Authors note: hai, hai, this is rather sad, isn't it? Killer eyes-kun. I'm glad you think Gaara-sama is cute, I think so too. Thanks for your review.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; if I did I'd have made Sasuke have pink highlights.
Bitter sweet memories;
Chapter two: Memories of the lost and found (part one)
Sighing heavily and wiping a stray tear from his reddened cheeks Gaara lent against the wooden walls heavily, truth be told, he had been sitting there for hours and many times either Tamari or Kankuro tried to coax him out of there. He had locked the door, and he had told that if they didn't want to die, they wouldn't break it down.
Sure, they understood that Gaara needed his space but never had he been so…cut off from the two of them before. He had refused to eat and it was getting late.
Tamari had pulled Kankuro to the side, taking him off his course to the bathroom "is Gaara…crying?" She asked concern evident in her eyes and voice.
There was silence for a few moments and Kankuro listened to what was happening on the other side of the hardwood door, he looked down at his short sister and nodded solemnly "hai…I guess…" he mumbled in affirmation.
None too happy about the situation, Tamari shook her head and knocked gently on the door, the crying stopped abruptly and sniffling could be heard "…Gaara, it's Tamari…are you-"
"Leave me alone" Gaara interrupted weakly, his voice filled with sadness.
"But I-" Tamari continued.
"Go!" Gaara counted, his protests seemed a little stronger then the last… He buried his face in his hands sighing with relief as he heard two pairs of footfall fade as they walked away from the room.
Gaara stood alone in a brightly coloured and brightly lit room facing the portrait of a woman with sand blond hair, her brown eyes shone with happiness as she smiled sweetly for the picture 'Oka-san…' Gaara thought sadly gripping a knife tightly.
Raising the knife above his hand he focused the collision point, he then bought the knife down upon it, his eyes widened slightly in disappointment as sand seemingly appeared from no where and blocked the supposed attack, he said to himself "it's no use…the sand interferes."
"Gaara-sama" a voice sounded.
"Yashamaru" Gaara turned to see a disappointed face.
Stepping forward Yashamaru spoke with a smile "I was ordered by Kazekage-sama to be your caretaker, I am to keep an eye on your health and protect you" he paused for a moment "please don't do such a thing in front of me".
Gaara trained his eyes to the ground, ashamed of his earlier performance in the playground
"But then again, the sand will protect you" Yashamaru said, moving his hand behind his heard and smiling unsurely yet happily.
Looking up for a moment, then back down to the floor, Gaara spoke "Yashamaru, Gomen" eying his caretakers wounds regretfully.
Yashamaru smiled patting the gauze on his head lightly "oh, this? It's just a scratch" she said, his voice as light-hearted as ever.
Gaara stared blankly at the floor, his tears had stopped for the time being, to be honest he had always hated crying, it made him feel vulnerable, but usually he welcomed the strange feeling, it was not often that he did feel vulnerable anyway, the Yashamaru had said, the sand will protect him. He hand only ever been hit by two people, hurt by two people, Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. They were strong, very strong indeed.
Looking up unsurely Gaara asked "Do wounds hurt?"
Smiling at the young sand-nins curiosity Yashamaru replied "just a little. It will heal quickly, though".
Glancing outside for a moment to view the sands flailing through the town, Gaara turned back once again to Yashamaru "Hey, Yashamaru…"
"Hai?"
"What does pain feel like?" he asked, his eyes once again trained to his hand, at the question, Yashamaru's smile finally faltered "I've never been hurt before, so I was wondering how it felt…"
Yashamaru turned away in thought 'hmm-ing' lightly "How should I explain this…" Gaara looked up at him "it's painful and unbearable…like, when a person is shot or cut, he becomes very ill at ease and he can't think normally." He paused for a moment to ran a hand through his sand blond hair and laugh nervously "I can't explain it well, but simply put, it's not a very good condition to be in."
Gaara's eyes wondered back to the gauze around Yashamaru's arm and immediately felt guilty for what he had done "Yashamaru" said man looked down in slight surprise.
"Hai?" he answered.
"Then, do you hate me, Yashamaru?" The look of seriousness on Gaara's face shocked the elder man, his eyes filled with concern and sadness for the little boy before him. He watched as Gaara trained his eyes to the floor and then back at Yashamaru. Yashamaru sighed and closed his eyes in thought.
"People hurt each other and get hurt during their lifetimes" he said certainly "but it is difficult to hate another" Yashamaru smiled down at Gaara.
Returning the smile "arigato, Yashamaru!" Gaara replied "I think I understand what hurting is, now".
"Really?" Yashamaru tilted his head with concern filled eyes.
"Maybe, I'm injured too, like everyone else. I always hurt here…" Gaara place his hand on his crest and eying it sadly with the knife still in his grasp "I'm not bleeding, but my chest really hurts here".
Yashamaru stepped forward, the smile completely non-existent on his features, he knelt before Gaara and taking the knife from his grasp. Gaara gasped as the elder held the knife and swiftly cut across the tip of his ring finger, blood dripped slowly from the wound.
"Flesh wounds bleed, and they may seem painful…" looking to his hand, he continued with a smile "but as time goes by, the pain eventually disappears. And if you use medicine, the wound will heal even faster" he tilted his hand towards Gaara to emphasize the point. "But the tricky wounds are the ones in your heart. Those are difficult to heal".
"A wound of the heart?" Gaara asked.
"A wound of the heart if different from a flesh wound. Unlike a flesh wound, there are no ointments to heal it, and there are times when they never heal" a moments silence followed in which Gaara placed his hand on his heat before Yashamaru continued "but there is one thing that can heal a wound of the heart" Gaara stared wide eyed at the elder as he continued "it is a troublesome medicine" Yashamaru looked toward the woman in the photo "and you can only receive it from another person".
"Nani? How can I heal this…?" Gaara asked desperately whilst following Yashamaru's gaze to the photograph.
"The thing that can heal a wound of the heart is…" he looked towards Gaara "love"
"Love?"
"Hai" Yashamaru supplied.
"How can I get that?" Gaara asked curiously "What should I do to get rid of this pain…?"
With a wide smile Yashamaru replied "Gaara-sama, you have already received it." looking back to the picture of the sand blond woman, the elder male continued "love is the spirit of devoting yourself to someone important and close to you…it is expressed by caring for and protecting that person. Just like my sister, I believe my sister always loved you, Gaara-sama. The shukaku of the sand is a living soul that is usually used for combat purposes." A short pause "the sand automatically protects you because of love. I believe the will of your mother is inside the sand".
He looked into the picture Gaara could see his reflection in the glass of the frame, his mothers hair – the woman in the picture, was slightly darker then Yashamarus' own. They looked so much alike, it was never hard to believe they were related.
"My sister probably wanted to protect you, even after her death" he was now looking sadly at the picture, almost longingly.
"Yashamaru" Gaara said.
Said man turned to Gaara "Hai?"
"Thanks back there… for stopping me."
"My please" Yashamaru said, placing his ring finger in his mouth and sucking it lightly, to stop the bleeding "you are a person who is important and close to me after all, Gaara-sama." At that Gaara smiled. He stepped forward a few paces and took hold of Yashamaru's injured hand staring at it worriedly for a few moments.
Yashamaru's surprised expression changed to one of sadness as Gaara took his finger into his own mouth a sucked like Yashamaru himself had done a moment ago "Can you feel my pain?" Yashamaru asked, his grey eyes filled with sorrow.
Gaara took Yashamaru's hand from his mouth and mumbled sadly "it tastes like metal…"
(A/N: Well this is going to have to be in two parts, because this is already WAY too long! I hope you like it, this part wasn't much different from the series, but don't worry! It's leading somewhere!)