Disclaimer: I don't own any of them

Once upon a time I read that semen has alkaline in it. My friend and I had a theory that that's why guys get so tired after sex. Because since there's alkaline in batteries, and batteries give things energy, if a guy loses his alkaline he loses his energy. Boy, we had some overactive imaginations huh? Sorry, just felt like sharing that. But I used it in this because I couldn't think of any real plausible reason why this shit had to happen. Thanks for everyone still reading this!

-Flash Back-

Sasuke shifted in his seat. His body was throbbing with sensations and he was trying to be as patient as possible until Tsunade came back in. He ran a hand over his swollen erection. He had already tried nine times, and none of them had sated his body, and the erection continued to push up in his pants.

Tsunade walked back into the room and sat down behind her desk. "And you say after you completed your mission you ran into Orochimaru. And the next thing you remember you were lying right outside of Konoha?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Well, I've found out that this is a very potent aphrodisiac, and it only has one neutralizer. Alkaline."

Sasuke scowled, "So I put a battery up my…and it goes away?"

Tsunade licked her lips at the image it produced. "It's not that kind of alkaline. It's the kind found in semen."

Sasuke stayed silent.

"So…" She reached into her desk and pulled out a cup and a turkey baster, "Beat off into this cup, and then we'll apply it to the…effected area." She grinned.

Sasuke shook his head, "I can't."

"Oh." She pulled a Ninja Girl magazine out of her drawer and threw it on top of the desk, "Will this help?"

Sasuke's cheeks grew pink, "It's not that. But I tried to get it to go away so many times, there's nothing left."

She laughed in understanding, "Well, then I guess the only options are to wait for your body to start producing semen again, or find someone's cum to put up your ass."

"Hn." Sasuke stood up.

"Wait, before you go…" She reached into her desk again and threw him a bottle of lube, "You'll need this."

----------------End of Flashback------------

Sasuke threw a kunai towards where he knew Naruto was hiding. It worked and Naruto jumped out of his hiding spot. Just as he was about to throw three more, a nauseating feeling rose up his stomach, and he stopped. Naruto wasn't aware though, and landed a kick in Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke fell to his knees and gasped. Naruto looked down at him, "Geez, Sasuke."

Sasuke snickered, but could no longer hold the feeling in, he bent down and threw up.

Naruto's nose crunched up, "You sick?"

Sasuke wiped his mouth, "I think it might have been something I ate."

"What the hell did you eat?"

"…Pickles and ice-cream."

"Are you just weird or pregnant?" Naruto smirked. But when he saw the angry glare Sasuke gave him, he sighed. They hadn't talked about that night since it happened almost a month ago. But Naruto wasn't sure exactly what to say about it. He had just helped his friend out. Sasuke had said it had to be done, hadn't he? So why was he looking so pissed?

"What's wrong with you?" He couldn't take that black stare very much longer.

"That's all you have to say? You're about as gifted with words as you are with sex." He snapped out.

Naruto's jaw dropped. He had admitted to himself that he had done a horrible job. But it was his first time. He didn't know about the prostate, or waiting for the other person to adjust. He didn't realize it was part of his job to make sure his partner came too. The only thing he knew is that it the penis goes in the hole. And he had done that to the best of his abilities. But he felt like he had to defend himself, "You told me to fuck you, not make love to you."

Sasuke stood up intending to punch Naruto, but he got dizzy and sat down again.

Naruto frowned, "You alright?"

"Sasuke!" Sakura ran out of the bushes. "I saw you fall, are you alright?"

Sasuke tried to hide the irritated look on his face, "I'm fine."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "No he's not. He's throwing up."

Sakura frowned, "Is your stomach hurting you? Lift up your shirt."

Sasuke sighed and pulled up his shirt, glaring daggers at Naruto.

"Hey, Sasuke? Where'd you get this scar?" Sakura asked, touching a small incision mark on Sasuke's stomach.

"What scar?" He looked down, and for the first time noticed the lightly discolored scar on his stomach. He frowned, "I've never noticed it before."

"Let's take you to Tsunade."

---------------Break------------------

Tsunade threw her papers on her desk and sighed. Sasuke had been rather impatient, "So?"

"Well, at least your story is making a little bit more sense. I think I've found out why they gave you that aphrodisiac. I have to admit though, Kabuto's medical skills are amazing. I can't believe he found a way to make this work."

Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, "Make what work?" He gritted out.

"They did an operation on you. They implanted an egg inside of you, and somehow Kabuto found a way for the male anatomy to preserve its life."

"Wait…life?" He was getting a bad feeling.

Tsunade sighed, "You're pregnant, Sasuke. That aphrodisiac must have been used so that you would have to fertilize the egg. Even your own sperm, if inserted, would have fertilized the egg."

Sasuke paled. "Who does the egg belong to?"

Tsunade shrugged, "I don't think that should be your main concern right now. Sasuke, who's the father?"

Sasuke stood up abruptly, knocking his chair down, "Take it out."

Tsunade stood up as well, "Sasuke…"

"Get rid of it. This is something Orochimaru did. It can't be good." Sasuke began to pace around the room.

"I don't know how to remove it yet. I can't take it out."

"You're lying." Sasuke growled.

"Sasuke…" She had never seen Sasuke like this before, "I promise I'll remove the child as soon as I learn how. But please, just think about this before then. This is a chance for you to restart your clan."

Sasuke stopped, "The sperm isn't mine. The egg's not mine. I'm just a damn incubator."

"It doesn't work like it would in a female's body. It's feeding off of you to stay alive. Some of your genetic traits will go to that baby. Probably including the sharingan…so you did go to someone else? Who?"

Sasuke gave her a 'go to hell I'm not saying' look, "Call me when you've figured out how to get rid of this thing."

He stepped out of the door and slammed it behind him.

"I didn't hurt you when I kicked you did I?"

Sasuke spun around to see Naruto sitting down on the ground outside Tsunade's office. He paled. Naruto was the last person he wanted to see at that moment. "You've been here the whole time?"

Naruto nodded.

Sasuke closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "What did you hear?"

Naruto gave him a blank look. "Nothing."

Sasuke sighed, "Why are you here?"

Naruto stood up, "You're my friend. I was worried. I've never seen you sick before. Did she give you some medicine?"

"Yeah." Sasuke muttered before he turned to walk away.

"Sasuke."

Sasuke gave a quiet sigh, "What?" He felt really tired.

"I'm sorry if I was a painful partner. I didn't know what I was doing."

"I didn't either." Sasuke walked away.