Pokemon: Retarded Dungeon Chapter 4: Articuno to Zap'doss, a pokémon fanfic

A/N I don't own Pokemon.

Also, for anyone that didn't get the "Armed Arbok" joke(when it said "stuck his arm in the mailbox", but Arbok doesn't have any arms. It's a joke).

Thanks Angstic Articuno for spelling corrections, and for those that don't know by now:

This story is very random. A lot of details will be missed or unnecessarily filled in, or the plot may advance either too quickly or too slowly. If this annoys you, go read Irochigai Densetsu or something.

And in case you were wondering, Caroline and Nagaoryu are based off my Mystery Dungeon team, while Kevin and Eevee were based off of my friend's. Kathy(Kathleen)was based off of us combined, and Haku is completely my creation.

I just, you know, messed them up a little.

…And no, I am neither a fan nor dislike the Beatles.

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"Are we there yet?" Kathy whined.

"No." Haku answered.

"Are we there yet?" Kevin complained.

"No.

"Are we there yet?" Caroline prodded.

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!" Haku yelled. "We've only been traveling for 4 DAMN MINUTES! We're not even GOING anywhere, we're just trying to escape Team Goober and those other idiots."

"Oh." Everyone said in unison.

"Are we there yet?" Nagaoryu pressed. Haku turned on her heel, and marched over to Nagaoryu and started choking him, this time by hand.

"Haku, please set him down!" Eevee said. "I hate him too, but we can always ditch him if a bunch of enemies show up!"

Haku threw him down and tore a sharp look at Eevee. "Wuss."

"Well, where are we?" Kathy asked.

"Wow, the scenery appears to have dramatically changed in the past minute." Caroline the Chikorita noted. Nagaoryu the Totodile was still rubbing his neck. "The author appears to be pretty careless and impatient, too, so we must be approaching a climactic point in the story. They probably either catch us, or we meet a legendary Pokemon and continue our journey that ends up being meaningless and we all die in vain." Everyone blinked. "Or…we continue walking."

And so they did, ignoring the obvious breaking of the fourth wall.

"Geez, is it me, or is it getting bitterly cold?" Said Eevee.

"You." Haku snapped, quick to answer because of her goth-ness.

"No, look! It's a giant MOUND!" Nagaoryu said, pointing to an anthill.

"And there's a giant MOUNTAIN!" Kathy said, pointing to the more-than-obvious mountain in front of them.

"We should go inside, although it's probably dangerous and we'll probably be tortured for the rest of our lives." Caroline noted. Haku grinned and nodded at the thought of her team getting tortured. So, regardless that it was about the worst option to do at the moment, they all went inside.

There was one room, and almost right next to Kathy were the stairs. So she walked over there, and went up.

"Wow, we're at the peak already?"

"Strange, don't you think?" Asked Eevee.

"It's because of rent." Answered a large, blue bird that no one had noticed, which was actually highly surprising because of its size. "I didn't have enough Poke to get Mt.Freeze, so I had to settle for this."

"Oh. Okay." Caroline said.

"So how are you guys doing? Do you want some cookies and milk, or something?" It asked.

"Nah, we're okay." Kevin answered. "It's kind of cold in here, you know?"

"Yes. I like it cold, you see."

"Yeah, well…" Haku started, "TOO BAD! Make it warmer!"

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PRECIOUS COLD!" The blue bird snapped. "I AM ARTICUNO, AND I WILL KILL YOU ALL!"

"Nice going, Haku." Eevee snapped.

The bird advanced, and what followed was an action scene too boring to be described. In the end, Articuno got its blue butt kicked.

"Wow, that was easier than I thought," Nagaoryu noted.

"THAT'S IT WARM NOW!!" Kevin yelled, apparently more hot-impatient than Haku. She started spewing flames, and turned the bitter winter into a nice summer. Taillow started chirping, Wurmple started climbing the trees, and the Beatles started playing a song in the background.

"Wh-what did you DO?!" Articuno said, half-marveled and half-disgusted at how a tiny Torchic could completely change the entire scenery.

"Kevin used Sunny Day," Eevee explained.

"NOOOOUUUU I'm MEEEEELTIIIIIIINGGGG!!!" And like that, the Articuno dissolved into a puddle of water like any average snowman, probably never to be seen again in canon anyway.

"…I'm bored let's move." Nagaoryu said, Caroline knowing him well for getting bored easily.

"But can't we put the water in a bottle or something?" Asked Caroline, always being conservative when it came to items. "It might be important later on."

"Shut up, if the croc wants to go, the croc wants to go." Said Haku, also bored because of her goth-ness. Caroline quickly scooped up the water and caught up with the rest of the group.

After a lot of meaningless scenes, most including Shoehorns, the group reached a normal-looking mountain.

"I THINK THEY'RE OVER THERE!" One of the outside-of-team-idiots idiots shouted.

"LET'S GET THE ALIENS!" Another shouted. Team Idiots had to pick up the pace, and go to the mountain.

This time, there were a good amount of rooms. Suddenly, a Dodrio appeared.

"Hi, what's your name—" Kathy started.

"KILL!" It responded.

"Kill? That's an odd name."

"KILL!"

"Yes I KNOW your name is Kill. My name is Kathy, and—"

"KILL!" It attacked Kathy.

"Why did you do that, Kill?"

"KILL!" It continued attacking Kathy. She used scratch, and the bird flashed then disappeared.

"Good-bye, Kill!" She chirped. As the group made their way to the stairs, they encountered a lot of other Pokemon "named Kill". Nonetheless, they reached…

It was pretty much the same, but with items. The group found money, a Persim Band, and an Apple.

The same but with money.

"Mew!"

"Kathy, this stupid pink cat won't get away from me!!"

"Mew mewmewmew mew?"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Haku killed it.

F5, F6, F7, and F8 were all pretty boring.

Kathy and her team walked over to the stairs, when suddenly thunder struck it.

"WHOA!!" Everyone yelled. They stared at the spot where the stairs were in disbelief, it was replaced by a scorched spot on the ground.

Blink.

"Err…?!" Eevee didn't know what to say. No one did. Whatever was on top of the mountain had finally wizened up, and destroyed the stairs.

"…"

"I have an idea!" Kevin piped up. "Let's all stand on each other's shoulders, and then Kathy will get upstairs!"

"What about us?" Everyone else except Kathy asked.

"When she goes upstairs, the whole team goes up as well." Kevin explained.

They tried the plan, and, unsurprisingly due to story continuation, it worked.

F10

"We're at the peak!" Caroline shouted, almost not believing it.

"HOLD IT!"

"?"

A giant, black-and-yellow bird descended. "It's me, yo! ZAP'D-OSS!"

"That's now how you spell your name," Nagaoryu observed.

"Whatevah, foo'! Now if y'all think yuar-gonna pass here, y'all DEAD WRONG, y'hear?"

"Why are you talking like a rapper?" Haku asked, annoyed by it.

"'Cause I wanta, foo'! Now are y'all gonna haveta hava DANCE-OFF if ya think y'all gonna pass, y'hear?"

"Whatever…" Eevee said, boredly.

"THAZZ RIGHT, FOO'S!" Even though it was physically impossible(due to them being on a mountain, and therefore outside), a disco ball descended. "Now prepare to get ZAP'D, little-foo's!"

The Zap'd-oss worked it like no one had ever seen one work it before. He twisted, turned, and swayed in a strange and yet entertainable fashion.

"Kathy should go up, she's the leader." Haku said, not wanting to dance more than anyone on the mountain. Everyone agreed.

"This is too weird for me…" Kathy said. She quicksaved, and went to the unknown dungeon.

She was in the Local Dungeon. After some searching, she found a strange item.

And this item was the key to their victory against "Zap'd-oss".