Shadow's family reunion
Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned in this story except for the story idea itself.
A/N: Thanks to Aurora the Hedgehog and Dragonbreath1 for reviewing, making them the 11th and 12th reviewers. Also, thanks to my brother for creating the Secret Grass. (Don't ask)
Chapter 6: Seaside hill, Ocean Palace and the Fox Hawk part 1.
Our story continues as Eggman and Metal Sonic stand on the beach with some silly little dialogue, just as every single other team in Sonic Heroes does.
"First I must recover my body; afterwards I can continue my campaign to be the most supreme ruler IN THE UNIVERSE!!!" screamed Metal Sonic. Eggman stopped playing with a hermit crab he found.
"…what?" he asked.
"Uh... I didn't say anything!" said Metal Sonic, trying to cover his complete lack of the ability to think in his mind.
"Yes you did! Something about a body…"
"Uh…I… will need a new body if we are to get through this area in one piece!" said Metal, trying to cover his mistake.
"You're right! And I have the perfect material to build you a new body!" beamed Eggman proudly.
"What? Really!? What is it!?" asked Metal Sonic with excitement in his voice.
"Hermit Crabs!" said Eggman triumphantly. Metal Sonic stared at him in shock. After a while Metal Sonic regained his senses.
"…Hermit Crabs?" Metal asked.
"Yep!"
"…Hermit crabs…"
"Correct!" All of a sudden Metal Sonic lost it.
"HERMIT CRABS!?! WHAT THE FREAKING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!" screamed Metal.
"DON'T SPEAK TO YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT YOUNG MAN!!!" Eggman screamed back.
"NOT MY FATHER!!!"
"YES I AM!!!"
"I'M NOT YOUR SON YOU FAT FREAK!!!
"UNGRATEFUL TEENAGE PUNK!!!"
"I'M A ROBOT; I DON'T HAVE A FREAKING AGE!!!"
"DON'T SPEAK TO ME THAT THAT TONE YOUNG MAN!!!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!"
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!" Eggman and Metal continued the most psychopathic father/teenage son argument in the history of the world until…
"Whoa man! Like, stop the endless need for violence man!" said a Shadow hippie walking by. Metal and Eggy were too into their argument to notice the hippie. The hippie decided to take matters into his own hands…
"Team Chaotix Family Therapy Service, how can we help you?" asked the voice of a severely disinterested Espio. Behind him, Vector and Charmy were almost giddy with excitement. Their first customer in ages! The crazy old man who sold them the 'magic fortune cookie' was right; it was a good idea to frequently change their job! Espio continued to phone call in a bored manner that was completely different from the way the other Chaotix members were acting. Finally, Espio hung up the phone. Charmy practically pounced onto Espio.
"Did we get a job Espio? Huh? Huh? Did we Espio? Did we get a job?" asked the bee in his hyperactive way of his. Espio threw the bee off then nodded his head.
"YAY!!!" screamed Charmy as he flew across the room.
"So Espio, what's our job?" asked Vector. Espio sighed.
"You're not going to believe this but…"
The Chaotix stood next to the quarreling Metal Sonic and Eggman as they planned on what to do next.
"Hey Espio, do you have some grand, cool, tremendous, amazing, awe-inspiring, overwhelming, remarkable, breathtaking, splendid, incredible, amazing, extraordinary, marvelous, wonderful, stunning, spectacular, awesome ninja trick Espio? Do you? Huh? Huh? Do you? Dou you Espio? Do you?" asked Charmy. Vector and Espio were in shock of Charmy's 6 year old vocabulary. Espio answered Charmy's question with a-
"No."
"…Really?" asked Charmy.
"You see, I have a grand, cool, tremendous, amazing, awe-inspiring, overwhelming, remarkable, breathtaking, splendid, incredible, amazing, extraordinary, marvelous, wonderful, stunning, spectacular, awesome, astounding,astonishing, surprising, shocking, marvelous, miraculous, mind-blowing, mind-boggling, staggering, dumbfounding, flabbergasting and inconceivable ninja trick!" said Espio proudly.
"YAY!!!" screamed Charmy.
"Behold! Ninja powder!" said Espio as he held up a bag of red powder. Nobody, not even Espio knew this but the powder was made out of… Secret Grass! The only rare grass to be found in…hot chocolate. (Don't ask.) Espio blew the powder in front of Eggy's and Metal's faces causing them to die instantly! Actually they just forgot what happened and got on with…
Stage 01: Seaside Hill.
Eggman ran along the sea side path with high speed while carrying Metal Sonic, bounced of the triple trampoline thing, went through the 3 rainbow colored hoops and landed on the other side. Running along the triple loops they encountered a small platoon of Shadow Androids. Eggman quickly smashed his way through the androids and a giant square block which was covering a trampoline thing. Bouncing their way upwards and forwards, they switched into Fly formation and flew through those accelerator hoops. Switching to Power formation, Eggman made short work of those who betrayed him (except Metal). Switching back into Speed formation, they ran across the path, around the giant loops and into a ramp that sent them flying past a large rock and 2 whales.
"Whoohoo!" screamed Eggman.
"Holy $#!+!" screamed Metal Sonic. They landed on a bunch of hippies, destroying them in the process.
"Look Metal, a cannon!" said Eggman with glee.
"…so?" asked a disinterested Metal Sonic.
"Let's jump in!"
"No!" protested Metal Sonic but it was too late. Eggy jumped into the cannon, sending the duo flying in the air.
"Whee!"
"Mother flaking hell!" The dysfunctional pair soared through the air like a grotesque bird of mammoth proportions before landing on a miniature island.
"Now what Metal?" asked Eggman.
"Never… do that again…" said Metal Sonic.
"But what if we-"
"NEVER AGAIN!!!"
"Yes sir!"
"Anyway, my radar thingy tells me that the sea ruins move magically when you get close to them." Said Metal as a satellite dish popped out of his head.
"… Do you have cable on that thing?" asked Eggy.
"Just get moving fatty!"
"Yes sir!" Moving quickly, they found the bob sled.
"Hey Metal, wanna go for a ride?" asked Eggman.
"… Don't we need 3 people for this?" inquired Metal.
"Why?"
"One to steer, one to power the engine and another to jump." Explained Metal Sonic.
"Well, we don't need to jump until Rail Canyon so we'll be Ok for now." Said Eggman.
5 minutes later…
"Where did you learn to drive!?" screamed Metal Sonic as he span in a little ball at the back of the sled.
"I didn't!" replied Eggman happily as he crashed into rocks, pedestrians, giant balloons, hippies, old ladies, and a dog.
"Pull over! This is the police!" said a cop as he drove in a car next to them.
"Stop the sled fat man!" ordered Metal Sonic.
"I can't! There are no brakes!"
"NO BRAKES!?!" screamed Metal Sonic as they over took the policeman.
"The driver won't stop! Set up a barricade!" ordered the policeman over his walky-talky.
"Dude, with what? They run over giant square blocks without even slowing down!" said the guy on the other side.
"I DON'T CARE, JUST DO IT!!!"
So Metal Sonic and Eggman sped along until they saw the barricade.
"JUMP!" said Eggman. They pair jumped off the sled just as it crashed into the barricade and killed all the cops. Metal and Eggy flew across the sea through more rainbow hoops. They flew up the cliff and landed on a rock platform… only to have it collapse beneath them. Totally disobeying the laws of physics, the two were unharmed and made their way to the second cannon.
"Metal…"
"I SAID NEVER AGAIN!"
"But then how do we get up the Cliffside?"
"Do you have a cell phone?"
"Team Chaotix Taxi Service, how can we help you?" asked Espio. Behind him, Vector and Charmy were beating up the Shadow Hippie who called them for not paying any money.
"What happened to free stuff man? I remember in the 70's it was free all the time!" complained the hippie.
"Too bad sucker!" said an angry Vector as he pummeled the hippie.
"Thank you for choosing the Team Chaotix Taxi Service, that will be 20 rings." Said Espio.
"Ok fat man, pay up." Said Metal Sonic.
"Uh…" said Eggman.
"What now?" asked Metal Sonic.
"I'm…broke…" whispered Eggman. Metal Sonic's eyes widened.
"Ok Eggy, I have a plan." Metal whispered back.
"What?" asked Eggman.
"RUN!" yelled Metal Sonic. Both of them ran away with the Chaotix chasing them. Soon they made it into the room with the third cannon. Momentarily putting aside his fear of cannons, Metal thought of another idea and explained it to Eggman. Eggman loaded the cannon with Metal Sonic and fired the cannon. Metal Sonic whizzed through the air straight at the Chaotix. With the help of the auto homing module, metal Sonic was able to be reloaded quickly and fired again and again. Soon the Chaotix were forced to retreat.
"Yosh!" said Eggman triumphantly.
"…Seriously, who says that?" asked Metal. Using the cannon (which revived Metal's intense hatred of them) the pair made it to the next sled.
"Yay!" cheered Eggman as he hopped into the driver's seat.
"Not again!" Soon they were breaking the speeding limit once again as they crashed into every on the road. Then the police returned.
"Pull over right now or suffer the consequences!" shouted the cop.
"Do it!" pleaded Metal Sonic.
"NEVER!" yelled Eggman as he drove faster. Needless to say, another barricade was set up.
"Holy cow men, here they come!" said the policemen building the barricade.
"Hit the deck!" warned one of them. All of them screamed and ran away as Eggy and Metal crashed into the barricade. Metal Sonic and Eggman ran away screaming while the police chased them.
"Pursuit units, don't let them get away!!" ordered a cop.
"Yes sir!" they cried as they chased our heroes/villains/whatever.
"There it is!" said Eggman while pointing to their salvation: the goal ring!
"We're not going to make it!" said Metal as the police gained on them.
"What are we going to do?" asked Eggman with fear in his voice as the police gained even further on them.
"Black Distraction!" screamed Metal Sonic.
"Eh?" asked Eggman.
"Look! Doughnuts over that ledge!" said Metal Sonic.
"Yay!" cheered the police as they jumped of the edge and fell to their deaths.
Mission Clear!
"Whoohoo!" cheered Eggy as he slammed Metal Sonic's head into the ground as if he was scoring a point in…that game where everybody tackles each over, you know, something to do with metal… iron I think…
"Ouch!" said Metal.
Next chapter: Metal and Eggman go Indiana Jones style when chased by giant rocks and even more craziness!