So after figuring out my retarded coding problem, Sinisterbug and I have finally got the next little bit of this madness ready for your reading pleasure. Remember there is het in this story so, fair warning. Enjoy! xD
Chapter 3
Zoro had Sanji down to a T. He knew the cook's moods like he knew his own. Even on the rare occasion he was wrong, it was almost natural to correct himself once he'd figured out that no, Sanji wasn't going to be this or that today, he was going to be something else instead. Proceed as usual from there. Lather, rinse, repeat.
It didn't look that way on the outside. Anyone else might have suspected Zoro of being ignorant of how the chef operated, if only because of how often the swordsman managed to push all of Sanji's no-no buttons. But anyone else didn't realize that Zoro did it purposely.
If Zoro didn't understand Sanji so thoroughly, and had no interest in pestering Sanji whenever it suited his whim, the two probably would have gotten on much better. But the swordsman wasn't interested in being Sanji's pal.
At the moment, however, it wasn't particularly important what Zoro did - or did not - want from the chef. Even if he knew, he wouldn't know how to go about getting it, because for the past three days, Sanji had been different.
Well, Zoro felt a better word would have been closer to 'psychotic', but the semantics weren't important.
He hadn't been particularly violent, just… oddly distracted. Zoro would, at random times, realize the shit-cook was looking at him - intently. And what was worse, the chef wouldn't look away if Zoro looked right back at him. It was as if Sanji didn't register that Zoro had caught him staring.
After that, who knew? It was different every time. The first time Sanji seemed to be highly confused. He shook his head at the swordsman and then walked away. The next time he flared his nostrils, sneered, and again, walked away.
The next time it had happened, they were in the kitchen together and the chef had a cup of coffee in his hand. He stared for a few moments before the coffee cup suddenly shattered in his grip. The cook didn't seem to realize anything unusual had happened and, again, he shook his head and walked away.
It only got worse from there. Recently he'd begun muttering things. Usually incomprehensible, but once or twice Zoro heard him say, "A cold day in hell…" and "No. No, no, no."
Usually Zoro would confront such weird behavior, but something just didn't seem right. The chef was off-kilter, and Sanji was dangerous on his normal days. He'd be pushing it to think he'd come out of a fight with psycho-chef unscathed. Not that the swordsman didn't like a challenge, but it was similar to picking a fight with a rabid dog. There was no point and no gain.
On the fourth day, Zoro expected more of the same, but it was like none of it had ever happened. The chef was back to his old snarky, shitty self. And lest he revert back to his abnormal state, Zoro decided to let it slide, writing it off as maybe being oversexed after leaving Abby's. Who knew, maybe one of the girls had slipped him something. Whatever it was, it was too much trouble for Zoro to deal with.
He'd fully expected to go back to having their sexual needs tended to separately – go at separate times, not discuss it, pretend the other one didn't exist in a sexual realm, and move on. But when Sanji kept going ahead on his shopping trips to scope out locations whenever they docked, and then came back with reservations made for the both of them, the swordsman didn't object.
Outside of that, nothing really changed. Mostly. Aside from the fact that details from their brothel excursions often carried over into their arguments and fights, and usually just reverted to more shows of one-upmanship.
So when they finally reached Lily Bloom Island a month after Abby's, they both expected the usual. Sanji went ahead with Franky and Nami to do some shopping, and Zoro stayed behind with the rest of the crew to haul out old crates so they'd be ready for the supplies when Sanji got back. It was raining heavily, and for a place named Lily Bloom Island, Zoro couldn't see anything remotely pleasant or floral about it. It looked scummy and shady, at least from the Sunny. The buildings looked run down, and the people passing by on the dock all looked to be of questionable character. This wasn't the town to find a good brothel. At best, you might find a bar where the risk of getting stabbed was considerably lower than getting shot.
When the chef returned looking disgusted and soaked, Zoro knew they probably weren't getting any at this island.
As soon as they were alone, with the necessaries packed away and dinner served, Sanji sat down across the table from the swordsman, looking somewhat hesitant.
"What."
The chef rubbed the back of his neck and pulled out a cigarette.
"There's only one place, and it's fucking expensive."
"So? I wouldn't touch a girl from this shitty place anyway."
"Oi," Sanji snapped in warning. "I already made a reservation."
"What?"
"I felt bad. There were only two decent girls, and it looked like they hadn't gotten any business in months, so I booked them."
"It was expensive because you looked like you could pay it, showing up in a shithole wearing a suit. They can't possibly be expensive and run their business on this island at the same time. You got played, and now you want me to pay for your dumb-ass mistake."
"It's better than nothing, you ungrateful asshole. I got soaked trying to find a brothel in this dump."
Zoro bit back the rest of his argument as Nami came in.
"Well, they pretty much cleaned us out, so I can only give you guys a quarter of your allowance." She set two bags of beli on the table, a scowl planted firmly on her face. "I swear to God, I will never step foot on this island again. Their products are a quarter of the quality for four times the cost. We got ripped. And Franky got a cold out there walking around in the rain, so you're on midnight watch tonight Zoro."
She turned and left.
Sanji sent a warning kick at Zoro under the table as the pissed off swordsman got up to go after her and argue.
"What the fuck?"
"It doesn't matter if you're on watch tonight now or not, because now we don't have enough money to pay."
Zoro sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I hate this fucking place."
Sanji chewed on the end of his cigarette - an indication that he was pouting, but was too polite to say anything that could be misconstrued as negative towards his Nami-swan.
The swordsman thought for a moment, an idea forming in his head and his stomach twisting excitedly along with it.
"Come on," he said abruptly, and stood up.
"What?"
"Do you want to get laid or not? Bring your money and let's go."
***
Zoro's plan went so well, he half suspected that some higher power he didn't believe in had been involved.
Sanji did everything short of refusing to go to get the swordsman to tell him his plan, but Zoro kept walking in the cold rain and remained silent. When they got inside, the… madam? Sir? The owner of the establishment rushed forward and put his/her arm around Sanji and immediately began apologizing.
"I'm so glad you're here, Mr. Sanji. I do apologize, but the second girl you booked was already scheduled for this evening, but it wasn't in the schedule. I would be happy to offer you a discount on the first girl-"
"No business in months, eh?" Zoro muttered sourly under his breath. Sanji shot him a nasty look.
"We'll just take the one girl," the swordsman informed the flurried owner, who then (politely) excused himself to fetch her and left them to stand in the middle of the entrance.
"Excuse me? What do you mean, we'll just take the one girl? I'm not waiting around out here while you do your business-"
"Who says you're going to wait out here?" Zoro raised his eyebrow at the chef nonchalantly.
Sanji gaped, then opened and closed his mouth several times. "You- what? I'm not-"
"Good evening, gentlemen, my name is Bianca. Why don't you follow me and we'll get you out of those wet clothes and into something a little more comfortable?"
Bianca – a midheight, curvy girl with long, strawberry blonde hair – smiled at them from the hallway, and beckoned them forward with one manicured finger. She wore… well, even Sanji with his various experiences couldn't quite figure out what she was wearing. It looked like it might have once been a black swimsuit but, the only thing left of it were two strips of fabric that came down over her breasts, and met in the middle where the bottom part of the bikini was. The bottom piece was edged with rhinestones, and straps of black fabric criss-crossed twice down each leg before ending in a ridiculously high pair of heels.
It was complicated and attractive to look at, but at the same time, spoke volumes about the kind of place this was.
Zoro was pleased with it if only for the fact that it had distracted Sanji long enough to at least get them both down the hall with Bianca and into a bedroom.
***
Sanji momentarily dismissed everything from his mind except the woman in front of him. Those tiny strips of fabric might just as well not have been there. They were just begging to be removed. And when she turned around... he got to watch her walk all the way down the hall, swishing her hips in a way that didn't leave much room in his mind for anything else.
The chef wasn't jerked back into reality until the door was shut behind him, and suddenly Bianca, whom he had been about to pull into his arms, was suddenly in Zoro's arms. Zoro's shirtless arms. When the hell had he taken it off and why the hell was he still here?
Now he was kissing her. Sanji thought that was rather ballsy. Just scooping her up like that, regardless of the fact that the chef was still standing there. And pretty Bianca was running her hands down his stomach and fiddling with... his pants...
Sanji wasn't demure, by any means, but it did take him a moment to register that yes, Zoro did intend for him to stay in the room while business was being conducted.
The swordsman shot Sanji a look – a smug, infuriating smile that said, 'Lookey what I'm doing' – and not only did it make the chef want to kick Zoro's ass, but it made his stomach muscles clench in a way that he wasn't used to them clenching in association with a man, let alone Zoro. Something about the look in his eyes, the fact that he could see the marimo's evil smile under that kiss…
Bianca stepped back and turned to Sanji.
"So, do you usually just watch, or…" she feigned a pouty look, "am I not your kinda girl?"
Sanji only needed that much encouragement before he told himself to just fuck it all and go with it. He threw Zoro a 'watch this' look, pulled off his jacket and yanked at his tie.
***
There was too much competition between the two men for there to have been any room for awkwardness or hesitation. Needless to say, Bianca probably had no idea what she'd gotten herself into, but she made no complaints as Sanji's hand squeezed her thigh and he kissed at her neck, thrusting leisurely into her and coaxing her down from her orgasm. Her knees trembled despite the fact that Zoro was supporting her from behind, his large arms wrapped around her waist firmly, a hand frequently sliding up her stomach to cup her breasts and tease at her nipples.
She let her head fall back on the swordsman's shoulder, and shuddered as Zoro ran his tongue down one side of her neck while Sanji did the same on the other side.
"Mmm… I don't believe you two when you say you don't do this all the time. You're both so… in sync," she sighed, her voice saturated with lust.
Not for the first time that evening, black eyes met blue for just a brief moment, then pretended it hadn't happened.
***
Zoro left first, since he needed to get back to the ship. They'd spent four hours with Bianca, but Sanji was going to stay the night since the owner insisted they accept a free overnight stay to make up for his mistake.
The chef was standing at the window, looking at the moon in the night sky and smoking a cigarette. If there wasn't a window in the room, he would usually step outside to smoke, but if windows were handy, and the ladies didn't mind, he would just relax on the sill and enjoy a leisurely smoke while his nerves sang happily from nicotine and good sex.
Tonight, his nerves were definitely singing, but there was a new melody in his veins, and he couldn't figure out if he was enjoying it or not.
"You're a man with a lot on your mind," Bianca said, gazing up at the chef from the bed. She was wrapped in a sheet, lying on her belly and looking like the most beautiful thing Sanji could think of at the moment.
Sanji exhaled and smoke wafted out the window. He smiled and flicked the cigarette out the window. "I've got you on my mind which, understandably, keeps a man like me quite preoccupied." He walked over to the bed and climbed back in, pulling the sheet away and placing kisses up her spine. She sighed happily and let Sanji settle himself on top of her, molding herself to his form.
"Funny, because I was sure it was him on your mind," she said, her accusation not unhappy in the least.
Sanji snorted, but couldn't come up with anything to say. She was right, but he was still trying to work out what had just happened himself.
"I don't judge, you know. I think it's-"
Sanji sat up and gently but firmly flipped the redhead onto her back. He took her wrists in his hands and pinned her hands above her head. He kissed her deeply and gently moved his knee between hers, spreading her legs and settling himself in between. He pulled back and said, "You seem to have gotten the wrong idea, my lady." He freed one hand by taking both of her wrists in his right, while his other drifted down to cup her face. "Why would I be thinking about him when I have the most beautiful woman in the world-" he silently apologized to her because, well, Nami-san, "-lying beneath me?"
He didn't give her a chance to answer.
****
He knew he could count on the swordsman not to make a big deal about it, since the jerk hadn't blinked an eye at the situation himself. The question was, could he count on himself not to make a big deal about it?
What if it happened again? Why had it happened at all? Was this supposed to be normal? Or just Zoro's approximation of normal?
On the other hand, it wasn't exactly Sanji's first time doing something along those lines. But last time it had been him and another busboy in a dark closet with a passing customer. Two hand jobs and lots of eyes-squeezed-too-tight-to-see later, they were back in the kitchen and pretending it hadn't happened.
This thing with Zoro had definitely not been like that. They had quite clearly had sex with the same woman, at the same time, and neither of them hid from it. Not at the time, anyway.
The chef rubbed the bridge of his nose and set his cup of coffee down. In what realm of the universe was this okay? And why, why was it that the first thing he remembered about that night was always the moment when Zoro's hand accidentally brushed his? There was a list – a list for God's sake - of things he thought of about that night before he even began to remember that he'd had sex with Bianca.
Gazes joining briefly, knees, thighs, hands, arms accidentally making contact. And God, realizing for the first time that he was tasting more of Zoro on Bianca than of Bianca herself.
It was as though Zoro had set a trail on the woman's skin, and before he'd realized it, Sanji found himself following that trail faithfully. Sanji didn't need cues from the man, that much he knew. But nonetheless, he found himself drawn to the places Zoro had touched her.
He shook his head and abandoned his now cold cup of coffee to begin making lunch.
****
This was not Good. This was in no way, in any approximation even close to Good. This was so far into the realm of Bad, that Zoro was worried he might actually have a meltdown. Not a meltdown in the sense that he would fall apart and have to go off in a corner and cry somewhere, but definitely in the sense that he would be so distracted during a fight that he might hurt himself or accidentally stab one of his shipmates' eyes out because of his sheer lack of concentration. In Zoro's book, if something was hindering his concentration, there were really only two solutions: Remove himself from the distraction, or Kill It.
Unfortunately, he knew he couldn't kill Sanji, and what was worse, even though the cook was at the core of his distress, Zoro found that he really didn't want to.
The last few towns the Sunny had made port, Zoro and Sanji had gone through their routine with the practiced ease of a well-oiled machine. They had found the perfect way to get the most bang for their buck, (Sanji, by the way, had found that term ludicrously funny) and the two had gotten the evening's happenings down to a science.
In the early morning and afternoon, while the crew shopped, Sanji and Zoro usually steered clear of each other until Nami released everyone for their free time. Zoro would always volunteer for the night watch, making it less suspicious when he helped Sanji put away the new supplies. When the cook was satisfied, the two would clean up and go into town together. Sanji insisted on this because he refused to waste precious sexing time looking through mazes of backstreets for a lost swordsman, and Zoro had to be clean. Period.
After finding a place, Zoro and Sanji would pool their money together and buy a single room. Now that they were way past their initial awkwardness, or—though they tried not to think about it—lack of initial awkwardness, they finally had established a good 'working relationship' (another term Sanji thought was hilarious). It saved them loads of money, and it just seemed obvious to share. They had also found through their experience that together, they were quite a phenomenon. Before his arrangement with Sanji, Zoro would have never thought that every woman in existence fantasized about two men together, but apparently that's how it was. The cook had recoiled at the thought in the beginning, but when he saw how hot it made the girls, he started to ease up about the subject slightly, even if he never came close to acting on it.
With this game they played, they would select a single girl, or sometimes two together, but usually by the end of the evening, their room would have acquired several more. Since most places had you pay up front, the extra company was unplanned and therefore free.
After Zoro was satisfied, he would bid the ladies farewell, and head back to the ship as best he could for his watch. Sanji would return in the morning to make breakfast, and life would return to the Strawhat's version of normal. Clean, easy, and if anyone on the ship suspected something fishy, they weren't saying anything.
Unfortunately though, for Zoro, life was not returning to normal in the mornings anymore. The swordsman had started to catch himself watching the cook at various times of the day. He stared at Sanji's back as he prepared meals, watched him as he smoked on the deck in the evenings, and the worst part of it was, he really didn't notice he was doing it until he had been doing it for an insanely long period of time. He knew someone on the ship was inevitably going to notice and call him out on it, so Zoro made himself scarce as often as possible.
Zoro knew he was in trouble when he found himself fantasizing blatantly about Sanji—without a girl in the mix—in the middle of the fucking day, in a populated area. It was a typical afternoon just after lunch, and Zoro was helping the cook wash the dishes as usual. The girls sat behind them at the table, drinking coffee and talking to Chopper, when suddenly Zoro had a perfectly clear image of an unrestrained, naked, violent Sanji wreaking havoc in his head. It was so unexpected that Zoro almost dropped the plate he was drying.
He froze, not so much worried about the fact that he was fantasizing about Sanji (it was actually happening quite often), but definitely worried his fantasy was so vivid, that if the cook turned to look at him at that moment, he would be able to read exactly what Zoro was imagining and kill him right there on the spot.
Sweat started to collect on the swordsman's brow as the images in his head became more explicit and fantastically erotic. Zoro could do nothing but stand in front of the sink and watch Sanji's hands as they moved expertly through the soapy water and over the smooth ceramic. The cook turned to the girls suddenly and chuckled in response to Nami's teasing. Zoro shivered as Sanji's laugh tickled up his spine and shifted uncomfortably as certain parts of his anatomy showed their appreciation for the cook's silky baritone.
Placing the plate on the drying rack, Zoro quickly wiped his hands on the dish towel and moved away from the sink. Sanji turned to him with his eyes flashing a warning of a painful death and tried to trip him with his foot.
"Hey," he growled, "where the hell do you think you're going? We're not done yet. These dishes aren't gonna dry themselves."
Zoro stopped backing away, his panic monetarily forgotten as he realized the ludicrousness of Sanji's statement.
"Are you retarded?" he replied. "Yes they will."
Sanji carefully set the plate back in the water and grabbed the dish towel. "Not the fucking point, Marimo. Everybody on the ship has duties—not including you lovely ladies." The cook turned and flashed a smile at Nami and Robin. They smiled back and Robin winked shamelessly.
"So don't think for a freaking second that you-"
Zoro cut him off before he could go into a rant. "I'm not trying to get out of anything, I just need a minute. I'll be right back."
Chopper stood and waved his hooves frantically. "Zoro! You're not feeling sick are you!?"
Zoro shook his head. "No, no, Chopper, I'm fine. You guys are making a bigger deal out of this than needs be. Just give me a few minutes and I'll come back. I'll even wash the dishes if it keeps your panties from bunching, cook."
Sanji made a face. He seemed to be stuck somewhere between anger, annoyance, and curiosity, but Zoro figured he was making that last part up. The cook pulled out a fresh cigarette and slipped it between his teeth.
"Fine, whatever," he mumbled. "Forget the fucking dishes. Go bang your head against a wall, or meditate or whatever it is you do." With that he lit his smoke and turned back to the sink.
Zoro took the chance and turned towards the door. He pulled it open roughly, and stepped out onto the deck. He heard Robin's cool voice as he was closing it behind him, and paused a moment to listen.
"You are very forgiving today, Cook-san."
"Yeah, well," Sanji replied. His voice was smooth and cordial once again, and Zoro hated how much that irritated him. "Guy's probably itching like crazy. We haven't had a battle in several weeks. And besides, I'm used to doing this by myself anyway."
Zoro didn't want to hear the girl's reply, so he closed the door quietly and made his way to the crow's nest. He figured he would lift some weights, or maybe do a couple thousand push-ups to clear his head.
***
Alone time for head-clearing was not to be however as Sanji had other plans. When the cook climbed the railing and slipped into the makeshift gym, Zoro almost groaned aloud. He ignored the cook as best he could and continued lifting. He forced himself to concentrate on the pleasant burn of his muscles, and the feel of the sweat that trickled down the back of his neck.
Sanji lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall. He said nothing for a long time, just watching Zoro work out. It started to make the swordsman's skin crawl, but the cook finally spoke before it got too bad.
"I know why you're acting like you got a stick up your ass," Sanji said nonchalantly.
Doubt it. Zoro thought. "Oh yeah?"
"It's been like three weeks since we've hit land." Sanji took a long drag on his smoke and pushed off the wall, starting to slowly pace the room. "You're sexually frustrated."
You really have no idea. "Maybe you are."
Sanji snorted and slipped a toe underneath the bar of one of Zoro's twelve-hundred pound weights. The cook flexed his heel, and the barbell lifted off the ground as if weighing nothing.
"Don't think I can't see it. And you're right, I'm feeling it too, but that's why it's so obvious to me." Sanji kicked gently, and juggled the bar from one foot to the other. "Don't be such an ass when I'm coming here to try and help you out."
Zoro almost dropped the weights. Help him out? What the hell was he saying? They were talking about sexual frustration for crying out loud!
"Right," Zoro grunted. "You're going to help me with my sexual frustration. How exactly?" Zoro almost chuckled when he thought exactly how Sanji could help him out, but then quickly had to push another explicit image out of his head.
Sanji's response was unexpected, but it really shouldn't have been. The cook tossed the barbell into the air, pivoted on his opposite foot, and with a devastating side kick, sent the weight hurling in Zoro's direction. The swordsman moved just in time, catching the bar with his own, and sent it zooming back to Sanji like a crazy game of baseball.
Zoro grinned. It figured the cook's first remedy for frustration would be a fight, but damn, he was right. It felt good. They hadn't had a real fight in more than a month, and now that they were getting into it, Zoro realized he had missed it. There was only so much weight lifting and meditation he could do. The real training was putting his skills to use, and Sanji was the only crew member on board besides Luffy he could trust to fight him seriously. Plus, Sanji could meet him with enough skill that the swordsman could go all out and not worry about killing him accidentally.
Sanji side-stepped, sucking nonchalantly on his cigarette as the bar sailed passed him. The weight crashed through the wall of the crow's nest, sending splinters of wood in all directions. The cook ignored the mess and lifted another large weight with the toe of his shoe. Zoro set his bar on the ground and held up his hands, ready to catch the next thing Sanji sent his way.
The cook surprised him. The blond side-kicked the bar like the first, but then fluidly lowered himself to the ground and swept a leg around, catching another and sending it sailing across the floor. Zoro caught the first, and jumped just in time for the second to whoosh by and explode out the wall behind him.
Zoro chuckled. "Franky's gonna be pissed."
"Let him be pissed," Sanji replied.
Zoro turned to the side, taking a practice swing with the thousand pound barbell. "You're going diving for my weights after this."
"Only if you beat me."
Zoro swung. Sanji ducked. A grunt, another crash, and then there were three holes in the crow's nest wall. Zoro took a moment to survey the damage and grinned.
"This is gonna come out of our allowance."
"Fuck it." Sanji snorted. "It's worth it."
He was absolutely right. Zoro licked his lips, set his weight against the wall and moved across the small space. He plucked his swords up from where they had been watching, and slipped Sandai Kitetsu and Shuusui into place under his haramaki. He turned to the cook and pulled Wadō from her saya slowly.
Sanji's grin was maniacal, as Zoro closed the space between them. He flipped back, sliding out through the hole the first weight had made, and stood arrogantly on the edges of splintered wood.
"Hell yeah. Now we're talking, Marimo."
Zoro started as Sanji disappeared. He had dropped to the deck from the crow's nest? That was a fall of, what? Seventy? Ninety feet? There was no way the cook could take that—superhuman, frog-legged bastard or not.
The swordsman leaned out the hole and looked down expecting to see Sanji below and at least a little splattered, but he saw nothing. From the supply room door, Usopp and Chopper were looking up at him with googily eyes. Zoro made a face and growled. "What?"
"U-uh…" Usopp stammered. "What are you guys doing?"
Zoro rolled his eyes. "What does it look like? We're training."
The words had barely left Zoro's mouth before a long, skinny leg swung up from below, catching the swordsman under his jaw. Zoro grunted. The pain from his teeth clashing together shot through his head and all the way down his spine. He felt himself falling, but reached out at the last moment and caught a rung of the ladder.
Sanji didn't give him a chance to recover and kicked out beneath him immediately. Zoro blocked with the flat of his blade and held the cook in a deadlock of polished steel and loafers.
Below, Chopper turned to Usopp and whimpered softly. "What should we do, Usopp?"
Usopp, his eyes still locked on their warring shipmates, shrugged hopelessly. "We can't really do anything but pray they don't kill each other, and help clean up afterwards."
Chopper squealed as Zoro finally hit the deck, Sanji right on his heels. The little reindeer held the brim of his hat in his small hooves as a flurry of flashing swords and long, black-clad legs blew past him. He should be used to Zoro and Sanji's fights by now, but for some reason, the energy in the air was so intense Chopper couldn't sit back and ignore it. There were going to be serious injuries this time, he knew it for sure.
Zoro had drawn Shuusui, and now he fought with two blades against the onslaught of Sanji's devastating attacks. The swordsman felt revitalized. This was as satisfying—if not more so, but Zoro wasn't ready to admit that even to himself yet—than several hours with a good woman. Five minutes of 'training' with the cook and Zoro felt better than he had in weeks.
The swordsman pushed and Sanji went flying backwards. The cook hit the solid wood of the galley wall, and blood flew from between his lips. "Shit!" he spat, and righted himself. Zoro was aware that his side was on fire, and his vision was a little blurred still from the kick to his jaw, but he met Sanji's next attack head on. He planned to get the cook in another deadlock and use the skinny blond's momentum against him. He could toss Sanji overboard easily since his back was against the railing. It would just take a twist of his hips and-
Bam. Before Zoro could finish the thought, his world was upside down and he swore he could smell burnt hair. He was too disoriented to immediately right himself before he felt fire – literally - burning at his ribcage and the impact of what he was sure qualified as a cheap shot. His plans to send the chef swimming were reversed as he crashed through wood and went sailing over the side of the Thousand Sunny. He was maybe a foot from the water when his body was violently yanked backwards, a strong, rubbery arm wrapped tightly around his leg.
All he could do at this point was take a deep breath and brace for the impact of being flung back into the Sunny.
More wood splintered and the crash wasn't painful, really, but all the hollering from Franky and his captain was adding a certain element of bedlam to the situation he could have otherwise done without. He scrambled out of the debris his re-entry had caused and spun around wildly, trying to locate the flash of blond he was looking for.
Sanji was certainly not one to hide himself, but he may or may not have climbed up and crouched behind the kitchen chimney in order to launch over the side in a surprise attack. He jumped into a perfect flip, intending to catch Zoro in an upside down kick, but either Zoro had known he was there all along or he had impossible reflexes – though if Sanji had to guess, it was a mix of both – because all it took was for the swordsman to reach out and snatch his ankle and bringing him crashing down to the floor on his back. More blood and coughing, and the atmosphere immediately went from stress relief to a primal brawl as the two snarled at each other and struggled to get their footing back while inflicting as much damage on each other as possible.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!"
Franky grabbed Zoro by the shirt and yanked him off Sanji while Luffy stretched his arms several times around the struggling chef.
Having been pulled away, Zoro could now see where the burning had come from – Sanji's leg. The pant leg had burned all the way up to the knee, and the place where the chef had kicked Zoro in the rib was completely devoid of material, scorch marks being the only evidence.
Nami, Chopper and Franky were all hollering simultaneously, but Sanji and Zoro could hear over their angry voices the sound of their captain laughing hysterically. They looked at each other and grinned.
***
"Never, not in a million years."
"Why the fuck not?! Look at her rack, Marimo! She's got the body of a Goddess! Why would you not hit that?"
"Look at her teeth, cook."
Sanji was silent for a moment, watching the tall brunette buying oranges about thirty yards away. He finally nodded when he saw gaps and stains of yellow and brown, and turned back to his coffee.
"Yeah, okay, fine. I hadn't noticed her teeth before."
The two shipmates sat at a corner café waiting for Nami to return from her excursion. She had taken Robin by the hand in the middle of their shopping and told Sanji and Zoro to 'Sit here and don't move a muscle until we get back'. Sanji had felt a little abandoned, but if Nami was off having a good time with Robin… who was he to interrupt girl time? A flash of the lovely ladies trying on underwear together crossed his mind briefly, but he quickly pushed it out of his head to stay a hemorrhaging nosebleed.
Zoro had grumbled in the beginning, but when Sanji had bought him an ale, and told him to watch for beautiful women, the swordsman had taken that as a challenge and turned Sanji's suggestion into something competitive.
"Got one," Zoro said quietly.
Sanji swallowed, and set his cup down carefully. "Where?"
"Your three o'clock… blue dress… hair in braids." Zoro smiled smugly and took a swig from his mug.
Sanji leaned back, grabbed his pack, and pulled out a cigarette. He tapped it nonchalantly on the back of his hand and reached for his lighter. He glanced quickly at his three o'clock and took in the beautiful blonde girl standing in front of the jewelry shop. His heart melted instantly.
"Oh… beautiful rose…" he murmured. "Where have you been all my life?"
He heard Zoro snicker from across the table and turned to glare at his shipmate, his buzz from seeing the beautiful girl gone.
"What?" he growled. "I like women. I love women. I love them in all shapes and sizes, colors and whatever else."
Zoro shook his head. "This is the easiest game I've ever played."
Sanji sat forward, lighting his cigarette. He glanced around the busy street, determination hardening his features. "Fine. Hold on. I'll find one that'll knock your socks off."
"Doubt it," Zoro grunted.
Sanji spotted and pointed out a small girl with dark skin and black hair. Her features were beautifully feminine and her eyes were a striking shade of green.
Zoro, however, just shrugged his shoulders.
"Gah!" Sanji almost burst into tears. "I've pointed out six or seven girls most men would donate a limb just to talk to! Where the hell are your standards?"
Zoro shrugged again and hid his smirk behind his mug. "Her hair is too dark for her skin. She'd look better if it was blonde."
Sanji threw up his hands and leaned back in his chair. "Blonde… There's more to women than blonde hair…" He took a drag and blew out slowly. "…Like red hair."
Zoro grunted again. "You're just saying that 'cause Nami has red hair."
"No." Sanji twirled his coffee mug slowly in his fingers. "One of the reasons I love Nami is because she's a redhead."
"I thought you said you liked all shapes and sizes and bla bla bla."
Sanji nodded, taking a sip. "I do. But I also have a type."
Zoro quirked an eyebrow at him, and the glint in his eyes made butterflies take flight in Sanji's gut. There was some kind of underlying conversation going on, but the cook had not been given a clue as to what it was. Things between him and Zoro had been different lately, for obvious reasons, but that still didn't explain the swordsman's extra strange behavior the last week.
"Hm…" Sanji took another sip of his coffee. "I like red hair, and light skin. I like them small and thin- frail even. I like sweet more than sassy, and old fashioned." He finished his lie with a drag on his smoke, hoping the swordsman couldn't see through it. He had, after all, always been an excellent liar.
Zoro frowned, confusion stretching across his face. "Frail? You like girls that are small and frail?"
Sanji nodded.
"Why?" Zoro asked.
Sanji crossed one leg over the other. He wasn't sure why he was doing this, but he was getting exactly the reaction he had figured he would get.
"I want my girl to depend on me."
Sanji could see Zoro's demeanor was slowly giving way to annoyance. "You want someone weak… that you can't train with?"
Sanji laughed. "A wife is a wife, Marimo. She's not a crewmate. I wouldn't do things like train and fight with her."
The swordsman scratched at his jaw in frustration and Sanji found it fascinating that this was bothering him so much.
"Wouldn't that be…" Zoro murmured, looked down at the cobblestones at their feet, "I don't know… boring?"
Sanji took a long drag from his cigarette and then snuffed it out in the little ashtray on the table. "Well, what do you want from a woman?"
Zoro laced his fingers together behind his head. His eyes looked far away as he sat thinking. "Strong; a good fighter... I'd want her to hold her own so I could trust her to have my back… Someone that would stand by me as I work for my goal…"
Sanji grinned and leaned forward. "You're a goddamned romantic, Marimo."
Zoro glared at him. "I am not."
"Yes, you fucking are," Sanji chuckled and finished off the rest of his coffee.
Zoro rolled his eyes and looked away again. "Blonde," he said simply. "Blond and light eyes."
Sanji sat forward again, resting his elbows on the tabletop. "I can't believe it!" He exclaimed. "Roronoa Fucking Zoro has actually thought about the person he wants to marry! Better check the temperature, because Hell is about to freeze over!"
"Shut the fuck up," Zoro growled. "I haven't really thought about it. This was just what came to my mind first when you asked." He dropped his arms and grabbed his mug. "At least I'm not fucking boring and retarded. I thought you'd be a little more…"
Sanji waited. "What? A little more what?"
Zoro shook his head and finished off his ale. "It's just not what I expected from you, cook."
Sanji sat for a few minutes in complete silence. The fact that Zoro had just told him more about himself that he had probably told anyone else ever, thrilled him. He wanted to scream it from the rooftops like it was a victory he had over the entire world. Impenetrable Roronoa Zoro had just opened up to him and told him something intimate about himself without Sanji having to torture him with sharp things.
"Sanji! Zoro!" Someone called from down the street.
Both men turned towards the voice and saw Robin and Nami making their way back through the throng of shoppers. Each had two or three bags under their arms, no doubt filled with sweet-smelling girl things, and lacy garments that Sanji would never had the privilege of seeing. The cook's heart broke a little at that, but he managed to stand and wave cheerfully.
"Phew!" Nami said as the girls reached them and dropped their bags at Sanji's feet. "These are heavy. Would you mind carrying them for us, Sanji-kun?"
"Of course!" Sanji cried happily. "Anything for my precious Nami-swan and Robin-chwan!"
Nami smiled sweetly before turning around and heading towards the dry goods stands. Their shopping would now continue. Sanji grabbed a few of the bags and shoved them in Zoro's direction.
The swordsman looked at Sanji incredulously, and shook his head. "Hell no. You carry them. I'm gonna have to carry all the crates of potatoes and fruits and other shit you're gonna buy."
Sanji made a face, but collected all the bags and started after the girls.
Two hours later, when the four were heading back to the ship, Sanji glanced over at Zoro's displeased look and sighed. He moved closer to the other man and said quietly under his breath.
"Hey, I was just kidding before you know. That superior look you had when we were checking out girls was annoying and I wanted to piss you off."
Zoro gave him a sideways glance, but quickly his attention was back on the road. "Kidding about what?"
Sanji turned and watched Robin and Nami's backs as they led the way. "About what kind of woman I'm looking for…" He lowered his voice. "I love Nami because she's strong, and she's brave as well as beautiful. Robin too. I could never be with someone that I'd have to protect every second."
He watched as Zoro's features softened, and the swordsman's step actually became a little lighter.
"She doesn't have to be a fighter," Sanji continued, "but she should be able to kick at least a little ass… otherwise, it would just be… boring."
Zoro snorted, and Sanji moved away. He had only seen it for maybe a half a second, but the cook was sure he saw the ghost of a smile on the swordsman's face before he caught up to the girls.
TBC