Disclaimer: I want them, but they are the property of Fox and Shore.

IX.

She opened her eyes slowly and dragged herself up to a sitting position, surveying her empty sunlight room. Nothing was different. Everything was different.

The sound of the bedside phone had woken her. She had no idea what time it was. It was another lonely Saturday, what did time matter?

She paused over the receiver. What if it was him? What if he was outside her apartment right now dialling from his cell phone?

"Hello?"

"Hi Sugar," Amy's Southern drawl immediately made her sigh with relief and she settled back into her pillows.

"Hi, how are you doing?" She smiled widely, so glad to hear a friendly voice.

She'd met Amy at college. It was a story that they both liked to recount every time they met. Allison had spotted the petite girl crying in the corner of the dorm and had approached her with concern. Amy's tears tripped down the end of her cute little freckled nose and she'd allowed herself to be hugged and consoled by Allison, accepting a tissue and agreeing to go get a coffee with her.

At the end of their meeting Amy had leant forward and whispered in Allison's ear: "Thank you sugar."

Allison was surprised, thinking she was referring to the three espressos she'd bought the snivelling girl: "That's ok, you can shout me next time."

"Oh no," She said, getting up and pulling a bright pink hat over her shock of black hair, "I meant for helping me rehearse. Your improvisation skills are fantastic."

She'd left the young, foolish naïve wannabe-doctor to sip her coffee and feel used.

Allison swore that she'd never befriend a drama student ever again. But Amy was persuasive and the following week she'd practically moved in to her room.

Of course, when the hugging and consoling had really been needed it had been Amy who had held Allison's hand and supported her thin frame as they'd stepped out of the funeral car.

"What's up?" Cameron asked, wrapping the phone line around her fingers. An old habit.

"I just wanted to talk to you," Amy said. Noise of traffic behind her suggested that she was out and about on the streets of New York.

"Why so early?"

"It's the afternoon." Amy laughed. "Are you…in bed?"

Amy was now an actress off Broadway and she had a way of conveying the simplest of words. In bed?

Cameron smiled, "Yes, but I'm alone."

Amy gasped down the receiver: "Alone?" She drew the word out; probably crossing from one side of the street to the other in the time it took her to say it.

Cameron laughed. "Yes."

"But you weren't? Before? I mean, you're always alone. Why suddenly mention it?"

Cameron hated that her friend could figure her out like that. All the defences she tried to build up around herself meant nothing to Amy. Amy had seen her at her weakest, a broken thing throwing clumps of dirt onto the top of a coffin; there really was no point in lying to her.

Cameron looked up at her clean, white ceiling, wondering if she'd regret what she was about to say: "I may have gotten intimate with somebody."

It sounded like Amy had entered a building. The traffic noises switched off and the line suddenly silenced.

"Are you still there?"

"No." Amy said quietly, "I've just fallen under a car in shock."

Cameron smiled, a grin spreading across her whole face. She was so pleased to be able to tell someone. Someone who wouldn't judge her.

"I'm in the library," Amy said, "Just looking for a table to sit at. So tell me everything. Slowly."

"It was the guy I told you about before –" Cameron said carefully, she wanted to be all dramatic like Amy but she had to phrase her sentences just right, "- the one that I've liked for a really long time."

"Right," Amy whispered. "The boss-guy? The guy with a girlfriend?"

"He doesn't have a girlfriend," Cameron quickly corrected her, not wanting her to add unnecessary drama: "He used to have a girlfriend. I went for a ride on his bike."

"You never told me had a bike!" Amy exclaimed excitedly.

"Well, he does. And we drove to this diner in the middle of nowhere and he kissed me."

"Did you kiss him back?"

"What do you think?" Cameron blushed. "I've wanted this guy for like three years."

Amy giggled more.

"Anyway, later that day I kissed him. And then on the night we –"

"Oh my God!" Amy squealed just at the right moment, "You little tramp!"

Cameron giggled. She couldn't help it. Amy made her laugh.

"Was it good? Was he gentle? Was he rough? Was he wild? Was he dirty? Are you going to do it again?"

Cameron knew that her friend was practically bouncing up and down in the air now.

She moved and propped her head up on her elbow: "Don't you care that people are probably watching you?"

"Would I be in my line of work if I did?" Amy said matter-of-factly: "Was it worth the wait then?"

"Yes." Cameron breathed. "But I'm not finished – so last night we went to this party and things progressed and we ended up, um, doing stuff."

She paused. Suddenly realising that she had no way of phrasing it nicely.

"What stuff?"

"Um," Cameron lowered her voice even though there was no one to hear her, "Promise me you won't squeal…he went down on me. In the parking lot."

Amy gasped. "Ok," She said, her breathing quick and short, "Let me get this straight. This sexy brilliant funny older guy who you've had a crush on for forever rides you off on his bike like he's your knight in shining armour and then makes sweet love to you and then, as if that wasn't enough, he goes down on you in the open air? That's the hottest thing I've ever heard! I so want your life!"

Cameron smiled. It wasn't quite like that but she enjoyed Amy's version better.

"I should go," Amy said, "Let you get back to your debauched existence."

"I told you. He's not here."

She sat up and moved the covers away from her, watching the rise and fall of her taut stomach: "Truth is, in between the events I've just described to you, he's pretty much ignored me."

Amy paused for a long time and then, her voice full of concern, "Are you ok with that? Did you want a fuck buddy?"

Cameron grimaced. It wasn't what she wanted. Not at all.

Amy filled in the silence, knowing her too well: "Then you have to talk to him, sugar. Don't be his dirty little secret unless you want him to be yours."

Cameron suddenly felt embarrassed. She'd ruined the story: "I don't know if it's like that."

"Ok," Amy said tentatively, "But obviously, I'm gonna be on your side, no matter what happens. I love you."

"I love you too," Cameron replied automatically. Amy was the only friend that she ever said this to. In fact, she didn't even say it to her own family. But there was something about Amy. Her blind faith. Her easy acceptance. She did love her.

The two people she loved most in the world at that precise moment couldn't be more different.

"Call me Monday," Amy whispered, hanging up and probably heading deeper into the library.

Cameron ran her fingers over the receiver as the line went dead.

It was a long time until Monday morning.

A lot of hours to keep a dirty little secret.