Chapter 3

"Why do you read those things?"

James and my relationship had moved along quite steadily since our first kiss. I had seen him nearly every day since. We went for walks, or we went to the park, or we sat on our bench. Some days, like today, he would come and see me while I worked in the shop. I had been doing my usual trick of reading through the magazines and papers, when business was slow, to keep myself entertained. I had been leafing through one of the gossip magazines when he walked in.

"It passes the time." I smiled at him and leant in for a kiss. He obliged me and gave another concerned look down at the magazine. "It's a bit of fun, James. It's harmless."

"I bet those people don't think so," he said, pointing at some of the actresses in the article I had been reading. "You know they make these stories up?"

"Well there must be some truth in them," I reasoned.

"No," he said firmly. "They make them up. Complete rubbish."

"Ok, well I'll put it away," I said, slowly folding the magazine up and putting it under the counter. "Look it's gone." I held up my empty hands. "Like magic."

He flinched and then looked at me with an even more serious face.

"Fred's gone."

"Gone? Gone where?"

"Home. Back to London. He's gone."

I looked at him dumbstruck.

"He had to go Laura, he has to start work for his dad," James tried to explain.

"Did he even say goodbye to her?"

Fred had continued to see Kathryn, not as frequently as James came to see me, but enough. I had told Kathryn about James' warning of course, but it didn't matter, she had fallen for him as hard as sixteen year old girls tend to do.

"I don't think so."

A silence fell between us.

"Look," said James. "It wasn't meant to be any great love affair. It was just a silly summer fling. Laura! LAURA!"

I had turned away from him and shut myself in the stock room.

"Laura I didn't mean that about us!" he called through the door. "It's just, I know Fred. I always knew he would be here for a few weeks, have a good time and then he would leave to start working for his dad. I did warn you! Don't punish me for my bloody cousin!"

"I always knew he was bad news," I spat, storming out of the store and jabbing my index finger into James' chest.

"He's not bad news, Laura," James tried to placate me. "He's just… He's a…"

"He's a what?" I snapped.

"He's a bloke."

"That's no excuse! He can't come here, lead on my friend and then just… leave."

We both knew I was no longer talking about Fred. It was now into August and I knew that James would be leaving to go back to school in September.

"I'm still here," said James.

"For how long?"

"A week," he replied honestly. "Maybe two."

"Ok," I said, taking a breath. "The way I see it we have two options. You can either walk out of here right now, I'll go home and Kathryn and I can have a good cry together tonight, and forget the two of you tomorrow." It was unlikely to be that quick, but I didn't need him to know that. "Or you can wait here until closing, walk me home and we will make the most of it until you have to leave. Your decision."

"I'll wait," he replied almost immediately.

I smiled. I knew it was the stupid decision but I smiled.

James waited until the end of shift and then walked me home, holding my hand like he always did. The heaviness of our previous conversation had lifted and we were chatting easily like usual.

"What are you going to tell Kathryn?" he asked as we turned into my street.

I shrugged.

"Do you want me to tell her?" he offered.

"No James," I laughed. "Thanks, but that would be like putting you in front of a firing squad."

"You'd like to keep me around a bit longer then?" he smirked, just as we walked through my front gate.

"You know I would," I said quietly. He paused, realising what he'd said. I walked on and put my key in the front door, trying to push past the moment. That's what we had agreed wasn't it? Make the most of it? Don't mention his imminent departure?

"Laura, I have no choice." I turned to find him standing resolutely on my path, staring at me.

"I know."

"Two weeks," he said, reaching out for my hand.

"Two weeks," I replied, giving it to him. He pulled me towards him, leaning his face down to mine, just as the door opened behind us.

"Hello?" my mum asked, quizzically looking at my keys still left hanging in the door.

James jumped back as I quickly dropped his hand.

"Hi… Mum…" As close as I was to my mother and with as much time as I had been spending with James, I had yet to actually mention him to her.

"Hello," she said again, looking straight past me to James, a slight smirk on her lips.

"Mum this is… James," I turned slightly so I could see his frozen expression out of the corner of my eye.

"You must be Laura's secret boyfriend." I felt the world slip beneath my feet. We had never used that word before. James however seemed to snap out of his reverie.

"Nice to meet you Mrs Coulter," he said, extending his hand to her. "I'm James. James Potter."

"Very formal, Mr Potter," she teased him. "Please call me Jane."

"Jane," he repeated, releasing her hand.

"Are you coming in?"

"No," he replied quickly, with a furtive glance to me. "Unfortunately my grandmother will have already have my dinner on the table. I was just walking Laura home."

"How very chivalrous," my mother replied, her eyes glinting. "How about you join us tomorrow? For dinner?"

I rolled my eyes at her.

"That would be lovely," James replied without a hint of irony.

"Very good," nodded my mother appreciatively. "Well I'll see you tomorrow James. I'll just go back to my programme," she added, awkwardly leaving us alone.

"I'm so sorry," I groaned, covering my face in my hands. "You don't have to come to dinner."

"No it'll be good," James insisted. "It'll be nice to see the inside of your house." He gave me a quick kiss on my cheek, probably wary of my mother still lurking about. "I'll see you tomorrow. At the shop?"

"Yeah," I replied, a bit dazed. "Tomorrow."

He left and I continued in my trance as I walked into my house. My mum was watching the evening soaps as I glanced round the room.

"Laura what is the matter? You look like you've never seen the place before."

"I'm trying to guess what he'll think," I replied vaguely, still looking.

"Think about what?"

"The house! He says he can't wait to see the house!"

"Why do you care what he thinks about the house?" she asked, beginning to glance around with me. "What's wrong with my house?"

"Nothing Mum… it's just he goes to boarding school."

"So?"

"Well he must be rich, mustn't he? Boarding schools are expensive."

"Probably Laura, but honestly, I think he's worked out that we're not. He's seen the outside of the house, he knows it's not going to magically expand whenever he comes inside."

"I guess," I said, exhaling. "Why did you have to do that? You're so embarrassing."

"Well I heard the keys in the door," she smirked at me. "And it didn't look like you were going to introduce him anytime soon."

"How did you even know?"

"Oh for goodness sake Laura," she scoffed. "You think you're going to have some mystery boy mooning after you round the village for weeks and nobody is going to tell me? It's been the talk of the village."

"He doesn't moon," I protested.

"Can't believe you have your first boyfriend," she sighed, ignoring me. "I feel so old."

"He's not my –" I began to object but stopped myself. James hadn't seemed to mind the term, maybe I shouldn't either? "I'm going upstairs to change, and then I'm going to Kathryn's."

"Okay love," my mum replied, settling back to her soaps. "Dinner in about an hour ok?"

The conversation with Kathryn went better than expected. There were a few tears of course, but not the dramatic floods that I had prepared myself for.

"Well I always knew he was leaving," she reasoned. "And besides I'll have you to join me in my misery in a few weeks," she tried to joke, but I grimaced.

Walking back into my house in time for dinner I was just heading upstairs to wash my hands when the sound of my mother on the phone in the living room distracted me.

"Laura… yeah… He's a very handsome boy… Not local I don't think, no… He's goes to a boarding school, that's all I know…"

I started to go down the stairs again to confront her about having conversations with goodness knows who about me when something stopped me again.

"No, no. His name is Potter… No, dark hair, very dark hair…"

"Who are you talking to?" I asked, finally entering the room.

"Oh she's back for dinner," my mum said, without a hint of embarrassment. "Yea Mum, I'll speak to you soon. Love you. Bye."

"Was that Gran?"

"Who else do I call 'Mum'?" she asked, getting up from the settee and heading to the kitchen.

"Why are you talking about James? You don't even know James!"

"Because that's what mothers do Laura. Now hush," she shushed my whining and we sat down to dinner.

The next day in the shop passed painfully slowly. When closing time finally came around James arrived promptly, looking much neater than he normally did.

"Did you comb your hair?" I laughed as he walked in.

"Tried to," replied Roxanne, bounding in behind him.

"Hi," I replied, trying to keep the confusion from my voice.

"She's not coming," James explained quickly, rolling his eyes.

"I'm his cover," she whispered dramatically. He glared at her. "Gran thinks he's out with me."

"Oh thanks Rox!" James said, exasperated.

"Well, it's true."

"Piss off Rox." She gave a cheeky little wave and departed to goodness knows where. "She has done nothing but pick on me since Fred left. I didn't know she could be so annoying." He sounded worn out.

"Well at least she's doing you a favour tonight," I said icily.

"Laura, it's just easier this way."

"You couldn't tell your grandparents you were coming to dinner? Do they know about me?"

"Yesterday you hadn't told your mother about me," he countered. He was right. "Look I didn't want to have an awkward conversation with my grandparents. Roxanne said she would cover for me." He took a deep breath and then added – "There is nothing sinister here. I promise."

I relaxed. He was right of course. I don't think I would have wanted to have that conversation with my grandparents either.

"Shall we go then?" I asked and took his hand.

He grinned.

The dinner went well. James complimented my mother on her cooking and on the way she had decorated our house. My mother, for her part, laughed at all his jokes in the right places and didn't say anything too embarrassing.

"So Laura says you're here staying with your grandparents?" she asked as I got up to clear the table. "They live nearby?"

"Yes," said James politely. "Can I help you with that?" nodding at the dishes.

"No, its fine," I insisted. Besides, I wanted to see if my mum could get any more information out of him about his family than I usually could.

"I don't know any Potters," she mused. "Do they not come into the village very much?"

"My mother's parents actually," James corrected her. "The Weasleys. But no I don't think they come –"

"Oh you are a Weasley!" my mum interrupted him. I hastily dropped the plates I was carrying onto the kitchen counter and hurried back into the dining room. "My mother was asking me that last night on the phone."

"Your mother knows my grandparents?" James asked slowly.

"Of them, I think. Oh relax James," she said, leaning across the table to touch his arm. "My family's lived in Ottery St. Catchpole for generations. We're bound to have bumped into them at some point."

"I suppose, yeah."

"So the Weasleys then? My mum said they were a big family. All with red hair?"

"Yeah," laughed James. This was news. The only 'Weasleys' I had met all had dark hair. "Not quite all of us anymore. My sister has my mum's hair. My brother and I take after our dad," he said warmly.

"And your dad's family?" my mum continued pressing.

James tensed.

"He doesn't have any," he said with all joviality gone from his voice. "My father is an orphan."

"Oh!" my mother gasped. Her hand springing to her open mouth.

"Right mum that's enough of the inquisition for tonight," I intervened. "I'm going to show James the rest of the house."

"Yes… Ok… Right…"

I hurriedly ushered James out of the main room and up the stairs into my room.

"I'm so sorry," I said quickly, closing the door behind me. "She doesn't mean any harm."

"Its fine," James said, standing uncomfortably by the end of my bed. "Really. It's just… It is what it is I guess."

I sat down on the side of the bed.

"So what do you think?" I asked gesturing round my tiny bedroom. The walls were faded pink from when I had begged my mum to paint them that colour when I was nine. It had just enough room for a single bed pushed against one wall, and a chest of drawers and small wardrobe pushed against the other. On the walls were numerous posters of boy bands and film stars, and a mirror in an old wooden frame that Kathryn and I had doodled on with black marker.

"It's small and cute," James grinned, still standing. "Like you."

"I'm not small!" I protested, swatting him in the knee.

"Ow! Small and vicious! Honestly I have no idea how you stack the top shelves in the shop."

"There's a foot stool under the counter," I admitted. "Well if I'm so small you better take a seat, lest I get too dizzy staring up at you at that great height."

"I'm ok standing," he replied and took a step closer to my mirror, apparently admiring the doodles. "Oh ho! What's this? L.E.C? Laura… Esmeralda…"

"Elizabeth," I laughed, correcting him.

"Laura Elizabeth Coulter…L.E.C. '4' J –"

"Don't read that!" I yelled, jumping up and trying in vain to push him away from the offending graffiti. He had me pinned in front of him in seconds, holding each of my arms in his as I struggled against him, both of us facing the mirror.

"L.E.C. '4' J.J.B." he finished. "J.J.B?"

"John Joseph Baker. We went out for about four minutes when I was thirteen. He broke up with me for Rebecca Jones."

"The scoundrel," said James in mock disgust. "And you knew his middle name and everything! Well we'll have to fix this."

I stopped struggling as he dropped one of my arms and lifted a marker pen from the top of my dresser. Very carefully he put a line through the 'J.J.B.' and wrote 'J.S.P.'.

"J.S.P?"

"He sounds like a much better choice, Laura. He doesn't even know who Rebecca Jones is. Although if she turns out to be fitter than you he might have to think about it." I took my free arm and tried to elbow him in the stomach. Again he pinned me in seconds. "You are vicious."

"And you're a git! Whose middle name is… Stephen?"

"No."

"Samuel?"

"Nope."

"Simon?"

"You'll be here all night."

"Secretive?"

"Really?"

"Stupid?"

"Ah you see, I was going to tell you but now I'm just going to leave you to guess."

"What is it?" I asked sweetly.

"Sirius."

"Sirius?"

"What's wrong with Sirius?"

"It's a bit… unusual. Don't you think?"

"Is it?" asked James, slightly affronted.

"James I have literally never heard that name before."

"Well I'm named after somebody, so…"

"Someone else is named Sirius?" I asked incredulously.

"Was." He let me go and I quickly stopped laughing.

"James, come on I was kidding. I'm sorry. Who are you named after?" I asked, turning to face him.

"James for my father's dad, Sirius for my father's Godfather."

"And they're both…" He nodded slowly and then looked at me like he was contemplating something.

"They were murdered," he said eventually.

I gaped at him.

"And your grandmother? Your father's mother?"

He nodded again.

"My sister is named after her. Lily."

"Pretty name," I said, my head spinning.

"She's a pretty girl," he said begrudgingly, and unbelievably given what he had just told me, he smiled. "She's thirteen. The next few years are going to be awful."

"Protective older brother?"

"Two. Albus is just a year younger than me."

"Albus?" In spite of my dazed state of confusion, I smirked.

"Albus Severus," James grins back. "And you thought Sirius was unusual."

"And let me guess they were both…" James nodded for a third time, his grin widening. I couldn't help it. I gave a loud sharp laugh.

"I'm sorry," I said, trying to compose myself. "This is a lot to take in. Although I'm starting to understand why you don't really talk about your family."

He smiled at me.

"One day I'll tell you everything, but not tonight."

"No I think that's enough for tonight," I agreed. What the hell happened to his family? My thoughts came to a halt whenever his lips met mine.

He broke away from me after a moment, looking awkward and a little guilty.

"What?"

"It's just… we're in your room…"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"So?"

"I've never been in a girl's room before," he admitted. "Are you sure this is ok?"

"Yes," I said confidently. "Because nothing is going to happen."

"I know," James said quickly.

"This is a small house James," I said warningly. "So if you even think about anything like that, trust me, my mother will hear you."

"Should have told me that earlier." He cleared the look of astonishment off my face with another kiss. "I should go."

"Ok," I said and kissed him again. Suddenly I really didn't want him to go. I don't know if it was having him here in my room, or how well the evening had gone with my mother, or just how much he had shared with me. Maybe it was the reminder that he would be leaving soon, but I wanted to ask him to stay with me, here, in my room. I'd never experienced this before. I must've been channelling some of this into the way I was kissing him because abruptly he pulled back from me.

"Roxanne will be waiting for me," he said, almost apologetically.

We walked back downstairs and after he said goodnight to my mum I walked him to the front door. As predicted Roxanne was waiting at the end of the path for him, with her trademark grin.

"Did you have a nice night?" I asked her.

"Oh fantastic," she replied. "James and I have been playing one on one in the paddock all evening. Haven't we James?"

I looked at James quizzically after he kissed me on the cheek.

"Playing what?"

"One day. Everything," he said, taking my hand. "I promise."

It was barely over a week later when James surprised me by coming round to my house first thing in the morning.

"Morning," I said blearily, opening the door to him. I was still in my pyjamas and dressing gown. "What are you doing here this early? My mum's only just gone to open up the shop."

"Morning to you too," he said brightly. "You are really not a morning person."

"Not at all," I agreed. "So could you come back in about twelve hours?"

"I can't. That's why I'm here."

"Oh," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. This would be the first evening in nearly four weeks that I hadn't seen James. "How come?"

"My parents are coming for dinner," he explained. "Albus and Lily too."

"Oh," I said again. Logically I knew that James would never introduce me to his parents, he barely mentioned them, so I assumed they were not very close. Still the twinge of disappointment was hard to fight off so early in the day. "Ok," I said, trying to smile. "Are you coming in?"

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "No they'll be arriving shortly. That's why I wanted to come and see you now." He looked around anxiously behind him, as if they might just appear out of thin air beside him now. I laughed.

"When will I see you then?"

"Tomorrow? I'll meet you at work ok?" And with a quick kiss he was away.

My mum was having a 'girl's night' that evening, which involved her and her friends in the village congregating in someone's house and sharing a bottle of wine, or two. Luckily tonight it was not in our house so I had invited Kathryn over to keep me company. We were sitting in my room when the mirror caught Kathryn's eye.

"Did you do that?" she asked, pointing at the letters James had added the week before.

I shook my head. "James did it," I replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

"So he's your boyfriend then?" she asked, seeing straight through me.

"Apparently so."

"So are you going to keep in touch when he leaves?" She had been dancing round the subject all evening, obviously wary of upsetting me.

I shrugged and pulled my legs up to my chest on my bed. "I don't know how we can. He doesn't have a phone and he says his school doesn't have an internet connection so…" I shrugged again.

"What school doesn't have the internet?" Kathryn scoffed.

"It's in a really remote part of Scotland apparently."

Kathryn continued to peruse the mirror.

"What? You think he's lying to me?" I asked.

"I did," she replied, her face unreadable. "It seemed a convenient way of having a summer fling without having to deal with any of the fall out. It's happened before," she said with a brave smile.

"But now?" I pressed her. I didn't want her to dwell too much on Fred.

"He really likes you Laura."

I squirmed.

"Oh wise up," she scolded me. "You really like him too."

I didn't deny it.

"So what do I do?"

Kathryn left late that night. So late in fact I think it was the morning. We had talked Fred and her, and James and I to death, and come up with no resounding conclusion.

It felt like I had only just fallen asleep when a continuous rapping sound woke me. I groaned out loud and cursed my mother. Surely she hadn't forgotten her key? I was a light sleeper and used to her waking me when she came in from a 'girl's night' but thinking I was actually going to get out of my cosy bed and let her in was a new annoyance. I lay in my bed for a few for moments, mentally preparing the furious onslaught I was going to give her when I realised that the rapping was not coming from our front door. It was coming from my window. And perched precariously on my bedroom window ledge was James.

"How did you…? Why did you…? What?" I was too shocked to form coherent sentences. He jumped down as I opened the window, and landed on my bed.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Why are you on my window sill?" I asked, sitting down beside him. "How are you on my window sill?"

"I needed to see you."

"Then use the door!"

"I didn't want to wake your mum," he reasoned.

"Then don't come to my house at half one in the morning! She's not home yet anyway." I took a deep breath to calm myself. "You should go before she gets back."

He took my hand, showing no intention of going.

"I'm leaving," he said simply.

"What?"

"I'm going back to London," he explained. "They told me tonight at dinner. They want me back home."

"When?" I thought we had another week. He had told me we had another week.

"In a few hours, when they all wake up." He lay back on the bed and ran his free hand through his hair. He looked like he hadn't slept yet.

"So you're saying goodbye?" I said quietly.

"I don't want to."

I lay down beside him and put his arm round me.

"I was meant to leave when Fred left," he said when the silence between us became too much. "Roxanne helped me come up with an excuse to stay, but its run out. I can't think of anything else." He sounded frustrated.

"Its ok," I assured him. I didn't ask what excuse Roxanne and he had come up with. It didn't matter now anyway. Although it was nice to know that he had prolonged his stay for me.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked.

"I had a nice summer, James. Thank you."

He frowned at me.

"You sound like I'm never going to see you again."

"Are you?"

He didn't answer, but looked deep in thought.

"I…" he started a few times but ultimately thought better of it. It shocked me when he punched the bed in frustration.

"James, its ok," I tried to soothe him.

Suddenly he kissed me like he had never kissed me before, and like he would never kiss me again. For the second time in my life feelings arose that I was still unfamiliar with. Feelings that made me never want him to leave. Feelings that made me forget that it was nearly two in the morning. Feelings that made me not care my mother would be home any minute. Feelings that made me want to do something so I would never forget this boy.

He broke away from me, with the same uncomfortable expression he had worn the first time he had kissed me in my room.

"I should –"

"James," I interrupted him. "Don't go. Not yet."

And I'm glad he didn't.