chanbara!"

Nadeko: "Words are being said, but meaning is lost."

Karen: "When you've lost your panties, they're at a Burasera!"

Nadeko: "Your chara is shifting in a Kanbaru direction. She's having too much influence on you. One day you'll turn into a Karen-Bar…u.

Dead air.

Nadeko: "Calendar? Geddit? I was trying to be random, and now… I want to vomit."

Karen: "BLERUUUUUGGGHHHH."

Someone's guts was being spilled on the other side.

Some kind of scuffling sound leaked out of the receiver.

Nadeko: "Hello… Karen?"

Karen: "Sorry… I vomited on the bartender. Now, I'm kissing the pavement."

Nadeko: "I see…"

Karen: "But! Turn on the TV!"

Nadeko: "Huh?!"

Karen: "TV – turn on!"

Nadeko was puzzled, but she did as she was told.

It was the news. A camera was focusing on a very familiar looking mansion.

Kawaguchi's Mansion.

And the man himself – the patriarch of the household – was being dragged out in cuffs.

Nadeko: "But… this is – what?!"

Karen: "Good work!"

Nadeko: "Work?"

Karen: "White collar crime. Prostitution rings. Yakuza ties. Nigerian Prince Scams – the Kawaguchi family was serious bad business!"

In other words – what Kaiki was doing.
In other words – why he brought her
Was to be a decoy, while he snooped around.

Nadeko: "WHAT?!"

Karen: "So loud!"

Nadeko: "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT COMING FROM YOU!"

Karen: "Kaiki didn't tell you?"

Nadeko: "NOT A WORD!"

Karen: "That sounds – just – like Kaiki."

Nadeko: "In the first place – WHY ARE YOU ON HIS SIDE? Aren't you an 'Ally of Justice'? Why are you teaming up with a crook like him?!"

Karen: "Toooo loooooud!"

Nadeko: "Stop avoiding the – "

She looked at the screen again.

Arika was on screen, screaming, biting and kicking – at both cops and journalists.

Nadeko: "Evil, gets what it deserves – huh."

Karen: "Evil shall not go undefeated!"

Nadeko: "No matter what means?"

Karen: "As long as, in the end, all evil is gone! The means don't matter!"

Nadeko: "I see."

Her voice became softer.

Nadeko: "We've – stopped being childish? Both of us?"

Karen: "Hmm?"

Nadeko: "That was why you sent him, right? Because he doesn't like irreplaceable things."

Karen laughed.

Karen: "I didn't send him. He volunteered. One day, he appeared out of nowhere! And he told us that he would help us, and he disappeared. I didn't even know you were involved until I heard it from Kanbaru."

Nadeko: "He volunteered?"

Karen: "He has ears in strange places – what a creep!"

In other words.
In other words.
In other words.

It probably went like this.
Karen had told Kanbaru. Kanbaru had told Kaiki.
She was stuck.
She was doubting herself.

Or, Kaiki had found out – in his own way.
Either way,
He was a creep.

Nadeko: "And, in the end – all he did was waste my time!"

Karen: "It was a waste of time?"

Nadeko: "I met a girl who – I thought was like me – but wasn't. I solved a mystery that – I thought was going to be complex and psychological – but was actually simple and paradoxical. I thought I was going to get some kind of new view on my life – but all that was affirmed was my own difficulties. And I can't even explain anything to you – because the story is so disjointed and fragmentary!"

Karen: "Are you still stuck?"

Nadeko "Yes!"

Karen: "Even after I told you about that very interesting story idea I had about the man who was a sword fighting other swords?!"

Nadeko: "That's not my genre!"

Karen: "Then you're digging your own trap! With the aging population – no one wants to read about pure love anymore! Instead they want individualistic and self-affirming stories about living your own life to the fullest! If you can't even write a story about a sword that learned how to be a man – then you'll never be able to beat the market!"

Nadeko: "I asked the wrong person – I'm hanging…"

Karen: "Wait!"

Nadeko: "What!?"

Karen: "Did he really give you nothing?"

Nadeko: "Nothing at all. Besides money."

Karen: "I said that he volunteered – but it's not like I haven't dealt with criminals before."

Nadeko: "Huh?"

Karen: "When you're a journalist, you learn a lot of things about the world. You learn that there are bad people who are untouchable. Touching them will make things worse. Innocent people will suffer, even if it's done for the sake of justice. You learn that you have to turn to criminals, and compromises, and backhanded deals."

Nadeko: "I think, I understand that much."

Karen: "I didn't. Or, I did – but something inside me was trying to push away from that truth. Saying – I could do it without compromise. Saying – I could do it without relying on anything but my own sense of justice! But, when I eventually had to do it – I was broken up inside."

Nadeko: "You, never told me that."

Karen: "That's because I'm more selfish and stubborn than you about some things. I learnt that a long time ago, but I never, ever, ever, really acted on that lesson."

Nadeko: "That thing involving Kaiki as well?"

Karen: "Yes – and being called a fake by my brother. Even though I understood that – I fought even harder because of it! Somehow, in the end, it was something that was stuck inside me. Even though I knew that such things would never hold in the real world."

Nadeko: "What happened afterwards?"

Karen: "In the end, I turned to the only person who – I thought – could help me. I turned to my brother. After all, he was the one who started it!"

Nadeko: "What about Rara-chan?"

Karen: "She's way more pragmatic, and stronger, than me – and she doesn't care about this kind of stuff. She didn't give me any answers. But I thought that he would."

Karen: "So, I talked to him on the phone, and he invited me over for a few days. To stay at his 'love nest'."

Nadeko shuddered internally at the word.

Karen: "And Senjougahara was there – as lovey-dovey as ever – and as sarcastic as ever too! But they took me in for a while. He even slept on the couch so I could use his bed! That pissed Senjougahara off, but I was their guest – and so I became her teddy bear for a few nights. It was really disturbing. She needs to hug something at night because of slight PTSD or something – from her past – but ever since they got married, she got addicted to hugging living things. Mainly – him. So, I had to stay as still as possible while Senjougahara hugged me and mumbled weird things from time to time. Now that I think about it – that was the reason why he invited me over!"

Nadeko's internal model of the prim & intelligence Senjougahara Hitagi was collapsing.

Karen: "Because of that, I couldn't get any proper sleep at night. The next day, bro went for his Salaryman job and I was taken all over town by Senjougahara, who was content with being a Japanese housewife. Even though she was the cause of my fatigue – she wanted me to do all sorts of things with her! And then she unloaded all kinds of stuff on me – like the fact that the real world kept getting in the way of her love, and the fact that they didn't have children because she was still 'afraid', and the fact that she was lonely and stuck in the house a lot of the time. All that kind of stereotypical modern housewife woes!"

Nadeko: "She told you all that?"

Karen: "But, she was determined to live for her love, to never stray from the path, and whenever she saw him at night – her love blossomed again. Her life had that as its foundation, the good and the bad. It was not as romantic as she thought, but it was stable. But, even though she unloaded all those problems and thoughts onto me – she never listened to any of mine! Whenever I tried to bring up something about what I was feeling, she would brush it off with a snappy comment and run in another direction. At night, when we were all at the dinner table, the three of us would argue and banter and be spun around into circular conversations about nothing – like some kind of bad manzai routine. But, it was fun."

Karen: "And, in the end, when I tried to talk to my bro about my problems – he didn't say anything much. All he told me was – just continue to do what I believed in and don't think about it. Really? If I wanted to hear that, I could go read a self-help book! By the end of my stay, I was exhausted and confused. I waved goodbye. Both of them waved back at me, in sync, smiling – like two idiots trapped in their own little paradise, separate from the world."

Karen: "When I was young – I really looked up to him. Maybe it was because there was something 'lost' about him, and he was constantly questioning the world and jumping into things, and that made it seem like he was really profound. But, in the end – when he finally managed to get his small answer, he cut away all of those things. All his self-sacrifice, and his constant doubt. During that visit – it felt as though the bro I knew wasn't there at all."

Karen: "That made me really angry, and I was angry the entire way home. But, when I got home, I realized that all of my problems seemed smaller than they first appeared. Going through that weird experience, getting angry over it – yet having fun… as time passed, the problems became manageable. They were still there, but I just decided to compromise by minimizing as much compromise as possible – while still leaving it as an option when necessary."

Karen: "I think I went on for too long – and I don't know if that'll give you any answer… but. I think…"

Nadeko smiled, and her voice conveyed that smile.

Nadeko: "No, I understand completely."

Karen: "Really?"

Nadeko: "You slept in the same bed with Senjougahara, so we can't be friends ever again."

Karen: "You're right! Next time we meet – I'll be the one with the wooden oar, and you can be Sasaki Kojiro – Oh… I think another one's coming up…"

And then, Nadeko heard another BLEUUUURRRGGGHHHH – and she heard someone scream "My Smartphone!" before the line cut off.

She looked back at the TV. The news was over, but her head still swam with that image of Arika. The terrifyingly sadistic spoilt rich girl. The embodiment of evil. Yet, life went on in its own way – and with her fortune gone, she'd probably be less stereotypical, and more balanced.

Life went on in its own way.
So Nadeko had to move as well.
Even though it was troubling, and painful.

Nadeko: "Should I write another shallow romance story? Or try something else… but what about my fanbase?"

She remembered a quote or a saying from somewhere – that an artist could not be a true artist unless she was constantly facing doubt about her own work. Doubts about her 'truth'. That feeling of being a sham.

In other words…

The doorbell rang.

Nadeko: "Coming!"

She shouted, as she headed over and opened it.

And came face to face with a familiar face.

---

17.

Kaiki and Nadeko sat opposite one another. He held a suitcase in front of him.

Nadeko: "You haven't even apologized for disappearing."

Kaiki: "I did not sign any contract requiring a tidy farewell. And I paid you in full."

Nadeko: "You also haven't apologized for keeping me in the dark and manipulating me."

Kaiki: "If you didn't expect that from me – then you really are naïve."

Nadeko: "And so, I find you paying me a visit again. What do you want?"

Kaiki: "To negotiate a previous business proposition."

He opened the suitcase. It was full of money. Nadeko had never seen that much money in her life, and her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

Kaiki: "In exchange for this, and any other cost she might require – I wish to purchase the artistic skills of one Sengoku Nadeko – to write a manga about my life."

Nadeko: "You can't be serious."

Kaiki: "I am never serious, but that does not mean that I'm lying at this moment in time."

Nadeko: "In exchange for drawing your life story – you'll give me enough cash to never go hungry for the rest of my life?"

Kaiki: "Supposing that you eat only rice and a few side dishes per meal – yes."

Nadeko stood up.

Nadeko: "When I began to walk this path – I had many doubts about myself. I was in pain, but I was able to continue because the pain was essential to what I wanted to do. I wanted to get rid of my old self. But, eventually – I didn't know whether I was doing the right thing or not. It seemed stupid to go through so much suffering just for that kind of abstract reason."

Nadeko: "And, even worse was the fact that I realized that, despite my talent, I had limits to what I could create. So, my path started to seem a lot less noble than it first appeared. I was no longer doing it to better myself, nor was I doing it because I really liked doing it – but I was doing it because it was something that I couldn't escape. Something irreplaceable."

Nadeko: "Knowing this – you came here to provide me with an easy way out. To throw away my pride and ego – and to be content with merely existing. Happily – like Senjougahara and Araragi. To limit my reach for the horizon – to recognize my own limits. To accept defeat when I know I can't win."

Nadeko: "So, with all that said – shouldn't you know what answer to expect?"

Kaiki smiled slightly. He closed the briefcase and stood up.

Kaiki: "I told you a long time ago – I hate irreplaceable things. I love money because it can be substituted."

Nadeko: "In other words, you hate me."

Kaiki: "In a way, yes."

Nadeko: "I hate you too, because I love myself. In the end, I fell for your scam, and I've suffered for years because of that scam. I should have remained a goddess and enjoyed life."

Nadeko smiled. Tears came to her eyes.

Nadeko: "Thank you for letting me hate you."

In the end, she had solved nothing.
All of her problems remained.
Her life remained to be surmounted.

But, there was joy in being taken to places you had never seen before.
There was joy in receiving a rare visitor.
There was joy in seeing the sea and its horizon.
There was joy in getting in touch with old acquaintances.
There was joy in taking a break from things.

And, there was also joy in knowing…
That:
She turned to him and said

One last thing.
To her number one critic and fan.

"And thanks… for reading!"

THE END