"Full Contact Ping Pong"
Peter, the newscaster, stares silently into the camera. He clears his throat and begins after the ok. "Today is a pivotal moment in sports. The annual ping-pong tournament will be held today at Madison Square Gardens. Who is the greatest star Barbara Streisand once asked? Will it be Sonny Corinthos or Alexis Davis? Take care of yourself and each other."
Jax kicks his feet up on the coffee table while Brenda slumps down onto the sofa next to him.
He looks at her with a glow in his eyes and exclaims, "I'm excited about this! I haven't seen a sports event so tantalizing as…I'm speechless."
Brenda looks at Jax. "Since when is a sport events tantalizing?"
"Today?"
"It's stupid comments you make that cause me to dislike you thoroughly. I really have no interest whatsoever in seeing my ex-boyfriend prancing around in daisy dukes and hitting flimsy white balls across a fake court with his nutty baby momma. I'm leaving you Jax. You're boring."
Brenda leaves the room. Jax remains stunned for a moment, but quickly snaps out of it.
"Nobody leaves Brenda! Nobody leaves! Wait till my game is over!"
------
Ned flips through the channels and stops on ESPN2. He tries to shield Lois' eyes, but she pushes his hand away and looks at the TV in horror.
"I'm sorry Lois. They're doing a recap of all of Sonny's previous matches."
Lois wipes her brow. "Is he seriously wearing polyester shorts with Converse? I can't bear to watch this."
"It could be worse. Did you see his tracksuit? I was hoping to not subject you to the embarrassment. I know you love him."
"No. Thank you for sparing me that moment. It proves you love me."
"I got you Babe. Anytime. It's a travesty I know. He's bringing Alexis down with him."
"She can't be saved Ned."
------
Lila rolls into the living room to Edward and AJ throwing back shots.
"Dear Edward. I think you often forget your grandson is an alcoholic."
Edward clears his throat. "Don't worry. They're not spiked. But don't tell AJ."
AJ holds up his shot glass ready for another round. "Don't tell me what?"
"Edward, are you and AJ going to partake in watching the table tennis match or shall I go to the sports bar?"
Edward and AJ look at her in confusion and exclaim, "What the hell is table tennis?!"
------
Luke flips on his TV with his face beet red from argument. "You can fight all you want Little Lady. Ping-Pong and table tennis are the same damn thing. The crooks use ping pong and the rich crooks use the latter."
Kristina throws her hand on her hips. "I don't like the term table tennis Uncle Luke. That's for pansies!"
"The term Uncle is a cop out for a woman that doesn't know the real father of her kid. So stop using it! I am in no way shape or form related to Stavros Cassadine."
------
The make-up crew finish touching up Stavros' face. He waits for the nod from Peter and proceeds to say his piece. "Good Afternoon. I am Stavros Cassadine and I'd just like to say that the sight of Alexis Davis on a tennis court makes me want to regurgitate the dirt I fell into when Luke Spencer kicked me down the hole. I hate her with a passion. She must die. TODAY!"
Alexis races into the TV room and decides to confide in her friend. "I'm so nervous Sybil."
Sybil smiles always ready to offer Alexis a solution. "Would you like Roger to hold your hand?"
"If Roger even thinks about touching me, I'm beating him to a bloody pulp! I'm sick of Roger abandoning me when I need him the most."
Sybil's smile fades as she stares at Alexis. "You just took my imaginary friend, yanked him out of my heart, and stumped on him. This ping pong tournament has given you a big head!"
Coleman walks in and rolls his eyes as Sybil stumps off past him. "Didn't anybody tell you not to piss off a woman with multiple personalities?"
"No Coleman. Why does it matter?"
"You don't have time for emotional distress."
A referee approaches Coleman and Alexis with a document in his hand. "Ms. Davis, if I may take some of your time. I have here the rules of the tournament. Please sign the last page and keep the rules. It is your responsibility to know them."
Alexis takes the document, signs, and hands the sheet back to the ref. He leaves Coleman and Alexis without another word.
Alexis flips through the pages. Perplexed, she stops and looks at Coleman. "You will not believe what these rules say?"
"They flipped the script on a Homie!" Sonny yells to his roommate across the room. "Check out these rules!"
"What do they say?"
Sonny reads. "You're allowed to tackle your opponent. You're also allowed to substitute one round."
------
Alexis grabs Coleman by the collar. "Do you know how to play?"
"Why?" Coleman asks.
"You might be my substitute. You know Manny's plan better than anyone."
Manny finishes the last coat of polish on his rifle. He hands it over to his sharpshooter.
"I have decided…" Manny pauses after a puff of his cigar. "Why make this ambiguous? Shoot them both."
"Then why bother with the game Manny?"
"Are you kidding me? I just want to watch Sonny and Alexis play ping pong before they die."
The sharpshooter nods with understanding and goes to take his post at the perfect angle.
Peter looks into the camera and begins his commentary. "The weather is just right outside, but inside the crowd is thick today. Sonny and Alexis are about to be brought onto the court and introduced to the table. The table my friends. Where battles will be won and lost. Where blood will be shed. Where bread will be broken…"
Luke changes to another sports channel. "This man is killing me! Can we just play ping pong?!"
------
Sonny walks out from the cove on his side of fan-dom. He waves to the crowd with a glimmer in his eye. While Sonny blows kisses to the crowd, Manny walks by and whispers in Sonny's ear taking away his show of happiness. Sonny watches Manny walk away and approach Alexis stepping out to her side of the table.
She, too, acknowledges the crowd throwing rose petals in her path. She notices Manny approach her. He stops her to whisper in her ear. She pretends to understand not really hearing a word with the crowd screaming her name. Manny leaves the court and takes his seat in front of Coleman in the stands.
The ref steps out and stands in the middle of the court and announces to the crowd practically out their minds. He turns to Sonny and Alexis and asks them to shake hands. Sonny takes the gentleman way and kisses Alexis' instead. She flashes him her wink of the eye and picks up her paddle ready to go.
"I'll give Alexis the first serve. No need to flip the coin." Sonny offers with certainty in his voice.
Alexis accepts catching the ball from the ref's throw.
The ref states one more time, "You both know the rules. There'll be no argument of my decisions for I know the rules better than you."
They both agree to the refs offer and wave him away from the table. The ref blows the whistle and Alexis cradles the white ball in her hand. She looks Sonny deep in the eyes and tries to figure where to aim her serve. He squats his body just the right height ready to catch it where it may fall.
Alexis serves up her signature start tossing the ball in the air, letting it bounce down to the table, and whacking it from right fall to left aim. Sonny pulls back his paddle and dishes up his response causing Alexis to step back from the table and slam it back his way.
Sonny pulls an infraction on the typical rules and leaps onto the table ready for whatever. Alexis freaks out by the fast and loose move and lets the ball slip past her and roll towards Manny's feet. She looks back at Manny with her heart racing to catch up with itself. She looks up at Sonny towering over her on the table like King Kong.
The ref blows the whistle and awards Sonny a point. Alexis clinches her teeth in pure disgust that he'd pull such a move. Sonny jumps down from the table and jerks at the shirt of someone in the crowd to take his place.
The gorgeous hunk of a replacement takes Sonny's paddle in his hand and saunters over to the table removing his five-piece suit along the way down to his Jockeys, boxer brief not bikini.
Yet still, Alexis is rendered speechless as are those watching at home.
Jax removes his feet from the table and dials up Luke on the phone.
"Can you believe it Luke?!" Jax yells through the receiver.
Luke shakes his head in disbelief and finally garners a response into the phone. "Lorenzo Alcazar? Why is Sonny using all of his ammo in the first round?! He only gets one substitute!"
"Brenda always said Tantra was never his thing." Jax's remarks with a laugh.
"Lorenzo Alcazar. I can not believe you'd dare go against me in a ping pong tournament." Alexis utters as she lays her paddle down to scald the man she'd rather just wrestle to the table and suck down like refreshing Sangria.
"Be strong Alexis! You're prettier than him!" Coleman yells at her from the crowd.
She picks up her paddle and studies parts of his physique. He readjusts his briefs and throws his head side-to-side hopping up and down ready to serve.
Sonny sits back and observes the reflection in her eyes. Manny leans over Sonny's shoulder and asks, "Are you jealous?"
"Not at all." Sonny continues to watch her picking up her paddle and positioning herself ready for anything despite being mesmerized.
Alexis barely maintains control of the paddle as the ball sails her way. Her swing is laughable. Not much of a swing at all. Coleman grabs his stomach full of nachos knowing Alexis is doomed.
The ref gives Sonny another point. "Zero Alexis and Sonny two."
Coleman leaps from his seat in the stands and dives onto the table just as Lorenzo delivers another serve. Coleman grabs Alexis' paddle and smacks it back to Lorenzo who holds his own and sends it back but high over Coleman's head. Alexis grabs a paddle and recovers the ball far with a tennis swing that'd make the Williams' sistas proud.
"Tag team is not allowed!" Sonny jumps up in protest.
The ref shuts down Sonny's argument with a "No. Tag team is allowed."
Lois jumps up on the couch. "You said Alexis couldn't be saved! Work it Girlfriend!"
"No I didn't. You said that!" Ned argues.
The ball continues in play and Sonny refuses to miss out on the fun. He jumps back in the game racing onto the court with a full contact embrace wrapping his arms around Alexis' waist before see can hit the ball back Lorenzo's way.
Coleman picks up the slack and keeps the ball in play. Manny looks up at his sharpshooter and makes sure he notices the perfect shot as it stands with Alexis struggling to free herself from Sonny's grip.
"Let go of me!" She screams.
Manny alerts his man with a whisper in his phone. "Pull the trigger when you see fit."
"They're moving too much Manny."
Alexis breaks free and takes Sonny's head in a lock under her arm. The ref races over blowing his whistle and ending the play by pulling them apart.
Lorenzo is distracted and lets the ball fall to the ground.
The ref calls the score again. "One Alexis and Two Sonny. New round. Substitutes out."
Lorenzo and Coleman leave the court to Alexis and Sonny again. The ref hands Alexis the ball. The sharpshooter, a lefty, moves towards the left aiming the beam at Alexis' back and transmitting the red line to Sonny's heart.
Alexis puts the ball in play with a tennis serve that annoys the hell out of Sonny with its power. He has to jump high to catch. And while in flight he notices the red beam pointed at Alexis. Sonny lets the ball drop. The sharpshooter pulls the trigger. Sonny jumps the table again to Alexis' annoyance.
Luke tosses his beer to the ground in frustration. "Play the damn game Sonny!" But soon enough he, too, notices the beam and grabs his keys to race out the door.
Like a seasoned track star, Sonny races towards Alexis, but she turns to run from him and right into the direction of the bullet leaving the rifle. The sharpshooter runs off knowing he only had one.
Sonny jumps from the table and pushes Alexis to the ground with the bullet catching Manny attempting to leave the stands. Manny struggles from the hit and falls into the arms of Coleman. He drops Manny dead to the ground and throws up his hands in innocence. "I swear I'm not the shooter!"
The crowd becomes unnerved with security trying to maintain control. But amidst the noise of the crowd, Sonny lifts himself from atop Alexis bundled up under his exhausted body. He lies back not hearing the noise surrounding him and just thankful he can still take deep breaths of air even if he does have to share it with her.
Alexis sits up not exactly sure of what happened. She notices the flock surrounding where Manny sat. She finally looks down at Sonny next to her.
"Sonny?"
"Yea Alexis."
"I wish I could quit you."
Sonny furrows his brows not sure of how to take the words. "Do I look like a gay cowboy to you?"
"Can't you just say you love me too?"
"Oh I know what I wanna say to you."
"What?"
"Till death do us part."
Dueling Covert Operations.
Hacienda Corinthos.
Rushing through the door, Sonny showers his wife and daughter with kisses before his moments of peace in the family study. He locks the door and takes a seat in front of the wall that soon reveals a plasma. He checks his watch to make sure he's on time. He waits patiently.
Alexis does one last check on Kristina finally settled down with dessert.
"Kristina. Your father is in the study and I have an appointment downstairs."
"Ok mommy."
Alexis goes downstairs and flips the switch of the light. The wall opens. She makes sure the door the basement is locked for no interruptions. She sits down and waits checking her watch to assure she's on schedule.
The study grows dark except for the TV beaming with light.
"Sonny Corinthos. You have been chosen as the secret weapon for the National Society of Women Assassins."
Sonny watches intently for instruction from the robotic woman on his screen.
"Mr. Corinthos. Your assignment is to kill this person…""Natasha Davidovich Cassadine-Corinthos. You have been chosen as a secret weapon for the National Society of Men Assassins."
Alexis grins at the hot stature of a man gracing her screen.
"Mrs. Corinthos. Your assignment is to kill this person. His name is Stavros Cassadine. Keep in mind, you are not the only assassin given this duty. You must reach him first. This message will self destruct…"
"Now Mr. Corinthos. Goodbye."