Alright, next chapter is here. I had no idea writing Betelgeuse was so damn fun or I would have started a long time ago! It's a bit scary how easy it is for me to think like a sleaze ball…

Lydia laid awake, watching the clock and trying not to glance at the envelope of papers perched on her night stand. She was way to damn tired to go through all of that immediately, so she had grabbed them and brought them to her bedroom with her when she went to bed. Betelgeuse had disappeared.

The clock was now flashing three A.M. and the young woman began to twist the ring unconsciously around her finger. It was a rather loose fit since she had lost weight after coming to the city, but no matter what she had done over the years it had refused to budge past her knuckle. She had eventually just learned to deal with its existence.

She laid awake for another quarter hour, chewing on the inside of her cheek and pondering her choices before she decided to cancel her shoots for the next day and focus instead on the problem at hand. With the newly formed plan fresh in her mind, she finally grudged herself into sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Betelgeuse gulped down another shot of Jack and looked around the mostly empty bar while taking rapid puffs off his newly acquired cigar. He took grim pleasure in the knowledge that he had at least retained the right to smoke and drink.

The poltergeist heard the bar keeper announce closing time shortly just as he caught sight of a bar whore. She was making eyes at him and he turned around to face his server in distaste. "Women, it's like they know when a guy's desperate…" he groaned into his empty shot glass.

The keep smirked knowingly at his customer and refilled the glass. "You can say that again, bud. But you look downright blue. Have a fight with your old lady?" The barkeep grinned when Betelgeuse scowled. "Trust me when I say it's easier to just apologize and make amends. You should head home, friend. It's closing time anyway."

Making a mental note to come back for the barkeep's family later, the poltergeist rose from his seat and left the bar. Having no where else to go, he snapped his fingers to return to the quiet and now dark apartment.

XXXXXXXXXX

Lydia woke up to the sound of her TV blaring in the next room and groaned. She had almost forgotten about her problem, trusting it to just be a bad dream. She quickly threw on a pair of pants and walked into her hallway. Disappointment couldn't have been clearer on her face when she spotted her dead husband comfortably sprawled out on her new leather couch, smoking a cigarette.

"Morning babes, sleep well?" he grinned between puffs, "Want me to make you some coffee while you sign those papers?" Lydia closed her eyes in frustration before she chose to speak, "Betelgeuse, get off my couch and go take a shower before I rip those papers up and throw them away…"

The poltergeist rose from the couch and gave her a theatrical look of contempt as he walked by her. "You may take my dirt, but you will never take my dignity…" he vowed before slamming the bathroom door behind him. The goth rolled her eyes and continued into her kitchen.

Three cups of coffee, a good scrubbing on her couch, and forty five minutes later, Lydia looked up to see a newly washed Betelgeuse ambling out of the bathroom in a long green robe, looking quite put out at his lack of grime. The ghost grinned when he saw the look of surprise plastered on the girl's face. "This is why they call me the ghost with the most, babe. All this can be yours and more," he winked, grabbing his crotch.

Lydia forced a look of disdain onto her features and shuffled around the packet of papers in front of her, trying hard to ignore the specter in front of her. The green around his face had been washed away leaving a blue, almost moonlit hue framing his features and his white blond hair actually looked halfway decent once it was clean. Even his hands and fingernails were rid of the years of caked on dirt.

She motioned reluctantly for him to sit down next to her on the couch as she pulled one of the papers from the pile. "BJ, have you even read anything on this agreement?" she asked, deciding to get down to business. The ghoul shook his head in a way to explain that no he didn't and he didn't even care what the terms were so long as he was no longer married.

"Well," Lydia continued unperturbed, "There is simply no way I can sign these."

The couple's eyes met, challenge written plainly on both of their features. Frustration dripped from Betelgeuse's words when he finally broke off from her glare and spoke, "You're breakin' balls here! What's the problem? You don't even want to be married to me anyway!"

He growled and turned completely away in a moment of exasperation. For a second the barkeep's words of advice came back to him. Should he try just groveling at her feet? NO! He wasn't going to back down. Her soft voice brought him back to reality when she spoke.

"Beej, I can't let you go to wreak havoc on the world unchecked. If you want a divorce so bad that's fine by me, but I am going to have to make amendments to this and send it back for improvement," she paused and rolled her eyes, "I know you don't want to have to bother with me for that long but that's just the way it'll have to be."

Betelgeuse watched a blush grow into her milky cheeks when she noticed how intently he was watching her. The way she talked made it seem like he hated her and couldn't stand to be around her. Christ, he had married her hadn't he? True, it had just been as a means of escape but still, she had intrigued him and he chose her. A long dormant emotion came creeping into his being, guilt.

"Babes, it's not like that! I just wanna get laid! Now, if you're willing to put out I'd be happy to have and to hold and all that other bullshit!"

Expressions that he had never seen the likes of passed over his temporary wife's face, and that was saying a lot; he was dead. "That is the reason you want a divorce? You disgust me. And I will never sink so low as to 'put out' as you so crudely put it. No Betelgeuse, you will have to wait for a divorce, and I think I just lost my only pen. It may take me a while to finish all this."

With that, Lydia practically jumped off the couch and strolled over to her front door. Screw the fact she was wearing wrinkled, day old clothes and hadn't taken a shower. She needed some fresh air. "I'm going out now. If you fuck with my stuff while I'm gone I will make your unlife a living hell."

The front door slammed as the poltergeist screamed after her, "You already are, bitch!" Betelgeuse slouched over onto the couch once more and fumed. If he had known marriage was going to be like this, he would have chosen the confines of the model for the rest of eternity.

I think I'll heat things up just a bit next chapter. I just can't make them get along so quickly. It wouldn't hold true with their (movie) characters I think…

Reviews are very welcome...A bit of constructive criticism can go a long way. Oh and thank you very much for the reviews I have gotten. They are very much appreciated.