Chapter 1 - 02
Just over five months later, somewhere in Kansas, Buffy Summers drove the black van slowly past the mini ghouls, demons and witches roaming the streets on that Halloween night, and, double-checking that she'd got the address right, brought the van to a halt outside a nondescript house. Grabbing her broomstick and straightening her false nose, she stepped out into the cold night air, made her way to The Witch Slayer's front door and rang the doorbell.
After an agonizingly long wait, the door opened. A girl in her late teens stood there smiling, a stake in one hand. The moment that Buffy saw her the memories came flooding back. Memories of the girl's red stiletto boots, red with her blood, smacking repeatedly into Buffy. Whilst her mind was in the past, the rest of Buffy, clad in a witch's outfit, continued in auto-pilot in the present. "Trick or Treat?" she asked, as her hands grasped tightly on her broomstick.
"So, Buffy. I guess I better invite you in. Otherwise you'll be stuck out there forever."
Suddenly, as Buffy looked at the young, previously dead, slayer, she suddenly heard the opening bars of the theme tune to Ironside.
"Come in," said The Witch Slayer. Buffy followed her into the house, looking around at the old-fashioned decor.
"I better turn this down first," said The Witch Slayer and aimed a remote at the TV showing the Ironside rerun. "Now, what can I do for you?"
"I'm here for revenge," admitted Buffy.
"Thought so," replied The Witch Slayer as she swung one of her stilettoed boots towards Buffy.
Buffy caught the boot in her hand. "Although, I was hoping we could try talking first," she said as she held the booted foot aloft in the air.
Her opponent swung her other leg in the air, over her first leg and towards Buffy's face. "These boots are made for talkin' "
Buffy effortlessly moved her head back to avoid the boot's arc, and caught the boot in her other hand. "You've been back less than half a year and already you're tossing out '60s pop culture quips. I'm impressed. So, ready to talk now? Face it – I'm a vampire and a Slayer, you're just a Slayer - you don't really stand a chance here."
The Witch Slayer lay face down on the ground, facing away from Buffy who was holding her by her boots. Slowly she put her palms against the ground and, gritting her teeth, started to push herself up. "Let me tell you this, Buffy The Vampire/Slayer, I've faced fear-wraiths, mechanoids , werebeasts and hungry dwarves. I beat them all - just like I'll beat you."
Supported by her hands, the Witch Slayer swung her legs towards and over her, flinging the attached Buffy through the glass coffee table in front of her. As Buffy looked up, shattered glass all around her, she found a stillettoed boot perched just on top of her chest. To be technical the stiletto was the sharpened end of a wooden stake and an inch closer and Buffy would be dust. There was only one thing Buffy could do.
"Hungry dwarves?" she said disbelievingly, starting to laugh.
The Witch Slayer's face fell. "They ate my family."
Buffy stopped laughing as realization dawned. "Oh no … I get it … They munched your kin . Eww."
The toe of the boot, not the stake heel, hit Buffy hard in the stomach.
"I was going to kill you quick, but now I'm going to make you suffer," the Witch Slayer explained, with the aid of punches, to Buffy. "So, still want to talk, Slayer. Anything left to say."
"Surrender, Dorothy," replied Buffy, blocking the latest punch and kicking Dorothy Gale across the room. Buffy's face morphed into its vampiric form as she started heading in for the kill.
And then the door opened.
"Is that the time?" said Dorothy, looking at the hourglass in the corner of the room.
"I might have known," groaned Buffy looking towards the door and the person who'd just walked in.
"Buffy, is that you?" asked Oz, putting down the comics magazine he'd been carrying.
"Hi, Oz." Buffy waved at Oz as she morphed her face back to its human form.
"Willow introduced us," explained Dorothy to Buffy. "She thought we'd go well together."
"So, what are you two Slayers doing?" Oz asked, surveying the wreckage of the room.
"Just one of those vengeance things, honey ... we'll move to the kitchen. I'll be back when Buffy's dead. Well, she's already dead – I mean really most sincerely dead."
"Okay, no rush," said Oz, grabbing the remote and turning up Ironside.
Buffy and Dorothy sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee and shooting the breeze.
"So, you're a Witch Slayer. Shouldn't you kill Willow?"
Dorothy didn't reply, so Buffy changed the subject.
"So, Dorothy, they made a movie about you. That must be weird."
"Yeah, but at least it was a good movie."
"So, was it anything like your life?"
"Here and there. Of course I didn't have monsters as friends. There was an English academic Professor Marvel, he was my Watcher, and I had a witch friend called Glinda (a bit like your friend Willow), and this other friend Frank, a real goody goody, bit of a dreamer."
"What about Toto?"
"He was a bit bigger in real life. Hey, have you seen what I've got over there." Dorothy said with a smile and pointed to a big bucket of water in the corner.
"Hey, could I borrow it to throw over Willow? Or maybe I could drop a house on her?" Buffy mentally pondered Willow dying in numerous ways.
Dorothy moved to the bucket and picked it up.
"Ah, but the movie was wrong. She wasn't a witch, she was a vampire, and this isn't just water …"
"Holy water," yelled Buffy as Dorothy flung the bucket's contents towards her.
Buffy fell to the floor screaming, smoke pouring from her charred body. Oz came in to see what the noise was, and saw Buffy writhing on the floor. "I'm melting. I'm melting," he said sarcastically, waving his hands in the air, and then left.
Dorothy stood by the sink, looking down at Buffy, and finished her coffee.
Meanwhile, Buffy's hands grasped on to the electronic broomstick that Andrew (inspired by the Green Goblin) had made. She should have used it the moment Dorothy first opened the door, just blasted her with it, but her stupid soul had got in the way and now it was too late. Her survival instinct told her she needed to get out of here fast, so, aiming the broomstick as best she could at the kitchen window, she pressed the button on the side of it. The liquid oxygen powered broomstick sprang into life and launched through the window carrying Buffy out behind it along with a slipstream of broken glass. As Buffy's grasp on the broomstick weakened she dropped to the stone ground outside.
Dorothy washed her coffee cup and smiled. It wasn't quite what she'd been expecting, but she'd been planning on dragging Buffy into the garden anyway.
Buffy lay on the ground, trying to ignore all the messages her body was sending her. Looking around she spotted a large shed at the edge of the garden, illuminated by a couple of red lights. Maybe she could find something in it to help her fight Dorothy. Slowly she crawled her way towards the shed, not noticing the large arched opening on one side of it.
Dorothy looked down at Buffy, through the broken kitchen window, as Buffy slowly crawled towards the shed. Oz joined the bemused Dorothy to watch from the window.
"If she only had a brain," sighed Oz.
"If I only had a heart," laughed Dorothy, as she got up and headed outside for the final showdown.
Buffy got near to the shed when she saw something long in the grass - the broomstick. Grabbing hold of it she struggled the final few feet to the shed. After entering the large arched opening in its side, she pushed herself up to her feet, supported by the shed's wall. She'd wait there, in the warmth of the shed, and when Dorothy came for her, blast her with the broomstick.
Suddenly a big drop of rain fell on Buffy. At least it felt like rain, and at least it wasn't holy water. Maybe the shed roof needed fixing. She thought about the shed and that strange arched opening on the side of it and suddenly her mind was filled with a picture of Snoopy lying on the top of it. And then another drop of rain fell on her and, as she turned around to see herself looking up into two glowing red eyes, she realized that the rain was actually dog drool and that Toto was actually a ten-foot tall hell hound. Luckily, she still had the broomstick to make a quick getaway.
And then, before she knew it, Dorothy had lassoed her with some thick rope and the broomstick had fallen to the ground.
As she struggled to escape from the rope, Dorothy laughed. "Toto can't break that rope so you'll have no chance. Now just sit back and let your life flash before - hey wait, you must know the drill by now."
"Toto, feeding time," she added.
Buffy dropped to the ground as Toto's wide mouth opened towards her, revealing the large flames burning within him. Suddenly seeing her broomstick on the ground, she put her foot beneath it and kicked it up.
And then everything seemed like it was happening in slow-motion to Dorothy. She saw the broomstick circle upwards in the air, its arc of travel stopped by an eager Toto grabbing it in his mouth. As Buffy made as much distance as she could between herself and Toto, Toto ran back into his kennel to chew on his new bone . Of course, fire and liquid oxygen aren't the best combination and the next thing Dorothy saw was the kennel flying into the air propelled by the exploding Toto. As she watched the kennel rise ever higher in the skies, she forgot about the rope she was holding, wrapped around her hand. It therefore came as something of a shock when Buffy pulled on the rope, yanking Dorothy over and directly into the flight path of the kennel.
Just before the kennel collided with her, Dorothy wondered if she'd wake up and find out this was all a dream.
SPLAT!
Buffy removed the now-slack rope from herself and walked over to the boots sticking out from beneath the kennel. Removing the boots from Dorothy's feet, she walked towards the house. "Ding Dong, the bi -"
And then she saw Oz, stood there, looking at her, tears welling in his eyes.
"Sorry, Oz. If you want revenge I'll understand."
Oz looked up wistfully at the full moon in the night sky. "Never going to happen. Willow made me normal."
Buffy made her way out, back to the van, and crossed The Witch Slayer off her list. It was the second name she'd crossed off - The Vampire Slayer had been the first. Just The Mad Slayer and The Pirate Slayer to go. And then Willow.