– I was hoping we could talk a bit tonight and maybe make certain things clear.
She turned out with this unexpectedly, while they were going through some photos she took while abroad. Landscapes and monuments so different from the ones they were used to, that seemed far away in time, like pictures coming from old books.
– You've been acting strange since I came back from SEAUn, Ginoza. There is something in you I can't understand…
She turned to look at him to find a genuinely puzzled expression on his face.
Then he really isn't aware of it?
– I've asked the others if something happened while I was away, but all they could tell me was that you were worried. Thank you. That doesn't sound something unusual.
– They told you the truth, I was. – He admitted.
– What else, then? – She insisted.
– There is nothing else, I was just worried you wouldn't come back – he explained. And contemplating the possibility seemed to bring back pain even now.
– You really think so little of my skills, Mr. Ginoza, that you expected me to get killed so easily?
She teased.
– No. – he answered earnestly and this time he averted his gaze from hers before going on – I was afraid you'd choose not to come back. Worked at Shambala Float, maybe. Stayed with Ko…
Then it's gratitude. That's what makes his look so different, somewhat gentler, calmer, even bashful at times.
– And leave you behind?
Her question cut like a knife in his stomach, bringing back old and painful memories and at the same time making him almost ashamed of himself.
There was some bitterness in her tone, disappointment maybe, like a «do you really think I can do something like that?» was implied.
He'd never realized that before. The only fact that he could entertain such a thought on her sounded almost insulting, yes. But he couldn't help it. He just couldn't. He'd always been like that, doubting himself, doubting he could be worth the trouble, with everyone.
– Now you listen to me. – she said sternly, locking her big eyes in his emerald ones.
– Do you remember my first day at the PSB?
– Yes…? – he looked confused.
– Do you remember the exact moment I reached the team out in the field, under the rain, looking for you? Do you remember? – she continued, her voice on the verge of anger this time.
– Yes, I do. – How on earth could I ever forget?
– Good, than you'd better hammer that scene on top of all the senseless thoughts going through that thick head of yours, ok?
She was repeatedly pointing her finger at his chest, cheeks flushed with the vehemence.
– because no matter what, after that day, you'll never get rid of me, understood? NEVER. – her voice broke at this point and her eyes shimmered under her frown.
She threw her tiny arms around his neck. – you, idiot!
He didn't move, nor put his arms around her tiny form to reciprocate the hug. He just stayed there, in her embrace, defenseless, resting his entire body against her. He closed his eyes.
Never…