"WHY DONT I INVITE MYSELF IN" The Colasle titan anounced while placing both hands on the wall and bringing his large foot back only to swing it foward to make a large hole in the base of the wall. "CANT WAIT TO DIIIIIG YOUR LOVE!" He sung happily.

Debris from the wall exploded across the town, crushing houses and people. The titan only looked on in satisfaction. "REAL SHIT NIGGA! NO BITCH TALK"And with that said, the titan slowly dissapeared behind the wall by lowering himself while muttering about him having a new glory hole.

Back in the courtyard down below the three children stared in shock at the destruction all around.

"Are we safe?! did any titans come in?" Armin questioned while crouching on the ground looking like a rat.

"Way to go Armin, you fucking jinxed it" Eren said as a 10 meter titan lumbered through the hole, a permanent smile stretched over it's face. "MM, MM, MM. I SMELL ME SOME CRACKER JACKS.

"LOOK AT ALL THESE LIL MOTHERFUCKERS RUN AROUND OUT HERE."

"ITS LIKE CANDY LAND!"

As all this was being said, a whole hoard of titans, ranging from 2 to 14 meters filed in quickly one after the other.

Back to the kids, who being the dumbasses they were still stood in the same place until Eren stumbled foward in shock.

"Eren, no! where are you going!" Armin shouted after his friend.

"Mom, those rocks fell near mom." He muttered in a daze. Mikasa ran to his side before he could topple over and whispered comforting things in his ear, pulled him back up and attempted to drag him in the direction of their house shouting at him to snap out of it.

"NO!" Armin shouted insistently, still rooted to the same spot he was standing before. Reaching out to friends as they ran ahead, not giving a fuck about him.

"Steady your hand armin" He said to himself while grasping his shaking wrist with his other stable hand "You can't let them see you shaking when you take your revenge."

Mikasa and Eren were seen running up to their collapsed house.

"MOM! MOM!" Eren shouted in horror when he witnessed his mom burried under the front of the reckage.

"Quick mom, where does it hurt?"

"My evereywhere" She groaned.

"Help me lift this" Mikasa told Eren as she grasped a large wooden beam that lay across their mother.

"How many titans are there?" Carla asked her son.

"There's only" He started saying, looking up from his current occupation. "A million."

In the distance, an 11 meter could be seen lumbering towards the ruins of the Jaeger's destroyed house.

"DAMN, THIS IS LIKE AN ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET! LOOK AT ALL THESE LIL SNACKS RUN AROUND. WE EATIN GOOD TONIGNT! LARGE AND IN CHARGE!"

"Oh my God, that is so scary." Eren commented dryly when he noticed the titan.

"Oh my god Eren, Mikasa is totally bitching you right now" Carla said "I can acctualy feel her lifting the post all by herself! Watching you two lift this post is like watching a death match between Ironman and Jimeny Cricket for fucks sake!"

"Can we stop, with the sibling rivalry!?" Eren yelled at his mom while putting all his of puny strength into lifting the post.

"I"m sorry, this is a really horrible time for it. I'm sorry" Carla apoligized quickly..."IM SORRY, but look at her! I'ts like watching a Herculean legend!"

"I'm trying dammit! Aahhhhh!" eren screamed in pain, blood coating his fingers from all the splinters, then his hand slipped, so did the post, and there was a sickening crunch.

"AH, MY FEMUR" Carla shouted in agony. "I'ts no use, not even Mikasa"s man strength can get me out of here."

A whirling sound came from nowhere. "I'ts me, captain hero!" Hanes anounced flying in on his ODM gear. "Heyyyy eren. Man this awkward. Oh hey Carla, weren't you on your knees last time we met?

"HANES SAVE MY SPAWNLINGS!" She pleaded desperatley.

"Don't worry Carla, when was the last time i ever dissapointed you?"

"Context" Eren glared at Hanes.

"Don't worry Eren. I'm gonna save all three of you, then be rewarded richly in bed with your mama!" He claimed while jumping of the ruins of the house, activating his ODM gear and sailing away in the direction of the titan, bamboo blades out and ready to slice and dice. "God i fell like a young man again. Even better her legs are broken so she can"t leave the bed. Not that she'd want to, if you know what im saying" Hanes said to himself "GAWWWD, Hanes, you might have a name that sounds like a neandertholic troll trying to drawl out the Hanes logo, but deep inside, YOU ARE A BADASS.