Hello, everyone! Another Seamus fanfiction! If you love Seamus fanfiction, you should read my other stories, Count Down and Forged By Fire.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

WARNINGS: MEMORIES OF ABUSE

He's not technically alone. Professor Dumbledore is with him, but as the news leaves the headmaster's lips, Seamus Finnigan feels more alone than he has in a long time.

"There was an accident."

Seamus swallows.

"Your father was… intoxicated… while driving."

He was driving drunk. Seamus should have seen that coming.

"He collided with a truck on the highway. He survived the original collision-"

Maybe there is hope… But no. Dumbledore's face is far too sad, the kind of expression he wears when he is delivering tragic news. There's more to this story.

"-but another vehicle didn't have time to swerve away from the accident and drove into your father's car."

Seamus knows the truth before the Headmaster can take a deep breath and the words leave his mouth.

"Your father didn't make it. I'm so sorry, Seamus," the Headmaster finishes.

Seamus nods, slowly, but he doesn't speak.

"Seamus, if you ever need anything or someone to talk to, you can come to me or the councilor or another teacher. You don't have to suffer through this alone."

But he does. He suffers through everything alone. Why should this be any different?

Seamus nods. "Thank you," he whispers before standing and exiting the classroom.

Why should he care if his dad was dead? His father never cared about him, so why should Seamus care if he didn't survive the accident?

That's the strange thing. He cares. So much. And he doesn't know why. He should feel relieved. No more bruises. No more injuries. No more insults.

But he isn't relieved. He wants to curl up and cry, and he doesn't understand this unexplainable grief. He can't understand why it's there.

"Hey, Seamus!" Ron calls, gesturing for him to come over to stand besides the infamous Golden Trio.

"Ron, I'm sorry, but I-I just need to be alone," Seamus murmurs before running off towards Gryffindor Tower.

"What was that all about?" Harry asks Ron and Hermione.

Hermione shakes her head. "I don't know, but we need to find out. Quiet, withdrawn… that isn't like Seamus. At all."

"I'll get Dean," Harry offers.

He's not technically alone. The memories are right by his side, and the memories threaten to drown him in an endless sea of grief he may never escape.

*FLASHBACK*

"Boy, where are you?"

Seamus whimpered as his dad came crashing down the hallway, his beer bottle clinking against the walls as he over balanced and leaned heavily on the wall to prevent himself from falling over.

Seamus didn't understand why his daddy was so mad. He knew it had something to do with who Seamus was, what he could do. The magic that sparked from his hands that day had been what set his father off. A six pack of alcohol later, his father had his fists clenched, ready to bring them down on Seamus's small form.

Please don't find me… Seamus thought. Please.

The door to the closet he was hiding in creaked open, and his father smiled down at him.

"There you are…"

*FLASHBACK OVER*

Seamus wipes the tears from his eyes, but it's no use. More start coming almost immediately.

*FLASHBACK*

"Daddy, can you teach me how to swim?" five year old Seamus asked.

"Why?" his father muttered from his seat by the empty indoor pool Seamus and his parents were visiting.

"Because I want to swim like all the big kids!" Seamus explained, cheerfully. "Please, Daddy?"

His father tossed his newspaper aside and stood.

"Sure," he told Seamus. "I'll teach you how to swim."

Seamus cheered as his father picked him up, and his father walked to the edge of the pool before tossing Seamus in without missing a beat.

Cold water wrapped around Seamus as he plunged into the pool, and Seamus felt water rush up his nose and into his mouth as the unprepared and terrified boy began to flail. He couldn't keep his head above the water. The pool was too deep. His feet scrambled to touch the bottom of the pool, to find solid ground to stand on, but his head didn't even skim the surface when the tips of his toes touched the floor of the pool.

"Daddy!" Seamus screamed as he pushed himself off of the floor and managed to gulp down some air.

"Swim!" his father ordered.

"I can't!" Seamus sobbed, and more water entered his lungs.

He didn't have enough oxygen. He couldn't breathe. There was only water in his lungs now; any oxygen had surely been pushed out by the water occupying his lungs.

The world slowly began to go black.

Seamus was slipping away. He could feel it. He was drowning…

He was dying.

Seamus heard a loud scream of horror before he slipped out of unconsciousness. He felt arms wrap around his shoulders, and the icy water vanished from around him, replaced by an even colder shock of air.

Then, it all went black.

…

Seamus coughed as he awakened, water flowing out of his mouth and splashing against his legs and chest, and his mother rushed to lean him up.

"That's it, baby," she murmured, clapping him on the back. "That's it. Just breathe."

Seamus nearly cried with relief when he discovered that he could breath again.

"What were you thinking?" his mother demanded, turning to his father. "He could've died."

"He asked me to teach him how to swim," his father pointed out.

"And when you saw that he was drowning, you did nothing!" his mother growled.

His father snarled before raising his hand, and his mother flinched, huddling over Seamus protectively.

"It's okay," his mother whispered as his father walked away. "You're safe now."

But even at five, Seamus knew the truth.

As long as his father could reach him, he was never truly safe.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

Seamus breathed, heavily, as the memories crept up on him once more.

*FLASHBACK*

"You. Are. Worthless," his father snarled, getting in his face. "Why can't you do something worthwhile instead of sitting around all day learning that freaky magic, huh?"

"I'll try harder, Dad-" Seamus began.

"Stop telling me and start doing it," his father replied.

Twelve year old Seamus knelt on the floor of his bedroom, his black eye throbbing painfully, as his father exited the room.

He was worthless. He was stupid. He was everything his father told him he was.

But most of all, he was all alone.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

"Shay?" a small voice whispers from behind him.

"Dean," Seamus replies as a hand rests on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks, sitting beside him.

"My dad… he died in an accident," Seamus chokes out.

"Shay…" Dean trails off, unsure of what to say, what to do.

Seamus can read his expression.

"You don't need to say anything," Seamus murmurs, his voice thick with tears. "Just… be there for me, okay?"

"Okay," Dean agrees.

The two best friends sit there in the otherwise empty dorm room, embracing. Dean allows Seamus to cry on his shoulder, and he runs his hands soothingly through Seamus's hair.

*FLASHBACK*

The shrill ring of the phone on his nightstand jolted twelve year old Seamus out of his thoughts, and he sat on his bed, touching his fingers lightly to his swollen eye. He picked up the phone and held it against his ear.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey, Shay!" Dean replied from the other end of the line. "What time do you want my mom to pick you up tomorrow to go to Diagon Alley with us?"

"Maybe around eleven am?" Seamus suggested.

"Sounds good. Guess what? You know that girl in my neighborhood I really like?"

"McKenzie?" Seamus remembered.

"Yeah. She talked to me, Shay! She talked to me!"

Seamus laughed. "Tell me more, and please, do the girlish screaming again."

Seamus instantly felt better as Dean began to tell him the story of the- in Dean's eyes- romantic moment.

Maybe he wasn't alone, after all…

*FLASHBACK OVER*

The grief, the pain, the betrayal, everything still hurts, but with Dean by his side, it hurts a little less.

Seamus isn't alone anymore. He has Dean now, and words can't even express how grateful he is for his best friend. It feels good… to not be alone. He feels really amazing to have someone that will always be there for him.

I do ship Dean/Seamus (this story implies, but it doesn't outright say it). I see Dean as bisexual because I think he did have feelings for Ginny, but I also saw him having feelings for Seamus. Hopefully, that explains the last flashback with McKenzie (which stemmed off of the last flashback about Seamus and his dad if you couldn't tell).

Thanks for reading! Please leave a review!