Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Harry Snape

Chapter Thirteen

Harry sighed as he parked the car. At fifteen, he'd gotten his Muggle driver's permit, and a year later he'd gotten his driver's licence. He liked driving, and was glad his Dad had allowed him to drive today. It had been a while since he'd been able to get behind the wheel of a car, and he'd missed it. It was relaxing. He couldn't exactly explain it, but he did enjoy the feeling driving gave him.

He glanced to his left to see Severus discreetly keeping an eye on him while he looked out the window. Both his parents had been keeping a close eye on him, but considering the past several months, he wasn't really surprised.

Today, he and Severus were going to the local Muggle mall. Harry didn't know why his Dad was so insistent on a day out, but he was. He'd been commenting on a day out since they'd returned home from Hogwarts. His mom had opted to stay home, claiming she had some work to do anyway, ("besides, you two boys need a day out by yourself," she'd also said).

Unbuckling his seatbelt with his Dad, they both locked and closed their doors and walked toward the mall's entrance. Severus had said he had some last minute Christmas shopping and was sure Harry did too, so it was the perfect place for a few hours of browsing.

Inside the mall Harry shrugged off his coat, leaving him in a long sleeve shirt and light sweater. Because of the weight he'd lost during his captivity, he still found himself more easily effected by the cold weather then normal; that, and the long sleeves provided him a cover for the small cuts on his arms, something he was sure his parents would quickly spot if he allowed his arms to be shown.

He'd done his best to control the urges to cut, more so at home then when at school. At school, he wasn't under extremely close watch by his parents and could get away with a little more. But at home, he wouldn't last ten minutes around his family before they noticed.

"Do you mind if we have a look through the book store?" Severus asked his son, breaking through his thoughts.

Harry nodded. "Sure."

They spent almost half an hour going through the book store. One trait he had gotten from Severus was his love for books and stories. He loved how you could get so caught up in a story, and guessing what would come next. It was rare that he would find a really good book - one where he just couldn't put it down - but when he did, he loved it. And that's what kept him so interested in them.

Harry had also ventured into online reading, but hadn't managed to convince his Dad to read from their muggle desktop computer at home. Severus always said, 'Computers lack texture.' When Harry had asked what he'd meant by that, Severus had needed to think a moment... one of the rare times he needed to think through something to explain something, and said 'The smell. They don't smell like a book. Memory has a lot to do with smell and books have that smell.' It had taken Harry a while to puzzle out what Severus had meant by that, but now it made sense. That didn't stop him from reading online though. If it could be read, and looked interesting, he wanted to read it.

Both he and his Dad had found a few books by the time they decided to leave the book store.

Passing the game store, Harry asked if they could stop inside for a moment. He knew Severus wasn't pleased with the Muggle game system but accepted it as part of their lives.

Their Mom, being Muggle born, had wanted to raise her children to be familiar with both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds. So their house was an interesting mix. They lived in the Muggle world, but their house was registered as having magical occupants. They had both Wizarding and Muggle things all over their house. Sometimes it could get annoying though, Harry thought. They always had to have forewarning when a Muggle would come to the house so they could put the Wizarding stuff away.

Harry quickly found a few games and paid for them with the money he'd saved up from allowances. He'd gotten a game for both Evan and Dale. When he'd finished, he rejoined Severus and they continued walking through the mall.

Harry could tell Severus wanted to strike up a conversation. He just didn't know about what.

"Have you gotten gifts for all your friends?" He finally asked, obviously disappointed he didn't say what he'd wanted.

"Almost. I still have to get Neville something. I was thinking about getting him a field guide to muggle plants or a care guide maybe. You know how he likes herbology, and he's commented on being interested in muggle plants," Harry elaborated, wondering where his Dad wanted to take this. He knew this wasn't what Severus wanted to discuss.

"You couldn't find something in the book store?" Severus enquired, looking a little surprised.

Harry shook his head, disappointed. "No. At least, nothing I was satisfied with."

"What if we try the Broken Spine Book Store?" Severus suggested.

"Can we?"

Severus nodded. "We'll stop by there after we've finished here..." the corners of his lips turned up a little in a smile, "that is, if you don't mind driving."

Harry grinned, pleased. "Sounds great!"

There was another pause. Again, Harry could tell that Severus wanted to talk again.

"You brought me out here to discuss something." It wasn't a question.

Severus nodded before confirming it with a soft "Yes."

"Then why don't you say what you have to say?" Harry asked, slightly annoyed. This definitely wasn't his Dad's best try at 'Let's talk to Harry.' And he didn't want to continue with the small talk while Severus figured out how to strike up whatever the obvious conversation was that he wanted to have.

"I don't quite know what to say or how to ask it," Severus admitted quietly as they neared the food court. He motioned for them to sit at an empty table. Harry stayed quiet, waiting for Severus to make the first move. Finally, after several moments he did.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. Harry immediately knew what he was doing. It was a distraction. His Dad needed more time to figure out what he wanted to say, how to begin whatever discussion he wanted to have. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, do you want anything?" Harry asked, standing up. At Severus' shake of the head, he looked around the food court at the different options he had. There were a few new eateries that hadn't been here the last time he'd come to the mall. Finally he decided on Asian Chow where they had one of his favorites, Bourbon Chicken. He made his way over there and waited in line to make his order. He knew full well he was being watched closely by his Dad.

Finally when he got his food and two drinks, he made his way back towards the table his Dad stood at. He was slightly grateful that his Dad didn't make any attempts to hide that he'd been watching him. Somehow, although he couldn't explain it, that made him feel better. Most people would have tried to hide it. Arriving at the table, he handed Severus one of the drinks and began to eat his lunch in silence, with only a few comments passing between him and his Dad.

Finally when he was halfway through his lunch, Severus cleared his throat and Harry looked up at him. When he spoke, it was clear; wether he still seemed unsure, or uncomfortable, Harry couldn't make up his mind.

"Are we okay?" Severus finally asked. "You and me. Are we okay?" He repeated, quietly. To those who didn't know him, it would look like a normal conversation. But Harry could see concern and uneasiness in his eyes. It was slightly disturbing to see.

When Harry was silent, Severus continued. "The past several months have been very difficult...you went from not talking to me, to coldly talking to me, to...how it is now." He paused again. "That didn't come out right." He ran a hand roughly through his hair.

"No." Harry finally spoke up. "I got what you said." He paused, not knowing how to say what he wanted. He really wasn't sure if he wanted to have this conversation. Silently he pushed his tray away. He wasn't hungry anymore.

"I don't know how to answer right," he answered, before copying his Dad's earlier movements by running a hand through his hair.

"Can you try?" Severus asked, looking concerned, but happy that Harry had answered. "Can you just explain what your thinking or feeling, or anything? I don't think there is a 'right' answer to give, other then what your going through..."

Harry shook his head and took to playing with the straw in his drink. He knew it was driving Severus crazy that he wasn't answering right away. He kind of wished the seat he was sitting in would swallow him whole so he wouldn't have to have this conversation, but he knew that was unlikely.

"I wish you'd have told me that I was adopted," he finally ground out, although he knew this would only result in repeating an earlier conversation of theirs.

"Maybe so," Severus conceded after a moment. He sighed. This wasn't the way he'd wanted the conversation to go. They'd discussed this before and that hadn't ended well. Harry had just angrily left the headmasters office. But it was obviously one of their current problems and it needed to be dealt with.

He looked up to see Harry looking at him; his emerald eyes, so closely matched to his mothers, held some anger and hurt in them.

"I had a right to know!" Harry finally hissed, brow creasing in anger.

Severus nodded. "I know. But for your mother and myself, it didn't change a thing. Your father - your biological father - was a good man and I was sad he'd passed. Many people lost a great friend that day, and you lost a great father."

"As I told you before, we married over a year later and that's when the adoption occurred. I never wanted to take James' place - his memory. I love your mother. And I'd fallen in love with you when I'd met you during a visit to Godric's Hollow."

"The decision not to tell you about your adoption came when you were about five. We had planned to tell you. We'd thought the Wizarding world would just move on and the story of the attack at Godric's Hollow would fade; but it never did. Had it become known you were Harry Potter, you'd have never had peace. People would have seen you in light of that ..."

"...but they see me in light of you being my father too," Harry argued. He didn't want to sound ashamed, because he wasn't. It had never been kept from him or his siblings from the time they could understand well enough about the prejudice against Death Eaters. They'd always been brought up to understand that not everyone would accept them because of their father's part in the war as a Death Eater, even though he was a spy.

"I know," Severus breathed. "But you know how people get when they hear the name 'Harry Potter.' It would have been worse had it gotten out." Harry nodded at that, but still didn't look happy.

"If you'd have told me, then I would have at least known. I wouldn't have told!" Answered Harry.

Severus sighed. "Maybe. But more likely then not, it would have gotten out. I know that right now you think it wouldn't. But you'd have told a friend. Or Evan or Sydney would have." Harry moved to interrupt him, but he held up his hand.

"I know you trust your friends. And I know Sydney and Evan trust theirs. But whoever they'd chosen to tell could, in a bout of anger or resentment, tell someone else. Then there would be no turning back. I know how that friend of yours is - Ronald Weasley. I know how jealous he's been at times, and some of the arguments you two have gotten in." Harry made another move to interrupt, and again he halted him. Severus could see that Harry was frustrated with what he was saying. "I know Weasley wouldn't hurt you intentionally. But people do things in anger. We didn't want to risk that."

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could understand where his Dad was coming from. But he also didn't think his friends would do that to him. But he also couldn't deny how Ron had acted when he'd been angry at Harry. He'd been irrational and had said things and let some things slip. Thankfully, it was nothing as large as Harry being Harry Potter. But he couldn't deny that at the times Ron had been angry, that he wouldn't have slipped that he was Harry Potter. Slowly, he nodded to show he understood. He still wished he'd have known he was adopted though.

"Are we okay?" Severus asked again. Harry looked up at him before giving a slight nod.

"Yeah." He paused, trying to get his thoughts in order. "I'm still mad that I wasn't told I was adopted. I had a right to know. But... you're still my Dad." He didn't know how else to say it. His Dad seemed to understand, for he nodded and asked if Harry was done, motioning to his lunch. Harry nodded and they stood.

They spent about an hour more browsing through the mall. Harry and Severus both managed to get a few Christmas gifts they'd needed to get. They left for the Broken Spine Book Store, and Harry gladly drove.

Harry was happy that they were able to find a suitable book on Muggle plants for Neville's Christmas gift. It was large, with almost nine hundred pages, complete with lots of information and pictures. Harry also found a book mark with a dried out leaf embedded in it.

They arrived home shortly after that. Harry was eager to get the gifts wrapped, even though they had over a week and a half till Christmas. He was too tired from they're walk around the mall to really do anything else. He knew he should probably take a nap, but ever since he and his parent's had come home, he'd been taking a nap every afternoon and going to bed rather early. He knew he was still recovering from his 'ordeal', as everyone had dubbed it, but he wanted to get to more of a normal sleeping routine.

He was glad, however, to be told by his Dad that his hands were healed enough, to stop wrapping them constantly. It gave him more movement with them, which was nice.

When they'd come home his Mom had been waiting and had since gone and talked with his Dad.

"So how did your trip to the mall go?" Lily asked, as she handed Severus a cup of warm tea and took her own. He sipped his before answering.

"It went well, I think. We did manage to get most of the Christmas gifts. We had to stop at the Broken Spine Book Store to get Longbottom's gift."

"You know that's not what I meant!" Lily said, as she playfully hit his arm. The edges of his lips twitched up in an almost smile. "Good to know, though."

"We talked some. I asked about our relationship - where we stand," he elaborated. "He said we're okay, but he is defiantly angry that he wasn't informed of his adoption. I tried explaining, and I think he understood. But I doubt that lessened much of his anger about it. Rightfully so, I think now."

"But if it had gotten out... if it still got out...there would be no escaping it for him. He wouldn't be left alone at school. Evan, Sydney and Dale wouldn't be left alone."

"I know that. I explained that to him. But he does have the right to be angered by not knowing who his real father is," Severus answered, taking a deep breath.

Lily knew it hurt him to admit that. To him, Harry was his child. He knew that Harry's biological father was James. But when he'd adopted Harry, he'd made a promise to raise him as his own child - which he did.

"James may have biologically fathered Harry. But you raised him. You know James wouldn't begrudge you the title of Harry's father."

Severus looked her in the eyes, only seeing determination, and he sighed. "I know this, Lily. I know," he repeated. Curbing the discussion, he continued. "Anyway, Harry said something to the same effect. To me though, he still seems unsure."

"That's understandable," Lily commented quietly, looking into the living room where Harry was sitting on the floor, surrounded by wrapping paper and other trinkets, the gifts he had for his friends.

Severus spoke up, making her face him again. "You won't be able to see your gift from here, you know." She snorted, amused, knowing what he was doing. He was trying to lighten the mood they were both in.

"I know. He's not dumb enough to wrap either of our gifts while we can see him." She set her now empty cup on the counter.

End of Chapter Thirteen

10/11/06

A/N: Hello again. I'm sorry it's been so long since my last update to this story. Life's been busy. This chapter was meant to be much longer. And I've already got some of the next chapter written (because it was meant for this chapter too) but didn't fit if I left it where it was.

Note: There's a almost quote from a TV series somewhere in this chapter. I did not origonally create this quote. Can anyone guess what show? I will post the resault in the next chapter posting.

Thank you soo much to Nita, the amazing betareader. You've been amazing and I really appreciate it!

Life Changed : The next chapter is planned out. And I just need to type it out. I hope to have it up after I get a few more chapters of Harry Snape in.

Story Recommendation: I recently read a very good Harry Potter fan fiction story. It's called The Human Condition by C.K. Talons. The story is about Harry, at age 24. I won't say anymore because I don't want to give anything away. But it is very good; I really enjoyed reading it and thought I'd tell anyone interested.