A/N: Long time I know! Sorry!
1:38 P.M.
Day 8
Well yesterday wasn't fun to say the least. Everything that happened afterward was kinda in the shape of a downward spiral, as is my life nowadays.
...Gwen won't talk to much me now. I can kinda understand that. I did say that we had to kill her boyfriend. ANd I did expect her to act this way. And I don't blame her either. If someone told me that I had to kill Julie, I would beat that person to a bloody pulp.
And I'm angry with myself too. I don't want to kill Kevin. I've always had a solid issue with killing anyone since I was ten-years old, even if I thought it was the right thing to do. It was immorally wrong to me and it seemed like the type of thing that only bad guys would do. To kill someone someone so the won't be in your way? It seems wrong...it is wrong...!
But, I'm not the bad guy. I'm trying to save people by taking Kevin out. Trying to keep people from getting hurt by him. Keeping ther universe safe. That's my job isn't it? To protect the universe? Right?
Ugghh... I don't even know anymore. I don't even feel like myself now that I made this decision. I don't feel like Ben Tennyson anymore. I'm just..watching someone else control my body, my actions,...my words.
I'm starting to think that that's why I said we should kill Kevin. Because I haven't been myself since he went insane. Cold, distant, robotic, deathly-serious: this isn't me. But I know that if I tell Gwen this she won't listen or believe me. She'll just say that I'm making excuses for my behavior. Go figure...
Maybe I'll talk to Julie. She usually listens to me when I have a problem. Hopefully she'll have some advice for me. I could really use some right now.
Write tomorrow.
Ben T.
A/N: Meh. New obsessions really can tak over your life. Curse you for being so wonderful Hetalia! *shakes fist at sky* Review please~
~Ellie