Morning came in Endsville. Everybody in the house was awake, and Mandy called Billy into the kitchen.
Mandy: Billy, breakfast is ready!
Billy came into the kitchen, greeted by all sorts of morning goodness.
Billy: Alright. All this parenting is making me hungry.
He leans the table to him, and all the food slides into his mouth. He lets out a belch after consuming everything on the table.
Billy: Hey there, Junior. How are you doing today? -Catches a sniff of the baby- Mandy?
Mandy: Yes, Billy?
Billy: Kid's gotta stinky.
Mandy: You handle it. My hands are full.
Billy chugs down his morning coffee, after which letting out a satisfying "Ahh…"
Billy: Gee, I wish I could, but I gotta get going.
Mandy: Going? Where are you going?
Billy: Going to work. I'm the dad, remember?
Mandy: You expect me to take care of everything myself?
Billy: Don't worry. I'll give you a break when I get home tonight. Now, don't you two stop being adorable.
Billy closes the door and Mandy lets out an irritating sigh. It was 8:30 in the evening when Billy finally came home.
Billy: Whew… What a day.
Mandy: Good. You're finally home. Now you can take care of the baby.
Billy: Mandy, I'd love to, but I'm totally beat from work.
Mandy: Huh?
Billy walks into the living room and crashes onto a chair in the living room, grabbing his remote and putting on his favorite comedy show: Nathan the Nutcase. It was just in time for Billy to see his favorite part.
Billy: HAHAHAHA! That guy got hit in the head with a coconut!
Mandy: Billy, aren't you forgetting something?
Billy: Oh yeah, your break. Uh, tomorrow, I promise.
Mandy: (Sigh) Alright. Tomorrow, then.
TOMORROW…
Billy comes home at 8:30 again.
Billy: Whew… Another tough day.
Mandy: Alright, you're home again. Now to give me my break.
Billy: Work was a killer. I need my chair. -Flop-
Mandy: Billy, I really need my-
Billy: Tomorrow for sure.
TOMORROW FOR SURE…
Mandy: Billy?
Billy: I'll get to it eventually.
EVENTUALLY…
…
Mandy: Huh?
Billy: Uh…
UHHH…
Mandy had enough. She finally confronted Billy.
Mandy: Alright, Billy, that's it. We need to talk.
Billy: Just one more minute…
Mandy: (Snatching the remote) Don't you "one more minute" me, pinhead. -Turns off the TV-
Billy: Hey, I'm missing the coconut.
Mandy: You have not been helping at all with Junior. We made a commitment, and you're not doing your share. You don't do anything around here.
Billy: I changed his diaper.
Mandy: (Scoffs) Once.
Billy: He's only this big. How many diapers could he possibly use?
Mandy opens a trash can filled with dirty diapers.
Mandy: Hmm?
Billy: Oh, that's not so much.
Mandy opens the closet.
Mandy: Hmm?
Billy: So?
Mandy shows a pile in the living room corner.
Mandy: Hmm?
She then shows the empty drawers.
Mandy: HMM?
She rips off the wall.
Mandy: HMM!?
Then she takes Billy up to her window to see a giant hill of dirty diapers being carted away by the garbage truck. Billy looks at it with guilt.
Billy: I had no idea… What kind of father am I!? -Sniff- I'll make it up to you, Mandy. I promise.
THE NEXT MORNING…
Mandy: So, what's the plan for today?
Billy: No more fooling around. From now on, I'm SuperDad. I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time. So you just leave a big ol' stinky diaper for me to change, and you can take the night off, hun.
Mandy: So I'll see you at 6 o'clock.
Billy: 6 o'clock.
Mandy: Six o'clock.
Billy: Six o'clock.
Mandy: Six o'clock.
Billy: Six o'clock.
Mandy: Six o'clock!
Billy: Six o'clock!
TWELVE O'CLOCK MIDNIGHT…
Billy: Tehehe… Hahaha… Oh boy. That was some party. Oh hey, Mandy. Hey, Junior.
Mandy gave him a stern look in the eyes, angry at him, of course.
Billy: What? What!?
Mandy: Oh, nothing.
Billy: Oh, what a relief. -Puts lampshade on Mandy's head- For a second, I thought you were mad at me.
Mandy: Do you remember what you said to me this morning?
Billy: Something about root beer, right?
Mandy: (Long sigh) No.
Billy: Oh, wait. Let me guess. … I give up.
Mandy: Does "You can take the night off, hun" ring a bell?
Billy: (Blows raspberry) I don't need this!
Mandy: What? Where do you think you're going?
Billy was heading to his front door.
Billy: I'm going back to work!
With that, he went into his house and slammed the door shut.
Mandy: Work!?
Mandy got so mad, she marched over to Billy's house, and busted the door open. She saw Billy on his couch watching his favorite comedy show again.
Billy: Haha… He got hit in the head with two coconuts.
Mandy: So… This is work?
Billy: Y'know, it's not as easy as it looks. Sometimes I gotta move the antenna, sometimes I lose the remote, and sometimes my butt itches real bad.
Mandy: Oh, you poor, poor thing. By the way, you forgot your BRIEFCASE!
She opened it up to reveal he had desserts and donuts inside, and she spilled it all on Billy.
Billy: Ohhh… So this is the thanks I get for working overtime.
She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists.
Mandy: OVERTIME!?
The two started to argue back and forth with each other. It went on for about ten seconds until Junior started crying again. Mandy ran out the door.
Mandy: Great. You woke the baby.
Billy: Well, at least I did something.
They both ran back into Mandy's house, trying to put Junior back to sleep.
Mandy: Ugh, this is why you'll never be a father.
Billy: Hey, I'm a good father. I work.
Mandy: That's no excuse, Billy. You have to do more than just work.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Mandy opened it up to reveal a woman.
Mandy: Can I help you?
Woman: Yes. I'm looking for my child. I left him in this area, and I haven't seen him since.
Mandy: Would it be this little one right here?
Woman: Yes, it is.
Mandy: Well, here. We made sure he was well taken care of.
Woman: Oh, thank you two. I'm sure you'll become great parents one day.
Mandy turns to look at Billy.
Mandy: Maybe so.
Woman: Well, we best be going now. Say "bye-bye", dear.
Mandy: (Waving at the baby) Bye.
Billy: Goodbye, Junior.
Mandy had a slight smile on her face.
Mandy: Well, Billy… He doesn't need us anymore.
Billy: This is the hardest part of every parent's life… I assume.
Mandy: Y'know, despite all we went through, it was worth it.
Billy: Yeah… Let's have another.
YES, I KNOW THEY WERE OOC. NO, I DON'T CARE. IT'S A PARODY. OF COURSE THEY'RE GONNA BE OOC. ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT. THANKS FOR READING!