Chapter 3

A giant stuffed panda is shoved into my open arms with its big, black and beady eyes staring up at me. Tony seems rather pleased with himself. When do I break the news to him that I'm not Michelle and big teddy bears simply don't impress me? I'm humouring him for now. He woke up like shit, but then, so did I. For the first hour he didn't even speak to me. Now he's acting like nothing's happened and we're back to being bosom buddies. It's a fucking joke really.

Tony's like a big kid when he gets going. He loves fairground rides and hoopla stalls, candyfloss and ice-cream. He's in his element right now, marching up and down the pier and spending his money on whatever he can. It looks like tonight's going to be on me then.

Trailing after Tony, not quite as enthused, I look around the pier a little. There are kids everywhere, running and screaming and dripping ice-cream all over themselves. Their parents are wandering around aimlessly acting as though they haven't noticed. Sometimes I can't stand the seaside, it's like a breeding ground for unhappy families trying to make a go of things, all false smiles and fake laughter. Everything will be alright if we buy a few ice-creams and build a sandcastle.

Coming to stop, mainly because Tony has, I put down Fred (yes, I've named the panda) for a moment and lean against the railings. I suppose it's not all bad, there's nothing wrong with the pebble beach that stretches out beneath us.

'Right, come on, we're going down there,' he says as though he's reading my mind. He moves away from the rails again and tugs on my sleeve. Thank fuck, he's finally had an idea that doesn't involve eating pure sugar and spinning around like a Catherine wheel for several minutes.

Picking up Fred, I trudge after him once more and down onto the beach, my feet crunching in the pebbles. He takes a minute to hire a couple of deckchairs, demands I leave Fred in one of them, and then pulls me towards the water before I get chance to object.

He stops in his tracks, throws his shoes and socks aside, rolls up his jeans and runs straight into the sea. I'm frozen, staring at him as he jumps the waves, laughing all the while. He's been possessed, surely. This is not the guy I thought I knew. I would have been less surprised if he'd suggested going to the nudist beach.

'Don't just stand there you fucking tosser,' chides Tony suddenly, knocking me from my trance. That's better, now that's normal behaviour. 'Fucking come on!'

Better move I suppose. I shrug, toss my jacket and trainers aside and then walk down the beach to join him in the water. Considering the speed he'd gone at it I wasn't expecting it to be this cold actually. Next time we're going to the Caribbean.

Tony's staring out across the sea now, his right hand held up to shade his eyes from the afternoon sun. 'Fancy swimming over to France and grabbing some cheap vodka?' he questions absently.

'Was that a hint?' I ask him, glancing over and narrowing my eyes slightly. 'Because if you hadn't spent everything you had left on winning that fucking bear you'd have been able to buy your own drinks. You were rubbish at that by the way,' I add as I turn away.

'Thanks, Max,' Tony laughs, turning his gaze to me and smiling in disbelief. 'It's fun though; you can't say you're not having fun.'

Oh, I'm pretty sure I've had fun at some point while we've been in Brighton; I just know he wasn't present at the time. Shame really. There's a day left yet, he might surprise me, stranger things have happened after all. I'd like to look back and say that Tony was the reason these few days had turned out so great, but I'm not so sure he has it in him. When he becomes aware of enjoying my company he runs off and latches himself onto the nearest female. For this to work, he needs to stop being so fucking afraid of getting close to me.

When I decide to look at him again, he's stripping out of his shirt and moving to hold it in his hand so that he can bask in the sun. He stretches his arms out, tilting his face up to the golden sunshine and closes his eyes. Fuck, why does he have to be so goddamed perfect? It's like torture being this close to him and not being able to have him.

He stands motionless for ten minutes, tiny beads of sweat now glistening against his milky complexion. What I wouldn't give to lean over and kiss them away.

With a soft sigh, I retreat back to the deckchairs to join Fred, and I continue to watch Tony from afar. There is a small chance that tonight might turn out better than last night. Only slight, but it's still there. I won't be running off with a local tonight no matter what happens. Even if he doesn't want to, I can try.

Eventually, Tony flops into the chair beside mine, riffling through his pockets until he comes across his lighter. Several minutes later he's puffing away on a joint, slouching down in his seat, with his arms folded behind his head and legs crossed in front of him.

'Nips really doesn't know what she's missing,' he observes, blowing a stream of smoke toward me.

I wondered how long it would take for him to mention Michelle again, but that's all he says. Tony sniffs and then leans around Fred to pass me the rollup, Fred's fur ending up singed in the process. I decide to remain silent for now. There's nothing to be said.

'Plans for tonight?' I ask eventually, even though I know he's going to leave it up to me to make the decision.

Tony shrugs his shoulders, clearly not having a care in the world right now. 'Whatever,' he answers, as helpful as ever. At least his noncommittal response gives me clearance to take him wherever I want. Tonight we'll be going somewhere at least halfway decent if I have anything to do with it.

And if Tony wants a good night out, I'll sure as hell give him one.