Shadow's family reunion
Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned in this story except for the story idea itself.
A/N: Sorry about the wait, I was…uh… waiting for votes! (Yeah, that's a good excuse…)Thanks to Dragonbreath1, sonamy282 and Metal Overlord92 for reviewing and voting, this brings me to my next point. The results of the poll/votes/whatever are:
Survival of the Fattest: 2 votes. (sonamy282 and Metal Overlord92)
Do whatever I think is funniest: 1 vote (Dragonbreath1)
I was kinda hoping for more votes but who cares? On with…
Chapter 5: Survival of the Fattest!
We join Eggman and Metal Sonic in a sort of valley area.
"What are we doing here?" asked Eggman. Metal shrugged, or tried to but failed due to his lack of shoulders.
"Hello, I'm Omochao!" Eggman's eyes widened so much you could see them from behind his glasses. "In this stage you can practice different types of actions! Ok, are you ready to start?" Metal Sonic tried to kill himself with a blade of grass as Omochao flew down from the sky. They were surrounded by walls from all sides. The only way to get out was to get out was to finish…
STAGE 00: SEA GATE
Better known as… The Tutorial. Eggman took one step forward- "First I'll explain the formations" - And wished he didn't. "Each formation is different depending on who the leader is!" Metal stopped trying to perform seppuku (the Japanese samurai suicide thing) due to his lack of a stomach long enough to realize something was wrong.
"Don't we need 3 people or something?"
"Too bad, improvise." Said Omochao. "Do you see the blue, red and yellow symbols on the top right hand corner of the screen?"
"…Screen?" asked Eggman.
"The blue symbol means the leader is speed-type. The yellow symbol means the leader is fly-type and the red symbol means the leader is power-type! The symbol at the bottom indicates who the leader is!" Metal Sonic repeated his question.
"No, really, don't we need 3 people?"
"Lets just get this over with." Said Eggman with a sigh as he took about 3 steps towards 3 giant colored TVs.
"Next I'll tell you about formation signals! The blue signal means speed-type leader is recommended! The red signal means power-type leader is recommended and the yellow- Hey! Come back here!" Eggman had already left and was walking towards the formation change gates. "This is the Formation Change Gate! The leader automatically changes when you go through this gate!"
"No, really?" said Metal sarcastically. Eggman tried walking through all 3 gates. Nothing happened; Eggman would still be holding Metal Sonic's head under his arm.
"Maybe the gates are broken…" wondered Eggman.
"Screw the gates, lets get going!" said Metal.
"First, let's try speed formation. This formation features really fast speed!"
"…Wait, who's the speed leader?" asked Metal Sonic.
"I am!" announced Eggman. If you remember from chapter 3, Eggman moves really fast for a fat guy. Even faster that Sonic! (Try playing Sonic 2.) Eggman ran on the path, bounced off the triple trampoline and landed on the next level up. Omochao came along and was explaining the homing attack but no one was really listening until-
"Now try it on that spring!" Eggman paused. He had seen Sonic do homing attacks many times on his robots but there was no way in hell he could roll up into a ball in mid air and launch himself at enemies. Then Eggman had an idea.
"Hey Metal, do you still have that auto homing module with you?" Metal's head opened up and spat out a small glowing ball. The ball 'accidentally' hit Eggman in the face on its way out. The homing module was designed as a way to help Metal track objects as he would always be drawn to it. The problem was that the module acted like a giant cartoon magnet and when activated would send Metal Sonic flying towards it at top speed. This caused so much damage that it was never used again…until now.
"HOMING ATTACK!" screamed Eggman as he activated the module and threw it at the spring. He then grabbed on to Metal's head tightly as Metal burst towards the module as it bounced of the spring.
They all landed on the next part of the level. Omochao rambled on about rings while Eggman was upset because he couldn't perform Light Dash. Then they found the enemy…
"These are the bad guys, lets get them!" cheered Omochao.
"Eggman, aren't those your Shadow androids?" Eggman nodded.
"What are they doing here?!" asked Eggman. One of the Shadow androids walked up to Eggman.
"We don't follow The Man, man! We are free spirits man, we do whatever we want…man." Said the android. Eggman sighed, why does everything rebel against him? Metal was more confused on why the Shadow androids were acting like hippies.
"Aren't you going to attack us?" asked Metal.
"Of course not man! We're not into violence man! We want peace man! We want freedom from The Man, man!" The hippies were easily destroyed. Omochao started to explain the 'way cool' Rocket Accel while Eggman and Metal Sonic laughed at Omochao. Eggman tried to run up the steep slope but he was too fat to even get a quarter of the way up. The only way up was to use Rocket Accel. Eggman kicked the homing module as hard as he could. The module activated and Metal with Eggman in tow made it to the top of the hill… only to fall off the edge. They went screaming all the way down and hit the bottom and died… well they would but in the Sonic world you could survive falling through the atmosphere somehow so Metal and Eggy weren't hurt in the slightest. They made it to the part of the level where you practice flying. Both Metal and Eggman were stumped on how to fly until Metal Sonic found the solution. Later Eggman and Metal were flying as Metal chased the module which was tied to the end of a long stick which Eggman was holding just in front of Metal's face. Metal flew up the cliffs to the thunder shoot practice area. A way to replicate thunder shoot was easily found. Eggman would throw Metal Sonic, who would charge himself with large amounts of electricity in midair. Using the homing module Metal would come right back. After skipping much of the flying section because I am too lazy to write it, our heroes/villains/whatever came to the power section. But by this point, Metal Sonic was sick and tired of being used as living ammo.
"But I have to use you as living ammo Metal! How else are we going to smash through large objects if no one throws giant animal like creatures at giant robots?"
"Screw that fatty! Why don't I pick you up and throw you at hippies!?" Eggman pondered this for a while before coming to the conclusion of…
"Because you have no hands." Metal thought of an idea.
"Remember Big the cat?" asked Metal.
"…The pyromaniac one?" wondered Eggman.
"…The fat one."
"Oh yeah! I remember now!"
"Couldn't he perform an attack called Body Press?"
"…"
5 seconds later…
"EGG PRESS!" screamed Eggman as he body slammed a group of Shadow hippies protesting against animal cruelty. As Eggman hit the ground his fat wobbled in the most outrageously disgusting fashion, rendering all who look upon it to die instantly. Metal smiled. No more live ammo for him! Metal watched as Eggman went sumo on a poor helpless hippie who was feebly trying to use a protest sign as a shield. Wood and pieces of oil drenched pieces of metal went flying as Eggman practically steam rolled over the fake Shadow. Metal's smile turned into an evil grin. He would get his Metal Overlord body back, destroy the blue hedgehog and then…
"THE WORLD WILL BE MINE!!!" shouted Metal Sonic to the sky. Eggman stopped smashing stuff.
"What did you say?"
'Oh crap, I said that out loud!' thought Metal Sonic. Thinking quickly, Metal used a Black Arm technique he copied off Black Doom: The Black Distraction! The Black Distraction, as its name implies, distracts people like right now…
"Oh look, the team blast training area!" said Metal, changing the subject entirely. Eggman frowned.
"What can we do for our team blast?" asked Eggman. Metal went into deep thought until a commotion brought him out of his thoughts.
"Come on man, don't be such a downer man!" said a Shadow clone.
"I refuse to be part of this stupidity." Said another Shadow clone flatly.
"Oh I see now man! You're working with The Man, man! You don't care anything except money man! We reject you man! Where is your sense of peace man?" the hippie rambled on and on about random hippie stuff while the other clone just walked away.
'Good to see that not all of the Shadow Androids are insane…' thought Metal Sonic. Just then, Metal Sonic realized the potential of a Shadow android that actually acted like Shadow.
"Hey, isn't that Shadow?" inquired Metal. Eggman shook his head.
"It's just another hippie…" answered Eggman. Metal thought of an extremely complicated plan to trick Eggman into believing that one of the androids might be Shadow.
"LOOK, IT'S MARIA!" shouted Metal as loud as he could. The sane android instantly looked up.
"Maria!? Where!?" Eggman paused. He tensed up. Then he broke into a run.
"UNCLE SHADOW!!!" screamed Eggy.
"Eh? Hey, you're not Maria!" said the clone.
"HUG!!!" The androids eyes widened. Some deep survival instinct told him to run before it was too late. All of a sudden, the background changed color with swirling lights all over the place. It was too late…
Eggman charged straight through to the android, crushing any others that were in the way before catching the clone and giving him the Hug of Death. The android exploded under the sheer pressure of the hug into a million pieces. Much oil was spilt that day and many corpses of the hugged lay dead on the ground. Many were hugged this day and the bells of passing never rang. On the bright side, Metal and Eggy have their team blast!
"Next stop, TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION!!!" screamed Metal Sonic.
"What?" asked Eggman.
"Uh… Next Stop, Stage 1: Seaside Hill!"
"Let's go!" said Eggman as he picked up Metal Sonic and ran across into the distance… and the end of the chapter.
Next chapter, Seaside hill, Ocean Palace and the Fox Hawk!