Chapter # 11

Ben realized that the "after" party at his parent's hotel suite was in full swing by the time he and Rachel finally arrived with their children in tow.

"So let me get this straight, your Aunt Leia is the Leia Organo Solo, the former Chief of State of the former New Republic?" Rachel asked as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Uh, yeah…that would be the one," hedged Ben, helping his wife and children into the turbolift.

"Are there any other famous family members I should be aware of?" quirked his wife, looking irritated.

"Well, there's also my grandmother," mumbled Ben.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"My dad's mom was Padme Naberrie," confessed Ben, miserably.

"Padme Naberrie…Queen Amidala of Naboo was your grandmother?" asked Rachel, stunned.

"Well, she was only a queen for 2 terms, after that she was just a senator," said Ben hopefully.

"So, your father and mother are legendary Jedi, your aunt a former Chief of state—"

"--before that she was the Princess of Alderaan," added Ben sheepishly.

"Well, of course she was!" said Rachel, raising her voice. "Your grandmother, it turns out, was a queen and senator of the very planet we live on and you don't feel the need to tell me all this while we were dating?" she asked loudly.

I guess now is not the time to tell her about Jacen's wife being the Queen of Hapes, thought Ben. "I was afraid that if you knew all that you wouldn't want to marry me." The turbolift door opened and the family flooded into the hall.

"Honey, I love you. Why would you even think something like that?" Rachel sighed heavily. "It's not as if your grandfather was Darth Vader or something."

Ben coughed as they reached the door to his parent's suite. He rang the door bell and silently thanked the Force that they lived in a secluded little town, not privy to all his family's exploits.

"Dad does this mean we're royalty?" asked Tiann.

"Only in your dreams, Laser Breath," answered Nirice.

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As Han opened the door to their suite, Luke could sense the tension between his son and daughter-in-law.

"Well, hey there kiddo!" greeted Han, dragging Ben into a bear hug and slapping him on the back several times. "About time you got around to letting us meet the family."

"Hey, Uncle Han," croaked Ben, trying to catch his breath. "Uh, this is my wife—"

"--Rachel, it's great to meet you." Han took Rachel's hand and then looked around the room. "Hey, Leia…over here! There's finally someone in the family shorter than you!"

Rachel laughed as Han guided her across the room to meet the rest of the partiers. Ben led the children to the refreshment table and then made up a plate for himself.

"Everything all right, son?" asked Luke, as he approached Ben.

Ben smiled. "Yeah, I had a lot of explaining to do about our illustrious family tree on the way over here."

"Ah, I take it then, Rachel didn't know about Leia?"

"Among others," said Ben, ruefully.

Luke smiled at his son. "We do have a rather unusual family." He paused wondering whether or not now was a good time to have a talk. "Why don't we go out on the balcony and get some fresh air?"

"Okay, Dad," agreed Ben. "That sounds like a good idea.

Luke led the way as Ben balanced his plate of food. After closing the balcony door, the two reclined on the lounges and made them selves comfortable.

"I was proud of you today, Dad," said Ben softly.

"Thank you, Ben. It meant the world to me that you and your family came. I hope Han takes it easy with Rachel, you know how he can be," Luke laughed.

"Rachel is a lot tougher than she looks. I'd put my money on her over Uncle Han any day," joked Ben.

Luke felt Ben struggling for words, but waited patiently. It had been so long since he had just spent time with his son. It was like getting to know him all over again.

"Dad, I know what I did back when I was eighteen was very confusing to you and Mom, but I never stopped loving you both," began Ben.

"Can you tell me why you left, son?" asked Luke softly. "Did we…did I do something wrong?"

"What you really want to know is why I chose not to become a Jedi," answered Ben looking away.

"Answers to both questions would be nice."

Ben took a breath. "There are things you don't know about me. Things that even Rachel doesn't know, I've kept them secret for many years."

Luke found it hard to breathe for a moment as he heard Ben finally say the words that he has waited so long to hear. "What things?"

"There is… a persuasive power in me," whispered Ben. "This power is rooted within my essence in the Force and must never be developed."

"Being strong in the Force is not wrong, son. The key is learning control of such power." said Luke softly, trying to meet his son's eyes.

"It's… different in me, it's more inherent and potentially malignant."

"Are you talking about the Dark Side, Ben? Because all Jedi have that possibility within them," explained Luke. "It's something we guard against continually at the academies and then as individuals our entire lives."

"It goes even beyond what you think of as the Dark side, something far worse." Ben finally met his father's eyes, his face flushing.

Luke could feel the unbearable shame rolling from his son. "But I could've helped you with that—" began Luke.

"No, Dad, you couldn't. I knew you would try and I knew you would fail," said Ben, adamantly.

Luke sat up staring at his son, stunned with this realization. "Did you have…visions about this, Ben?"

"Yes," answered his son. "Hideous visions, the dormant malevolence I posses is horrifying." Ben's face crumpled in agony. "I could become even worse than..."

"…my father?" whispered Luke.

Ben nodded his head. "I realized eventually that the only way to prevent this was to never train in the ways of the Force."

"Why couldn't you tell us this?" Luke asked, incredulous.

Ben swallowed. "I was ashamed, Dad. I thought you would be, too. The son of the greatest Jedi of his era couldn't become what his father wanted him to be?" Ben looked down at his hands for a moment. "I was also afraid you and Mom would talk me out of my decision."

"Ben, I could never be ashamed of you, nor could your mother."

Ben paused. "I felt the hurt I caused you and Mom when I made that decision. It was painful seeing the disappointment in your eyes every day."

"So that's why you left?" asked Luke, placing his hand on Ben's shoulder.

"That and…I don't think you realized the pressure from outside sources I had to contend with. Government officials came when I was fifteen and tried to pressure me into reversing my decision," admitted Ben. "And you can't have missed the fact that I was the lead story on the holo news almost every night."

Luke's face flushed as he looked at his son. "I didn't know the Alliance sent representatives. They had no right to do that, no right at all. As for the holo news, I should have done more to shield you from them."

"You couldn't, Dad. That's just it. I had to get away to some place where I could just be me and not your son. I was angry and lost. I blamed you and Mom for leaving me as a young child to go fight the Vong. I thought perhaps that was the reason I was the way I am," cried Ben, frustration showing on his face. "I felt I had to totally break from my past in order to have a future. That's also why I changed my last name. Coming here, I now realize my biggest mistake was cutting you and Mom out of my life."

"We should never have left you. One of us should have gone with you to the Maw," said Luke, shaking his head sadly.

Ben sighed. "We don't know if that would've made any difference. Has it ever occurred to you that the offspring of two incredibly strong Jedi would have had this uncontrollable power regardless?"

Luke stood, his face wet with tears. "I don't know, son. All I know is that I love you so much. Please tell me it's not too late for us to come together as a family again."

"It's not too late, Dad," whispered Ben standing also. "Can you ever forgive me?

Luke pulled Ben into an embrace. "Only if you can forgive me,

too."

Luke held his son as years of pain and sorrow fell from him. Waves of emotion engulfed him as he kissed his son's forehead and brushed the hair from his eyes.

"Hey you two, you're missing a really great party in here," announced Han, smiling as he stuck his head out the balcony door. "Jacen and Tenel Ka have promised to dance the Corellian mamba and Caleb has his Aunt Jaina in a head lock, although I'm thinking Jaina can take him."

Luke laughed as relief flooded through his body. "Come on son, I certainly can't miss out on all that."

"No," said Ben, "I think you've missed out on enough for one lifetime."