Summary: "How certain are you that what you brought back is 100 percent pure Sam?"Dean's thoughts during that last conversation with Sammy in the season finale.
A/N: I am sure that last scene will inspire many people to write ficlets much, much better than this one, but I could not resist trying to get into Dean's head and figure out the reason behind that blindingly bright smile at the end of the episode…
Disclaimer: I went to the crossroads, tried to sell my soul, but Sam and Dean still belong to Eric Kripe. Damn that REB (red-eyed b...h)
"You know when Jake saw me, it was like he saw a ghost."
I knew this conversation was coming, knew it from the moment you looked at me when Jake was talking and I could not meet your eyes. Knew in that moment I should have been following Dad's rules – Shoot First, Ask Questions Later. Knew that you would want an explanation, just thought I would have a little more time to come up with a good one…
"I mean hell you heard him Dean, he said he killed me."
I know what he said, Sammy. But you are back and you are safe, and most importantly, not dead, so he was wrong. You are here and that's all that matters.
"Glad he was wrong."
"I don't think he was Dean."
Yes, he was Sam. You are not dead. I may have failed you then, but I am not going to fail you again. Yellow Eyes is dead and you are going to live a long, happy life with your 2.5 kids and white picket fence, I am going to make sure of that.
"What happened? After I was stabbed?"
Can we not go there, Sam, please? Can't you just let it go? Just this once…I am not strong enough yet…I know that if I think about that moment, you will be able to see the truth in my eyes. Just give me a few more days, little brother, so I can build my walls again…
"I already told you."
"Not everything."
No, not everything. I can't think of those hours now…holding you in my arms as you died, carrying you back to the Impala, growling at Bobby if he even dared to touch you, sitting in the back with you cradled in my lap, watching you lying there on that bed, knowing every second that I had broken my promise to you…that I let something bad happen to you on my watch. Please, Sam, don't take me back to those hours. Can we just stick with the last hour – Dad's out of hell, and you are safe from the Demon. It's everything you wanted - if my soul was the price for that, it was a small price to pay
"Sam, we just killed The Demon, can we celebrate for a minute?"
"Did I die? Did you sell your soul for me like Dad did for you?"
You never did learn to stop asking questions, did you, Sammy? I should have taped your mouth shut when you were five. You don't want to know the answers any more than I want to tell you. Just let me protect you from this.
"Oh come on! NO!!"
"Tell me the truth. Dean, tell me the truth."
God, don't you understand? I can't tell you, Sam. I can't. I know you have figured it out, just like Bobby did. Guess that's just one more thing I don't do very well…keep secrets.
"Sam…"
"How long did you get?"
Stop looking at me with those puppy dog eyes, Sam, I can never lie to you when you do that.
"One year. I got one year."
It's long enough, Sammy. Long enough for me to make sure you are going to be ok.
"You shouldn't have done that. How could you do that?"
I didn't have a choice, Sammy! Why can't you understand that? I had to protect you. Anyway, my soul means nothing without you around to be a pain in the ass, don't you know that? So, please don't be angry at me, and please don't leave, cause I can handle going to hell, but I can't handle that.
"Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job."
"And what do you think my job is?"
Your job? Your job is to be my little brother, to be happy, to be normal.
"What??"
"You save my life over and over. I mean you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you?"
No, Sammy. Cause I won't let you sacrifice anything for me. That's an older brother creed, not a younger brother one. There is no getting out of this deal for me, Sam, not unless I am willing to lose you again, and I am not going to allow that. But that is at least something I can keep to myself for now.
"You are my big brother. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I am going to get you out of this. I guess I got to save your ass for a change."
You already have, Sam. Because hearing you say that, seeing that fierce determination in your eyes, I know that the Demon was lying. I know that what I brought back, what I traded for, is really you…this is 100 percent my Sammy, and nothing else.
"Yeah…"
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