Not Another Au Chat Fic!

by Axrahs

Yes, it is a chatroom sort of fanfic that is half AU and half not. Lulu tries to kill Wakka, Auron has a secret website, and Paine is really a guy. Trying to be funny, but sense of humor is perverted and lame. Lots of yaoi references, straight ones, too.

It ate my underscores. So just act like the chatnames have underscores.

The Disclaimer I Didn't Have in My Last Fic: I do not own Final Fantasy X or X-2. I do own my insanity, though. Or rather, it owns me, but I'm rambling again... Don't sue me.. plz...

I have a really lame sense of humor. And I won't be surprised if posting this gets me banned or ignored completely or something. If you all hate me, that's ok, too, I guess.

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Yuna is GunnerGurl87

Rikku is MasterThief321

Paine is NotReallyAGirl56

Gippal is GeekSquad77

Nooj is K33LMeh666

Baralai is YevonPwns99

Lulu is ICurseJ00

Wakka is Auron1Fan

Tidus is DreamComeTrue45

Auron is ZombiesRSexy

GunnerGurl87 has signed on

MasterThief321 has signed on

GunnerGurl87: OMG Rikku!

MasterThief321: Hiya Yunie! What?

GunnerGurl87: I just found out that Paine is really a guy!

MasterThief321: OMG no way! What about Baralai??

GunnerGurl87: He died.

MasterThief321: Oh well.

GunnerGurl87: So how is Gippal?

MasterThief321: Great :) :) :)

GunnerGurl87: I meant how is he doing?

MasterThief321: Yeah he does great :) :) :)

DreamComeTrue45 has signed on

DreamComeTrue45: yeah i do

MasterThief321: I was talking about Gippal

GunnerGurl87: Hi Tidus

DreamComeTrue45: yuna tell rikku that i do great

GunnerGurl87: I wouldn't know!!

DreamComeTrue45: yeah u would it was just last night

ZombiesRSexy has signed on

ZombiesRSexy: Yuna you whore

GunnerGurl87: I'm not a whore!

DreamComeTrue45: yeah you are

MasterThief321: Seymour said you were when he caught you with Wakka.

GunnerGurl87 has signed off

MasterThief321: You're mean, Auron.

DreamComeTrue45: yeah auron

ZombiesRSexy: No I'm not. She is a whore. I saw her with Paine last night.

DreamComeTrue45: so that's why she went so fast and kicked me out

MasterThief321: So that's how she knew Paine was a guy!

DreamComeTrue45: u didnt know paine was a guy

ZombiesRSexy: Moron

DreamComeTrue45: y was she w/paine last night

ZombiesRSexy: Because she's a whore

MasterThief321: Wait Auron why were you at her house last night?

ZombiesRSexy: I wasn't.

DreamComeTrue45: how did u know she was wif paine

ZombiesRSexy: Why don't you know how to type?

MasterThief321: OMFG

DreamComeTrue45: omg wat rikku

MasterThief321: Paine is knocking on the front door!!

ZombiesRSexy: How do you know it's knocking?

MasterThief321: OMFG PAINE IS MOLESTING MY DOORKNOB!!!!!!

MasterThief321 has signed off

ZombiesRSexy: Duty calls

DreamComeTrue45: wat

ZombiesRSexy has signed off

DreamComeTrue45: zombies r so not sexy

Auron1Fan has signed in

Auron1Fan: Yes they are, ya!

DreamComeTrue45: well ur stupid wakka

Auron1Fan: No I'm not, ya! You're mean, Tidus, ya!

DreamComeTrue45: i kno where ur auron shrine is

Auron1Fan: No you don't, ya! I hid it well, ya!

Auron1Fan: And I don't have an Auron shrine, ya!!

DreamComeTrue45: sure u dont

NotReallyAGirl56 has signed on

Auron1Fan: Who is that, ya?

DreamComeTrue45: idk but their name is funny

NotReallyAGirl56: Go to hell, Wakka.

Auron1Fan: That was mean, ya! What did I ever do to you, ya!?

DreamComeTrue45: haha wakka u just got dissed u retard

NotReallyAGirl56: You can go there, too, Tidus.

DreamComeTrue45: i got kicked out. they wont let me back in

Auron1Fan: Really, ya? Why, ya?

NotReallyAGirl56: He tried to molest the devil.

DreamComeTrue45: How did you know?

NotReallyAGirl56: Doesn't take a brain surgeon.

Auron1Fan: Oh! I tried to be one of them, ya? I got fired, ya!

DreamComeTrue45: well yeah ur stupid wakka

NotReallyAGirl56: You both are.

Auron1Fan: Who are you, ya?

DreamComeTrue45: duh wakka not really a girl

Auron1Fan: Well ya, I know that, ya!

NotReally-AGirl56: Don't ask stupid questions, Wakka.

DreamComeTrue45: yeah wakka

Auron1Fan: Why is everyone being so mean to me, ya!?!?

NotReallyAGirl56: Because nobody likes you. You're a weirdly religious loser.

DreamComeTrue45: lulu is stupid 4 liking u

Auron1Fan: YOU GUYS ARE MEAN, YA???

DreamComeTrue45: dont u 'ya' me!

Auron1Fan has signed off

K33LMeh666 has signed on

DreamComeTrue45: so paine i thought u were molesting rikkus doorknob

NotReallyAGirl56: You knew who I was?

DreamComeTrue45: yeah every1 knos u arent a girl

NotReallyAGirl56: They're on to me!!

NotReallyAGirl56 has signed off

K33LMeh666: What was that?

DreamComeTrue45: o dat was paine

K33LMeh666: She isn't a girl?

DreamComeTrue45: no

K33LMeh666: I thought something was off…

DreamComeTrue45: well ya i mean i heard u 2 last night

K33LMeh666: I have no idea what you are talking about.

DreamComeTrue45: u r nooj rite

K33LMeh666: Yes.

DreamComeTrue45: yeah u were at the apartment next door i heard u and paine

K33LMeh666: You live next door to Paine?

DreamComeTrue45: no

DreamComeTrue45: oh dats rite i live next door to yuna

K33LMeh666: Paine was at Yuna's house?

DreamComeTrue45: yeah but i swear i heard ur name somewhere

K33LMeh666: I haven't seen Yuna since high school.

DreamComeTrue45: she was hot in high school

K33LMeh666: Yeah she was.

GunnerGurl87 has signed on

ICurseJ00 has signed on

GunnerGurl87: You're STILL on, Tidus?

K33LMeh666: You're TIDUS??

DreamComeTrue45: ya :) :)

ICurseJ00: I have finally succeeded in halfway killing Wakka!

GunnerGurl87: Nooooo! He never paid me!

K33LMeh666: Why didn't you kill him before?

ICurseJ00: Rikku kept getting in the way.

DreamComeTrue45: so just kill rikku 2

K33LMeh666: Yeah.

ICurseJ00: I did.

K33LMeh666: YES:) :) :) :)

GunnerGurl87: No you didn't. I just talked to her.

K33LMeh666: DAMMIT:( :( :( :(

DreamComeTrue45: hey how come u dont like rikku nooj

K33LMeh666: Paine goes missing a lot. I always find her with Rikku's doorknob.

GunnerGurl87: Rikku called my house saying something about Paine and needing help, and Auron was there, too.

ICurseJ00: Well I've killed her five times already. And Hahaha Wakka is screaming in beautiful AGONY!!

K33LMeh666: You scare me.

DreamComeTrue45: paine scares me more

GunnerGurl87: I can hear screaming, but it's not agony.

DreamComeTrue45: its just gippal and rikku again

GunnerGurl87: They're really loud.

DreamComeTrue45: my whole apartment is shaking

ICurseJ00: What happened to Baralai?

GunnerGurl87: He died.

K33LMeh666: Hahahaha that loser. Now me and the Youth League shall take over the world!

DreamComeTrue45: ur a loser nooj

K33LMeh666: No I'm not!

GunnerGurl87: No he's not!

ICurseJ00: Are you CRYING, Nooj?

K33LMeh666: no

ICurseJ00: You live next door and I can hear you crying and saying "He called me a loser!"

GunnerGurl87: Nooj doesn't cry!

K33LMeh666: That's right!

ICurseJ00: Well I can still hear you. Over Wakka's cries of agony, that is.

GunnerGurl87: What did you do to him?

ICurseJ00: I pushed him off a cliff, then cast Firaga on him. He broke his legs and now he's hardly identifiable.

DreamComeTrue45: how do u kno hes really wakka

ICurseJ00: You're right. I should push him into a swimming pool and cast Thundaga.

ICurseJ00 has signed off

DreamComeTrue45: dats not wat i meant but cool

GunnerGurl87: She's scary sometimes.

K33LMeh666: So is Paine.

GunnerGurl87: You would know.

K33LMeh666: I would :) :) :) :)

DreamComeTrue45: rikku just called

GunnerGurl87: Really? Why?

K33LMeh666: She died:) : ) :) :)

DreamComeTrue45: no

K33LMeh666:( :( :( :( :( :(

DreamComeTrue45: she said 2 stop singing its throwin off her…somethin i couldnt hear the last word

K33LMeh666: You're singing?

GunnerGurl87: Yeah he is. I can hear him over here.

DreamComeTrue45: u ppl dont kno real music

GunnerGurl87: Is that Lulu?

DreamComeTrue45: yeah! shes skipping down the hall singing

GunnerGurl87: Wring wring wring your throat as you cry and scream…merrily merrily merrily merrily Wakka's dead so sing

DreamComeTrue45: it sounds like row ur boat

K33LMeh666: I like that song.

DreamComeTrue45: me too but i like lulus version better

K33LMeh666: Lulu lives in the same apartment complex as you guys?

GunnerGurl87: No she lives in the one across the street.

K33LMeh666: So why is she over there?

DreamComeTrue45: who knows

ZombiesRSexy has signed on

DreamComeTrue45: hey auron ur back

ZombiesRSexy: Yes. I have to download my video camera onto my computer so I can post it on my website.

GunnerGurl87: You have a website?

K33LMeh666: You are Auron?

ZombiesRSexy: Yes.

DreamComeTrue45: wats ur website

ZombiesRSexy: Why do you want to know?

K33LMeh666: I want to know what's on that camera.

ZombiesRSexy: I bet you do.

GunnerGurl87: Why did Rikku call me earlier begging for help?

ZombiesRSexy: Hell if I know

GunnerGurl87: She said something about you.

ZombiesRSexy: Oh yes she wants me

DreamComeTrue45: u wish

GunnerGurl87: Judging by the sounds coming from next door, I think she's pretty happy with whoever is in there with her.

K33LMeh666 has signed off

DreamComeTrue45: i found ur website auron

ZombiesRSexy: How do you know it's my website?

DreamComeTrue45: it says 'aurons porn' in really big letters

GunnerGurl87: Auron you sicko!

ZombiesRSexy: That's not my website!

DreamComeTrue45: yes it is

DreamComeTrue45: it says 'this is my website. –auron'

ZombiesRSexy: errrr….

ZombiesRSexy has signed off

DreamComeTrue45: hey yuna were on here!!

GunnerGurl87: WHAT!?!?!

MasterThief321 has signed on

DreamComeTrue45: hey rikku ur on here 2

GunnerGurl87: RIKKU! AURON HAS A PORN WEBSITE!

MasterThief321: I know. Gippal found it.

GunnerGurl87: That's disgusting!

MasterThief321: You're on it. Several times. With different guys.

GunnerGurl87: It's a LIE! A LIE I TELL YOU!!

DreamComeTrue45: ill send u the link yuna

….

GunnerGurl87: I was NEVER in that position!!!

MasterThief321: Wow. Apparently you were.

GunnerGurl87: It's impossible!

MasterThief321: No it's not.

DreamComeTrue45: u and gippal tried it rite

MasterThief321: Hell yeah

GeekSquad77has signed on

DreamComeTrue45: who is dat

GeekSquad77: Gippal.

MasterThief321: Gippal!!!!!!!!!!

GeekSquad77: Hey sexy

MasterThief321: Hey love monkey

DreamComeTrue45: hey yuna y dont u call me anythin

GunnerGurl87: Get real.

MasterThief321: That's not nice Yuna

GeekSquad77: Yeah Yuna

GunnerGurl87: Oh everyone just leave me alone! First I get called a whore and now this!!

GeekSquad77: But you are a whore.

MasterThief321: Yeah you live next door remember? I heard you last night.

GeekSquad77: So did I.

DreamComeTrue45: yeah u kicked me out 4 paine…

GeekSquad77: Yeah that's sick, Yuna.

MasterThief321: Totally.

GunnerGurl87: YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!!

GunnerGurl87 has signed off

GeekSquad77: FINALLY!

DreamComeTrue45: i think I shud go check on her

MasterThief321: Hey Gippal I think you should come check on me :) :) :)

GeekSquad77: I think I should.

MasterThief321 has signed off

GeekSquad77 has signed off

DreamComeTrue45: im all alone

DreamComeTrue45: theres no 1 here beside me

DreamComeTrue45: except auron

DreamComeTrue45: wait how did auron get here

DreamComeTrue45 has signed off

YevonPwns99 has signed on

YevonPwns99: …

YevonPwns99: Am I late?

Auron1Fan has signed on

NotReallyAGirl56 has signed on

Auron1Fan: Hey hey, ya!

NotReallyAGirl56: You again?

YevonPwns99: Hello

NotReallyAGirl56: Hello, Baralai.

YevonPwns99: PAINE??!?!?

Auron1Fan: I thought you were dead, ya Baralai?

YevonPwns99: The Farplane has internet service.

Auron1Fan: Makes sense, ya? Auron has internet, too, ya!

NotReallyAGirl56: And you would be the one to know.

Auron1Fan: Ya, ya!!

YevonPwns99: I thought you were dead, Wakka.

Auron1Fan: Nope. Only half dead. Lu's evil, ya.

NotReallyAGirl56: That's what makes her so sexy.

YevonPwns99: That's really creepy.

NotReallyAGirl56: So is Auron and his porn website.

YevonPwns99: He got you on there, too?

Auron1Fan: Auron has a porn website, ya?

NotReallyAGirl56: I thought you would be the first to know.

YevonPwns99: Yeah

Auron1Fan: I have failed in my fandom!!

YevonPwns99!!!

NotReallyAGirl56!!!

Auron1Fan: Ya!

YevonPwns99: Scared me for a second.

NotReallyAGirl56: Me too.

GunnerGurl87 has signed on

MasterThief321 has signed on

GeekSquad77 has signed on

K33LMeh666 has signed on

ICurseJ00 has signed on

Auron1Fan has signed on

DreamComeTrue45 has signed on

ZombiesRSexy has signed on

YevonPwns99: Well that's weird.

NotReallyAGirl56: I know.

Auron1Fan: Sir Auron ya! I love you, ya!

ZombiesRSexy: Errrr….

ICurseJ00: WAKKA!! I WILL FIND YOU!!!

Auron1Fan: Shit, ya?

DreamComeTrue45: u said it

GunnerGurl87: Hi Lulu, Wakka, Auron, and Baralai.

YevonPwns99: You owe me money, Yuna!

K33LMeh666: Baralai, you whore.

NotReallyAGirl56: Noojie!!

K33LMeh666: Painey!!

MasterThief321: Scary!!

GeekSquad77: You're so sexy when you say that Rikku.

MasterThief321: I know.

ZombiesRSexy: You're sexy when you say anything.

GeekSquad77: Back the fk off, cadaver!

YevonPwns99: That's not nice.

DreamComeTrue45: yeah cadavers r sexy

Auron1Fan: Totally, ya?

GunnerGurl87: Lulu, can I borrow your whip?

ICurseJ00: What? Why?

GunnerGurl87: …because…

DreamComeTrue45: u have a whip lulu

Auron1Fan: Yeah she does, ya! But she's demented, ya!

ICurseJ00: Shut up Wakka!! Or not. I'm tracing the signal of your computer.

Auron1Fan: Shit ya

Auron1Fan has signed off

ICurseJ00 has signed off

K33LMeh666: He curses a lot.

ZombiesRSexy: So what?

NotReallyAGirl56: How dare you question him!

K33LMeh666: Cursing is so immature.

NotReallyAGirl56: I totally agree.

GunnerGurl87: Paine, I just heard you cuss.

NotReallyAGirl56: How?

DreamComeTrue45: yah how

MasterThief321: She's in the hall.

GeekSquad77: Yeah. She hit her toe on Rikku's door.

K33LMeh666: Paine! Again?!

NotReallyAGirl56: I can't help it! The door is sexeh!

DreamComeTrue45: it really is

GunnerGurl87: Tidus that's disgusting

ZombiesRSexy: Shut up, Yuna. I have a recording of you and Nooj's door.

K33LMeh666: Stay away from my door!

MasterThief321: sdfjblsjrhtg
GunnerGurl87: Rikku?

DreamComeTrue45: have i mentiond theyre loud?

MasterThief321 has signed off

GeekSquad77 has signed off

DreamComeTrue45: jeez and they were just at it 2

GunnerGurl87: Seriously. You'd think they'd get tired.

ZombiesRSexy: Well, they don't, and it keeps me employed and entertained.

ZombiesRSexy has signed off

K33LMeh666: That's really weird.

NotReallyAGirl56: You said it.

DreamComeTrue45: hey u 2 r on here

K33LMeh666: Where?

DreamComeTrue45: aurons website. ur the featured video of the day

GunnerGurl87: Tidus, why are you on that site?

DreamComeTrue45: ….

NotReallyAGirl56: Hey! I just won a plushie!

GunnerGurl87: Awesome! What is it?

NotReallyAGirl56: It's a Nooj plushie!

K33LMeh666: …

DreamComeTrue45: lol paine u have a laptop?

NotReallyAGirl56: Yes. How do you think I can be here and in the hall at the same time?

NotReallyAGirl56: Yay! Rikku gave me her doorknob!

K33LMeh666: Paine, I think you should check on my door…

NotReallyAGirl56: Right away!

NotReallyAGirl56 has signed off

K33LMeh666 has signed off

GunnerGurl87: Hey, what happened to Baralai?

DreamComeTrue45: totally

YevonPwns99: Sorry, I was fighting off Seymour .

GunnerGurl87: ..?

DreamComeTrue45: he tried to molest u didnt he?

YevonPwns99: I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE

GunnerGurl87: But you're dead.

DreamComeTrue45: i wasnt scarred i let him

DreamComeTrue45: and how did u die baralai

YevonPwns99: I found out that Paine was not really a girl.

GunnerGurl87: He died of shock, Tidus.

DreamComeTrue45: oic

DreamComeTrue45: o hey seymour is here

DreamComeTrue45 has signed off

GunnerGurl87: So then…

YevonPwns99: How did Seymour get out of the Farplane?

GunnerGurl87: I dunno

YevonPwns99: Yuna, your father is a psychopath.

GunnerGurl87: Why?

YevonPwns99: He's stabbing a bunny plushie while laughing maniacally and screaming "You'll never take me alive!"

GunnerGurl87: Oh. He used to do that all the time. It made me cry. I loved my bunny plushies…

YevonPwns99: Seymour is back

YevonPwns99 has signed off

GunnerGurl87: That means Tidus is free…

GunnerGurl87 has signed off

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I told you. My sense of humor is extremely lame and perverted... in a lame way. And Tidus has a horrible typing ability on purpose. Yesh. It's a personality thing I guess.