Draco's Lust
He pulled off his robes, slowly at first but then...with Haste. Hermione lay there before him, sprawled out, ready for the taking. Her shapely form was exemplary of feminine beauty, it's many curves all nothing but pristine works of art on the human canvas. He mounted her and looked deeply into her dark eyes, which seemed to beckon him further. Draco let out a soft moan of satisfaction as he gently tugged on her hair. Hermione's inner goddess roared as she was reminded of an incident which had happened nearly three years prior;
An unholy union of silicone and flesh, an unquenchable thirst to conquer, and all wrapped up in a tight little skirt. Britney was a force to be trifled with. She and Christopher Columbus have been sailing the seven seas, searching for treasures and a new land to plunder and colonize.
"Chrissy!", rasped Britney from the depths of their black mast boat, "I need water!"
Columbus laughed cruelly and shot a horse tranquilizer dart into Britney's left breast which rendered her more stupid than usual. He picked his nose and flicked it into the ocean where a lily-flower grew.
"WHO GOES THERE!" Shouted Rudolph the red nosed reindeer as he erupted from the flower, "My liege!" grovelled Chris as he fell to his knees in adoration, "I have brought you many gifts!" Rudolph was unmoved however, and reached inside his pocket, pulling out something that would silence his slave for an eternity…
"Rudolph, NO!" quibbled the unchallenged Chrissy C as a sick beat dropped in the air and the Reindeer began to sing into the microphone.
"YAW MAN, I'M CUNT FUCKING RAIN-DEER ON YOUR ." Rudy shit out all of his ecstacy and yelped to mountains above and below.
Chris' ears could no longer tolerate such abuse, and they soon began to start a revolt, leaping from his head and starting their own democratic republic, completely independent from Christopher Columbus. Rudolph, clearly enjoying his underling squirm thought he would take things up a notch and dialed it up to 11! "I WORK FOR ST NICK YOU HICK! NOW LICK MAH BALLS AND SUCK MAH DICK!"
It was at this time that something special happened on the surface of the seas, in which Rudolph nor Chrissy Tissy could have foreseen. Britney emerged from the den of the cabin of the ship shippity ship which made everyone gasp in a unison choir. Britney was no longer as happy as she was before, and everyone got real fucking depressed honestly.
"I'M SAD BECAUSE SOMETHING HAPPENED." proclaimed Britney through a sob. She soon mounted the banister and slid down it, getting slivers all down her legs and up her
rumpus, leaving a trail of insidious black liquid as she traveled further down the spiral staircase. Soon after, She spoke again. "I AM NO MAN! I AM BUT A TURTLE!"
"Croak!" let out the small mannered Britney in between the slivers of wooden ligaments running through her body.
Chrisman looked upwards into the sky and witnessed a Doctor assess Britney's condition with a critical and blind eye.
"She seems to have contracted the virus of-"
"Gubbie Gups? You can't be serious." Proclaimed a defiant Christopher as he crossed his arms and shook his head, "That plague died out centuries ago!" The doctor gave a negative head shake, "That doesn't seem to be the case...I'm so terribly sorry." Britney soon became jelly. "I'm sorry Chris...my apologies Rudolph...I really thought this word...happen!"
The trio composed of RUDY, CHRIS, and BRITNEY decided to become one and meld their bodies, at the brain, soul, and body. A newborn baby small child lay on the boat which had made its way into the port of Louisiana in which an angry mob searched and searched for a baby to nestle.
"Baby want chocolate milk?" the baby rasped.
"DO NOT TOUCH HIM!" instructed a livid Bill Nye, "The child is VOLATILE!"
The crowd were reminded of this fact and nodded, how could they have been so foolish? They all thought. Anyways, the sea began to boil. "HOLD ON TO SOMETHING!" shouted a reluctant Thomas.
"Everyone to a boat, dearies!" commanded a dementia-ridden Grandmother who somehow escaped her facility restraints. The crew got inside and noticed that worms covered the inside with dirt to match! Cheese was the only answer that anyone knew.
And so it was. Cheese wa E. The walls, moon, stars, you name it! But something wasn't right...something was...missing? But what? "Did somebody order a tuna salad!?" They all cheered! It was him! It was the Trudeau! And he brought his trusty sidekick; The Ghosumafro!
So many fucking bananas. They were all deceived. Bananas were the real key to salvation. And Daddy Trudeau knew it too.
"Uhh, everyone uhh, go BANANAS!" he rhapsodize in a fury of fire and courage, blowing out the lids casket of several filled coffins.
"Macaroni and sausage surprises woo!" Chanted the crowd. "NO!" Shouted Trudeau as sweat poured from his pores, "STOP THIS! NOW!" But they never would stop. "Macaroni and sausage surprises woo!" They chanted again, louder this time. "I AM YOUR CHAMPION!" commanded a now melting Trudeau. It was no use. They would not stop until he was dead as a hammer. "Macaroni and sausage surprises woo!" With a final shout it was done. The Trudeau was now nothing more than what he always was...An undercooked salmon. All took and ate graciously.
Words have power, and yet, as they all ate the salmon, they couldn't help but feel a sense of disheartenment at the thought of having to eat supper AGAIN, to be fully fed. A hundred little black asians came and went to see how the salmon reacted to being idolized in such a way.
"Just me!" the lesser Trudeau spoke in salmon form. It was no use.
A single solitary piece of rain tumbled from the sky and whipped through the Africa Summit Convention Leader's head with the fury of a pancake flying high in the sky.
Soon, all was revealed. Outrage plagued the lands of Nigeria. Many settlers fled and settled in New Zealand to find refuge with JACKSON, whilst others tried their luck on the mean streets of Wales, no matter the story one thing was certain, failure to abide by the rule of the Finches was to be with death herself.
And so the torment and struggle from the capitalist society made everything else seem like a GIF on slow motion.
"Just make it sugary?" Gideon Ramblay demanded to his loving child of seventy. "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! GO TRIDENT!" The fork of Genevan saltwater ripped through a child's head somewhere. Somehow.
"I knew it!" Proclaimed an exasperated Gideon as he expired his final roll of dental floss, "The cities fall and the head the rebellion against the men who trapped them in cradles. Simple enough." But upon this analysis, he realized that he too was indeed guilty, and the Finches sought to destroy him as well.
Gideon spooned the bird brained creature in the middle of the daylight hours. Passerbys screamt and shouted and cried but Gideon kept at it. However, more birds came to help their feathered friend and Gideon had no choice but to enact the end all: Funk.