A/N: I don't own Pokemon, blah blah blah.

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"HELP! Someone, please HELP!"

"What is it, your smelliness?" Eevee said to the very bad-smelling Cleffable.

"Oh, it's TERRIBLE! My little Haku got stuck in that bush!!" She shrieked.

"I'm just picking thorns to throw at the neighbor, mom." The Cleffa said, her little tail poking out from in the bush, probably either to bend down or show her behind to her mom.

"Will you please rescue my little Haku?! Can't you see she's in PERIL??"

"Goddammit, mom, will you shut up already? I'm just getting some thorns." This time, her head poked out, but it was strange: either an extremely large amount of body-dye was applied, or it was naturally black-colored. Most probably the former. The Cleffable continued to shriek. Haku sighed. "You see what I have to go through every single damned day." She disappeared into the bushes again.

"OH MY GOD SHE'S LOST AGAIN!! Don't worry, Honey, a rescue team's here!!" The Cleffable continued to shout.

"What?!" Eevee said.

"Err, we're not exactly a rescue team, ma'am." Caroline tried to explain.

"Well, we could become one!" Nagaoryu offered.

"That would be kind of cool, don't you think?" Kevin piped up.

"Okay! Our first rescue mission! Great!" Caroline happily said.

"Bums…" Eevee mumbled under its breath.

The rescue team got to work(or, sort of). They perilously walked over to the bush. Oh, no! Kevin almost tripped over that pebble!! Watch out for that Mailbox, it might be dangerous!! That was close, that blade of grass almost KO'd Nagaoryu!! After a long, hard journey across the 20-foot backyard, they reached the bush.

"Your mom wants you." Eevee said.

"Don't you think I'd know that already?!" Haku snapped.

"Then why don't you go over there?" Nagaoryu asked.

"She's a nut, shouldn't you know that already?"

"We'll let you join our rescue teeeam♪!!" Kevin piped up, which earned a glare from Haku so nasty it made her hide behind Eevee, trembling.

"How about you do me a favor: get me 200 Poison Spikes, and then we'll talk." Haku offered. The smiles and looks from the team made Haku cringe. "Just hurry up and stop acting so gay."

The Team got to picking. Once again carefully avoiding the very dangerous lawn objects, they eventually managed to gather a total of 208 Poison Spikes, which Haku snatched up. She then proceeded to throwing them at the neighbor and laughing nastily when he writhed and shrieked in agony.

"Erm…your mom, remember?" Kevin said.

"Whatever." Haku said, stepping down from her stool, which she needed to see over the 3-foot hedge that bordered the backyards. Her mom was now spewing nonsense from her mouth in a volume no one would ever think a Cleffable could accomplish.

"I WENT TO BUY SOME ORANGE GOATS BUT THEY TURNED INTO BANANAS AND THEN I SPIT ON MY MOM BUT SHE YELLOWED HER WAY INTO THAT MOUSE'S HORSE OF COATS WHICH HAD APPLES ON THEM AND WENT TO DUNGEONS IN CASE ANYONE FARTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND TIN WAS NOT VALUABLE IN SALSA—"

"Mom."

"HAWAII!!" The Cleffable said.

"It's "Haku", mom, and I don't even like my name."

"WHATEVER!!" She turned to the Unnamed Team, which took a couple steps back, afraid of what she might attempt to do. "Thank you SO much for rescuing Holland."

"Mom, it's "Haku"—"

"Let's see what I have as a reward." She walked up to her house, which looked chubby, if that was possible. When she opened the door, a stream of Poke burst out. It took a few minutes for it to finally die down. After about a minute, she finally said, "I don't think I have anything to give you. I'll just have to give you HERBY!"

"Mom, I don't want to join any damn Rescue Team!" Haku protested.

"Well, if that's what you want, I know you'll be bored all summer not doing anything, so I'm going to the Mental Institution…"

Haku did a happy dance, which no one expected her to know how to do.

"…And I'm bringing you along! I can see you're enthusiastic about it already!"

"OKAY MOM THAT'S GOOD NOW GOOD-BYE FOREVER!!" Haku hurriedly said, pulling all four Pokemon of the Unnamed Team by any appendage possible at an extremely fast rate.

"We completed our first rescue mission, yay!" Shouted Kevin.

"High-Five!" Caroline said, and all the Pokemon(excluding Eevee and Haku, who exchanged glances)did a high-five to each other.

"We should get our rescue badges, and a team base, and a mailbox, and—" Nagaoryu stopped dead in his hyperactive tracks, realizing something.

"You finally shut up! God." Haku commented.

"You know, I wonder why." Eevee said, but not asked.

"Our Team Name! We need one!" Nagaoryu exclaimed, holding his arms up.

"Thanks, Eevee." Haku sarcastically said, glaring at Eevee.

"Put your arms down, you reek." Eevee said to Nagaoryu, trying to avoid the subject.

"Yeah, a Team Name!" Kathy enthusiastically said. She then realized she had been acting like a total superfluous character, and because of her Main Character status, she needed to speak more.

"Lollipop!" Piped up Kevin.

"Dragon!" Offered Caroline.

"How about "Team Idiots"." Haku sarcastically said.

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Kathy shouted, already doing better. Haku let out a scream of being-tortured-with-non-gothic-people.

"You know, I've always wondered…" Eevee started, "Why is your name Haku? I mean, Haku means white, and it's a boy's name, right?"

Haku sadly nodded her head.

"I feel your pain…" Kevin glumly mumbled. This was the first time any of the other five Pokemon had heard her say anything unhappily. She then turned around and screamed, "WHY DID YOU NAME ME KEVIN?! WHAIIEEEEEEEEEE?!?!" as if there were some being watching over her, controlling all her movements, and listening to everything she said.

A voice that sounded like it came from behind a wall of glass said, "Because it's cute!" but no one paid any attention to it. They just vowed to get revenge on the programmer someday for not paying any attention to gender.

"Then it's settled!!" Caroline enthusiastically piped up, obviously trying to change the mood and the subject, even though Kevin was sobbing loudly. "We are now Team Idiots!!"

"I'm starting to wonder if I should have stayed with my mom…" Haku muttered.

"What was that?" Nagaoryu asked.

"I said Team Idiots is a very good name for all of you." Haku spat.

"I'm glad you think so!" Said Kathy, proving that no one in the team but Eevee and Haku understood the true meaning of what Haku had just said. Haku buried her head in her hands and screamed.

"Tomorrow, we'll have a team base, and all that stuff, and our team will finally be coming along! Then, we'll start doing rescue missions!!" Caroline shouted. The four non-goth Pokemon nodded their heads excitedly, while Eevee and Haku just mumbled something incomprehensible and probably inappropriate for this story.